Ex's WTF?

[Cuffs]

Get this. Many of you may remember the crap I went through over a year ago with my impending divorce. Yeah, 'impending' divorce. Divorce papers were drawn up a year ago September and was to be final last April, then May. It turns out my ex, who I haven't even laid eyes on in over a year now, stopped the process in hopes we would get back together. She even no-showed for a court date in August. Well, my ex had a baby last month. The father, who she left me for, has gone back to his wife last November and is not in the picture.

Now this is where it gets intersting. I receive a 7 page letter in the mail from my ex. It goes on talking about how much she misses me, how she made a huge mistake, how she wants me to be the step-father to her baby and maybe even adopting him if his father will sign his parental rights away. The letter has a lot of promises. Promises to take care of me since I took care of her for so many years, all the way to buying me the Harley I was wanting to get last Summer. Blah, blah, blah....

Basically, the letter is trying to say all the "right" things to suck me back into her world. I see it all as empty promises. Especially since I got to see her true colors at their best...or should I say worst.

I just want this whole thing to be over with once and for all. Seems like it's just dragging on. A friend of mine said it best. "You gotta watch those women. They have teeth at both ends."

This is where it sucks in my world. The letter meant nothing to me. However, my chick I'm living with got to read it. My ex had warned me of the letter she was sending me, but would not say what it was regarding. So, I told my chick about the letter in case she got to the mail first. I even told her she could read it before me, or we could read it together. I wanted to make her feel secure, just in case it was a letter asking to get back together. Little did I know it was just that. Now my chick is upset at me and feeling like crap. She had to share the letter with her good friends who are now "sympathizing" with her after their little "hen party".

I'm sure my ex wanted my chick to read the letter in order to cause turmoil between us.

It just seems to never end.....

On a good note, the sex is still kickin'!:thumbsup:

 

[tattoopierced1]

jez man, that is pretty crazy stuff there. Glad you see through the BS in the letter, alot of women are really good at manipulating men, glad you are not one of those unlucky guys.

keep your head up, you still got my nextel 2 way if you ever need to talk bro.

 

[Lean One]

I feel your pain My man... Sounds to me like she regrets her decision.

Too Bad...:toofunny:

 

[jminis]

Sounds to me like the guy she left you for dumped her and she needs a soft place to land, hence she wants to get back with you. Just don't get sucked into that BS. I honestly feel bad for the child involved hopefully the father will own up to being a man.

 

[Cuffs]

Yeah, the dude she left me for left her last November. She told me she got pregnant the last time they saw each other. I guess at first he didn't want anything to do with the child. Now he does. She wants him to have nothing to do with their child and he has not even seen him. She's going to have a very long and hard road ahead of her. I should scan the letter and put it on here for you dudes to read. It's pretty pathetic. The only means she has to contact me is via email. She's sending them constantly asking what I think about the letter and why I have not called, or responded. She's going mental right now. In a way I do feel bad for her, but she made her bed and really messed with me.

I promise...I will not get sucked into this one!

 

[ManBeast]

Stay strong brother, stay strong.

ManBeast

 

[Gumbo]

Stop and think for a moment.....will getting back together with her improve your life? (kid that is not yours, old BS that you still remember, etc, etc).

I was in a similar position a few years ago....I am happy to say that I moved on, met my current wife and am expecting a daughter in two months. I am so VERY happy that I did not get back into a relationship that was lacking on so many levels.

Too many people make the mistake of only remembering the good times and hoping that things will be better....You must remember the bad times as well and what the odds are that she will change.

Hope this helps.

Gumbo

 

[anatolian]

Do it, get the Harley and then leave her. J/K I am sorry you are having to go through all of this, it sounds like alot to deal with. From your past with her I sure would'nt get back together with her, (you don't sound like you even want to) she just appears to have really screwed up and now wants some help, or someone else around to drag down with her. I hope your current girlfriend understands everything and does not stay sad to long. Best of luck!!!

 

[CDB]

Stop and think for a moment.....

There is no thought needed in my opinion. **** the *****. Life is too short to waste on people of that stripe.

Cuffs, about the only thing this letter should lead you to do is something to make your current girl feel a bit more secure. Spend a little money on her, give her some special attention, a nice dinner, something.

 

[James]

Run... run like the wind

 

[200wannabe]

There is no thought needed in my opinion. **** the *****. Life is too short to waste on people of that stripe.

Cuffs, about the only thing this letter should lead you to do is something to make your current girl feel a bit more secure. Spend a little money on her, give her some special attention, a nice dinner, something.

Well said.

You have moved on... period!

Throw the letter in the bin, send her a short to point email that makes it clear that getting back together is not an option and you would like to proceed with the divorce asap.

 

[toughchick401]

You have been there, and although you may want to belive it..well i wouldn't people show there true colors when things get messy......Stick with the new girl, be careful there as well, she is now as you said feeling insecure, you did the right thing letting her read it, and not hide it.,......

(((HUGZ)))))

 

[Beau]

Show the letter to your Attorney and see if it he believes it will have any favorable impact (financially or otherwise) on your divorce. It sounds as if she admits to things in the letter than may be damaging to her case. Ask your attorney what it would take to finalize the process she initiated, or if you would have to initiate the process all over again.

