yup, it's official, I'm a puzzy

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gibbob2

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Yup, i chickened out and guess I will be a natty forever. i spend oodles of money and ordered tons of gear, all the antiestrogens, a bulk lot of 100 syringes and needles..

I patiently waited (almost stalked) the mail man till it all arrived.... and just now i had the syringe locked and loaded with 250mg of test e and squirted it down the ****1ng drain.

a part of me is mad, almost furious... it seems like everyone is doing it, why can't i bring myself to? It's just a needle.... A needle that will guarentee I see more results from the thing I LOVE doing. I live to train, and test would have simply made it easier! and more fun.

Before I knew it I had the needle bent in half and the rest of the gear in the garbage.

i figured I would post this in the chemical enhancement thread but knew I would get made fun of... the ever so popular line "wipe the sand out of your vag and inject your test" keeps mocking me.

This is were it gets morally confusing... i have no gripe with prohormones. I have taken them....(and logged them here, with great success) and yes i KNOW THEY ARE STEROIDS... but why is it not the same?

Anyway, I gotta take the garbage out guys.... maybe the garbage man will show up jacked next month!
 
crader

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I would get it out of the garbage and give it another go. It takes time to be able to inject yourself. But if you keep the stuff then you can try again later.
 
gibbob2

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ya i know, what the **** did I do. I can't believe it myself. i had two 10ml vials of test e and 40 amps with 250mg each.

It's a sad day, yet I feel relieved for some reason... and yet I want to start taking havoc again now. i don't get it. Hense the posting and the moral dilema.
 
raginfcktard

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thats crazy talk....how much you want for it???
 
holyintellect

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I have been around this my entire adult life, and I still dont like to give myself injections...if that is the only part holding you up, dont feel bad....if its other reasons, then hey, stand strong to whatever you feel is the right thing morally.

holy
 
gibbob2

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I have been around this my entire adult life, and I still dont like to give myself injections...if that is the only part holding you up, dont feel bad....if its other reasons, then hey, stand strong to whatever you feel is the right thing morally.

holy
THanks man. I honestly don;t think i could have injected even if it was just water... so I guess that just answered my own question. I also feel better because the wifey didn't know, and yaya I'm a panzy, but I don't like doing stuff behind her back.
 
raginfcktard

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THanks man. I honestly don;t think i could have injected even if it was just water... so I guess that just answered my own question. I also feel better because the wifey didn't know, and yaya I'm a panzy, but I don't like doing stuff behind her back.
i am getting ready for a cycle and don't think i could pin myself either...even if i could i'd still rather someone else do it. also nothing is worth jeperdizing your family over so maybe it was a good idea. have you considered talking ot her about it...she might be ok with it if she really knows how much you care about your goals. i see that as a bigger hurdle than injecting yourself!
 
motive

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my wife just recently found out about me using. she was more upset that i kept it from her than the fact i was doing it.
 
crazyfool405

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get it out of the garbage now! do something other then waste it,


i mean, im sure a lot of people will take it off ur hands,

including yours truly lol!

it happens man. give it time, find some one to inject for you show u the correct prcedures, and then see what happens from there.
 
Usf97j4x4

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Wow its a good thing your not diabetic. It doesnt even hurt and its a hell of a lot easier to hide IMO.

Wipe the san.. err well, whatever.
 
Big BAMA

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Wow, I......... would love to have that problem. Throw your trash my way!
 
lennoxchi

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let me see, you decided NOT to do something illegal, try and do right by your woman, keeping and eye on your future.....and you call yourself a "P"? i don't get that one, sounds to me like your trying to not be a "P". i might feel the same way, but i would never put people or my future in front of a drug again in my life. been there done that, not cool. sounds like you made the same decision, this is more than just poking yourself with a pin.
 
pistonpump

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why you would just throw it out after u paid for it is beyond me. WTF. You must be rich, a rich bitc.....oops sorry my bad. At least try to get some money back from it!
 
gibbob2

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Thanks for all the comments... From the money perspective I am far from rich, this was a cycle i saved up for, so ya that sucks (but I have yet to regret it)

The wifey and I will have that talk one of these days... She knows I am educated and aware. and she has said MANY times take whatever the hell you want as long as it is "LEGAL".

