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    Quote Originally Posted by snagencyV2.0 View Post
    i agree
    either make marriage the solemn vow that it was meant to be (abolish divorce, until death do us part as you say)..
    or, abolish the idea of marriage and just be roommates

    in a little bit different category but much the same insofar as it's still broken:

    lots of old-time ideals are broken today..like our government, the political organizations..the electoral system..basic old-fashioned morals & values....
    (oh don't get me started)
    Agree to an extent. Biblicaly speaking, you dont live with girlfriend until married, hence wife- not living in sin. But, we all know to keep biblical and political views out of subject

    But i do agree to an extent with you snag
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    Quote Originally Posted by tyga tyga View Post
    Agree to an extent. Biblicaly speaking, you dont live with girlfriend until married, hence wife- not living in sin. But, we all know to keep biblical and political views out of subject

    But i do agree to an extent with you snag
    i do understand where you are coming from

    the institution of marriage has been around just a wee bit longer than the other institutions i mention LOL

    a vow is a vow..is not something you decide one day "eh, changed my mind"
    part of the issue of course is that the idea of marriage - at the outset - is no longer held in reverence by the masses
    and this is in part propogated by the financial incentives our society places on marriage..

    let's get married! you can get on my insurance and we can get a tax break!
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    Quote Originally Posted by snagencyV2.0 View Post
    i do understand where you are coming from

    the institution of marriage has been around just a wee bit longer than the other institutions i mention LOL

    a vow is a vow..is not something you decide one day "eh, changed my mind"
    part of the issue of course is that the idea of marriage - at the outset - is no longer held in reverence by the masses
    and this is in part propogated by the financial incentives our society places on marriage..

    let's get married! you can get on my insurance and we can get a tax break!
    The idea of marriage was originally instituted to keep track of bloodlines in isolated communities to minimize in breeding. Marriage as a religious institution came quite a bit later, but was just a way for religion to absorb the dominant culture. Similar to the christian holidays being synchronized with western European pagan holidays (ie Christmas=yule, all-saints day=samhain, easter=spring equinox). It was very common practice to make evangelism easier. So I might contend that marriage, just like holiday timing, is more of a social and economic issue in Christianity rather than a theological one.

    Just my 2
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    I was just listening to a speaker talk about just this subject- he suggested the concept of marriage ties into the idea property ownership. He was talking early tribal behavior and thr "advance" into civilized culture.

    If the men didn't know the child was or wasn't theirs, they would be more apt to support the tribe and all children, as any of them might be his
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    Quote Originally Posted by LizKing531 View Post
    I was just listening to a speaker talk about just this subject- he suggested the concept of marriage ties into the idea property ownership. He was talking early tribal behavior and thr "advance" into civilized culture.

    If the men didn't know the child was or wasn't theirs, they would be more apt to support the tribe and all children, as any of them might be his
    Yeah exactly my point
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    interesting concepts
    funny, how change is constant, always constant..and you're right of course, marriage is more than just love and uniting

    but - if the base idea of marriage is not two ppl making a lifetime commitment to one another, a vow to stay together till death do us part, then change the damn wording

    honesty and vows and giving someone "your word" still mean something to this guy
    (the divorce was not my idea, fyi)
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    What marriage is supposed to be is the ultimate partnership between a man and a woman. It protects the family. Everybody has to know and respect their roles though. God loves the family and he wants it to be strong because it's the best defence against evil. Just look at the declime in North American society then look at the family ... yah now you see the problem. God has ways of communicating these things to us but you have to listen. Everybody knows what is right in their hearts a lot just choose to deny it. Denial is a pretty strong drug.

    I would rather spend time with my wife than any person I have ever met. Simply doing nothing but relaxng and watching T.V. or reading a book is always a good time when I am with her. I enjoy every moment. I respect and admire her and she's loads of fun. The trust you have in a good marriage is irreplaceable. Don't know why a person would not want that. You just have to find the right person and be the right person. The one you were meant to be.
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    Quote Originally Posted by DreamWeaver View Post
    The one you were meant to be.
    i enjoyed your post immensely DW, very well written

    even taking take religion out of there, "ultimate partnership" can still be the ideal
    i'm not looking to hash over theology (as tyga said, avoid religion and politics lol) but marriage can certainly exist without a base of religion

    what i will say for me, personally, is i have a problem with the concept you state above, the one you were meant to be with
    i have a problem with such predeterminate belief..leads to the conclusion that everything has already been mapped out for us, and intellectually i just cannot buy into that, at all
    (yes my ex did in fact have this same frustrating outlook - one of her favorite sayings is "whatever is meant to be, will be"....bleh)


