Spurfyís Fasting Log

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  1. Quote Originally Posted by Spurfy View Post
    Day 5: (3/5)

    Dinner: 1 lb bone in ribeye, three eggs

    Mono symptoms are much improved, other than some lingering fatigue. I think going low-cal and low-carb have frozen EBV replication, and I didnít take any prednisone today. Disc pain is also significantly reduced. Iíll probably have to take a replacement dose (5 mg) of prednisone tomorrow since Iím almost certainly adrenal suppressed.

    Mood is still garbage. Dreams are still haunting me. Outlook is still hopeless. Contempt and disdain for humanity is still ever-present. But at least that f*cking awful, evil little virus is seemingly getting crushed.

    Tonight Iím taking 25 mg of promethazine before bed, hopefully this spares me from nocturnal psychic torture. If nothing else, tomorrow the lingering anticholinergic effects should make me too stupid to be abjectly morose.

    I did get a voicemail today from my son saying ďDada, I love you. Bye bye Dada.Ē It was a good reminder why Iím doing this. I have given up on myself for my own sake, this is the honest truth, but for whatever reason that little boy adores me and thatís reason enough to keep pushing forward. Hating myself is hating his very favorite person and ultimately hurting him.
    Selflessness is a most honorable trait a man can struggle to develop. My kids are also my source of motivation. Gotta have something bigger than yourself. I commend you for this perspective


  2. (3/5)

    Developed acute akasthesia (oops) from the promethazine — recognized symptoms immediately. Akasthesia is *extremely unpleasant* and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It’s hard to describe, but if I had to I’d describe it at the complete opposite of an orgasm.

    Treated the akasthesia with a 21 mg nicotine patch, 10 mg of selegiline, 2 mg clonazepam and 200 mg of l-dopa, which worked very well (and pretty quickly) but as would be expected, this combination absolutely wrecked my sleep.

    On the plus side, light sleep meant that my dreams were nonsense and unremarkable.

    Woke up today with an improved mood in spite of feeling like I’d been hit by a bus.

    I’ve been very cold and unable to adequately maintain body temp in spite of the warmer weather so I’ve started 100 mcg/day T4, which I will terminate a week before my water fasting begins.
    Due to the large number of private messages I'm receiving asking about this: Yes I do offer online coaching services. PM me for details.
    •   
       


  3. Quote Originally Posted by Spurfy View Post
    (3/5)

    Developed acute akasthesia (oops) from the promethazine ó recognized symptoms immediately. Akasthesia is *extremely unpleasant* and I wouldnít wish it on anyone. Itís hard to describe, but if I had to Iíd describe it at the complete opposite of an orgasm.

    Treated the akasthesia with a 21 mg nicotine patch, 10 mg of selegiline, 2 mg clonazepam and 200 mg of l-dopa, which worked very well (and pretty quickly) but as would be expected, this combination absolutely wrecked my sleep.

    On the plus side, light sleep meant that my dreams were nonsense and unremarkable.

    Woke up today with an improved mood in spite of feeling like Iíd been hit by a bus.

    Iíve been very cold and unable to adequately maintain body temp in spite of the warmer weather so Iíve started 100 mcg/day T4, which I will terminate a week before my water fasting begins.
    Obviously you know what youíre doing, but at which point do you taper the external inputs and work to obtain homeostasis? Or is that what youíre using these tools to minimize pains on the path to homeostasis?

  4. Quote Originally Posted by Spurfy View Post
    (3/5)

    Developed acute akasthesia (oops) from the promethazine — recognized symptoms immediately. Akasthesia is *extremely unpleasant* and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It’s hard to describe, but if I had to I’d describe it at the complete opposite of an orgasm.

    Treated the akasthesia with a 21 mg nicotine patch, 10 mg of selegiline, 2 mg clonazepam and 200 mg of l-dopa, which worked very well (and pretty quickly) but as would be expected, this combination absolutely wrecked my sleep.

    On the plus side, light sleep meant that my dreams were nonsense and unremarkable.

    Woke up today with an improved mood in spite of feeling like I’d been hit by a bus.

