AX's Valentine's Day Contest!! (Free Roses!!)

[T-AD]

AX's Valentine's Day Massacre Contest
aka How to lose a girl in 20 words or less... ​

1 dozen long stem red roses.... $75
1 pink fuzzy bear with premium chocolate sampler... $50
1 musical romantic greeting card... $7
...Sending them to a complete stranger in exchange for a restraining order... Priceless ​

Attention: Pimps, Macdaddies, Aces, Johnny Smooth's, Romeo's, Loverboys and Men of all ages!!!​

Even the most alpha pimp daddy has had a bad night! It's the on-going struggle of the male species, saying just the right thing and moving just the right way to get noticed. You may have the swagger, the clothes, the 6-pack abs, the styled bed head, the fancy cologne, and all the tools to get the job done right. But if you can't make that first impression and hold their attention in your favor, it's time to go home to Handria and revisit that box of Kleenex! I don't care if you're the master of the one-finger bra unhook technique, everybody's gotten tangled up at some point!!

To help you out this Valentine's Day, AX is giving away copies of the new AXCITE ATTRACTION GUIDE!!!! Filled with tips and tricks to help you score that lucky lady!! ​

What do you have to do to win? EASY! Tell us about the WORST pick-up lines you've used and what happened after using them. :footinmouth: Or let us know about that perfect evening gone perfectly wrong!! wned2: You may not have scored then, but we're giving you the chance to "score" now!! The AXcite Attraction Guide will be your's in plenty of time to "bone-up" on your Valentine's Day game!!

Not sure what I'm talking about? Here's a few (bad) examples:
-Hey baby, are those jeans made from glass? Cuz I'd love to see myself in 'em!
-Nice shoes, wanna ****?
-Wow, it must be dark out tonight cuz I can see the stars in your eyes, baby!
-Nice dress. It'd look great on the floor tomorrow morning!
-Me, you, a bottle of Jager... wanna get naked?
-Nice knees, baby. Are those carpet burns? No? It could be!!

Ok, so those were some pretty bad examples, but you get the idea. Let us know what's done you wrong and what's the worst you've used. ​

Details:
-Contest is running on AX, AM, and BB.com
-3 winners from each forum will be chosen to receive the AXcite Attraction Guide!
...Oh, but it gets even BETTER!!!...
-1 lucky winner from EACH forum will receive 1 Dozen Roses sent to whomever they choose this Valentine's Day!!!! (Roses ain't cheap this time of year, boys!)*USA only.

Contest Deadline: Wednesday, February 11 at 12:00 noon EST.
Judging will be done by AX Reps and Staff.

Now, when you sign up for The Score Sheet newsletter, you'll also get a FREE CHAPTER from the Axcite Attraction Guide, enough to tickly your fancy till you can win one here!! So get your mojo workin and visit Sign up for the The “Score” Sheet | Axcite now to sign up! While your rememberin the glory days, pop by Axcite Pheromone LP7 - Get The Unfair Advantage With AXCITE Pheromone Cologne to find out what it's all about!!

This Valentine's Day, let the folks who bring out the Ultimate Alpha Male in you help you to SCORE BIG with AXCITE!!! ​

​

Giggidy Giggidy, Giggidy Goo​

 

[crader]

Well the roses are sweet anyway...

 

[T-AD]

LMAO!!! Ladies are free to enter, too!! Though, it's not often a woman comes at you with a pick-up line, let alone one that fails!! A halfway decent woman could've walked up to me in my day and said "There's gum on my shoe" and I'd be ready to go. :lol: :lol:

 

[andrew732]

Well you guys will get a kick out of this stuff.
My worst pick-up line used was so you from around here when the girl worked for the restauraunt, hahahah yeah that was bad I know, learned from my experiences that you need to think before you speak.

My worst experience was when I went to SouthBeach, Miami, FL. I saw a naked model sun bathing so I decided to approach her, she looked at and said "please leave me alone, do not talk to me, I am begging you to leave me in peace." I was so embarrassed, I learned never bother to approach a naked woman on a beach, may cause akwardness unless you are using AXCITE, cuz it always leaves a good first impression.

 

[suncloud]

my favorite one is : you've stolen my heart, but its OK - i have 3 more in the freezer!





its good for a laugh, and that's about it

 

[andrew732]

my favorite one is : you've stolen my heart, but its OK - i have 3 more in the freezer!





its good for a laugh, and that's about it

nice, that's a crude one to say to a woman:18: LOL

 

[JOHNJESSICA20]

AX make it possible for me to sleep in my own bed and not on couch! If I forget the flowers this year I might be spendn the next V-day alone..lol


Pick-up line: Hey, do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package!

