Would you ever date a person that competes?

TheMaster

TheMaster

Banned
Awards
0
Topic of conversation........

Would you enjoy dating a person that competed if in fact you do not compete yourself?

There are postives and negatives with this scenario. Positives are they would motivate you to stay in shape and eat healthy. Negatives are it would be very hard for them to give you a solid relationship. Just like with any athlete, they live breathe and sleep the sport they are involved in. So more than likely it would be very difficult for them to invest energy into a relationship. That is why many people who compete date others who compete also.

For those of you that enjoy going out for pizza here and there, going out to nightclubs and letting loose with drinks, and those of you that actually have a life outside of the gym, a person that competes probably would not be the ideal match for you. I can just hear it now "Hey honey want to go out to a nice steakhouse this Friday? We worked hard in the gym all week."

"Oh I can't do that. The food there is too fattening!"

So would you date one anyway?
 

gokix811

Well-known member
Awards
2
  • RockStar
  • Established
I have dated a person that competed. Didn't work out, for reasons other than competing. It's important to keep goals in mind - but I'm sure like any budding relationship, it would also be important to find some middle ground without comprising yourself or your goals.
 
john.patterson

john.patterson

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
For those of you that enjoy going out for pizza here and there, going out to nightclubs and letting loose with drinks, and those of you that actually have a life outside of the gym, a person that competes probably would not be the ideal match for you. I can just hear it now "Hey honey want to go out to a nice steakhouse this Friday? We worked hard in the gym all week."
This can often be a topic for argument with couples that compete. I think it comes down to finding someone who's compatible with your lifestyle. If the person in the relationship who competes has to restrict the Friday night out for an 8-10 week prep, then the other person should be able to respect that and support the decision for the short period of time while their significant other is in the final stages of prep.

Everyone is different when it comes to that though. I rarely splurge on pizza or go all out at a club on a Friday, but that doesn't mean I won't go out and have fun. Its all about personal preference, and personal goals and lifestyle. Competing can make a person go to extremes, but at the end of the day a competition prep is a short amount of time in the grand scheme. If the girl I was dating couldn't eat pizza and have fun while prepping, I would support it and learn to enjoy watching her in her success.
 
TheMaster

TheMaster

Banned
Awards
0
This can often be a topic for argument with couples that compete. I think it comes down to finding someone who's compatible with your lifestyle. If the person in the relationship who competes has to restrict the Friday night out for an 8-10 week prep, then the other person should be able to respect that and support the decision for the short period of time while their significant other is in the final stages of prep.

Everyone is different when it comes to that though. I rarely splurge on pizza or go all out at a club on a Friday, but that doesn't mean I won't go out and have fun. Its all about personal preference, and personal goals and lifestyle. Competing can make a person go to extremes, but at the end of the day a competition prep is a short amount of time in the grand scheme. If the girl I was dating couldn't eat pizza and have fun while prepping, I would support it and learn to enjoy watching her in her success.
Yes I agree. But what about the people that obsess so hard about their diet and workout time that they NEVER find time for anything else? They never find time to not give a **** and eat what they want to. Basically drive themselves to having a food disorder. I've seen some women on stage and I'll tell you what. They had no muscle, nothing. Just rail thin in a bikini because all they did was cardio, and some light weight training here and there while eating under maintenance. These are the girls who compete in NPC Bodybuilding level shows.
 

gokix811

Well-known member
Awards
2
  • RockStar
  • Established
Yes I agree. But what about the people that obsess so hard about their diet and workout time that they NEVER find time for anything else? They never find time to not give a **** and eat what they want to.
Do they not work, have social obligations, hang out with friends? What business does someone have in trying to be in a relationship if they don't make time for others?
 
john.patterson

john.patterson

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
Yes I agree. But what about the people that obsess so hard about their diet and workout time that they NEVER find time for anything else? They never find time to not give a **** and eat what they want to. Basically drive themselves to having a food disorder. I've seen some women on stage and I'll tell you what. They had no muscle, nothing. Just rail thin in a bikini because all they did was cardio, and some light weight training here and there while eating under maintenance. These are the girls who compete in NPC Bodybuilding level shows.
Those types of people usually do have some form of eating disorder, which can be very difficult to manage in a relationship. Usually those types of people struggle to be in a relationship at all, and don't have many friends and aren't invited to many social events. I think people that struggle with those types of obsessive eating habits have more to worry about in their own personal lives than trying to find a significant other to accept them haha. If a girl was ever too obsessive and controlling over her diet and eating, I'd recommend her to a doctor before I tried to date her lol
 

kisaj

Legend
Awards
3
  • RockStar
  • Established
  • First Up Vote
No, I wouldn't. Even when I was very competitive in other sports and competitions, I always walked a very balanced life with social aspects and diet, never thinking twice about having drinks with friends or eating "unhealthy". Bodybuilding, fitness, or other vanity activities tend to make people very obsessive with these areas. I know many people that compete or act like they are going to and this is a common mindset. Oddly, the same goes with triathletes I train with. Very obsessed with diet and routine.
 
