[sfearl1]

Originally Posted by hman85

Lol yeah i do the same thing. I always think i haven't gained any but then my friends will ber like you look alot bigger are you on "steroids" nah not me

"geeeez dude are you on roidz or somethin??"

"nah bro just eating a buttload of food and training my ass off" LOL

[Xodus]

I know what I see in the mirror isn't really indicative of how others see me. Body dysmorphic issues or maybe you just get so used to 'seeing' yourself everyday that changes are more subtle.

I see myself as 'average', with parts that can be brought up, slimmed down, changed, whatever. I get nit-picky over littler things.

Others see me as 'huge'. They are quite shocked when they hear how much I really weigh. I've been called Andre the Giant (I didn't take that as a compliment, but he meant it as one), the football player statements, and the general 'you are a huge motherf*cker', 'wouldn't want to fight you', etc. comments from people I just meet.

Just yesterday I picked up my mail at work and I got a tech mag with an ad for a security product on the cover. One member of the 'team' was this big, jacked dude. Someone wrote my name across his chest before it got put in my bin. That I took as a compliment. Even though that is not what I look like.

Perception is a funny thing.

I've started wearing long sleeve shirts to work now and even THAT was commented on. This is really the reason I want to contain any bloat and am not shooting for 'scale' weight. I probably wouldn't notice a damn thing but it would have all the hens and nervous nellies chattering about 'juice', esp with how prevalent it is in the news now.

If I can continue to recomp nicely and silently under my clothes, all within my normal scale fluctuations, I will be very happy with this cycle. As of right now, muscle hardness is way up, midsection and even my face is looking leaner, shoulders/forearms are getting defined, quads/calves look great and its only just begun!


I just realized that was sort of a tangent...

[pudzian2]

I couldnt relate to you more. Im about 240 and I feel normal. I look in the mirror and see a normal guy my age. I get discouraged sometimes and continuously ask my gf if I look big. Shes always like your HUGE now shut up or your going to get a 'hot head' (ego). It truly isnt about an ego. Its that I actually dont always see myself as big. Its funny you mention the long sleeves. Thats exactly what i have done. Before using gear I would wear extra tight sleeved shirts and casually try and flaunt the fact that I workout (not arrogantly though). Now I walk around in big baggy long sleeves and sweat shirts. It's my way of hiding until Im ready to show off the physique im working so hard for.

Body dysmorphic disorder is truly something that plagues me. Although i will say I am not going to let it attack my health.

[sfearl1]

Originally Posted by pudzian2

I couldnt relate to you more. Im about 240 and I feel normal. I look in the mirror and see a normal guy my age. I get discouraged sometimes and continuously ask my gf if I look big. Shes always like your HUGE now shut up or your going to get a 'hot head' (ego). It truly isnt about an ego. Its that I actually dont always see myself as big. Its funny you mention the long sleeves. Thats exactly what i have done. Before using gear I would wear extra tight sleeved shirts and casually try and flaunt the fact that I workout (not arrogantly though). Now I walk around in big baggy long sleeves and sweat shirts. It's my way of hiding until Im ready to show off the physique im working so hard for.

Body dysmorphic disorder is truly something that plagues me. Although i will say I am not going to let it attack my health.

all of my shirts are big and baggy now also. i used to wear cut offs and stuff in the gym every time i worked out and just like you i would like to show off the fact that i worked out so i would wear the tight short sleeved shirts when i was out. now i'm the exact opposite and i have people telling me i look big in a hoodie. i'm like, 'how can you tell i'm wearing a damn hoodie!'

[pudzian2]

Originally Posted by sfearl1

all of my shirts are big and baggy now also. i used to wear cut offs and stuff in the gym every time i worked out and just like you i would like to show off the fact that i worked out so i would wear the tight short sleeved shirts when i was out. now i'm the exact opposite and i have people telling me i look big in a hoodie. i'm like, 'how can you tell i'm wearing a damn hoodie!'

hoodies are my staple outfit hahah. I feel I look bigger in weird way when Im covered up than when Im wearing a tight T-shirt

[hman85]

Its Bigarexia guys what a horrible disease!lol it could be worse

[pudzian2]

Originally Posted by hman85

Its Bigarexia guys what a horrible disease!lol it could be worse

yea but its still a "depressing" (for lack of a better word) mental state to consistently be in.....