That just happens to tie back into why it is tossed and not re-sold.... I am new to america (from canada, relax) and the last thing I want is to get that pinned (no pun intended) on my record. I would get the boot. and thus seriously jeopordize the family.
 
99vorsi

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No Fu$@@# way I just tried today to!!!! I couldn't do it now I'm looking at throwing 2 FU%&^% vials of Sust. away I'm so pissed I sit there 10 mins telling myself it wont be that bad but I couldnt do it know I mad as hell!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Usf97j4x4

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No Fu$@@# way I just tried today to!!!! I couldn't do it now I'm looking at throwing 2 FU%&^% vials of Sust. away I'm so pissed I sit there 10 mins telling myself it wont be that bad but I couldnt do it know I mad as hell!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh god its contagious.
 
gibbob2

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same thing man. i had it warmed up, I had the spot all cleaned with alcohol, the whole nine hards...

but lennoxchi is right, when it boiled down to it, it's way more then just poking yourself with a pin. at least for me.
 
Jayhawkk

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Man, buying it is risky enough but selling it too? I'd trash the stuff, just as you did if I decided not to take it.
 
99vorsi

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Yea, I heated up the vial drawed the syringe and just sit there staring at it for about 5 mins and then rocked the needle back and forth almost poking the skin for another 5 mins. Telling myself how much I wanted it and how easy its gonna be but I couldnt.
 
Usf97j4x4

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:toofunny:
Nggahh... must... resist... negging.... gahhh :lol:

Just get someone else to do it if you can't. I had a doctor friend give me my first and show me how to do it, after that its cake.
 
99vorsi

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Please end an argument between me and friend he says I could have put the sust back in the vial since the needle never entered my body he thinks I could have just wiped it off with a cotton ball with alcohol and put it back in the vial he's wrong right???
 
somewhatgifted

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ITs not for everyone, its better to toss it now than to find out its not for you half way though a cycle. Money comes an money goes but the lesson you learned about yourself lasts forever. I would not go from a guy who doesnt wanna pin to a steroid dealer.
 
crader

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Please end an argument between me and friend he says I could have put the sust back in the vial since the needle never entered my body he thinks I could have just wiped it off with a cotton ball with alcohol and put it back in the vial he's wrong right???
Technically it should be considered contaminated and thrown out.
 
Usf97j4x4

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Technically it should be considered contaminated and thrown out.
I agree 100% junk it. It could get bits of the stopper in it, outside contamination, you just never know.
 
motive

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Technically it should be considered contaminated and thrown out.
craders right, technicaly
anything that exits the plunger top is contaminated butttt.... i would of still used it.
 
crader

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craders right, technicaly
anything that exits the plunger top is contaminated butttt.... i would of still used it.
LOL me too, but there is still that one in a million chance. However sterile solution, sterile needle, nothing touched, well I would still consider it sterile .
 
motive

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ive done worse....
as long as you arent droping the syringe and playing the 5 second rule followed by the 10 second rule then its most likely ok
 
AZMIDLYF

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Never look back and regret...Look back and smile at what you have Learned!!
 
99vorsi

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Yea, I think it could be b/c no one knows what it looks like in these labs that make this stuff. Also crackheads shoot up all the time doing all kinds of stupid stuff and their still here :think: just b/c it touched air wouldnt make it bad. Also by swabbing the needle and top of the vial before reinjecting into the bottle would kill anything.
 
gibbob2

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why so concerned ^^^ you reselling? or gonna give it another go?
 
poopypants

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Man, buying it is risky enough but selling it too? I'd trash the stuff, just as you did if I decided not to take it.
dont sell it. as jay said thats just asking for trouble.

If you have any close friends then you should just GIVE it to them, maybe they will return the favor and you can get something more fitting for your set of morals. Given you just got here from canada I don tknow this is an option even... .I wouldnt even risk shipping it to any of these guys here, as reliable as they may be a package with you origin will have to pass through far too many others hands and that just gives all the more chances for something to go wrong.

In the end you made a wise decision if you cant bring yourself to just use it, I respect that.... just too bad you had to wait this long to realize it...

I would have probably tried to just salvage it somewhat and bought some transdermal carrier (like penetrate from NP) and that way its no longer an injection issue and you can toss the suspicous vials and get SOMETHING from all that dough you spent... as crappy as they may be.... do it with the epi/havoc your craving...
 
warbird01

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Anyone inject themselves who is deathly scared of needles?