    I’ve been very cold and unable to adequately maintain body temp in spite of the warmer weather so I’ve started 100 mcg/day T4, which I will terminate a week before my water fasting begins.
    Man, that looks like way too many meds to get, well, off the meds. Hopefully you can pull that off. For now it looks, for a bystander, like putting out fire with gasoline
    I am hairy all over, like the crotch of a menopausal hippie woman.

  5. Quote Originally Posted by THOR 70 View Post
    Obviously you know what you’re doing, but at which point do you taper the external inputs and work to obtain homeostasis? Or is that what you’re using these tools to minimize pains on the path to homeostasis?
    Treating the akasthesia was the right choice. If I had let it run it very well probably would have induced a psychotic state. Akasthesia in someone already experiencing a mental health crisis is a psychiatric emergency.

    And I get what you’re saying, but not substituting drugs for more drugs. I’m completely off opioids at this point (thank you tianeptine) and on a minimal dose of prednisone, which will be completely withdrawn by weeks’ end.

    The promethazine was to try and sleep without dream torture, but in retrospect suppressing my dreams is suppressing emotion that needs to be addressed and as unpleasant as the dreams are, they need to happen. Lesson learned.

    The T4 is somewhat of a necessity at this point — my basal temp has been around 96į. Without adequate thyroid hormone levels and with a current EBV infection, my immune system will be taking a massive hit.

    I’m trying to make the transition to water fasting as gentle as possible, and if this involves judicious use of other drugs to ease that transition then that’s what I’ll do. The end result is all that matters to me.
    Due to the large number of private messages I'm receiving asking about this: Yes I do offer online coaching services. PM me for details.
    •   
       


  6. Quote Originally Posted by Spurfy View Post
    Treating the akasthesia was the right choice. If I had let it run it very well probably would have induced a psychotic state. Akasthesia in someone already experiencing a mental health crisis is a psychiatric emergency.

    And I get what you’re saying, but not substituting drugs for more drugs. I’m completely off opioids at this point (thank you tianeptine) and on a minimal dose of prednisone, which will be completely withdrawn by weeks’ end.

    The promethazine was to try and sleep without dream torture, but in retrospect suppressing my dreams is suppressing emotion that needs to be addressed and as unpleasant as the dreams are, they need to happen. Lesson learned.

    The T4 is somewhat of a necessity at this point — my basal temp has been around 96į. Without adequate thyroid hormone levels and with a current EBV infection, my immune system will be taking a massive hit.

    I’m trying to make the transition to water fasting as gentle as possible, and if this involves judicious use of other drugs to ease that transition then that’s what I’ll do. The end result is all that matters to me.
    Do what you have to do -but get better. Go-go-go!
    I am hairy all over, like the crotch of a menopausal hippie woman.

  7. The fact that I developed akasthesia from promethazine, which is a somewhat rare side effect, coupled with the fact that taking multiple dopaminergics not only stopped the akasthesia but actually put me in a pretty good mood today, leads me to believe that my present mental health state may be largely due to inadequate dopamine signaling.

    Today I am literally not depressed. At all. Just tired and stiff and sore.

    The “chemical imbalance” theory of depression is mostly true but very much misunderstood. Psychological stress creates the imbalance which further reduces coping ability and a downward spiral where reduced coping causes more stress which creates more imbalance. In other words, the chemical imbalance is not the initial cause of the depression, it’s a function of it, but which if left unchecked, becomes a co-contributer.
    Due to the large number of private messages I'm receiving asking about this: Yes I do offer online coaching services. PM me for details.

  8. So regarding fasting and steroids, I had a IM shot of Kenalog 40mg & delo-Medrol 80mg on the second day of my 5 day water fast. I noticed the fast was extremely easy. From your previous comments, did I inhibit autophagy due to adrenal suppression of cortisol? Im dealing with autoimmune stuff and was hoping that I could drastically drop my systemic inflammation as my CRP was 5.9 on that Monday. Unfortunately the fast didnít seem to do aaa much as I hoped for my pain, inflammation, and healing. Any input is appreciated. I want to fast more but half life of kenalog is 30+ days I believe.

    Dude thatís awesome you mood feels better. Must feel good to use you knowledge to make a step in the right direction. Keep it up!