[Xodus]

Originally Posted by pudzian2

yea but its still a "depressing" (for lack of a better word) mental state to consistently be in.....

I always laughed at my ex (who was a size 0, YES ZERO) she would 'creep' up to a size 2 and start freaking out. I guess now I understand what she saw (or didn't see) in the mirror.

[Xodus]

Decisions, decisions...

I have been selected to run and give feedback on the Beta release of the upcoming Neovar #2.

I've never really been a creatine responder, but I tried out two bottles of the original several months ago and was absolutely impressed by it. Even other nutrient partitioners like YG did very little, if anything for me. This product absolutely surprised me and I would love to run the new version as I think I can give solid and honest feedback regarding what its doing.

Here was my review of it when he asked about it:

After the initial gastro problems (day one), I've had sick 'all day' pumps and some increased vascularity.
I've noticed veins across my chest that were not there before and my hands/forearms now have bulging veins. I've gotten lots of comments on 'looking bigger' without any change in bodyweight.

Neovar/carb timing wasn't always perfect, but the second I had carbs, I swelled up. For example, I worked out, got decent pumps, ate more caps, ate a large breakfast(steak and eggs) and went about my day, a few hours later I headed to the Great American Beer Fest. After about the 8th 1oz sample, I thought my skin was going to rip. My arms were rock hard. It was almost painful.

I've always considered myself a creatine non-responder, I've tried just about all makes and models of it too. Never really got anything from straight monohydrate, even at high doses and with optimal intake (fully dissolved in grape juice). My pre/peri workout drinks contain CEE and Di Creatine Malate, but since introducing Neovar, the pumps have been sick. I'm not sure of any strength type increases (although I have been increasing steadily) as I had just changed up my routine to a higher volume workout.

Strictly from the mirror perspective, I've leaned out at an accelerated pace as this stuff was really the only 'change'.


Lanbane realizes that I am 'on' and that doesn't seem to be an issue, but one of the stipulations is running any 'insulin type' product in conjunction.

I have already ordered the IGF and a few other things, but when I opened the package today, there was a note saying they ran out again and will ship ASAP. Their site says "new stock en route."


For the Neovar beta, it will run 4 weeks, starting in ~9 days or so.

The decision will be to accept this beta product (which I REALLY want to do) and push back the start of my IGF by a few weeks which would really extend well beyond post cycle therapy if I just shuffle things downward. I don't think it would be that big of a deal.

Or I can pass on the opportunity, run the course I've got outlined and let someone else give it a go.


What do you think?

[pistonpump]

go with the neovar. the IGF will still be great in PCT and beyond...Dont pass up the oppurtunity imo

[pudzian2]

sounds awesome man. Keep us updated on the stuff

[Xodus]

Alright, I'll throw my hat into the Neovar beta testers ring.

I figured pushing it back a bit wouldn't hurt.

Hopefully I am still 'chosen'.


Meals were a little screwy today as I was busy. Workout was good tonight, strength was a little down, but it was productive nonetheless.

Pinned 1.5ml Prop and .5ml EQ into my left delt.

Tomorrow is EQ/Enth in the glute. Hopefully this BD sh!t don't hurt like the BP prop did.

[pistonpump]

i heard all the BD stuff is pretty painful. High BA content i think. I know how high BA can be, with the stealth line.

[Xodus]

Originally Posted by pistonpump

i heard all the BD stuff is pretty painful. High BA content i think. I know how high BA can be, with the stealth line.

Yeah, the 'sneaky' stuff is definitely painful. BP makes that line, so I sort of expected it.

We shall see with BD.

[pudzian2]

hey X what's your diet look like? if you dont mind sharing.