Ever have family members that didn't understand your lifestyle?

LovingtoLift

LovingtoLift

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Just wondering if any of you have ever had a family member who never could understand why you chose to eat "clean" and train with aspirations of being a pro bodybuilder? Thinking it was silly?

I deal with some of this and its just very frustrating. Im hoping to hear back from some of you on this thread of how to not let it get to me. Even though I block it out, I feel like Im doing something wrong around them if they invite me out to dinner and I turn down an appetizer or dessert if they order one for the table. Like the other night I ordered Sirloin and broccoli and a family member laughed in my face when I told them I already had my cheat day the day before and didn't want to eat dessert. Their exact words were "You honestly are way too serious. Something is really wrong with you that you don't think its ok to have a little dessert." Then they shook their head in disgust with this little laugh like I was a little kid that did something wrong against their wishes. I felt like getting up and leaving but it was my sisters birthday and I didn't want to cause a scene, so I just ignored them. This is not the first time this family member has done this to me.

Why can't they just respect the fact that I work hard in the gym and with my diet? I have cheat days, they know that. So if I tell them I had a cheat day the day before and don't want to eat dessert, why laugh at me and try to emberass me?

Its not very nice to make a person feel bad for living a lifestyle that is healthy.
 
NewbieGainz

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Obsessed is just a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated. People will always talk and never understand why we take our diets and training seriously, just ignore them and try to let the remarks roll off your back! You have a goal, stick with it. There is nothing wrong with being dedicated to something others just don't understand. Good luck!
 
Jebrook

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Who cares brother? If you're happy and content then you're way ahead of most individuals. You do you. Just let that stuff roll right off your back. No need for them to understand or appreciate your lifestyle. It's annoying for sure, but you know who they will call when something heavy has to be moved. Get in your zone and phase out the haters. We do this for ourselves and the quality of our lives. Others' approval or recognition is way down on the list to me. A spouse on the other hand, lol, that's someone you gotta get on board for your sanity's sake.
 
puccah8808

puccah8808

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My family still doesn't understand my lifestyle but I don't owe anyone an explanation. I'll always continue to do what I want when I want.
 
LovingtoLift

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It's total bs coming out of the mouths of smokers who don't belong to gyms and who live off fast food.
 
BeastFitness

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My family has always been beyond supportive in anything I do so its hard for me to relate but..man..you do need to live your life and do what makes you happy. Explain that to them. They don't need to understand it, but they do need to support it
 

MBZ

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Mother in law. Lol always pulling stuff like that trying to belittle my dedication. But it's all good. I know what my body looks like at its peak. I'm happy. She's always complaining that diets don't work and she just can't lose weight. Live for you man, life is awesome!
 
kenpoengineer

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Human beings are programmed to run in packs or tribes. When you stand out from the pack the others will turn their backs on you.

You should be part of the over 50 pack! These MFers are all lazy and fat! They use excuses like "I'm too old", "I don't have time", "You'll hurt yourself" and then go grab a donut and soda! I say don't worry about other people, stay healthy and slay some iron!
 
LovingtoLift

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I agree with all of you. What does bother me is people don't listen. You mention you have one cheat day a week, which fell on Tuesday then they order a pizza on thursday when you come over for dinner instead of grilling chicken. You then tell them you would buy the chicken and they say "we will do that next time. If you don't like it tough ****." Why are people so inconsiderate of people who eat healthy?
 
Jebrook

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I agree with all of you. What does bother me is people don't listen. You mention you have one cheat day a week, which fell on Tuesday then they order a pizza on thursday when you come over for dinner instead of grilling chicken. You then tell them you would buy the chicken and they say "we will do that next time. If you don't like it tough ****." Why are people so inconsiderate of people who eat healthy?
Actually good etiquette dictates that you eat the meal chosen and provided when at someone's house. Just be polite and eat enough to be polite. You can't expect others to cater to your lifestyle. You know what to expect from them so either decline an invitation with a polite excuse or plan it as your cheat meal if it's an every week thing. If it's your family, then bring your own food if it won't cause an uproar.
 
breezy11

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As Jebrook said, I wouldn't expect the people around you to change their lifestyle to cater to yours.


My family and (non competitor) friends don't really understand my lifestyle and it doesn't bother me at all. Do it for yourself and because you enjoy it.
 
AllaboutGains

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Its just jealousy man. Im assuming that if they smoke and live off fast food, they probably haven't seen what they look like when they work hard and eat right. Every successful person has someone trying to hold them back so they probably are your toxic people. Its unfortunate that they are your family though because that makes it all the more personal.

But I do agree that you can't expect them to change their lifestyles to fit your diet. It sucks because its an inconvenience for you to have to pack food to just see family but thats the life you've chosen.

Nothing worth doing is easy.
 