Send her a one line letter informing her that all future correspondence, if any, from her to you will need to be routed through your Attorney, since it may be discoverable in a legal proceeding.

 

[tsc]

Women in a bad situation often will do anything to get back with someone that is a security blanket in their life. Usually nothing changes in the long run, but she has fallen and wants you to help her back up. If you refuse she'll most likely latch onto a man as fast as possible that shows potential to take care of her and her kid. Its not about love, but about putting her self back in a safe spot.

If you are definitely not going back with her (I wouldn't), have your girlfriend help you draft a response to your ex. At least ask her for advice on how to word it where it won't come back to haunt you in the divorce. If she knows you want her help to get rid of your ex, it might ease her mind as she will know you don't want your ex. You also show her that she is the one you go to for support.

TSC

 

[DmitryWI]

I promise...I will not get sucked into this one!

Good. I remember very well what you went through, how broken heart you were and what she's done to you. Getting back with her would be the dumbest thing you could've done.

People want what they can't get... She is perfect example.

 

[BioHazzard]

She is truly shameless......

 

[Beatmaster]

.... Now my chick is upset at me and feeling like crap. She had to share the letter with her good friends who are now "sympathizing" with her after their little "hen party"....

this is What woman do together..... :rant: :twisted:

i hope for you that your wife's friend doesn't f**k up everything.
there gonna play with her head and everything, man i hope i'm wrong..

plus your making her read the letter, so you have nothing to hide, just that proove right there that you love her, hope she realise that.

and if she realy love you she will stay and laugh about it.

hang on man.

 

[motiv8er]

Women in a bad situation often will do anything to get back with someone that is a security blanket in their life. Usually nothing changes in the long run, but she has fallen and wants you to help her back up. If you refuse she'll most likely latch onto a man as fast as possible that shows potential to take care of her and her kid. Its not about love, but about putting her self back in a safe spot.

If you are definitely not going back with her (I wouldn't), have your girlfriend help you draft a response to your ex. At least ask her for advice on how to word it where it won't come back to haunt you in the divorce. If she knows you want her help to get rid of your ex, it might ease her mind as she will know you don't want your ex. You also show her that she is the one you go to for support.

TSC

A brilliant solution. Cuffs, your ex doesn't truely care about you. We know this. Stay strong... Peace.

 

[yeahright]

:goodpost:

 

[motiv8er]

:goodpost:

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to yeahright again.

Thanks for the :goodpost:

Appearantly, I like repping you.

 

[glenihan]

i'm sorry man that's really a horribly annoying situation

i went through something somewhat similiar but nowhere near the same degree when my ex would call me every few days for a few weeks about 8 months after we broke up and it would kill my new lady everytime her number showed up on my cell phone even though she knows we are totally through

it does suck for your gal, but just keep being the good guy we all know you are and she'll get past it soon

 

[Jstrong20]

Screw them both. Its not your fault you laid pipe so good she wants to come back to you. lol seriously I'm glad that you know whats up and know better then to mess with her again. Unfortanelty some of my freinds don't and end up punishing themselves.

 

[CDB]

Screw them both. Its not your fault you laid pipe so good she wants to come back to you. lol seriously I'm glad that you know whats up and know better then to mess with her again. Unfortanelty some of my freinds don't and end up punishing themselves.

They are too mushy I'd bet. An ex looking for a security blanket is a great source for a **** buddy, so long as you can be a prick about it and not get emotional over her again. OF course this means using her to an extent for a while. Personally though their desire to 'come back' after ****ing you over indicates a similar attempt on their part to use you, so I feel no guilt about going for the easy score most of the time. Unless it was a real serious relationship, but I have few enough of those it's not really an issue for me thankfully.:twisted:

 

[Iron Warrior]

Well Cuffs, it looks like you get to have the last laugh
BTW, your approach with your girlfriend is great, I wouldn't have thought of that.

I love it how women find a great guy, dump him and hurt him only to realize how fortunate they were to have him and then try almost anything to get him back. I guess there is some truth to the karma. I only feel bad for the child who will have no father (or potentially a crappy father which is better then no father) because he's just sort of caught in the crossfire.

 

[Cuffs]

Update:

I thought I'd give an update to what has been going on with this situation. I ended up drafting a letter to my ex and let my girlfriend read it. I then placed the letter my ex wrote me into an envelope along with the drafted letter. It looks as if the letter has never even been opened. I then mailed it back to my ex.

My letter just says that I don't think we sould have any further contact, that I am happy with where I am and who I'm with and that a letter will not change that. I then ended it with wishing her the best. The letter was classy and did not trash her.

My current girlfriend is still a bit upset. We had a bit of a blow out a few nights ago over this. Things seem so-so at the moment. She said it will just take some time for her to get over it all. I think once the divorce is final, things will be much better.

 

[Mrs. Gimpy!]

why does you're girlfriend feel a bit insecure? if i was at her hen party , as you call it, i would have told her that you were a good guy,,,,, i simply dont understand why she's alittle upset when you did all the right things. im sure that things will be fine though! its good tosee that you are doing well.