TheMaster

TheMaster

Banned
Awards
0
Thanks for the replies guys. Its nice to see people who get it about living a well rounded healthy life. :)
 
123abcabcabc

123abcabcabc

Well-known member
Awards
0
Not having to pay for a steak dinner once a week? Sure.
 

PaulBlack

Well-known member
Awards
2
  • RockStar
  • Established
You would most likely have to commit to someone else's focus or commitment. Kinda like dating the drummer. You'd better want to follow, be behind the scenes or take second fiddle instead of lead.
Date maybe, but long term or serious relationship, most likely not.
 
Magdalena

Magdalena

Well-known member
Awards
2
  • RockStar
  • Established
I am a competitor n I find it very hard to date ppl that do not compete..
Not possible in my opinion...
 
Driven2lift

Driven2lift

AnabolicMinds Site Rep
Awards
0
I am a competitor n I find it very hard to date ppl that do not compete..
Not possible in my opinion...
Because of what?

Genuinely confused at that one, unless it's pure preference
 
RegisterJr

RegisterJr

Legend
Awards
3
  • RockStar
  • Legend!
  • Established
I don't compete but I'm just as picky with what I eat. My wife hates it. So, I guess my wife would.
 
Magdalena

Magdalena

Well-known member
Awards
2
  • RockStar
  • Established
The guilt of not putting enough time into the relationship? lol...
To make my dreams come true I work 60hrs/week train 13hrs/week
Doesn't leave me much time for a relationship unless it's someone with related goals..
It's hard to have to explain my self why I eat every 3 hrs, why I can't just skip a meal, why i can't take the evening off the gym n go watch a movie, why my only day off from work is food prep day...
List goes on, ha ha..
Personal preference to save me from guilt n stress..
;)
 
RegisterJr

RegisterJr

Legend
Awards
3
  • RockStar
  • Legend!
  • Established
The guilt of not putting enough time into the relationship? lol...
To make my dreams come true I work 60hrs/week train 13hrs/week
Doesn't leave me much time for a relationship unless it's someone with related goals..
It's hard to have to explain my self why I eat every 3 hrs, why I can't just skip a meal, why i can't take the evening off the gym n go watch a movie, why my only day off from work is food prep day...
List goes on, ha ha..
Personal preference to save me from guilt n stress..
;)
The right person would understand.
 
Driven2lift

Driven2lift

AnabolicMinds Site Rep
Awards
0
Yep I can't pretend to be in your shoes, sounds hectic!

I've always eaten my own food in the household (here or back at my parents) so I'm used to it.

I just make people deal with it lol. They can accept my gym time and diet or not
 
Magdalena

Magdalena

Well-known member
Awards
2
  • RockStar
  • Established
U r right RegisterJr. But is it fair?
I found my self slipping when dating non competitive ppl ( example) a gym owner.. He'd cook me fabulous meals but use butter on the fish, ha ha.. Id b polite n eat the meal, but inside I was so stressed..
Also my coach told me to stay focused. No destructions of any kind. Not if I want that pro card..
I just don't c dating a non competitor realistic ...
 
RegisterJr

RegisterJr

Legend
Awards
3
  • RockStar
  • Legend!
  • Established
U r right RegisterJr. But is it fair?
I found my self slipping when dating non competitive ppl ( example) a gym owner.. He'd cook me fabulous meals but use butter on the fish, ha ha.. Id b polite n eat the meal, but inside I was so stressed..
Also my coach told me to stay focused. No destructions of any kind. Not if I want that pro card..
I just don't c dating a non competitor realistic ...
I don't know. Is it fair that an NFL or NBA athlete spends so much time on the road and evenings in film room? Your significant other fits in the life and is supportive, or isn't.