General reaction to this line: Punch in the throat




Pick-up Line:"If you're left leg was Thanksgiving, and your right was Christmas, would you mind if I visited you between the holidays?"

General reaction to this line:
A swift ninja kick to balls..followed by alot of ice.

 

[Urban Monk]

My favorite pickup line (albeit crude):

"If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head."

Surprisingly (or not), it hasn't really worked out too well in practice. I actually got slapped for it once, but its generally good for a laugh. At least my current girlfriend appreciates my sense of humor, and would love the dozen roses .

 

[SilentBob187]

Line: That sweater is very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I'd be cumming too.

 

[PhysiqueFreak]

Perfect Evening Gone Wrong

Well, it started one day when I was at the gym and I saw one of my old flings. I hadn't seen her in about a year, but still liked her as much as I did when we were together. Before I left the gym I asked her if she wanted to get together that night. Well, she said yes and we decided on a movie.

I was a couple days coming off of my summer cut and had started bulking up again. Needless to say, my body wasn't used to the foods I hadn't eaten in 3 months.

Later that night, I picked her up and we went to the movies. Everything was going well as we settled down in our chairs waiting for the movie to start. About half-way through the movie, I thought I was making some really good progress until my stomach started making really loud sounds. This continued on for almost the rest of the movie, but I was holding in there even though I knew she could hear my stomach. A las, as the movie was about to end, I could no longer hold it in and let go. Loud and ... we'll go with unpleasant smelly.

Naturally I was very embarrassed and she was too, seeing as other people noticed. The last time I saw her was after dropping her off at her house after the movie.....

Oh well, I still live to fight another day

 

[T-AD]

Well, it started one day when I was at the gym and I saw one of my old flings. I hadn't seen her in about a year, but still liked her as much as I did when we were together. Before I left the gym I asked her if she wanted to get together that night. Well, she said yes and we decided on a movie.

I was a couple days coming off of my summer cut and had started bulking up again. Needless to say, my body wasn't used to the foods I hadn't eaten in 3 months.

Later that night, I picked her up and we went to the movies. Everything was going well as we settled down in our chairs waiting for the movie to start. About half-way through the movie, I thought I was making some really good progress until my stomach started making really loud sounds. This continued on for almost the rest of the movie, but I was holding in there even though I knew she could hear my stomach. A las, as the movie was about to end, I could no longer hold it in and let go. Loud and ... we'll go with unpleasant smelly.

Naturally I was very embarrassed and she was too, seeing as other people noticed. The last time I saw her was after dropping her off at her house after the movie.....

Oh well, I still live to fight another day

LMAO!!! That's a good one right there.

 

[Johnny7]

Worst line...

2 summers ago a girl wanted to do something and I really didn't. So I figured I'd toss out a joking line when she asked what I would want to do on a date.

Her: So what do you want to do tonight?

Me: I figured we'd have some chicken...and sex.

Her: I don't like chicken.

Awkward silence.

Her: Just give me a call tonight.

Can't remember the excuse I made, but I got out of it and hooked her up with a buddy of mine.

 

[JOHNJESSICA20]

Worst line...

2 summers ago a girl wanted to do something and I really didn't. So I figured I'd toss out a joking line when she asked what I would want to do on a date.

Her: So what do you want to do tonight?

Me: I figured we'd have some chicken...and sex.

Her: I don't like chicken.

Awkward silence.

Her: Just give me a call tonight.

Can't remember the excuse I made, but I got out of it and hooked her up with a buddy of mine.

Can I have her number...lol

 

[BigFish80]

Walk up to a random girl who has a nice rack........ grab her boobs and squeeze. Then respond "Don't worry.......it's OK........ I'm Gay!" I've seen this done with both amazing and horrifying results.

Another...

Walk up to a random girl........ proceed to mess up her hair. Then respond "I just wanted to see what you looked like in the morning........... Yeah you're a keeper, my place or yours?!"

 

[Esox Express]

I must be a pirate, cuz I am diggin' your chest.

 

[lciaccio]

Is your name Jasmine? Cuz i could see you sprawled out on my carpet like Aladdin

I heard you could take loads like you work for UPS

Do you play for the Yankees? cuz i'll trade you my Johnson

I haven't seen anything so white and great since cocaine

You can find me at the playground cuz I could have you riding up and down like a see-saw

Call me Yung-Joc, cuz its goin down baby

haha theres like a million of these things

 

[Johnny7]

Can I have her number...lol

Man, I don't think you want it.

 

[T-AD]

Walk up to a random girl who has a nice rack........ grab her boobs and squeeze. Then respond "Don't worry.......it's OK........ I'm Gay!" I've seen this done with both amazing and horrifying results.

