reserection from the dead! My Journey from Hell.

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    reserection from the dead! My Journey from Hell.


    What's up everybody! I'm going to be logging about my Journey from hell I choose to call it to the heaven of health and strength. Before I start I will give you some stats of mine. I'm 30 years old, 3 kids, a beuatiful wife, and a lot of friends on here and at our gym. I'm 6ft "2, now I'm 231 and going up as I'm running my first cycle. I've been lifting almost 2 years. I've went from 197 lbs too 231. Went from 18% bf too 9%, and loven it! With havin said all this, you wouldn't have ever guessed how I use to be. And now I will start my journey by telling you how I use to be. I'm not looking for praise as this unfolds but only that I can give some knowledge of what my sickness was, give someone a story to help someone who you know understand that giving up is not acceptable. We all can move mountains we just have to have courage and faith. Thanks, feel free to chime in for ?'s or thoughts.

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    My life is starting from 1st grade, cause to b honest I don't remember before then. Maybe due to the fact my mom divorced my alcoholic, abusive father. Good for her! I will start by telling you that at the age of 1, my father put me and my mother in the hospital. I had a broken arm, not too bad I guess. But as this all happend, dfs took me away from my mom while she was still in hospital. Must have been tough on everyone. My sisters tell me about times they would scream at foster parents after that in grocery store cause they took me away. Because my mom was strong and she final got the nerve to divorse dad, she got me back. Thank god!
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    Gunna start skipping around a bit cause this can take forever. I was a boy with 3 mean older sisters 2 step brothers and a step sister. I was one of those kids that excelled not in the classroom but any sport I tried. My grandma always reminded me she never forgot about the big house I promissed her lol. She was the backbone in my life, strong willed woman. Rip grandma. I always was suppose to be a star in baseball, football, basketball. They called me the bigdog! Lol! Anyways bothe my grannies died, and for some reason I didn't have that person to get on to me, that person to push me. Life was changing for the worst and I never saw it.
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    I had sisters and brothers that partied a lot. Sometimes it was awesome cause my brother would have chicks over and they would b naked and even chase me when I'm suppose to b sleeping. (The chicks anyhow). Who wouldn't have loved naked chicks chasing you when I'm in fifth grade. The fifth grade wow, what a great time. I always had to stay with my brothers and sisters and this was the time of the big hair bands haha, sex, drugs, and rock n roll! Anyways I was drinking a lot then, well cause if they snuck out they came through my window. They didn't want to get told on haha! So I lived across the street from the school and after school I felt cool as **** cause I got to drink evan williams and dr pepper with the bro's and sisters. My friend told me all the time that as his mom picked him up she would c me tipping up a half gallon of whiskey, everyone new as u could imagine haha. My bro's and sisters thought it was cool cause I was crazy and could chug like no other. I was the kid that someone says eat these mini thins and run around the house as fast as I can 10 times. The trouble was I no longer had a childhood, I wanted to b older and get the girls.
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    Nice bro...my nan is my backbone idk what I'd do without her...id certainly be lost...I too grew up with an abusive drug addicted father and though my mother was strong it took its toll on her and as of 3 years ago she became a horrible alcoholic and shunned me out of her life bc I was always trying to get her help...I'm 23 and I've supported myself since I was 16 but from time to time I always wish I had that "family" that I could go see on Xmas or Easter and have a big family dinner hell even a family that would come to my daughters birthday party would of been nice but as much as I say and tell my fiancÚ I'm fine it's no big deal it will always eat me up a little inside
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    So this all went on for awhile and pretty soon my brothers and sisters were all out of the house. No more guidence, no more following. I became a leader, **** a leader to distruction! My middle sister was apart of a big drug ring, she's was mostly the drug addict and the one that basicaly whored around. I love her but those were diff. Times. I will get back to her in a bit. My sports started taking off, I was going to high school. I was gunna show everyone what the big dog hawd. The only thing standing in my way was rejection. I had always been the best player and well I didn't get to start nomore. Hardests days of my life. You here the stories of pro's who had similar stories about getting nocked down, rejected but they worked harder. I was the opposite, I didn't care about my dreams no more. I wanted diff friends to hide behind. I found some the summer before my sophomore year. I worked at Mcdonald and began smoking a little grass with new friends. I loved it. Found out there was a lot of hotties that smoked pot, so I became a pot head. I will get back to the story later........
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    Quote Originally Posted by howwedo107