  9. Quote Originally Posted by Spurfy View Post
    The fact that I developed akasthesia from promethazine, which is a somewhat rare side effect, coupled with the fact that taking multiple dopaminergics not only stopped the akasthesia but actually put me in a pretty good mood today, leads me to believe that my present mental health state may be largely due to inadequate dopamine signaling.

    Today I am literally not depressed. At all. Just tired and stiff and sore.

    The ďchemical imbalanceĒ theory of depression is mostly true but very much misunderstood. Psychological stress creates the imbalance which further reduces coping ability and a downward spiral where reduced coping causes more stress which creates more imbalance. In other words, the chemical imbalance is not the initial cause of the depression, itís a function of it, but which if left unchecked, becomes a co-contributer.
    Yiu are quitting opiods...your mental.health state is definitively greatly effected by lack of dopamine. Your body needs to learn how to produce it again. Is there any way you can get someone like a mental health "spotter" to keep you safe through your withdrawals? Cuz this is a very heavy "lift" you are doing right now. Don't do this alone if you have options.

    As far as the chemical imbalance of depression, everything we think and feel has momentum. Every time we think or feel something it builds that connection. Right now you have pruned all your good feeling connectiins other than opioids and you need to find things in the physical, not chemical world, to start making a new path and build that connection until it flows freely. When there is no path, you must MAKE a path. And its going to be a lot of work blazing a path through that jungle, but just keep swingin that machete!

    You have to try to entertain yourself, whatever that may be. Research, lifting(if you can), movies, games, music. Hell, do some **** youd never do. Go go carting, or to an amusement park. Switch it up. A lot of cues are environmental. Change the environment, change the cues.


    Also, do "wim hof method" breathing amd then hold your breath in in the last of the 30 breaths (last part is a slight variation). Make sure you are seated not driving or anything. I know it sounds stupid, but it will blow your mind how doing this a few rounds can calm you. The guy wim hof claims he can control his autonomic nervous system. I believe it is true. Theres a path to build. Id also love to hear your opinion on any. He started cold exposure in ice water and claimed it was the only thing that could rip him from his depression after his wifes death. I also believe in that very much after practicing it over a year or so now.

    Good luck and keep it up!

  10. Quote Originally Posted by THOR 70 View Post
    So regarding fasting and steroids, I had a IM shot of Kenalog 40mg & delo-Medrol 80mg on the second day of my 5 day water fast. I noticed the fast was extremely easy. From your previous comments, did I inhibit autophagy due to adrenal suppression of cortisol? Im dealing with autoimmune stuff and was hoping that I could drastically drop my systemic inflammation as my CRP was 5.9 on that Monday. Unfortunately the fast didn’t seem to do aaa much as I hoped for my pain, inflammation, and healing. Any input is appreciated. I want to fast more but half life of kenalog is 30+ days I believe.

    Dude that’s awesome you mood feels better. Must feel good to use you knowledge to make a step in the right direction. Keep it up!
    In my opinion:

    1. The steroid injection probably increased autophagy

    2. Your fast was too short. 10 days is the sweet spot for inflammation and widespread healing and should be considered a minimum when trying to overcome serious physical ailments.
    Due to the large number of private messages I'm receiving asking about this: Yes I do offer online coaching services. PM me for details.

  11. Quote Originally Posted by Fasted View Post
    Yiu are quitting opiods...your mental.health state is definitively greatly effected by lack of dopamine. Your body needs to learn how to produce it again. Is there any way you can get someone like a mental health "spotter" to keep you safe through your withdrawals? Cuz this is a very heavy "lift" you are doing right now. Don't do this alone if you have options.
    I don’t get what you get from people. People don’t support or inspire me, instead they try and fix me, not the psychological problems, but *me*, at my core, because the fact that they cannot relate to me with both an absurdly high intellect and Asperger’s is somehow *my* malfunction. I really have no use for friends any more at this stage in my life. I’ve never really relied on anyone but myself anyway, so this isn’t a new path I’m blazing.