Another...

Walk up to a random girl........ proceed to mess up her hair. Then respond "I just wanted to see what you looked like in the morning........... Yeah you're a keeper, my place or yours?!"

HA!!! I'm likin' those! :rofl:

 

[JOHNJESSICA20]

Man, I don't think you want it.

LMAO

 

[ticco]

Scene: Lying in bed after a romantic evening.

Line: "I have aids"
Reaction: "I wish you told me that earlier...."

simple yet effective and guaranteed to ruin the night.

 

[ShiftyCapone]

LMAO!!! Ladies are free to enter, too!! Though, it's not often a woman comes at you with a pick-up line, let alone one that fails!! A halfway decent woman could've walked up to me in my day and said "There's gum on my shoe" and I'd be ready to go. :lol: :lol:

That's not so much true. I was at the bar once talking to a chick, after a few minutes she turns and says to me, "You know what they say about girls wearing black dresses right?......they wanna f**k." Needless to say, that horrible, horrible pick up line worked on me. Haha, what can I say, I'm a scumbag....
:dance:

 

[T-AD]

:rofl: Nice...

Now that you mention it, I have a similar story to share! I was out with the boyz a few years back bar-hoppin'. We started off at one dive drinkin Jack-n-Cokes. I went up to order, got my drink, turned around and there was this short little girl in front of me. (Short being relative as everyone's short to me...) She says "My friends over there want to know if you're interested in a 3-way." Well, that was a first hearing that one!! So I turned around. Almost in slow motion, as my head turned away from the 2 smiling ghetto whales staring at me, my left arm swung up like the hand on a clock. My face met her's, with my left hand in the air at the same time, and I simply said "No thanks, I'm married", flashing my wedding band. It was an automatic shield defense mechanism that went up all by itself. I was VERY glad I was wearing it that night!!!!

 

[pistonpump]

I say "Hey do you know who Ron Jeremy is?"
She says yeah.... I look down at my crotch and say "its bigger and better" with a head nod. She rolls her eyes and looks the other way and just says one word......"gross"

 

[pistonpump]

Ever try the whole in the popcorn bag before? :toofunny: At least you offered to share popcorn!!! lol

 

[JOHNJESSICA20]

Pick Up Line:
"I may not be the most handsome guy in here, but I'm the only one here drunk enough and the only one talking to you."

General Reaction:
Slapped inface with BudLight bottle.

Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax baby. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

And last but not least bring out this one:
You might as well sleep with me because I’m going to tell everybody we did it anyway

 

[tim1985]

My last restraining order came when I complimented this chick I was dating on her cooking abilities.

The compliment: "If my ex could have cooked this good, I wouldn't have killed her."

Needless to say things became awkward after that:crackhead:

 

[suncloud]

Worst line...

2 summers ago a girl wanted to do something and I really didn't. So I figured I'd toss out a joking line when she asked what I would want to do on a date.

Her: So what do you want to do tonight?

Me: I figured we'd have some chicken...and sex.

Her: I don't like chicken.

Awkward silence.

Her: Just give me a call tonight.

Can't remember the excuse I made, but I got out of it and hooked her up with a buddy of mine.

that reminds me of that line - "What's the difference between sex and meatloaf?"



"wanna have dinner?"

 

[suncloud]

i have another, that's so foul, i must leave this disclaimer first - i would never actually use this - i saw it on tshirthell.com



i eat more pussy than cervical cancer...



hopefully, this meets the "how to loose a girl in 20 words or less"

 

[Basketball23]

A guy sees a cute girl sitting at a park, and he goes up to her.

MAN: Hey you're really cute!!!
GIRL: ahaha thanks
MAN:Wanna go out for a pizza and a blowjob?
GIRL: f*ck you as*h*le!!!
MAN: What you dont like pizza??


ahahaa lol

 

[ShiftyCapone]

i have another, that's so foul, i must leave this disclaimer first - i would never actually use this - i saw it on tshirthell.com



i eat more pussy than cervical cancer...



hopefully, this meets the "how to loose a girl in 20 words or less"

Ouch... That one is pretty bad. Funny nonetheless...

 

[T-AD]

A guy sees a cute girl sitting at a park, and he goes up to her.

