Hopefully I'm allowed to participate in this as I'm European... But who cares if I'm not, let's get this started anyway
"Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The vacuum cleaners were hung by the baseball bat with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of Vaporize softgels danced in their heads. Mom in her Swagger Designer T-Shirt and Dad in his cap, had just settled down for a long winter's nap. When out on the festival hall there arose such a clatter, Paulus sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window Paulus flew like a flash, tore open the ashtray and threw up the sash. When what to Paulus 's wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature fighter plane , and eight tiny reindeer, with a little old driver so lively and quick Paulus knew in a moment, it must be St. Nick. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name. Now Mike the Primal Male ! Now Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen! On Comet, on Cupid, on Donder and Blitzen! To the top of the lamp-post , to the top of the wall, now dash away, dash away, dash away all! As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly, when they meet with an obstacle mount to the sky, so up to the housetop the coursers they flew, with a fighter plane full of fleshlights and St. Nicholas, too. And then in a twinkling Paulus heard on the roof, the prancing and pawing of each little hoof. As Paulus drew back inside and was turning around, down the baseball bat St. Nicholas came with a bound. He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes as soot. A bundle of fleshlights he had flung on his back, and he looked like a peddlar, just opening his pack. His eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples, how merry, his cheeks were like dandelions , his nose like a cherry. His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard on his chin was as green as the snow. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filled all the vacuum cleaners then turned with a jerk, and laying his finger aside of his nose, and giving a nod, up the baseball bat he rose. He sprang to his fighter plane, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew, like the down of a thistle. But Paulus heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight, Merry Christmas to Paulus and to Paulus Good Night!."
