New Slogans For Barack Obama

[bpmartyr]

New Slogans For Barack Obama
Ben Shapiro
Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Barack Obama's messianic tour of Europe is over. And, like Jesus, he has risen again -- in the polls. According to Gallup's daily tracking poll, Obama is now up 8 percent among registered voters. According to Rasmussen, his lead is a whopping three points. (According to USA Today/Gallup, John McCain actually leads Obama among likely voters by 4 percent. But God knows that Jesus' poll numbers are always vacillating, too.)

Obama's return has meant jubilation in the streets. Demure virgins wave palm fronds over the triumphant conqueror as he wanders the highways and byways of the campaign trail. Obama gracefully offers them water bottles when they are overcome -- and they are miraculously healed.

Obama has it all. All except for one thing: a new slogan. Hope and change are all well and good, but they seem tired. After a year and a half, hope and change begin to wear thin, despite the Holy One's profound enunciation of those shallow incantations.

And so I, a humble member of a planet dedicated to the glory and power of Barack Obama, offer the following suggestions:

When Experience, Knowledge and Honor Just Aren't Good Enough. Vote Obama.

Hope. Change. And All That Other BS. Vote Obama.

More Experience Than a Fifth Grader. Vote Obama.

Standing Up For the Power of Horse Manure. Vote Obama.

Talking Big. Doing Nothing. Vote Obama.

This Election Is All About You. Voting for Me. Vote Obama.

Sure, I Remember Voting In the Senate That One Time. Vote Obama.

Kim Jung Il, Hamas and Fidel Castro Can't Be Wrong. Vote Obama.

Pass the Arugula. Vote Obama.

You Say Corrupt Land Deal. I Say Creative Financing. Potaytoe, Potahtoe. Vote Obama.

Like Black People? Vote Obama.

The Man With The Iraq Plan. Yeah, The Plan That Didn't Work. So What, Racist? Vote Obama.

Flag Pins Are Stupid. But I'm Not Unpatriotic. You Racist. Vote Obama.

Don't Like My Pastor? Shut Up, Racist. Still Don't Like Him? I Guess I Don't, Either. Vote Obama.

Watch the Oceans Recede. Watch the World Make Peace. And Watch As I Saw This Woman In Half! Vote Obama.

Fooling All of the People All of the Time. Vote Obama.

Cut Military Funding. Dictators Are Nice. Vote Obama.

Yes We Can. Or Rather, I Can. Vote Obama.

Barack Obama will not adopt any of these slogans any time soon, I admit. But here's the irony -- he could adopt such slogans and still win the election. That's because his followers do not hear a word he says. They watch him wave his arms; they scream and cheer as he fist-bumps his wife; they keel over in the aisles when he coughs, and jump up and down when he sneezes. He's part Neville Chamberlain, part Rolling Stones. His devotees are all moonstruck teenyboppers.

Back in March, Obama spoke in Wisconsin. "People question if words matter," he thundered. "Words do matter. Words challenge us to reach higher. Words are a catalyst for change and words motivate us to chase our dreams." Obama was wrong. When it comes to his campaign, words don't matter in the slightest. Obama could perform mime, and his followers would applaud wildly. All that matters is the Obama persona. And that persona doesn't rely on words, ideas or policies. It relies on stupidity. And where his followers are concerned, stupidity is in no short supply.

 

[Fastone]

New slogan for you
:FUfinger:


:bruce3:

 

[aristo3369]

Give me a break!! I notice you are constantly bashing Mr. Obama on this webpage. Are you a true muscle man or an Obama basher. Stop whining and get use to the fact that he will be our next president whether you continue to hate or not. Now go drink a protein shake.

 

[bpmartyr]

Give me a break!! I notice you are constantly bashing Mr. Obama on this webpage. Are you a true muscle man or an Obama basher. Stop whining and get use to the fact that he will be our next president whether you continue to hate or not. Now go drink a protein shake.

This is the politics section, not the nutrition section; but I prefer whole foods over shakes thank you.

You must have a different dictionary than I do where "fact" means something entirely alternative. It is virtually a dead heat ATM with Obama slipping more and more. You really want to elect a guy whose solution to the energy crisis is inflating our tires? Go lick a salt block 'muscle man'.

 

[AE14]

This is the politics section, not the nutrition section; but I prefer whole foods over shakes thank you.

You must have a different dictionary than I do where "fact" means something entirely alternative. It is virtually a dead heat ATM with Obama slipping more and more. You really want to elect a guy whose solution to the energy crisis is inflating our tires? Go lick a salt block 'muscle man'.

I hate to say this, but your dislike for Obama is of course your perogative, however, your support of McCain seems short sighted. I mean his own party is not full of support for him, in fact many of his party were against him when the primaries started

 

[Jayhawkk]

I laugh when people write stories like the one above. Instead of taking a point by point approach to counter Obama's policies he wants to compare him to the likes of Jesus. Which is very irritating to people like me who think those comparisons are better left to better qualified individuals (hint: none).