MAN: Hey you're really cute!!!
GIRL: ahaha thanks
MAN:Wanna go out for a pizza and a blowjob?
GIRL: f*ck you as*h*le!!!
MAN: What you dont like pizza??


ahahaa lol

Mmm...pizza..... :rofl:

[youtube]7jsrv1HuKZ4[/youtube]

 

[PaterSin]

Well one time at a pretty big party, a couple of friends got me to try out some crazy pick-up line we'd seen in a movie earlier. I was hammered, and so went for it. From across the room I motioned a pretty girl towards me with a finger. She smiled and walked over, and I said "Hey, if I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with five!" Honestly, the only time a chick has ever floored me : /

 

[seanf76]

here is the one i used

me: Partying this weekend
her: no
me: want to hang out
her: ok here is my number

i call the number has been disconnected at customer request

see her the next day at coffee shop
she asks kind of stern
her: how come you didnt call me
me: your numbers disconnected
her: oh i gave you the wrong number i just moved

well 13 years later we are married (9 years) with 2 kids

 

[FitnFirm]

bunch of pansy's up in here

 

[FitnFirm]

Scene: Lying in bed after a romantic evening.

Line: "I have aids"
Reaction: "I wish you told me that earlier...."

simple yet effective and guaranteed to ruin the night.

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

[ticco]

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

I thought about posting more but I figured quality over quantity, or something like that.

 

[T-AD]

bunch of pansy's up in here

just because you clubbed Jim over the head, drug him home by his hair (reason he's bald now) doesn't mean we're all as old fashioned as you!! :run:

j/k... Good to see ya, FnF. Anything to add in here? I know you've got some in that head of your's!!

 

[spres444]

?

usually anything i say when im drunk is considered a bad pickup line, but it usualy works..1 outta every 10 times haha

all time favorites are..

you are the most beautiful girl ive seen, tonight

wanna go halves on a baby?

so, you come here often?

 

[Orangepeel]

A guy sees a cute girl sitting at a park, and he goes up to her.

MAN: Hey you're really cute!!!
GIRL: ahaha thanks
MAN:Wanna go out for a pizza and a blowjob?
GIRL: f*ck you as*h*le!!!
MAN: What you dont like pizza??


ahahaa lol

I was gonna post that one, I used it at the beach when I was trashed - not so good results.

 

[suncloud]

i'm also partial to "can i lick your forehead"

 

[JOHNJESSICA20]

Motion with your finger for the girl to come visit you until she finally visits, then say:
"I knew if I fingered you long enough, you'd cum."

If she does'nt spit in your face or break your finger go onto the next part of ''How not to pick up a woman in a Bar''


Pickup line (Only @Bar):

"Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?"

General reaction :

After she pours her drink over your head, a couple of guys at the bar take you on a tour of the back alley.

I

 

[T-AD]

Last full day to get' em in, guys. Gimme some good ones!!

:djparty:

 

[lciaccio]

(with an Australian accent) What do you say we try a lil Australian kiss? Its just like a french kiss, but down under.



There must be a keg in your pants, because I want to tap that ass.



Lets play house, you be the screen door and i'll bang you all night long.



You have 206 bones right now, Want to have 207 tonight ?
(don't recommend this one)


Am I cute, or do you need another drink?
(this one will actually make girls laugh) not a bad one if i do say so myself

 

[T-AD]

You have 206 bones right now, Want to have 207 tonight ?
(don't recommend this one)

LMAO!! Insert AC/DC's "Givin the Dog a Bone" here... :wiggle:

 

[ticco]

*crossed fingers* cause im real poor...probably shouldn't have placed that order before valentines day.

 

[Johnny7]

bump for chicken and sex.

 

[suncloud]

i have a friend that works at Fed-Ex. i asked him to give me one of his work shirts, and went down to the embroidery place. the back of the shirt now says:


MY PACKAGE


YOUR PLACE


OVERNIGHT...




no takers as of yet

 

[PhysiqueFreak]

Doesnt work very well: "Sit on my face and I'll guess your weight."

This one was popular when I was in like 8th grade: "How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?"

My fav: "It's not going to suck itself."

 

[T-AD]

After much MUCH deliberation....the winners are:​

AXCITE ATTRACTION GUIDE:
BigFish80
BravoBoy
Johnjessica20


And the lucky SOB who gets the Roses:
Suncloud
-for bringing Hannibal Lecter over to meet the fam...:headache::tongue2:​

Gentlemen: Send me and e-mail ([email protected]) with your names and addresses. The Attraction Guide is an e-book, and we'll be in touch how to download it for free.

Suncloud - Get back to me ASAP with your addy and the name/addy of the one you want to send roses to! Hurry - only a few days left till V-day!!!!

If you didn't win, you can still get in on some AX-attraction this V-day. Simply visit www.axcitelp7.com and sign up for "The Score Sheet" - the AXcite newsletter full of tips, tricks, and hints on how to bag that beauty!! Everyone who signs up gets a free chapter of The Guide. Hurry!! Before someone else steals your lines!!! :run: :wiggle:

 

[RenegadeRows]

LOL!