    I don’t understand your (ie, the general, non-Aspie) kind, I’m just really really really good at making you think I do so that things aren’t constantly awkward. And when I ask how things have been for you and what you’ve been up to rest assured I’m daydreaming or pondering research the entire time you think I’m listening, with perfectly timed “Mmm hmm” and “Oh! Really!”, and perfect eye contact and body language, all the while making sure a small part of me is keying in on specific words so that later I can ask follow-up questions that will make you feel listened to and validated, even though I really did not pay attention at all to the incredibly boring and tedious drivel that you thought I would actually want to hear, and really could not care less about your problems with your daughter’s boyfriend and that your boss talks about you behind your back, problems that literally everyone has. Try being an alien on this planet where you can never be yourself, then we can talk about what real, overwhelming, insurmountable problems are like...

    I have to literally get into human character to have a conversation and I’m terribly lonely even in a sea of “friends”

    As far as the chemical imbalance of depression, everything we think and feel has momentum. Every time we think or feel something it builds that connection. Right now you have pruned all your good feeling connectiins other than opioids and you need to find things in the physical, not chemical world, to start making a new path and build that connection until it flows freely. When there is no path, you must MAKE a path. And its going to be a lot of work blazing a path through that jungle, but just keep swingin that machete!

    You have to try to entertain yourself, whatever that may be. Research, lifting(if you can), movies, games, music. Hell, do some **** youd never do. Go go carting, or to an amusement park. Switch it up. A lot of cues are environmental. Change the environment, change the cues.


    Also, do "wim hof method" breathing amd then hold your breath in in the last of the 30 breaths (last part is a slight variation). Make sure you are seated not driving or anything. I know it sounds stupid, but it will blow your mind how doing this a few rounds can calm you. The guy wim hof claims he can control his autonomic nervous system. I believe it is true. Theres a path to build. Id also love to hear your opinion on any. He started cold exposure in ice water and claimed it was the only thing that could rip him from his depression after his wifes death. I also believe in that very much after practicing it over a year or so now.

    Good luck and keep it up!
    I carefully read this and have taken a number of your points to heart. Fact is, I’ve been numbing myself in one way or another since my separation/divorce — alcohol, drugs, lifting, tons of risky sex, cycling — because I miss my son constantly and feel like if I don’t keep this suppressed most of the time I will simply not be able to function.

    I’ll give the breathing a shot.
    Due to the large number of private messages I'm receiving asking about this: Yes I do offer online coaching services. PM me for details.

  12. Quote Originally Posted by Spurfy View Post
    In my opinion:

    1. The steroid injection probably increased autophagy

    2. Your fast was too short. 10 days is the sweet spot for inflammation and widespread healing and should be considered a minimum when trying to overcome serious physical ailments.
    Welp. 10+ day fast then it is haha.

    Can you explain the increases autophagy/steroid moa?

    Have you considered high dose niacin for your mental? I took a gram of it then did 30 min dry sauna and felt quite nice. Took some diatomaceous earth right after to mop up any toxins released.

    Iíd love to work with you one on one when you have the space and energy. Might help you with some of your finances too.

    PM me when youíre available.
  13. Spurfyís Fasting Log


    Quote Originally Posted by Spurfy View Post
    I donít get what you get from people. People donít support or inspire me, instead they try and fix me, not the psychological problems, but *me*, at my core, because the fact that they cannot relate to me with both an absurdly high intellect and Aspergerís is somehow *my* malfunction. I really have no use for friends any more at this stage in my life. Iíve never really relied on anyone but myself anyway, so this isnít a new path Iím blazing.

    I donít understand your (ie, the general, non-Aspie) kind, Iím just really really really good at making you think I do so that things arenít constantly awkward. And when I ask how things have been for you and what youíve been up to rest assured Iím daydreaming or pondering research the entire time you think Iím listening, with perfectly timed ďMmm hmmĒ and ďOh! Really!Ē, and perfect eye contact and body language, all the while making sure a small part of me is keying in on specific words so that later I can ask follow-up questions that will make you feel listened to and validated, even though I really did not pay attention at all to the incredibly boring and tedious drivel that you thought I would actually want to hear, and really could not care less about your problems with your daughterís boyfriend and that your boss talks about you behind your back, problems that literally everyone has. Try being an alien on this planet where you can never be yourself, then we can talk about what real, overwhelming, insurmountable problems are like...

    I have to literally get into human character to have a conversation.