MBZ

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Agree with above. I used to pack my own food all the time when eating at a family members house. They understand that I have different goals and life and that this is my chosen lifestyle. If your going to somebody else's place to eat, either eat what they have chosen for the meal or bring your own. I've yet to meet anyone who got offended that I bring my own food.
 
choccyswag

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I have lost a couple of friends I've known since high school, when I stopped clubbing with them, but training/eating healthy/sports instead. But I have met new friends along the way, so I guess its all balanced out in the end.

My family weren't exactly excited about me lifting either, saying that I should be doing more 'girls stuff'. I don't even know what that means lol. But anyway they have stopped nagging me about it now (after over a year!). They are just relieved I haven't turned into a muscle lady. More importantly I think it is because they can see I am happy with what I am doing. If I am happy they are happy. :)
 
Driven2lift

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Was absolutely always an issue for me.

Growing up at home my family still ate crap so i made my own meals a lot which frustrated them.
+ friends or fam always impatient with the fact i wanted to get in a daily workout

But im driven2lift ;)
 
puccah8808

puccah8808

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My parents asks why I even go to the gym because I'm still fat. I can't eat around them because they'll criticize everything I shove in my mouth, and they pick at all my flaws. It's tough love in their eyes and the only time they were happy for me was when I was at my lowest but I was still not "small" enough; beating into my head that I won't stay that way forever.
 
kenpoengineer

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kisaj

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OP, I'm not sure how old you are, but do what you do and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. I've never had any BB aspirations, but have trained heavily since I was 17 for athletics and have always had to take the crap I got in stride because it never really mattered anyway. Just know that they are ignorant or simply don't want to understand, so they criticize. Now all these same people want to know what my secret is and I just smile and remind them of how "crazy" I was and why I've never stopped.
 
Gutterpump

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My mother doesn't get it hehe... she's a nurse and far too over protective when it comes to my training (or at least she used to be). She actually told me this summer "Aren't you too old to be training like this still and doing these activities?" Referring to my training regimen and participation in obstacle course races after I've suffered a few injuries / surgery over the past few years.

Injuries are all the more reason to be in shape/strong/fit & active though.

I have several "non-training" friends who tend to make fun a bit, call me 'bro' sarcastically and such. Honestly, I don't really pay attention to them or even spend much time with them these days. Seems more like hating than anything.
 

MBZ

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My mother doesn't get it hehe... she's a nurse and far too over protective when it comes to my training (or at least she used to be). She actually told me this summer "Aren't you too old to be training like this still and doing these activities?" Referring to my training regimen and participation in obstacle course races after I've suffered a few injuries / surgery over the past few years.

Injuries are all the more reason to be in shape/strong/fit & active though.

I have several "non-training" friends who tend to make fun a bit, call me 'bro' sarcastically and such. Honestly, I don't really pay attention to them or even spend much time with them these days. Seems more like hating than anything.
My mother is pretty much the same way still after all of these years. Especially once she started suspecting anabolics were involved lol. Eventually she saw that whatever it was I was doing, I was being safe about it so she kinda dropped it. But she was pretty intense with the degree of how overprotective she was being there for a bit. Almost felt like I was a teenager again haha.
 
Aleksandar37

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Not just family, but friends and co-workers as well here. At the end of the day though, it's my business what I want to do.
 
Gutterpump

Gutterpump

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My mother is pretty much the same way still after all of these years. Especially once she started suspecting anabolics were involved lol. Eventually she saw that whatever it was I was doing, I was being safe about it so she kinda dropped it. But she was pretty intense with the degree of how overprotective she was being there for a bit. Almost felt like I was a teenager again haha.
Haha yup. My mom's dropped it as well. I'm upfront about anabolics (at least with test), but she knows I've been on TRT for a while and am safe about it. It definitely felt like high school when she posted her concerns on my Facebook wall before my last obstacle race! lol
 

MBZ

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Haha oh man I bet. I'm lucky in the fact that mine doesn't use Facebook. At least not yet anyways but after hearing that I'm kinda hoping she doesn't. Never considered that possibility lol.
 
LovingtoLift

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Isn't it disgusting that these people that do this, get upset if you don't want to go out drinking with them or eating foods that have negative effects? Its as if Healthy scares the **** out of them. Should be the other way around. If that was the case, there wouldn't be 150 million overweight people in America.
 

MBZ

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Yeah it's definitely a shame that more people aren't health and fitness oriented. But that's the society that we live in today.
 

kisaj

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Isn't it disgusting that these people that do this, get upset if you don't want to go out drinking with them or eating foods that have negative effects? Its as if Healthy scares the **** out of them. Should be the other way around. If that was the case, there wouldn't be 150 million overweight people in America.
No, it's not disgusting. For many people it is being social and food/drinking is accompanied. It is also part of a healthy mental balance and shouldn't be looked down upon either if it is not in crazy excess, or you just become the same people you are complaining about.
 

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