- 02-11-2019, 03:23 AM
Today was one of the worst days I have ever had. I need some guidance. I was totally in the wrong.
Me and my ex girl were in a long distance relationship everything was perfect. She is just like me in so many ways. M&M ...I know so much about her and she knows so much about me.
This is were I funked up I was nit picking at every little ****ing thing the last couple days acting like a beta douche..and becuase i am 2 hours away I feel it's hard to communicate especially since she is used to shutting people out without talking about it. Her ex was very very abusive and manipulative and even harmed her in multiple ways. So I can see her concern. I yelled over the phone after being cut off and yelled at while she was crying. I regret everything and yelling. But I understand why she got upset she just doesn't want to go thru the same ish as she did with her ex. Which I know I'm not like that at all I'm actually a good guy and she knows it. I just don't like being cut off like that with no respect to talk about it over the phone. So I called and called trying to get a hold of her. Excessive amounts becuase she never answered not once.
THE TRUTH--my Camaro is all damaged and messed up it has over 160k miles and needs some work. Not sure if it would make it there but I never told her this she just thinks I never make the effort to see her. And it made me Insecure to think about someone else giving her their time. Even though I know for a fact she is not like that but my head is crazy in the way my thought process is. I wish there was a way I could explain this to her. I'm forever broken. I wish I would of been honest about the car in the first place. I never wanted her to feel unloved or under appreciated. SHE LITERALLY IS EVERYTHING TO ME. And I would give her my all if she needed. If she needed 50k. I would give it to her. Even if that was all I had left. Even now.
I don't have really anyone to talk to as she was my one to talk to. And this other girl that hits me up has a bf so I'm not trying to go down that route again. I know I should move on and stop being a beta. But it's not the break up that bothers me. It's the fact that I know if we spent time together in person and physically connected we would have been perfect and amazing. I'm telling you guys I never knew I could love again until I met this girl. I been single for 6 years after a horrible relationship. So I wanted to try something new. Like all those other relationships I didn't give a dam and didn't want to be in but this girl I just want to squeeze with all my might and tell her that everything will be ok as promised. I stopped drugs smoking cigarettes and even drinking for this amazing person. I never even looked at another girl. And that's saying a lot especially for me. I'm used to being around nothing but women. It's almost Valentine's day and this sucks so bad like I feel empty.
It's not hard for me to get women at all it's easy for me but I don't want to be that guy no more and these women are so slutty and untrustworthy now adays. I know she was 100 with me every second. Like I never had that. Can someone please slap me into reality. I know I'll be alright but as of now I'm freaking broken like I have no anger I'm just empty. Not sure if depressed or what this is. This is worse then being in a cage. Do you guys think k there is any hope. I'm going to seek therapy still but I don't know what else to do to show her that I'm willing to change. I have a feeling she's thinking like dam she dodged another bullet. But I'm just mad I didn't get a chance to show her how I am in real life how we would connect. Maybe it's better this way becuase we would have been hooked to each other we already were hooked but I get afraid and push away the people I love. I admit it and this is exactly what happened. She did nothing wrong I had to literally make **** up just to push her away and then I'd regret it and want her back. I am glad I was able to love again that was a good feeling. It just hurts that I'm not loved by her anymore. My heart is literally broken. I never been thru a heart break like this. But I think it's becuase I usually have my friends and people to turn to so I never really get into the chicks I'm with but this girl I gave all my time to because I haven't hung with anyone else. Maybe that was my mistake. Thank you redditers for listening.
- 02-11-2019, 06:06 AM
I mean if you really hate your balls, go for it. But, what did they do to you?
02-11-2019, 06:27 AM
02-11-2019, 08:17 AM
02-11-2019, 10:42 AM
02-11-2019, 11:13 AM
Could it be he is back?
I mean if you really hate your balls, go for it. But, what did they do to you?
02-11-2019, 11:50 AM
02-11-2019, 02:40 PM
02-12-2019, 12:54 PM
02-12-2019, 01:03 PM
Your second paragraph, paired with you mentioning “M&M” reminds me of Eminem’s song Stan.
And two hours away is long distance? Is that two hours by plane?
I know you can’t make it there regularly in an old car, but you couldn’t get an Uber or something once a month? Or public transportation? Or she doesn’t have a car?
If I can be very blunt, it sounds like neither of you really wanted to put the effort in to make it work.
She also didn’t do “nothing wrong.” If all you did was raise your voice and she ghosted you, then she’s letting her past negative experiences rule her life and relationship in the present.
But either way, and I learned this from a long distance relationship (Florida to Canada lol); if you think you can’t live without someone, you’re not ready for someone. Only when you realize that you don’t need anyone to be happy and find meaning are you ready to have someone. That way you can enjoy them, but not to possess them. Realize they make you happy, but that you can survive and still be happy without them. When you are self sufficient, you can enjoy the moment, and enjoy your partner, but not spend every moment in fear that you may lose them and then be completely lost. It’s easier said than done though for sure.
I’d recommend reading Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations snd Epictetus’ Discourses. They’re great books that can help you realize what is needed for happiness, and how to be self sufficient, but still able to enjoy things without trying to possess them when they’re out of your control.
02-12-2019, 01:07 PM
I'm with sending the first post to her.
Girls need to hear it sometimes.
1 gram of test is a great idea too.
02-12-2019, 01:22 PM
Go look up RobertFrank615’s latest Valentines Day video on IG if you want a laugh and some advice too.
02-12-2019, 01:33 PM
02-12-2019, 02:36 PM
02-12-2019, 02:56 PM
I disagree with most on here. She sounds abusive. I don't buy for a second that her ex was abusive - it was HER. This is a manipulative trick I see with women all the time.
She is not using the fact that her ex was abusive - it is being used as a weapon against you. It is a sword, not a shield.
Normally, if you are secure in a relationship and you call someone and they don't answer, you leave a message and call back. If you cal 2-3 times rapidly and they give a crap about you, they answer.
You are being used and manipulated for her benefit. You don't recognize it because you have only just begun to get your life together - but don't let her derail you because she provides comfort. You don't need this crap.
I know she felt like the only one you could talk to...which is how she wants it. If you had options, she couldn't pull this crap. You would just talk to someone else. You wouldn't FEEL like she was the only one you could talk to.
"I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked." -Scott Adams
02-12-2019, 03:01 PM
But that doesn’t matter. It’s the past, and cannot be changed. What does matter is what she does now, and even if she was abused, she’s gone so far to using that as an excuse to end/win an argument whenever she wants and to have him feel like the bad guy for showing even a basic level of human emotion. Plus, if it was true, and also not being used as a weapon like you said, she’d logically realize she screwed up and actually apologize for it after a little while, not ignore all of his calls because of it.
02-12-2019, 03:42 PM
02-12-2019, 03:45 PM
02-12-2019, 03:56 PM
02-12-2019, 03:58 PM
02-12-2019, 04:08 PM
02-12-2019, 06:53 PM
02-12-2019, 08:14 PM
02-12-2019, 08:17 PM
02-12-2019, 08:25 PM
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