Instead we'll make fun of a campaigne slogan? that has about as much depth as Obama's "Time for Change" rhetoric.

 

[bpmartyr]

I hate to say this, but your dislike for Obama is of course your perogative, however, your support of McCain seems short sighted. I mean his own party is not full of support for him, in fact many of his party were against him when the primaries started

Could you clarify what you are trying to say there? Short sighted in what way? Right now polls show them running pretty darn close and McCain won the nomination handedly, long before Obama finally squeeked out his victory over Hilary.

IMO, the early primaries went heavy for Obama before anyone knew anything about him, his radical associates and is ever changing positions. The tide was changing toward the end but it was too late. If the press wasn't so in Love with him and had dug some of the bones from his closet earlier it would have been the first woman candidate, again IMO.

You hear complaints from far right pundits regarding McCain because he is not their water carrier. He has shown more willingness to work together with the other side than anyone else I can think of and it is the independents and swing voters who will decide the election not the die hard party base. In the end, most most rational people will settle with a candidate that most closely follows or has less divergence from their own convictions. Name me some major positions of the right and tell me wich candidate shares the majority.

I'll give you a few:


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1. The rights of the individual are supreme. We are endowed by our creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Individuals living in a free society should therefore make every effort to place and ensure limitations on their government. The First Congress of the United States recognized this supposition, and passed a Bill of Rights which both clarifies the rights of individuals and places restrictions on government.

2. All persons are created equal, and are of equal and inestimable worth. Any government program which seeks to discriminate against or in favor of a person on the sole basis of race or ethnicity should never be tolerated.

3. The money one earns as the result of his work and industriousness, and the goods he acquires with that money, are his private property. Tax systems should never be designed to appropriate one's private property for the purpose of distributing that property to another person who has done nothing to earn it. Nor should personal achievement be punished or discouraged by confiscatory taxation. The Fifth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution declares, in part, that private property shall not be taken for public use, without just compensation. One's earnings are his private property, and taxes should therefore only be collected through consumer activity.

4. Wealth is created only by private enterprise. A society flourishes best in an atmosphere where competition is encouraged, and citizens are properly rewarded for their excellence. The government does not create wealth, and should therefore only do the things the private sector can not or will not do. Public services the government should provide for its citizens include a standing army, law enforcement and other such protections, roadways, and schools. The government should never raise more money than is required to find direct, basic services.

5. The best parents for a child are that child's parents. The government should never create programs which usurp the duty of parents. Although the government should provide good schools and staff them with competent teachers, parents should bear the primary responsibility for their children's well-being and education. The role of discipline must be shouldered by the parents, and parents should send their children to school with the clear understanding that they are there to learn. Our teachers are not daycare providers. In addition, a child's character and moral underpinnings should be instilled by his parents -- not the public education system.

6. Private charities, religious or otherwise, are necessary institutions in a free society, because they are designed to extend benevolence to individuals who are temporarily in need. Charities exist because individuals are compelled, by their own desire, to share a portion of their own money (not other people's money) with the full faith that those charities will spend that money wisely, frugally, and solely for the purposes which they advertise. The government should therefore only provide social services in very limited cases to those individuals who absolutely cannot help themselves. The welfare state is anathema to a free, capitalist society.

7. Elected officials and government employees are public servants, and should never concern themselves with improving anyone's life. Americans have the distinct privilege of residing in a country where we, and only we, decide what improves our lives. Although no one can be promised and equal outcome life, everyone should be afforded equal opportunity to pursue happiness for himself and his family. Therefore, no citizen seeking public office should ever do so under the pretense that he will take property from one and give that property to another in order to improve his life. An elected official's primary concern should be to facilitate and perpetuate the free society to which he belongs.

8. Governments do have their place, do provide some worthwhile services, and taxes are therefore necessary. However, those charged with the power to levy taxes should recognize foremost that their fellow citizens have many obligations, goals, and priorities for themselves and their families which are tantamount to funding the government.

9. Immigrants are welcome, but the government has the duty to place restrictions on immigration, and should do whatever is necessary to execute those restrictions. Those who seek to immigrate into the United States in order to enjoy our freedoms and opportunties must do so legally, and with the understanding that they will be expected to support themselves and their families, live by our laws, pay their taxes, and learn our language.

10. There is a Supreme Being, and there are very clear distinctions between right and wrong. This is why laws are necessary. In addition, the government should never make laws which restrict or even discourage the free exercise of religion.

 

[EasyEJL]

Sure, I Remember Voting In the Senate That One Time. Vote Obama.

I love this one. If I was from his home senate territory, I'd be really pissed off that he spent half his first elected position in the senate campaigning for another job rather than representing them....