    I carefully read this and have taken a number of your points to heart. Fact is, Iíve been numbing myself in one way or another since my separation/divorce ó alcohol, drugs, lifting, tons of risky sex, cycling ó because I miss my son constantly and feel like if I donít keep this suppressed most of the time I will simply not be able to function.

    Iíll give the breathing a shot.
    I think youíre a bit too hard on yourself. I have to do a lot of the same **** for my job and itís exhausting honestly trying to care. You just need time, and a few true friends that donít care if you make them feel like you donít care all the time.

  14. Quote Originally Posted by THOR 70 View Post
    Welp. 10+ day fast then it is haha.

    Can you explain the increases autophagy/steroid moa?
    The increase in cortisol from fasting is what directly causes the autophagy. GH is there to protect all essential cells and tissues while cortisol is busy doing what it does — breaking sh-t down.

    Have you considered high dose niacin for your mental? I took a gram of it then did 30 min dry sauna and felt quite nice. Took some diatomaceous earth right after to mop up any toxins released.
    I cannot handle the flush. I get severe GI symptoms and panic. I have a disturbance of 5HT metabolism which probably causes me to have high niacin levels already.

    I’d love to work with you one on one when you have the space and energy. Might help you with some of your finances too.
    I will be a new man by April 1. Count on it.

    PM me when you’re available.
    PM me 4/1 — I’m a scatterbrained Aspie. I may not even remember this conversation.
    Due to the large number of private messages I'm receiving asking about this: Yes I do offer online coaching services. PM me for details.

  15. Quote Originally Posted by THOR 70 View Post
    I think you’re a bit too hard on yourself. I have to do a lot of the same **** for my job and it’s exhausting honestly trying to care. You just need time, and a few true friends that don’t care if you make them feel like you don’t care all the time.
    Honestly, I just need a cute, brilliant, fit Aspie girl. She can be as weird as she needs and I’ll do the same, and we’ll never have to worry about one of us trying to change the other.
    Due to the large number of private messages I'm receiving asking about this: Yes I do offer online coaching services. PM me for details.

  16. (3/6)

    Dinner: 18 oz ribeye, mixed baby greens, 1 orange, 1 banana

    Dry fasted most of the day. Considering fasting until Friday after sundown and dry fasting during daylight hours.

    Took a walk today in the rain, felt nice to get out but calf muscle began cramping badly on the hills, hence the high potassium fruits at dinner.
    Due to the large number of private messages I'm receiving asking about this: Yes I do offer online coaching services. PM me for details.

  17. Quote Originally Posted by Spurfy View Post
    (3/6)

    Dinner: 18 oz ribeye, mixed baby greens, 1 orange, 1 banana

    Dry fasted most of the day. Considering fasting until Friday after sundown and dry fasting during daylight hours.

    Took a walk today in the rain, felt nice to get out but calf muscle began cramping badly on the hills, hence the high potassium fruits at dinner.
    You ever considered breath work whilst out walking? Supposed to do wonders for ones mental state and peace of mind.... someone mentioned wim hof earlier in this thread and breath work plus exposure to cold had a radical effect on his life (plus the cold exposure is supposedly extremely beneficial to the body).

    Personally I’m just about managing 30s cold shower and 10 mins of mediation so miles away from knowing my sh1t on this but I’ve heard many positives from many people smarter than me.....

    Something to consider anyway

  18. (3/7)

    Dinner: 18 oz bone-in ribeye and an orange.

    Weight loss is apparent. Everything is loose. I’ll weigh in on the 21st on my first day of water fasting. Decided to fast until I’m absolutely shredded and true hunger returns. Go big, right?

    I find I get a lot of inspiration when I don’t eat. I’m developing a topical fat loss compound that should be very potent, much better even than my previous iteration, but that I’ll never try to bring to market — just use on clients.

    Walked about 5 miles today, enjoyed none of it — cold, windy and damp — but getting fresh air is important. I much prefer the rain, actually I’ll never complain about it, but piles more snow on the way. Luckily it melts fast here.

    Walking around downtown and the college I am loathe to run into anyone I know. I’d prefer a vicious stray dog — at least I have an ASP for that.