    BD gonna come back and be all what happened to my thread? lol
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    Quote Originally Posted by snagencyV2.0 View Post
    i enjoyed your post immensely DW, very well written

    even taking take religion out of there, "ultimate partnership" can still be the ideal
    i'm not looking to hash over theology (as tyga said, avoid religion and politics lol) but marriage can certainly exist without a base of religion

    what i will say for me, personally, is i have a problem with the concept you state above, the one you were meant to be with
    i have a problem with such predeterminate belief..leads to the conclusion that everything has already been mapped out for us, and intellectually i just cannot buy into that, at all
    (yes my ex did in fact have this same frustrating outlook - one of her favorite sayings is "whatever is meant to be, will be"....bleh)


    BD gonna come back and be all what happened to my thread? lol
    It's just another way of saying be yourself whatever that ends up being. Find out who you are and be it...that's more of what I meant. I can be a wise old fugger if I put my mind to it. My wife might say wise azz.. though lol we like to kid Never take ourselves to seriously that's really important.

    Here's a few things I know we were all meant to be though, strong but fair. Caring and loving but be willing to stand up for our Family. Considerate of other peoples feelings. Confident and humble at the same time. Flexible yet firm in our reslove. Helpfull even when being a assistance requires we do not get involved. We all have these thing in us, it's up to us to realize it and live it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by DreamWeaver View Post
    What marriage is supposed to be is the ultimate partnership between a man and a woman. It protects the family. Everybody has to know and respect their roles though. God loves the family and he wants it to be strong because it's the best defence against evil. Just look at the declime in North American society then look at the family ... yah now you see the problem. God has ways of communicating these things to us but you have to listen. Everybody knows what is right in their hearts a lot just choose to deny it. Denial is a pretty strong drug.

    I would rather spend time with my wife than any person I have ever met. Simply doing nothing but relaxng and watching T.V. or reading a book is always a good time when I am with her. I enjoy every moment. I respect and admire her and she's loads of fun. The trust you have in a good marriage is irreplaceable. Don't know why a person would not want that. You just have to find the right person and be the right person. The one you were meant to be.
    Quote Originally Posted by snagencyV2.0 View Post
    i enjoyed your post immensely DW, very well written

    even taking take religion out of there, "ultimate partnership" can still be the ideal
    i'm not looking to hash over theology (as tyga said, avoid religion and politics lol) but marriage can certainly exist without a base of religion

    what i will say for me, personally, is i have a problem with the concept you state above, the one you were meant to be with
    i have a problem with such predeterminate belief..leads to the conclusion that everything has already been mapped out for us, and intellectually i just cannot buy into that, at all
    (yes my ex did in fact have this same frustrating outlook - one of her favorite sayings is "whatever is meant to be, will be"....bleh)


    BD gonna come back and be all what happened to my thread? lol
    I agree, this was an excellent post with a lot of wisdom.

    I think you're getting mired in the details, Snags. If you were to boil down the meaning of DW's post this is what you might take away from it:

    Faith in something greater than yourselves can be a constant common thread in your relationship that will keep you from growing apart. This can be faith in god, faith in your common purpose together, or whatever.

    "Meant to be" is not necessarily a fatalistic statement if you take it to mean one that could have been made for you, and just speaks to that level of compatibility that, when it's not there, we often know but refuse to admit.
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    snags has been known to get bogged down by small detail, surely

    awesome stuff guys - cswalczakny, absolutely purrfekt, in explaining those points..and i get that, really
    some ppl however take the predetermination route a little more literal than what you describe here tho
    my ex - she truly did believe things will just fall into her lap..that everything would work itself out
    as a guy who has a bit of a controlling personality (just the way i am), this drove me mad
    if there's one thing i've learned in life, it's that if you want something, you need to take control and go get it
    now obviously, that needs to be tempered by the reality of success of what your goals/wants/needs are, but it's just the kind of person i am.. driven, intense, refuse to fail

