madhattr
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37 years old. 6'2. 240 lbs. Back in early May I had bloodwork done to get an overall health check. I was irritable, not confident, low sex drive, no motivation, etc. Got my results.
Total testosterone = 180 Sex Hormone Binding Globulin = 19.8 Free testosterone = 44
NP recommended Androgel or Axiron. I wasn't very receptive to either one because of having teen children and the wife who does our laundry and touches everything. I brought up injectables and she was not very receptive to that idea and told me that she didn't know much about TRT. Injectables seemed easier and cheaper. So, then she decided to refer me to a endocrinologist for further testing after I inquired about injectables. The earliest he could see me was the end of August. I was really feeling low and not motivated at all. I ended up with a bottle of test cyp and self administered. I am injecting .25/ml twice a week for a total of 100mg/week. Seen a big difference. Mood, motivation, sex, etc.
I stopped about two weeks ago because I know the endocrinologist visit is coming. Thought maybe I could get an idea of what to expect being off. The last few days have been horrible. I could not make decisions, my cognitive skills were almost obsolete, I was confused on everything I did, I was very down and hopeless. I was completely lost. I took off work for two days off because I didn't feel confident in my abilities. I decided I could not take that so I re-started the injections. I definitely feel better. Not yet back to where I was yet, but definitely clearer.
Here's the dilemma: I'm scheduled to go back to my NP for a checkup tomorrow. She's not going to do any testing. I am not sure what I can discuss with either the NP or endo when discussed. I would love to be able to tell them the situation and they tell me to quit taking illegal and prescribe me TRT instead of me having to self-diagnose. It's not like I'm taking huge amounts of test. I just want to feel normal, happy, and confident. This seems to have helped tremendously. I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. Am I going to have to keep going the way I am going or is there a way to go legit now? That will probably decide for me whether I keep my endo appointment or not. I will probably cancel if there is no way to come clean. I am sure if he tests me now, my tests levels would come back improved and he's not going to prescribe me anything. But, I know there is now way I can stop and go back to feeling like I did this past week. I can't afford to lose my job because I can't function correctly and make good judgement calls.
Hindsight is always 20/20, but I wish I would have just dealt with the previous symptoms until August.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Total testosterone = 180 Sex Hormone Binding Globulin = 19.8 Free testosterone = 44
NP recommended Androgel or Axiron. I wasn't very receptive to either one because of having teen children and the wife who does our laundry and touches everything. I brought up injectables and she was not very receptive to that idea and told me that she didn't know much about TRT. Injectables seemed easier and cheaper. So, then she decided to refer me to a endocrinologist for further testing after I inquired about injectables. The earliest he could see me was the end of August. I was really feeling low and not motivated at all. I ended up with a bottle of test cyp and self administered. I am injecting .25/ml twice a week for a total of 100mg/week. Seen a big difference. Mood, motivation, sex, etc.
I stopped about two weeks ago because I know the endocrinologist visit is coming. Thought maybe I could get an idea of what to expect being off. The last few days have been horrible. I could not make decisions, my cognitive skills were almost obsolete, I was confused on everything I did, I was very down and hopeless. I was completely lost. I took off work for two days off because I didn't feel confident in my abilities. I decided I could not take that so I re-started the injections. I definitely feel better. Not yet back to where I was yet, but definitely clearer.
Here's the dilemma: I'm scheduled to go back to my NP for a checkup tomorrow. She's not going to do any testing. I am not sure what I can discuss with either the NP or endo when discussed. I would love to be able to tell them the situation and they tell me to quit taking illegal and prescribe me TRT instead of me having to self-diagnose. It's not like I'm taking huge amounts of test. I just want to feel normal, happy, and confident. This seems to have helped tremendously. I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. Am I going to have to keep going the way I am going or is there a way to go legit now? That will probably decide for me whether I keep my endo appointment or not. I will probably cancel if there is no way to come clean. I am sure if he tests me now, my tests levels would come back improved and he's not going to prescribe me anything. But, I know there is now way I can stop and go back to feeling like I did this past week. I can't afford to lose my job because I can't function correctly and make good judgement calls.
Hindsight is always 20/20, but I wish I would have just dealt with the previous symptoms until August.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.