    Academia sucks and I’m glad to be out of it. Walking around the college reminds me how much I hate the beauracracy of it all and how good research is constantly stymied by bean counters and risk management nerds. If I had gotten my way, I’d be running a large scale cancer study using fasting right now on end-stage metastatic patients.
    Due to the large number of private messages I'm receiving asking about this: Yes I do offer online coaching services. PM me for details.

  19. Quote Originally Posted by Spurfy View Post
    (3/7)

    Dinner: 18 oz bone-in ribeye and an orange.

    Weight loss is apparent. Everything is loose. Iíll weigh in on the 21st on my first day of water fasting. Decided to fast until Iím absolutely shredded and true hunger returns. Go big, right?

    I find I get a lot of inspiration when I donít eat. Iím developing a topical fat loss compound that should be very potent, much better even than my previous iteration, but that Iíll never try to bring to market ó just use on clients.

    Walked about 5 miles today, enjoyed none of it ó cold, windy and damp ó but getting fresh air is important. I much prefer the rain, actually Iíll never complain about it, but piles more snow on the way. Luckily it melts fast here.

    Walking around downtown and the college I am loathe to run into anyone I know. Iíd prefer a vicious stray dog ó at least I have an ASP for that.

    Academia sucks and Iím glad to be out of it. Walking around the college reminds me how much I hate the beauracracy of it all and how good research is constantly stymied by bean counters and risk management nerds. If I had gotten my way, Iíd be running a large scale cancer study using fasting right now on end-stage metastatic patients.
    Nice work bro! Your reflection tonight is more positive that previous posts. Day 1/10 fasting done for me.

    What are your thoughts on using a sauna during an extended fast? Iím keeping my trace minerals and electrolytes up. Also, anything clinically proven to increase autophagy during a fast? Thinking about doing a dry day or two mixed in

  20. Quote Originally Posted by THOR 70 View Post
    Nice work bro! Your reflection tonight is more positive that previous posts. Day 1/10 fasting done for me.
    Thanks. Mood is slowly improving. I would say I’ve replaced depression with apathy, which is fine by me.

    What are your thoughts on using a sauna during an extended fast?
    It’s superb as long as you...

    I’m keeping my trace minerals and electrolytes up.
    ...and don’t overhydrate. Only small sips when you’re thirsty.

    I like to apply “magnesium oil” all over my body several times during a long dry sauna. Definitely improves stamina and really pushes the relaxation to the next level.

    Also, anything clinically proven to increase autophagy during a fast? Thinking about doing a dry day or two mixed in
    Clinically proven? Not really...

    Dry fasting, light (below lactate threshold) exercise, sunbathing or UV-B tanning beds. Corticosteroids, obviously. Anything that increases free radicals won’t increase autophagy but will increase apoptosis to a net positive effect. Mild stressors.

    Sauna should cause a massive acute spike in autophagy due to sharp increase in metabolic rate.

    My disc pain is nearly gone, btw.
    Due to the large number of private messages I'm receiving asking about this: Yes I do offer online coaching services. PM me for details.

  21. Quote Originally Posted by Spurfy View Post
    Thanks. Mood is slowly improving. I would say Iíve replaced depression with apathy, which is fine by me.



    Itís superb as long as you...



    ...and donít overhydrate. Only small sips when youíre thirsty.

    I like to apply ďmagnesium oilĒ all over my body several times during a long dry sauna. Definitely improves stamina and really pushes the relaxation to the next level.



    Clinically proven? Not really...

    Dry fasting, light (below lactate threshold) exercise, sunbathing or UV-B tanning beds. Corticosteroids, obviously. Anything that increases free radicals wonít increase autophagy but will increase apoptosis to a net positive effect. Mild stressors.

    Sauna should cause a massive acute spike in autophagy due to sharp increase in metabolic rate.

    My disc pain is nearly gone, btw.
    Awesome suggestions. If I donít keep magnesium up I noticed my legs get achy and uncomfortable after sauna. I used to use magnesium oil and got away from it when it ran out. Great call on this, Iíll have to get some more and try that.