Im a ways off from running my first cycle, but i am so scared of needles.

And its not cause im a "pussy", its like being afraid of heights, i cant help it.
 
99vorsi

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yea I think I'm gonna give it another go. How long its the vial good for once opened.
 
holyintellect

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There are lots and lots of reasons guys decide to gear up....The single worst thing I think you can do though is hide it from your spouse. There is no way you can justify that to me.

I think its mucho commendable for those guys who WANT to juice, but dont.....there is no shame in that. Because lets face it, the easy thing to do is just get on the sauce.

holy
 
gibbob2

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so I think all in all it was a good day... yeah I threw my money away... and now that I am done patting myself on the back for tossing it I have slowly begun kicking myself in the nads for blowing the cash.

Either way wifey will come home tongiht and I will be able to look her in the eye and smile... and if I get the urge, I will tell her what actually happened. Either way we are gonna veg out on a pizza and I am going to go pick up some havoc. I prepped and primed for a cycle, so damnit, I am gonna cycle SOMETHING!
 
holyintellect

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so I think all in all it was a good day... yeah I threw my money away... and now that I am done patting myself on the back for tossing it I have slowly begun kicking myself in the nads for blowing the cash.

Either way wifey will come home tongiht and I will be able to look her in the eye and smile... and if I get the urge, I will tell her what actually happened. Either way we are gonna veg out on a pizza and I am going to go pick up some havoc. I prepped and primed for a cycle, so damnit, I am gonna cycle SOMETHING!
:thumbsup:
 
andro69

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I guess you're just not ready for the world of big gains. jk. But seriously, the best way to conquer your fears is to face them head on. Just saying
 
99vorsi

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are the gains that much better than mdrol b/c I have that already on hand too.???
 
poopypants

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are the gains that much better than mdrol b/c I have that already on hand too.???
I would say they are more maintainable but in all honesty If you know what the F you are doing with your PCT and your diet hten the gains are just as maintainable with m-drol....


The biggest issue is the health risk involved. Mdrol is a highly toxic designer steroid wheras test enth is a more natural hormone and is alot less likely to have any hidden or obvious health risks..... I would personally just run the enth and kick it off with 2 or three weeks of the mdrol.... JMO.
 
edwards

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I commend you for tossing it. hopefully you didn't have to "steal" the cash from the family in order to pay for it. regardless, you learned a good lesson so the money was well spent.

if we are lying about steroid use to our significant others, are we any different than a common dope fiend?
 
gibbob2

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ya, i had it all worked up that I wasn;t going to be lying... just not telling her. I am not trying to sell it now, thats just what I was planning on doing. but hey, no worries.
 
99vorsi

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My wife already knew I had mine but I have sustagen 300 how much better gains is that than mdrol????
 
poopypants

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My wife already knew I had mine but I have sustagen 300 how much better gains is that than mdrol????
I dont think you can just compare them on gains alone... plus how long and at what dose were you trying to run it at?


The gains will come on slower (typically ran 8-16 weeks) with the sust but the overal effects will be better more healthy and more maintainable. The gains from Mdrol will come on fast (typically ran 3-5 weeks) if taken correctly with an adequate diet with enough complex carbs (mdrol thrives in high carb environment) and protien then you can likely achieve the same gains but they will be harder to maintain and you will be much more likely to experience sever sides.
 
datBtrue

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Gib I am so proud of you! Unbelievably proud.

Clearly you didn't want to do it...that's why you bent the pin & tossed the lot. You didn't want to live in a way that was dishonest to your wife. You didn't want to have to look over your shoulder. You are an honorable man and you are true to your core.

Don't denigrate yourself ...respect that guy you see in the mirror. It took courage and conviction.

You discovered something about your self. What ever it was...it was something that added rather than detracted from that which makes your inner being beautiful. Hang on to it.

Don't worry about the money ...just hang on to the positive feeling you had.

You probably think I overstate things but this was not a trivial moment in your life...it was a moment that helped shape who you are and how you view yourself.

I'm proud of you gib. You should be so as well. :)
 
Usf97j4x4

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Oh gawd, move to delete this thread before it spreads more ;)
 
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