Guess the Pitch and Win Some SCHWAG!!
03-19-2008 01:15 AM
Hello, Iam the Jacob of USPLABS, you might have heard of me in your travels to secret and sexy places. So, now you have seen my face and you know just how grand the Jacob is. So, you might ask yourself, how can we get jacob to dress our shelfs with his God like products and bring us into his secret but oh so sexy world. Well, you just have to sign here my friend, I will take care of the rest.
03-19-2008 05:24 PM
Jacob: As a businessman I am having a hard time understanding GNC's business plan
GNC: Really? What part?
Jacob: The part where you guys sell overpriced stuff that sucks.
GNC: Are you saying that Muscletech products don't build muscle as well as anabolic steroids?
Jacob: I could build more muscle cycling M&M's and licorice than with most of the stuff that you stock your shelves with.
GNC: Well what do you suggest we do?
*Jacob pulls out the USP line*
03-19-2008 05:37 PM
I sure hope 14 year olds don't misunderstand the use of Anabolic Pump. Kids are gonna take it and expect unreal pumps. Unless of course they understand nutrition, then it will most likley work wonders for them.
03-20-2008 11:11 AM
What I'd like to believe:
Jacob: Hi, my name is Jacob. I'm from USPlabs.
GNC CEO: You should buy this Celltech.
J: No, I'm not a customer, I'm a seller.
GNC: It will add 8.4lbs of muscle in 14 days.
J: We're not even in a store, this is your office. You pulled that from under your desk.
GNC: How bout' some endothil?
J: Listen, USP has a line of innovative products....
GNC: Ooooo.... I like the word innovative.
J: Uh, yeah, anyway, they have a great history of success with trainers.
GNC: you lost me.
J: I'm saying that these products have been successful in the bodybuilding world for years.
GNC: I don't follow.
J: Uh, I have a host of labs studies and testimonials with me....
GNC: Whoa, whoa. I'm affraid you're gonna have speak English, there, Dr. Einstien.
J: (blink, blink) People take these products and they get bigger, or they feel better, or their joints don't hurt anymore and so on.
GNC: I'm sorry, I just don't see the value in these products.
J: ugh... USP will give you GORILLA LIKE STRENGTH! They cause MASSIVE MUSCLE INFUSION!
GNC: Oh yeah?
J: You'll have NITRO FUELED WORKOUTS! You'll bend STEEL BEAMS.
GNC: Ooooo...steel beams.
J: Ummm... ANABOLIC....MYOSTATIN......ANT I-CATOBOLIC....874%!
GNC: Stop right there! I love it! I can tell these are amazing products.
J: Great so can we draw up a store wide deal.
GNC: Only if you buy this Celltech.
J: So if I buy this one jar of Celltech, you'll give me a nation wide deal.
GNC: I'll also throw in this sample of Lipo 6.
GNC: SWEET! I just made double commission.
03-20-2008 11:21 AM
Binging on Pure ****ing Rage
03-20-2008 11:36 AM
f'ing halarious Dancebot!!!
03-20-2008 11:37 AM
Originally Posted by Dancebot 2000
have to give it to the man that was funny.
03-20-2008 11:38 AM
agreed that was hilarious dancebot
Don't miss out on the next deal:
03-20-2008 12:36 PM
hahahah that was very good dancebot
03-20-2008 02:38 PM
GNC Sales associate(SA)- a young man , well built, and gets his stuff from anabolic minds. Hi hows it going? Shakes hands. is there anything I can assist you with today?
Jacob- All this is overpriced. I can get my stuff a lot cheaper from Nutraplanet.com and USPS labs for free, I'm the owner (lightly taps GNCSa's shoulder).
GNC SA- Good for you sir.(lightly punches in arm back) congratulations on your success. Your name is Jacob correct..I know because I've been buying from Nutraplanet and know the anabolic minds forum for some time.
Jacob: Yes that is correct. I want put USP labs in your store.
GNCsa's- in order to do that sir you must fill out this paper take it to GNC human resources department listed on the back and you have a chance of getting Usp labs in our store. know what I'm saying Jacob?
Jacob-Thank you very much.I'll do that and I'll recommend you. you have done an awesome job friend. and since I have the money I'm going to go ahead and buy GNC's sexual aid formula and mega man since I'm on vacation and forgot my Vitamins and never know if I'll need to get excited fast. You know everyone can get tired sometimes.
GNCsa-Yes I know=)
Gncsa's Thank you for your business brother.
Shakes hands.Both walk away smiling
03-21-2008 12:33 AM
so did i win yet? :P come on i started the muscle tech thing
03-22-2008 06:58 PM
Binging on Pure ****ing Rage
Addys please brethren.
03-22-2008 07:14 PM
03-22-2008 07:30 PM
Damn that's F'ed up there was like 4 people that entered and of course i'm 1 of the ones that doesn't win. I don't even get an honorable mention. wow biased much
03-22-2008 07:32 PM
Dude I know USPs products can make ya go crazy if ya don't get them but I didn't win either lol. Theres no biased here those guys posted some hilarious stuff up. Also I think you need to realize you were given the opportunity for FREE supplements..
Originally Posted by kbtoy31
and there were 10 entries..
03-22-2008 07:42 PM
What I can't bust balls now?
Originally Posted by OCCFan023
03-22-2008 07:48 PM
Sure you can, that didn't really sound like it though lol
03-22-2008 07:57 PM
03-22-2008 07:59 PM
03-22-2008 08:34 PM
yes congratulations guys!
Yea sorry if it came of sounding bitter I guess you can't really hear the humor in a post.
Similar Forum Threads
By JayRock in forum General Chat
Last Post: 03-03-2011, 12:32 PM
By ChaseRoy in forum Pics
Last Post: 05-10-2003, 04:28 PM
By bigbadboss101 in forum Exercise Science
Last Post: 03-04-2003, 03:08 PM