Zero's Dream-Chaser log with MST's Somnidren GH/ZMK stack

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  1. My hand really hurts....rocks hurt...


  2. sounds like she needs to grow up a bit. i would have said more if i were you, but i never play nice. glad to see you're a bigger man than i am. maybe a christian dating website would be a good idea, or talk to other ministers around your area. here (northern california) the local morman church actually has a singles ward. might be something similar in your area. there's a perfect one out there for you zero V. don't settle for the 2nd best - thats the road to disappointment. and for goodness sake, get rid of that silly ex. maybe "go away and stay there", or "if i throw a rock, will you leave?" nobody need the stress of a crazy ex - i have one too, and i bet most of us do - just avoid her as best as you can. best of luck brotha.
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  3. Quote Originally Posted by suncloud View Post
    sounds like she needs to grow up a bit. i would have said more if i were you, but i never play nice. glad to see you're a bigger man than i am. maybe a christian dating website would be a good idea, or talk to other ministers around your area. here (northern california) the local morman church actually has a singles ward. might be something similar in your area. there's a perfect one out there for you zero V. don't settle for the 2nd best - thats the road to disappointment. and for goodness sake, get rid of that silly ex. maybe "go away and stay there", or "if i throw a rock, will you leave?" nobody need the stress of a crazy ex - i have one too, and i bet most of us do - just avoid her as best as you can. best of luck brotha.

    Thanks sun, I would avoid her. But I am a youth leader for our church, so is her and her husband....awkward no? The youth pastor said she had some maturing to do to after I told him when he wanted to talk to me.

    I end up seeing her a good 3 times a week, though I don't always have to talk to her. I love my church and the family I have there too much to leave ATM, some great people. Only negative is her. She has done things to help me out before too though, sometimes greatly. We were each others firsts in everything(yea we crossed the lines), then things went crazy.

    I dont hate her or anything, just dont want to always deal with her comments and inappropriate things she says to me. She is going to learn though that this time cost her alot, I dont have respect for her ATM.

    Walking away was all I could do. I am held accountable by God for my actions, so why dirty my hands for her? So I decided to have a man vs. nature with some rocks....hand doesn't beat rock, so I doubt paper will... I am cooled off now.

    We all need help with crazy ex's heheh... Thanks again for the support Sun.

  4. maybe it would be better to level with her and say either "please, only talk to me when your husband is present" or "don't say anything to me that you wouldn't say if your husband was here". maybe some way of phrasing things to let her know that its not only inappropriate, but disrespectful to her current hubby...

  5. Hands healing up a bit, still raw.

    Today kinda sucked in every way, I have been craving for some somnidren induced sleep, i cant wait for bed here in a few. I am taking my doses here as I type.

    The increase in energy and endurance has been great on during this time period. And even my achilles tendons are feeling the best they have ATM even after climbing hills. Stress relieve is something I really like the idea of, and Somnidren always gives me some great sleep. ZMK always makes sure that even without somnidren that night I get some dreams in. I will be hitting Bi/Back tommorow nice and hard. And I am cutting out bananas to see if they are the reason for those off days. Then I am going to take in a high amount of em on a workout day and see if there is an effect on my training. I cant have a fruit slowing my progress. Night peeps, Update coming tommorow.

    Also been thinking ofdoing a 5 day split, with 25 minutes of cardio each day. Have to check out the gym on mon/weds/fri to see how it looks.
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  6. Oy man yesterday sucked. I was late getting to the gym, I got there after 5pm....mistake. i couldn't work out. About 20 baboons crowd the mere 4 benches. I cant work out if i am literally almost shoulder to shoulder in a crowd....I was ticked...jest a lil......

    Today was nothing day, worked some OT, getting ready to take care of some bills and prep for church.

    Tomorrow is going to be a full body day, I am not missing my Bi/back for a week..... Not knowing that aug 9th-17th I cant lift because I will be in Mexico!

    Also tomorow is the last softball game, a double header! I hope it goes out with a bang. I have a very nice ladyfriend I am talking to! I duno, seems too good to be true. Guess I will have to see.

    ZMK has been taking good care of me, Wacky dreams sometimes though

    I will be taking my doses tonight at about 9ish PM(hopefully sooner) I will have NO LESS than 7 and 1/2 hours of sleep for tomorrows workout/softball.