    this did not mean, specifically, that my ex and i were incompatible..i truly thought the issues we had, were all solvable and fixable, with a little work..there just came a point, that she absolutely refused to work toward common goals
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    Quote Originally Posted by snagencyV2.0 View Post
    snags has been known to get bogged down by small detail, surely

    awesome stuff guys - cswalczakny, absolutely purrfekt, in explaining those points..and i get that, really
    some ppl however take the predetermination route a little more literal than what you describe here tho
    my ex - she truly did believe things will just fall into her lap..that everything would work itself out
    as a guy who has a bit of a controlling personality (just the way i am), this drove me mad
    if there's one thing i've learned in life, it's that if you want something, you need to take control and go get it
    now obviously, that needs to be tempered by the reality of success of what your goals/wants/needs are, but it's just the kind of person i am.. driven, intense, refuse to fail

    this did not mean, specifically, that my ex and i were incompatible..i truly thought the issues we had, were all solvable and fixable, with a little work
    there just came a point, that she absolutely refused to work toward common goals
    Yah you have a good way of looking at it, sounds like she's the one that gave up. Some people are so afraid of improving they will sabotage and that's kind of what it sounds like to me. I feel the fear too we all do but you can't let that stop you.
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    Quote Originally Posted by snagencyV2.0 View Post
    snags has been known to get bogged down by small detail, surely

    awesome stuff guys - cswalczakny, absolutely purrfekt, in explaining those points..and i get that, really
    some ppl however take the predetermination route a little more literal than what you describe here tho
    my ex - she truly did believe things will just fall into her lap..that everything would work itself out
    as a guy who has a bit of a controlling personality (just the way i am), this drove me mad
    if there's one thing i've learned in life, it's that if you want something, you need to take control and go get it
    now obviously, that needs to be tempered by the reality of success of what your goals/wants/needs are, but it's just the kind of person i am.. driven, intense, refuse to fail

    this did not mean, specifically, that my ex and i were incompatible..i truly thought the issues we had, were all solvable and fixable, with a little work..there just came a point, that she absolutely refused to work toward common goals
    I hear ya, man. Sometimes my wife takes that "everything happens for a reason" idea to an extreme. But I realize it's just to make herself feel better about being out of control of a situation, more than it is about actually believing that everything is predetermined. I get frustrated by it sometimes too when I'm not thinking.
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    Quote Originally Posted by DreamWeaver View Post
    Yah you have a good way of looking at it, sounds like she's the one that gave up. Some people are so afraid of improving they will sabotage and that's kind of what it sounds like to me. I feel the fear too we all do but you can't let that stop you.
    well all know people like that, they are the ones that thrive on drama and stress and try to bring everyone around them down for their own entertainment. what a weird and unfulfilling way to go through life.
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    Quote Originally Posted by DreamWeaver View Post
    Some people are so afraid of improving they will sabotage and that's kind of what it sounds like to me..
    that is more intuitive than you know, my friend

    eh..marriage is tough
    17yrs..we had our good times, surely
    rest assured tho - all you guys who say "yeah i said i'd never get married again and now here i am" (or - worse yet "yeah i said i'd never get married again - but that was 3 wives ago" ) -- you can put it in the bank, snags will not be walking down that aisle. ever. again.
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    Quote Originally Posted by snagencyV2.0 View Post
    -- you can put it in the bank, snags will not be walking down that aisle. ever. again.
    Making note of this declaration: if you break this vow you have to provide an entire cycle plus supports for me! Care to take me up on this "bet"? Seriously, you are a good looking guy that will find a good woman! Takes time to heal and you'll be smiling from ear to ear in the next relationship.
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    Quote Originally Posted by kenpoengineer View Post
    Making note of this declaration: if you break this vow you have to provide an entire cycle plus supports for me! Care to take me up on this "bet"? Seriously, you are a good looking guy that will find a good woman! Takes time to heal and you'll be smiling from ear to ear in the next relationship.
    nahh - i've decided to be gay going forward

    pffft..
    who said anything about not finding a woman, or having a relationship?

    i simply said, there will be no more mrs snags in this world
    we can make all the bets you care to, whatever you feel you can afford to lose my friend
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    Quote Originally Posted by snagencyV2.0 View Post
    we can make all the bets you care to, whatever you feel you can afford to lose my friend
    Can't afford to lose muscle! Lol. All the best to you for the future my friend!

