Man, you are getting some flack because you are coming here for form advise, and you are getting advise and it doesn't appear to be sinking in.
What I am hearing is that when you bench, the movement causes you pain. Shoulders and elbows hurt.
What I am seeing in your video is the following.
1. More than anything, you are CLEARLY afraid of this movement. You have the safety pins set way too high, and you aren't even coming half way down. For anyone I've ever seen in my lift, their neck is smaller than their chest. I always set the bars so that if I get in a jam, I can dump it and my head/neck will be below the bars, while my chest is above. Most of the time, as you do this, you torso is expanded and just collapsing your torso will also bring your chest below the bars or almost below. You should use an empty bar and get a feel for the safety and where the bar will wind up when you dump it.
2. You are letting your ego dictate quite a bit. You are going for PRs, but those numbers don't mean anything. You were told a number of times to drop ALL of the weight off the bar and use an empty bar to get the form down. You resisted and kept posting videos with the same weight a number of times, then posted a video with less weight, and finally posted a video with no weight. Your form was by far the best with no weight at all, and even still it needed work.
3. You asked for advise, a dozen people say the same thing, and then you say "well Jay Cutler does it this way". Well, Jay is not the general population. Jay's form is crappy and would never get him by in a powerlifting meet - which is fine because his goals are different than that. So what are your goals? Do you want to have good bench press form that helps you get stronger and healthier? Or do you want to be able to move 300 pounds 1/4 of the way through the movement? Because if you just want to move 300 pounds and say you benched it, you are right - you don't need our help. You can keep doing what you are doing.
4. You have two glaring issues. 1 - your bar doesn't come down even close to your chest and 2 - you have a grip that is way too narrow. Everyone sees it, and i bet you do to if you look at your videos.
The lower the incline, the more force is placed on your front delts, so you are correct, this puts strain on that muscle. The narrower the grip, the more strain is placed on your triceps and elbows. If you can't do a full range of motion because it hurts, then your body is telling you there is too much force on those joints to accommodate the demand. Lighten the load and practice.
Empty bar, wider grip, lower to your chest. If you want to go Cutler and you're an inch off your chest, fine - but being 6+ inches away isn't doing much good.
These issues you are describing could be caused by a lack of mobility (which will increase with a full ROM) or just weak muscles in the chain. This is a chest exercise, but your front delts may not be ready to accommodate the load that your chest can handle. If you adjust form to avoid this pain and keep pushing heavy weights, you are going to get hurt.
Put your ego aside and try some things you are not comfortable with, and you will actually get where you're going. That's part of this game and we all face it. I often have weeks myself where I wonder - "Gee, I've been stuck at 6 reps with this weight for 3 weeks, maybe I should drop back a little and get a few more reps?" But then I am fighting my ego...i've worked hard to get to this weight...
We aren't attacking you, we all make these mistakes. But what you are hearing from the people on here isn't even debatable. We're not talking whether Jay Cutler touched his chest or was 1 inch off his chest. We are talking about form that is completely off and will most likely lead to injury if you don't put your ego aside now and fix things.