    Scheduling classes tonight, finishing my FAFSA up. Starting school back up in sept.

    Diet has sucked majorly. NOT because I dont have discipline, but because I dont have money......I have to eat whats laying around that my parents have until friday....not a good selection.

    I do have a new Ipod Nano though, the gym....finally I can get pumped to some funky music....Time to increase my reps

  7. Ok getting ready to take my supps and hit the sack.... I registered for classes today.....Man.... I will basically have to lose tues/thursdays completely to school. There goes my nice lil t/th/s workout schedual.... I cant do it MWF the friggin gym is packed, and I dont get off till 3

    Tues/thurs I will be in class form 2-5:20 in bio, then 8-10:20 math .....man...Not to mention taking humanities online. But only 3 more quarters after this one.... I graduate in the next 4 quarters....So...close. I will have my Associates of Arts before I am 23. Then just 2 more years for me bachelors....teaching by 25!!! then I have 5 years to get my masters after that.

    Does it ever stop being depressing... I still have to work in my pastoral degree and Personal trainer certification too...>.<

    Anyhow....I will be seeing you all in the morrow, getting some sleep so I can take this pressure out on the weights... I was thinking.... maybe after I get my associates of doing construction for a summer, maybe rake in enough to pay off whats left of my debt at that time. That way I can go to school like normal. You know 5 days a week, all in the mornings....

    If anyone prays, pray for me lol....

    Thanks CTdeuce for letting me test, with the amount of stress I put myself under lately, I think the somnidren GH and ZMK are the only reason I have muscle left lol.

  8. Im glad that you're so appreciative of the stack...I just wish you had some better personal circumstances right now. Not because of the log....but because it's sad to see someone in despair. I hope things turn around for you soon bro!
    Millennium Sport Technologies Representative/Sponsored Athlete
    www.millenniumsport.net

  9. Quote Originally Posted by CTDeuce View Post
    Im glad that you're so appreciative of the stack...I just wish you had some better personal circumstances right now. Not because of the log....but because it's sad to see someone in despair. I hope things turn around for you soon bro!

    Eh they wont today, but they will someday. Once I am done with college, I may be 24/25 but hopefully by them I will be settled down, ready to raise a family and in a church as a youth pastor... Its in Gods time, not mine.

    "Mans laws do not apply"

    Anyhow had the last softball game tonight. Sucked, First game was ok, second one blew. I only got to pitch for first game, second game coach was to tired to run in the outfield so he switched with me. He is kinda old though. I havent played outfield all season. I was always 2nd base or pitcher as of late. So I sucked at it, not to mention.

    My legs are tore up. Left leg, half my left side right now is pure blood. Sliding hurts. MY right ankle was crushed by a 300 pound man running over it. My knee was hit by a ball that the batter nailed me with. Right knee.

    Eh my work outs were fun today at least. Had some nice time at the gym. Cant wait to shower off ,take Somni & ZMK and hit the sack.

    Still fighting stupid stuff mentally because of the stuff started sunday night.

    My mexico missions trip, people have really pitched in to help me fund it.

    I HAVE NO FOOD!!!!! lol save for crud. I ran out of money last week and basically I havent had my normal food, I lost 2 pounds. I need my pork sandwiches and wheat whole grain breads !!!!!

    I do believe that bananas are what cause me to have those bad workouts. I will be replacing em with another fruit.

    "In the realm of madness there is a room always kept vacant for my eventual return, in as much that insanity never leaves, only sleeps."

  10. sorry about the game. ouch!!! and to think i got mad because i stubbed my toe on my girls 8 pound DB's. good deal about the banana's though brotha - better to find out now rather than later about possible allergies.

    whenever i go broke, i buy serious mass by ON because its cheaper than dirt. psychotic amount of carbs, but not much sugar. can't argue with the price though. hope that helps a bit. other than that, string cheese and peanut butter are both really cheap. unfortunately i had a bout with credit card fraud (identity theft), so my card is all torn up waiting a replacement. is there anything i can do for you non credit card wise?

  11. I seriously think at some point I will completely lose control of everything. I need an outlet, Softball was that, the Gym was that. I need to fight. Just to give a piece back I would enjoy it too much to see her get her fair share of understanding what hell feels like.

    But I cant do a thing because I never want to hurt anyone. Actually I would say God is the only crimson tears have been avoided. If I was the old me...