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    Not everybody needs to get married to have an excellent relationship. It's there or it's not, some people feel more comfortable in a Mariage I got Married to honor my current wife. I am her champion and I will do anything to prove it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by DreamWeaver View Post
    Not everybody needs to get married to have an excellent relationship. It's there or it's not, some people feel more comfortable in a Mariage I got Married to honor my current wife. I am her champion and I will do anything to prove it.
    Love that line Doug!
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    The old debate on marriage. Lol. Not for some, great for others... I'll leave it at that. The bond btwn my wife and I is strong and I really see no reason now why it would ever break. That said we don't have kids yet, that'll change everything for better or worse!
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    indeed - kids change everything
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    Quote Originally Posted by PalmFist View Post
    The old debate on marriage. Lol. Not for some, great for others... I'll leave it at that. The bond btwn my wife and I is strong and I really see no reason now why it would ever break. That said we don't have kids yet, that'll change everything for better or worse!
    Lmao!!! It's not marriage until kids are in picture!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by snagencyV2.0 View Post
    indeed - kids change everything
    Quote Originally Posted by bcazo View Post

    Lmao!!! It's not marriage until kids are in picture!!
    So true...
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    Asked a buddy at work what his plans were for this weekend and he says, "Idk, probably nothin. We used to go out and do stuff all the time. You know, before we had kids."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hyde View Post
    Asked a buddy at work what his plans were for this weekend and he says, "Idk, probably nothin. We used to go out and do stuff all the time. You know, before we had kids."

    Ohhhh the story of my life. When my wife can find us a sitter we try to make up for the lost weekends and normally do pretty well
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    Quote Originally Posted by snagencyV2.0 View Post
    indeed - kids change everything
    So friggin true.
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    That's one of the first things my wife and I connected on when we were dating- not breeding
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    Quote Originally Posted by LizKing531 View Post
    That's one of the first things my wife and I connected on when we were dating- not breeding
    Not everybody is cut out for being a parent, but it is probably the best way to grow as a human being. I could not have developed spiritually without raising kids, hek I would likely be dead now. Yah it's the most difficult thing you will ever do, but there is really no easier softer way and that is true in all things. The harder something is the greater the benefit.

    Funny I am glad I got through it but a lot of the times I'd give anything to have my babies in my lap again. Being a dad is the best thing I have ever done and it doesn't stop now, I just miss some of the good times.
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    Quote Originally Posted by DreamWeaver View Post

    Not everybody is cut out for being a parent, but it is probably the best way to grow as a human being. I could not have developed spiritually without raising kids, hek I would likely be dead now. Yah it's the most difficult thing you will ever do, but there is really no easier softer way and that is true in all things. The harder something is the greater the benefit.

    Funny I am glad I got through it but a lot of the times I'd give anything to have my babies in my lap again. Being a dad is the best thing I have ever done and it doesn't stop now, I just miss some of the good times.
    Still have 12 weeks(or less) to go, before I become a dad.....counting the weeks....
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    Quote Originally Posted by edje007 View Post
    Still have 12 weeks(or less) to go, before I become a dad.....counting the weeks....
    Congrats you will be a good Dad and when you are taxed and questioning yourself remember this post and the old fugger told you you were going to be ok....
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    Quote Originally Posted by DreamWeaver View Post

    Congrats you will be a good Dad and when you are taxed and questioning yourself remember this post and the old fugger told you you were going to be ok....
    Thanks DW....Really looking forward to my baby girl....will do my best to be super dad....
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    BD is MIA
    forgot what thread i was in for a minute
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    Quote Originally Posted by snagencyV2.0 View Post
    BD is MIA
    forgot what thread i was in for a minute
    yeah hope he's doing ok
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    Quote Originally Posted by snagencyV2.0 View Post
    BD is MIA
    forgot what thread i was in for a minute
    BD? Baby daddy? Wait....what?
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3clipseGT View Post

    BD? Baby daddy? Wait....what?
    Lolz...
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3clipseGT View Post

    BD? Baby daddy? Wait....what?
    I'm still not paying you child support.....
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoneDaddy View Post
    I'm still not paying you child support.....
    He's Alive!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by bcazo View Post

    He's Alive!!!
    Yeah....sorry for the disappearance. I'll get into it later, but im alive and kicking and back in here!
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoneDaddy View Post
    I'm still not paying you child support.....
    there he is! Welcome back BD
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