 

[bpmartyr]

why does you're girlfriend feel a bit insecure? if i was at her hen party , as you call it, i would have told her that you were a good guy,,,,, i simply dont understand why she's alittle upset when you did all the right things. im sure that things will be fine though! its good tosee that you are doing well.

Because she is human and we all get a little insecure at times and deal with things in our own way.

Cuffs:If you love this girl it is worth working through it with her. You will just get to know each other a little better in the process. Stick with with it man, you are doing great.

I have an insane X wife (with a child (of whom I have full custody)) and a wonderfull current wife of 10 years. We have gone through some rough times dealing with the past that haunts but are all the stronger today because of it. Godspeed bro.

 

[CDB]

Because she is human and we all get a little insecure at times and deal with things in our own way.

Yeah, but why can't women just hit **** or work on their car like guys? It'd make things easier.

 

[Big Matt]

Show the letter to your Attorney and see if it he believes it will have any favorable impact (financially or otherwise) on your divorce. It sounds as if she admits to things in the letter than may be damaging to her case. Ask your attorney what it would take to finalize the process she initiated, or if you would have to initiate the process all over again.

Send her a one line letter informing her that all future correspondence, if any, from her to you will need to be routed through your Attorney, since it may be discoverable in a legal proceeding.

Took the words right outta my mouth! :study:
Steer clear of that one my friend! Do whatever it takes to keep her in the past where she belongs and you will see the light at the end of the tunnel getting brighter and brighter!

 

[tsc]

Update:

I thought I'd give an update to what has been going on with this situation. I ended up drafting a letter to my ex and let my girlfriend read it. I then placed the letter my ex wrote me into an envelope along with the drafted letter. It looks as if the letter has never even been opened. I then mailed it back to my ex.

My letter just says that I don't think we sould have any further contact, that I am happy with where I am and who I'm with and that a letter will not change that. I then ended it with wishing her the best. The letter was classy and did not trash her.

My current girlfriend is still a bit upset. We had a bit of a blow out a few nights ago over this. Things seem so-so at the moment. She said it will just take some time for her to get over it all. I think once the divorce is final, things will be much better.

cool, you did the important first step. Now, do something surprisingly romantic, or romantically surprising for your girlfriend. Send some flowers to her work (so all the women around her will be curious (jealous) and she'll feel special). Then later that day have a dinner made and ready for her, or anything else that would make for a special occasion. You could hand deliver the flowers yourself if you really want to make an impact (of course, you'd have to call her right before you show up telling her you have to leave town or will be coming home late etc., then show up a minute or two later.

Now is the time to give her a little special attention and remind her why you are with her and not a psychotic ex. The day before just drop a hint that you have a surprise for her, and say nothing more when she asks.. .just smile.

TSC

 

[toughchick401]

Because she is human and we all get a little insecure at times and deal with things in our own way.

Cuffs:If you love this girl it is worth working through it with her. You will just get to know each other a little better in the process. Stick with with it man, you are doing great.

I have an insane X wife (with a child (of whom I have full custody)) and a wonderfull current wife of 10 years. We have gone through some rough times dealing with the past that haunts but are all the stronger today because of it. Godspeed bro.

Good post.,,...cuffs good to see all is well..........

 

[Big Matt]

cool, you did the important first step. Now, do something surprisingly romantic, or romantically surprising for your girlfriend. Send some flowers to her work (so all the women around her will be curious (jealous) and she'll feel special). Then later that day have a dinner made and ready for her, or anything else that would make for a special occasion. You could hand deliver the flowers yourself if you really want to make an impact (of course, you'd have to call her right before you show up telling her you have to leave town or will be coming home late etc., then show up a minute or two later.

Now is the time to give her a little special attention and remind her why you are with her and not a psychotic ex. The day before just drop a hint that you have a surprise for her, and say nothing more when she asks.. .just smile.

TSC

Great advice! After 13 years of mariage and 16 years together......I have learned nothing is a greater "point getter" than your girl getting flowers at work....the bigger the arrangement the better. Everybody's head turns when flowers come in the office and everyone wonders whose desk they are going to land on.......everyone makes a big deal about it: "Who are they from?" " What's the occasion?"............she'll love the attention......

....want an extra tip.....don't even bring up the "ex" thing.......just write in the card that you need to send with the flowers, something like:

"I hate Monday's even more because I'm not with you RIGHT NOW!

Yours Forever,

(insert name here) "

She'll forget all about the "ex", her heart will melt, and I 99.99% garauntee that you will get "lucky". Has never failed for me.

 

[Cuffs]

Yeah, I did the flower thing a couple of weeks ago. I do it for special events and "just becauses". My chicks birthday is coming up, so I think I'm gonna do something special for her. She starts a new job on her birthday. She's actually becoming a cop and begins her training that day. I'm gonna do something for her the weekend before. Maybe even go to Vegas for a couple of days. Our last trip there was a blast. I wanted to post up about it in the Adult Section, but Bobo got rid of it...lol. Too graphic for this section.

 

[b unit]

what ever happened cuffs? if you still outhere?

 

[BodyWizard]

Indeed - how *are* things turning for ya, buddy?