Uh.. that is a pretty dumb thing to do. Taking 4-AD for a few days and then stopping, and then starting again. Your test levels are going up and down and up and down.
At 5'11" and 185lbs, you are pretty damn small for 3.5 years of lifting, not to mention having a few PH cycles under your belt. I think you should re-evaluate your training/dieting before you think about doing another cycle of anything.
With that, when you ARE ready, I suggest testosterone propionate. I don't understand how you can get panic attacks from hightened testosterone levels though. Maybe you have anxiety problems.