My wife doesn't lift or manage food much at all. I believe if she did, and if she had extra gym hours I'd be ok with that. I get up at 3am to lift and she doesn't bat an eye. For me it's just because I like it. She also asks, if she cooks, what is ok and what isn't, to put in my food.
 
muscleupcrohn

muscleupcrohn

Legend
Awards
3
  • RockStar
  • Established
  • First Up Vote
U r right RegisterJr. But is it fair?
I found my self slipping when dating non competitive ppl ( example) a gym owner.. He'd cook me fabulous meals but use butter on the fish, ha ha.. Id b polite n eat the meal, but inside I was so stressed..
Also my coach told me to stay focused. No destructions of any kind. Not if I want that pro card..
I just don't c dating a non competitor realistic ...
I feel that the right person would be willing to put in the effort to make it work. Maybe not all people, or even most people, but some people will. I'd just make it clear right off the bat what you want and expect out of the relationship.
 
muscleupcrohn

muscleupcrohn

Legend
Awards
3
  • RockStar
  • Established
  • First Up Vote
For example, my ex was a dressage rider and groom, and that was VERY time consuming. Between taking care of the horses at 6 AM, riding, night check at 10 PM, plus days-long shows, etc. when I met her I had no knowledge or interest in horses, but I cared about her, so I learned and took an interest, and even was able to help out with a lot of stuff after a while (and give horses supplements, that's fun), and we learned to have fun doing activities that wouldn't normally be fun. I can't eat gluten (among other foods), so when we cooked or ate out, we planned around it. That's part of a relationship. We ended up breaking up for other reasons, but working with each other and understanding was why it even lasted as long as it did.
 
doogans

doogans

Active member
Awards
1
  • Established
I went out with a NPC figure competitor for a few months. It was a drag every time we went out. She couldn't have more than one vodka drink when we hit the bars, and she didn't partake in light night fast food binges with me. It wasn't a total deal breaker but the difference in lifestyle was a downer sometimes.
 
MidwestBeast

MidwestBeast

AnabolicMinds Site Rep
Awards
3
  • RockStar
  • Legend!
  • Established
This is a great question!

I think that it depends on the person's character far more than whether he or she competes (outside of those at the absolute elite level, like the Olympia -- but at that point, I feel like it's a different question and no different than a professional athlete in any sport). So for the sake of my post, I'll reference it to those who are competing locally and maybe for a pro card, but aren't trying to be Phil or Kai.

If you're someone who uses it as an excuse to not spend time with someone, that's on you and not on competing. Yes, there will be time dedicated to training just as there is to your full-time job, etc. But I think people just have to be open in their communication and expectations. And when it's outside of contest prep, you'd have to be willing to lessen the grip just a bit.

I very, very seldom drink. And it has nothing to do with competing -- since I don't -- lol. My faith is the most important thing to me. I want to be a dad.

Before I got married, I made sure my wife was very aware of all these things. And that's part of why we work. That's not to say it's without arguments and bumps, but I made it clear what I expected out of a partner before I ever moved to the point of marriage.

The reason I use that example is because so what if someone can't go out and drink at the bar? In my life, that's not something I enjoy doing anyway, so if I dated someone in contest prep, it would just work out all that much better for both of us.





So I guess my answer is if I weren't married, I would not be opposed to dating someone who competed whatsoever. However, it would depend on the type of person she was and us discussing right at the beginning our expectations of one another.
 

AllTheGainz

Active member
Awards
0
I would, she won't always be at her comp weight and shed keep my ass in check. No donuts for me.
 

Quest

Active member
Awards
2
  • Established
  • First Up Vote
Based individually, but most of the men at my gym that compete are missing a few slices of the pie.

One guy is so ****ing insecure it's hilarious. He runs around the gym looking for affirmation from everyone. Thirty year old dressed like a teeny
 

kisaj

Legend
Awards
3
  • RockStar
  • Established
  • First Up Vote
It would be very difficult to take anyone serious that was so concerned with the way that they looked.
 

AllTheGainz

Active member
Awards
0
It would be very difficult to take anyone serious that was so concerned with the way that they looked.
But see that's the thing, what if they only truly cared precontest, and after they just cared about getting bigger. Like the majority of us do.
 
TheMovement

TheMovement

Well-known member
Awards
4
  • RockStar
  • Established
  • Best Answer
  • First Up Vote
Great Thread! A lot of people don't consider the psychological, physical, and time commitments the competition goes through but as well and the other individual in the relationship. There are so many variables to consider that it can be really unnerving and taboo at times.
 

Quest

Active member
Awards
2
  • Established
  • First Up Vote
I married my wife because I found her to be a secure independent educated woman that loved me unconditionally and wanted to create a family with me. If she happened to be a competitive bb'r it would have made no difference.

I wanted her to be the mother of my children
 

Similar threads


Top