    I just want peace of mind.

  12. maybe taking up boxing would help a bit. now i write poetry when i'm mad. or go back to the gym when i get wired a bit. i'm sorry brotha.

  13. Quote Originally Posted by suncloud View Post
    maybe taking up boxing would help a bit. now i write poetry when i'm mad. or go back to the gym when i get wired a bit. i'm sorry brotha.

    Yeah, I just don't want to flip out and blow something or someone up.....or worse.

    Thanks for the input. Gym doesn't cut it, writing doesn't without alcohol(and I don't drink anymore).

    I had to rip up my knuckles for the pain to act as an override. I need the pain from the gym to act as an override. This raw leg of mine I just got don't bandaging, acts as my current override.

    Pain is the only override sometimes.... but eventually it wont be enough.

  14. i hope you read this after a good nights sleep. today sucks for me. my girlfriend/fiancee is eating her fentanyl patch. 81 times more potent than morphine. i've staged an intervention before, but she just won't listen, and with a preexisting problem, cannot be denied medication. maybe tomorrow will be the day she doesn't wake up. guess that doesn't matter to her, or to her kids. i'm still waiting to adopt, after the biological dad died from an overdose too. sometimes you just can't change someone, no matter how much you want to, and it really blows. but thats life. more importantly, thats their life. they want to be an idiot, and not do the right thing, i'll let someone else judge them. sure i'd like to, but they wouldn't listen to me anyways. and the damn thing that keeps me going, is knowing some guy has the same problem as me, but he's got nobody to turn to. okay, enough whining on my part - hope that helps to any small degree.

  15. ^^...that...is real life.

    I'm sorry. I hope it makes as much sense to her as it does to you man...and I hope the universe sees it fit to have her healthy again before the other alternative.
    Millennium Sport Technologies Representative/Sponsored Athlete
    www.millenniumsport.net

  16. Yow. I can see what you mean. Having to try and be with someone going through all that. My crap aint crap......simple stuff. Guess I am still too young to really understand a lot of the world yet. I am mostly just angry with no way to show it because I am always a super nice guy, which sometimes gets taken advantage of. Every once in awhile I just want to be a Jerkwad for once. Just wouldn't be me. Maybe boxing would be a good way to get stress out. Ever since I started working out I think my body is into producing alot more testosterone or something, I am always wanting to do a sport, or wrestle, or just go to the gym. That and I am always something else that I cant fix -.-

    I really hope things change in your situation bro, I am sorry to hear that. Put me in my place tho -.- I will put you in my prayers.

    Actually I do feel great today, after a short nights rest(not much sleep at all actually) I am doing really good. I think it was just the combo if a being highly irritated, letting her get to me when thats what she wants...and its not even a big deal. I found someone better. I am just stupid is all. Only 21....maybe I will be smarter by around 25ish....I give good advice to people, now if I could take it myself. Oy I feel quite the stupid one.

    Thanks for sharing though sun.
    Last edited by Zero V; 08-01-2008 at 05:18 PM.

  17. man. i'm crying as i read this guys. i really feel the love and support from this community. my fiancee woke up, after puking her guts out all last night. course puking doesn't help because of the rapid absorption (through the gums no less). she's got a nasty headache right now, but alive. just wanted to share my thoughts with you. sometimes life is really rough, but i heard it said that life is measured by what you have done, and the obstacles you overcame to get somewhere. god does not judge me the same as someone who has struggled their whole life to get ahead.

    being a minister of god is a lifestyle that most people can't do. its like being a police officer, and being judged even when you're off duty for what you do. i just wanted to share with you zerov that you are not alone, and we all struggle with life. but the best of us maintain a positive look on the future in spite of the madness that has been brought upon us. being a minister is like that, where you will have to comfort someone, even though your day is rough. its not something most of us have the compassion to do. that being said, YOU, staying positive, and not acting out of anger, reflect just how amazing you will do serving god. reps and love to you brotha.