    Glad your mood is improving as back pain diminishing. Keep at it! We are rooting for you

  22. Quote Originally Posted by Fasted View Post
    Yiu are quitting opiods...your mental.health state is definitively greatly effected by lack of dopamine. Your body needs to learn how to produce it again. Is there any way you can get someone like a mental health "spotter" to keep you safe through your withdrawals? Cuz this is a very heavy "lift" you are doing right now. Don't do this alone if you have options.
    Thought about this a lot and apologized to my good friend who I “broke up with” — he was completely cool about it and said he’s 100% behind me.

    You’re right. This would be more manageable with the support of a friend and it was a mistake to slash and burn. I only somewhat regret cutting off my brother, but honestly I think it’s been a relief for him.

    As f we think and we think or feel something it builds that connection. Right now you have pruned all your good feeling connectiins other than opioids and you need to find things in the physical, not chemical world, to start making a new path and build that connection until it flows freely. When there is no path, you must MAKE a path. And its going to be a lot of work blazing a path through that jungle, but just keep swingin that machete!
    Been thinking about this a lot too. It’s not a new idea to me, but it’s one that I frequently disregard in favor of blaming circumstances. But the biggest barrier for me is that I miss my son constantly — I have no idea how to think my way around that. All I do is merely survive until the next time I get to see him and feel alive once again. This is not a problem that’s going away any time soon, and I literally have no idea how to solve it.
    Due to the large number of private messages I'm receiving asking about this: Yes I do offer online coaching services. PM me for details.

  23. Quote Originally Posted by Spurfy View Post
    Thought about this a lot and apologized to my good friend who I ďbroke up withĒ ó he was completely cool about it and said heís 100% behind me.

    Youíre right. This would be more manageable with the support of a friend and it was a mistake to slash and burn. I only somewhat regret cutting off my brother, but honestly I think itís been a relief for him.



    Been thinking about this a lot too. Itís not a new idea to me, but itís one that I frequently disregard in favor of blaming circumstances. But the biggest barrier for me is that I miss my son constantly ó I have no idea how to think my way around that. All I do is merely survive until the next time I get to see him and feel alive once again. This is not a problem thatís going away any time soon, and I literally have no idea how to solve it.
    I got a sister who is not always very easy to deal with. We are so different we can barely communicate. She drives me nuts and i piss her off...and i love her to death! Thats what siblings are. Im sure you and your brother have had plenty of arguments, but he still loves you even if he'll never understand you.

    The ice will take your mind off almost anything, but thats just a few minutes. When you do the things it takes to control your breathing and relax your muscles in the ice you are practicing controlling your autonomic nervous system and mind in a way that i dont really know how else youd excersize those things. It sucks to do, but afterwards you feel GREAT. And thats ohysical and mental. You spoke of disk pain, Id love to hear the difference a 2 minute FULL BODY ice bath makes in the next 48 hours for your pain.

    As far as what you are going through with your son, im just sorry. My liftin bro's baby mama moved out of state so he couldnt see his kids. He wanted to be a good father. She just wanted the check. Damn shame fathers who want to be there cant. Dont let it make you crazy. Now that i think about it, there should be some form of support group for that kinda thing.

    Anyways, its impossible to NOT think about somethimg, but its possible to get focused on something else. Write that book! Get in some ice! Watch some porn! Call your bro! You got this, and youve been killing it so far! Youll feel that downhill slope soon enough.

    *hope im not annoying you. Just trying to give you as many possible things i can think of...
  24. Spurfyís Fasting Log


    Spurfy how has today been?

    I thought this was interesting and might shed some light as to some of the mechanism behind the magical 10 day mark. It looks as if gluconeogenesus plateaus around day 10. Is this the point at which autophagy really targets damaged dna and starts to knock out the root of disease? Forgive my non scientific oversimplification/speculation of this I just love to learn

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  25. (3/9)

    Got really high (weed) with one of my few friends in the afternoon and ate pizza, ice cream, cheesy poofs, and a bunch of other stuff while we watched old Simpsons episodes for hours. Fell asleep at 2:00 AM with a belly full of Frito pie.

    I regret nothing, but time to get back on track.

    Muscles look and feel awesome today, btw.
    Due to the large number of private messages I'm receiving asking about this: Yes I do offer online coaching services. PM me for details.
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