AX's Valentine's Day Contest!! (Free Roses!!)

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  1. Quote Originally Posted by Basketball23 View Post
    A guy sees a cute girl sitting at a park, and he goes up to her.

    MAN: Hey you're really cute!!!
    GIRL: ahaha thanks
    MAN:Wanna go out for a pizza and a blowjob?
    GIRL: f*ck you as*h*le!!!
    MAN: What you dont like pizza??


    ahahaa lol
    Mmm...pizza.....

    [youtube]7jsrv1HuKZ4[/youtube]
    -RecoverBro Zombie Specialist and Paracord Wrangler
    -Independent due to lies that hurt my family. Loyal to myself and my Bro's.


  2. Well one time at a pretty big party, a couple of friends got me to try out some crazy pick-up line we'd seen in a movie earlier. I was hammered, and so went for it. From across the room I motioned a pretty girl towards me with a finger. She smiled and walked over, and I said "Hey, if I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with five!" Honestly, the only time a chick has ever floored me : /
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  3. here is the one i used

    me: Partying this weekend
    her: no
    me: want to hang out
    her: ok here is my number

    i call the number has been disconnected at customer request

    see her the next day at coffee shop
    she asks kind of stern
    her: how come you didnt call me
    me: your numbers disconnected
    her: oh i gave you the wrong number i just moved

    well 13 years later we are married (9 years) with 2 kids

  4. bunch of pansy's up in here

  5. Quote Originally Posted by ticco View Post
    Scene: Lying in bed after a romantic evening.

    Line: "I have aids"
    Reaction: "I wish you told me that earlier...."

    simple yet effective and guaranteed to ruin the night.


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  6. Quote Originally Posted by FitnFirm View Post
    I thought about posting more but I figured quality over quantity, or something like that.

  7. Quote Originally Posted by FitnFirm View Post
    bunch of pansy's up in here
    just because you clubbed Jim over the head, drug him home by his hair (reason he's bald now) doesn't mean we're all as old fashioned as you!!

    j/k... Good to see ya, FnF. Anything to add in here? I know you've got some in that head of your's!!
    -RecoverBro Zombie Specialist and Paracord Wrangler
    -Independent due to lies that hurt my family. Loyal to myself and my Bro's.

  8. ?

    usually anything i say when im drunk is considered a bad pickup line, but it usualy works..1 outta every 10 times haha

    all time favorites are..

    you are the most beautiful girl ive seen, tonight

    wanna go halves on a baby?

    so, you come here often?

  9. Quote Originally Posted by Basketball23 View Post
    A guy sees a cute girl sitting at a park, and he goes up to her.

    MAN: Hey you're really cute!!!
    GIRL: ahaha thanks
    MAN:Wanna go out for a pizza and a blowjob?
    GIRL: f*ck you as*h*le!!!
    MAN: What you dont like pizza??


    ahahaa lol
    I was gonna post that one, I used it at the beach when I was trashed - not so good results.

  10. i'm also partial to "can i lick your forehead"

  11. Motion with your finger for the girl to come visit you until she finally visits, then say:
    "I knew if I fingered you long enough, you'd cum."

    If she does'nt spit in your face or break your finger go onto the next part of ''How not to pick up a woman in a Bar''


    Pickup line (Only @Bar):

    "Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?"

    General reaction :

    After she pours her drink over your head, a couple of guys at the bar take you on a tour of the back alley.

    I

  12. Last full day to get' em in, guys. Gimme some good ones!!

    -RecoverBro Zombie Specialist and Paracord Wrangler
    -Independent due to lies that hurt my family. Loyal to myself and my Bro's.

  13. (with an Australian accent) What do you say we try a lil Australian kiss? Its just like a french kiss, but down under.



    There must be a keg in your pants, because I want to tap that ass.



    Lets play house, you be the screen door and i'll bang you all night long.



    You have 206 bones right now, Want to have 207 tonight ?
    (don't recommend this one)


    Am I cute, or do you need another drink?
    (this one will actually make girls laugh) not a bad one if i do say so myself

  14. Quote Originally Posted by lciaccio View Post
    You have 206 bones right now, Want to have 207 tonight ?
    (don't recommend this one)
    LMAO!! Insert AC/DC's "Givin the Dog a Bone" here...
    -RecoverBro Zombie Specialist and Paracord Wrangler
    -Independent due to lies that hurt my family. Loyal to myself and my Bro's.

  15. *crossed fingers* cause im real poor...probably shouldn't have placed that order before valentines day.

  16. bump for chicken and sex.

  17. i have a friend that works at Fed-Ex. i asked him to give me one of his work shirts, and went down to the embroidery place. the back of the shirt now says:


    MY PACKAGE


    YOUR PLACE


    OVERNIGHT...




    no takers as of yet

  18. Doesnt work very well: "Sit on my face and I'll guess your weight."

    This one was popular when I was in like 8th grade: "How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?"

    My fav: "It's not going to suck itself."

  19. After much MUCH deliberation....the winners are:




    AXCITE ATTRACTION GUIDE:
    BigFish80
    BravoBoy
    Johnjessica20



    And the lucky SOB who gets the Roses:
    Suncloud
    -for bringing Hannibal Lecter over to meet the fam...


    Gentlemen: Send me and e-mail ([email protected]) with your names and addresses. The Attraction Guide is an e-book, and we'll be in touch how to download it for free.

    Suncloud - Get back to me ASAP with your addy and the name/addy of the one you want to send roses to! Hurry - only a few days left till V-day!!!!


    If you didn't win, you can still get in on some AX-attraction this V-day. Simply visit www.axcitelp7.com and sign up for "The Score Sheet" - the AXcite newsletter full of tips, tricks, and hints on how to bag that beauty!! Everyone who signs up gets a free chapter of The Guide. Hurry!! Before someone else steals your lines!!!
    -RecoverBro Zombie Specialist and Paracord Wrangler
    -Independent due to lies that hurt my family. Loyal to myself and my Bro's.

  20. 1)If your at a bar you can always say "Can I push your 'stool' in for you?" some will get this..
    2)You can say "Let me dust your seat off for you.." Then tilt your head back and brush your chin off.

  21. My perfect evening gone wrong involves oral sex, so I'm not sure if it would be appropriate to post.. ? lol

  22. I went up to a good looking girl at a party one time and I told her "you look like I need another drink". She actually thought it was funny and she's one of my closest female friends now.

  23. Excuse me, may I stand here? Because I just farted over there.
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