  18. Quote Originally Posted by suncloud View Post
    man. i'm crying as i read this guys. i really feel the love and support from this community. my fiancee woke up, after puking her guts out all last night. course puking doesn't help because of the rapid absorption (through the gums no less). she's got a nasty headache right now, but alive. just wanted to share my thoughts with you. sometimes life is really rough, but i heard it said that life is measured by what you have done, and the obstacles you overcame to get somewhere. god does not judge me the same as someone who has struggled their whole life to get ahead.

    being a minister of god is a lifestyle that most people can't do. its like being a police officer, and being judged even when you're off duty for what you do. i just wanted to share with you zerov that you are not alone, and we all struggle with life. but the best of us maintain a positive look on the future in spite of the madness that has been brought upon us. being a minister is like that, where you will have to comfort someone, even though your day is rough. its not something most of us have the compassion to do. that being said, YOU, staying positive, and not acting out of anger, reflect just how amazing you will do serving god. reps and love to you brotha.

    Bro if I could hug you I would(no homo). Having a group of people who actually care makes all the difference. I really do hope to see a post from you sometime saying that things have taking a U-turn and are getting better.

    My ex actually did some suicidal things when I was with her. Threatened to stab herself with a knife, tried to walk into a pond to drown herself, opened the car door while I was driving at 70MPH on the freeway, then grabbed my steering while and tried to ram us into the back of a semi. Though that was post breakup.... Also she can be stupid, I gave her a bottle of my Ibuprofen that I got in the army, 1000 mg tabs. She took probably 100 of them over 2 months. Aparantly like 5 in a day when she would have bad pains(she gets severe pain in her stomach and back every so often due to her ovaries). That crap eats your stomach lining like hot water on ice....and at 5000mg in a day, wth! I can understand a little bit of it, but you are obviously much farther. You are engaged, and there are kids involved. I pray things turn around and those kids get the chance to have two amazing parents.

    We seemed like each others answers to our problems, but turned out to hurt each other badly. Though today we are actually great friends. I still struggle mentally every so often because of the transition of lover to friend... especially with some of her actions. Today at drama practice she kept poking me, and pushing me when we were getting into position and stuff. basically what you would call flirting. And she always stares at me anymore with weird eyes. I don't get it, she calls me, stops by my house, worries about me. And she is married to another dude. She seems so confused lately, and very competitive with me. I think she realized she cared more about me than she thought she did. Not my problem I guess. God has a plan for me, and this girl I am talking to just may be it, but I aint jumping the gun, that hurts too much I learned.

    But I wouldn't change it I don't think...I have learned what it meant to stand on my own two legs, I have learned what pain is and how to overcome. I have learned how to love those you want to hate, I have learned to stand no matter the weight placed on your shoulders. I have seen truth in lies, and lies in truth. I have seen what it takes to be a leader. This is training, this is how you become born of Fire, this is how you stand out in the world. And this goes for you too Suncloud, and every one who tries their hardest to love, show love, and care for others. I am happy to have you posting in this log.

  19. About today, I had a little sleep last night, but seriously it was awesome. The longer I am on this stuff, on my 8 hour nights I get so recharged the next day I want to overtrain, and on days with less hours I wake up and still have the energy to go all day, and then some.

    I had to get up at 7:30 to go help my sis move. We moved her from Columbus to Oxford, a 2 and a half hour drive down and back >.< OY

    After that I had to come back and learn our new drama we are doing when we go to Mexico, of which we are leaving for the 9th.

    I am Jesus in the drama actually.... I was driving back from Oxford and Kayla called(which BTW is my ex...) because we were having practice from 2-8, though I couldn't get there till 4. But she informed me I was the main character, Jesus. I have to do a lot....there is a lot to portray, and I have NEVER done a human video before. Make a leap of faith is my opinion now. I got a lot of compliments because people have never seen me act, and this is a human video so its not really talking, but lip singing to the song and acting it out.

    Every prop is made out of people, the cross is 3 girls, the tomb is a bunch of people lined up. It startes out with the last supper, then the prayer in the garden where I struggle to come to terms, then I get beaten down and trashed by the soldiers, strapped up and beaten with the whip. Then they cut me lose, slam me to the cross and drive the nails through my hand. When I finally die ans the mary's are crying at my feet I fall back into the cross which the guys are behind and it turns into the tomb. Then as the song busts out, The doors slips away and they launch me a good 7 feet into the air and I land and raise my arms to praise God, and run to the mary's to greet them, then look around at everyone and end the song with an arm lowered to them and one raise to God.

    WHEW......and the song is in spanish......lol.

    A side note..... a year ago I wouldn't do this, I would be afraid, unsure, doubt myself. Again....this is a reason why I wouldn't change a thing. I earned respect from people, trust from them, and I have esteem and personal courage and trust in myself. God knows what he is doing.....there is no doubt about that. I never thought I would be Jesus in a human video, the main person every one watches. But I am blessed to have a chance to give glory to God in an amazing way.

    ZMK played a big role in all of this, it took alot of energy to be running and doing all this from 7 am to 8pm, it was more work than my job lol. I hate driving btw, so 5 hours in the car I was going insane I was thinking about tonight's sleep all day I usually hate sleep because it would always suck, but something about somnidren GH and ZMK make it addictive. I dont wake up in the middle of it, I dont toss and turn. I pass out, and wake up thinking, oh God I want to go running. Which btw my legs are doing great, tendinitis wise. My movements have been pain free, flexibility is returning. I think though I can accredit part of this to the stack. Sleep is the time they would be doing most of their healing. I think the increase in GH and testosterone probably sped up the process. It was kinda stale mated for awhile until I started this stack. Kudos!!!!

    I am really pumped to train hardcore on Tuesday. Though halfway through this week will finish my stack off....all good things come to an end, no?

    My winter bulk will include ZMK for sure somnidren GH I don't know about yet, though I love my warm feeling and that instant relaxed feeling you get about 12 minutes after taking it. This stuff has busted away so much stress, and I actually enjoy the 5-20 minutes before I fall asleep because I can just relax and have good thoughts. Sleep is like having a good book to read anymore, always enjoyable period. And the dreams I have decided to write down when I can lol.

    My left leg is bandaged where I slid in softball and sandblasted the skin away lol....owies. All good though!

    Feeling great btw, over my lil spaz from last sunday-whatever
    day it took lol.

    I cant wait for cardio monday. Softball is over so tuesday will be an all out lifting day. 8 hours sleep the night before, tear it up!!!

    Sun I do appreciate how you gave your all as input, your a great guy man.

    Thanks for the support to CTDeuce.

    AM is a one of a kind place.

  20. the support will always be there...log or not. Goes for you also Suncloud. Anytime you need to talk.

    No thanks necessary Zero..just keep your chin up.
    Millennium Sport Technologies Representative/Sponsored Athlete
    www.millenniumsport.net

  21. keep it up man ! good ****!

  22. hey - quick question for you about zmk / somnidren GH. recently my sleep has been jacked because of the aforementioned problems. i either

    1 - wake up 10-15 times a night
    2 - sleep for 10-11 hours (wtf is up with that)

    i need to get my sleep down to 7-8 hours of good sleep like i was doing. 10 hours of sleep and i feel like i'm missing out on my life. which of these products (i have to use a friends credit card because of the stupid identity theft problem i'm having) would you recommend the most?

    p.s. congrats on your part for the play.

  23. Quote Originally Posted by suncloud View Post
    hey - quick question for you about zmk / somnidren GH. recently my sleep has been jacked because of the aforementioned problems. i either

    1 - wake up 10-15 times a night
    2 - sleep for 10-11 hours (wtf is up with that)

    i need to get my sleep down to 7-8 hours of good sleep like i was doing. 10 hours of sleep and i feel like i'm missing out on my life. which of these products (i have to use a friends credit card because of the stupid identity theft problem i'm having) would you recommend the most?

    p.s. congrats on your part for the play.
    The reason you are sleeping 10-11 hours is because of a mild depression as well as how depleted your body and mind are becoming due to such extremely high levels if stress, IMO. I used to do that kind of sleep when I was depressed, things just seem like a break when you dont have to deal with reality.

    The waking up part would also be due to that, and contribute to the need of 10-11. Anything over 8 except during a time of recover can kind of be unhealthy.

    ZMK and Somnidren GH worked good for balancing my sleep, I dont wake up unless I have a super urge to use the rest room, but that usually waits till mornin. ZMK alone does wonders for producing great sleep, so you could probably just try that out and see if it helps. It will give you crazy dreams, but that is sometimes our minds getting out the issues that bother us.

  24. yeah, i figured it was stress related. then i get stressed about sleeping too much. lol. silly brain. will try and order some ZMK and see if i can regulate my sleep a bit better. thanks brotha.

  25. What do you eat before going to sleep?
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