    Nice bro...my nan is my backbone idk what I'd do without her...id certainly be lost...I too grew up with an abusive drug addicted father and though my mother was strong it took its toll on her and as of 3 years ago she became a horrible alcoholic and shunned me out of her life bc I was always trying to get her help...I'm 23 and I've supported myself since I was 16 but from time to time I always wish I had that "family" that I could go see on Xmas or Easter and have a big family dinner hell even a family that would come to my daughters birthday party would of been nice but as much as I say and tell my fiancÚ I'm fine it's no big deal it will always eat me up a little inside
    Welcome my friend! You know exactly what I'm saying. Family is everything. They guide you to what u become, unfortunately sometimes there the ones needing guidence. Sounds like you have been doing awesome on your own my man. Keep it up! My wife and kids are the reason I'm alive today. And I will get too that later in my journey bro. Thanks for your thoughts bro
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    So far I've managed to love alcohol early on and now have progressed to a bit of grass. Won't lie, early on I had a great time smoking. Then I made the pot team, I started smoking before school. And boy was I stoned. I stunk like a skunk. All my old friends thought I was crazy. At this point I didn't think a big deal. Then I thought hey I can sell this stuff so I can smoke for free. And I did, a lot. We always had a party somewhere after school. Which to me this is normal behavior. Almost missed the bus a few times for away basketball games. The coach at this point is starting to figure me out. But now I'm learning the drug game a little bit. Getting inside with some older ppl through my drug addict of a sister. I could get good stuff for cheap, and then started seeing that there's power that comes along selling pot. Ppl love you. I'm starting to realy get in the drug game. Growing up sometimes I would see a guy my aunts and sisters all hung out with. New him since I was in diapers. He had nice a nice house and fast cars and lots of gold. He was rolling in the doe.
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    Anyways I will get back to him, I got to back track a bit. A partner of mine. Me and him been buddies since little bit got into the pot game with me for a bit. We were buying a lot at a time and making money. But here's the kicker some friends of his step dads, which were older came down with some coke. Never done it, but he asked me to go with him to arkansas to buy pot real cheap. So we go. We get there and this man and his wife are twacked out of there minds. They wanted us to party with them. They had a half ounce of cola. Ppl they wernt snorting or smoking they were injecting it. Dumb ass us are like these ppl are feeling good let's do some they have a lot. Bad mistake, the rush of a lifetime an instant hook. Damn it, didn't know this at time but my life was gunna head for gutter.
    So we did it, and the mexicans they get it from. I say mexicans, mealan white dude, black dude, and mexican. But remember the latino more cause he had like 3 sell phones and they were all going off like crazy. He talk too so many diff. Woman at the time. Anyways this dude is rolling they all lived together and sold a ton of diff drugs and for cheap. I saw a ton of power and potential in this guy. So now were kinda in, we buy ourselves a lot of coke. We take it home and the first thing we think of is how we inj ourselves cause they did it for us. Long story short I went first cause my buddy is little and I about overdosed. Too much! But I was still hooked. Anyways were in the game, friends are saying your stupid one week the next they are askingg to buy. ****s fun for now. Will update later. Sorry if its detailed to much I will get back to the logg in a bit.
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    So now not only did I like drinking, I liked pot and now coke. That's not it, I was wanting the power that came with. And with power comes reputation. And that reputation gets to everyone, including the cops. I'm still in school and teachers would b asking what is wrong with my arms. Track marks and misses. I lied but they new. Anyways I'm gunna start skipping a ton and get to the good part of all this. I ended up with the man as far as meth so now I'm doing it and its way better, it lasted along time. Anyways I started getting out of control. I fell asleep in biology class 2nd hour and they woke me up 6th. Teacher I guess freaked out and thought I was dead. Poor woman!
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    I was up for 7 days no sleep. My teachers were always trying to get me to quit the **** but I didn't see it that way. I overdosed at my sissys house and put in hospital for a few days. My buddies would always tease me and call me o d boy. ****ers! I eventualy got 2 dwi's before I turned 21 and dropped out of high school my senior year. 3 months later I'm in prison. Not for long but long enough. You would think that would've scared me but nope not me. I fail a drugtest 3 days later.
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    The good thing is I payed my lawyer so much over that time that he got me another trip to rehab. Amazingly it worked this time for a bit. And I had 250 hours of community service and did it at a church life center. I found god along the way. Was going too aa meetings. Working my program for 9 months. Then I broke down and went around old friends and was hooked again. ****! ****! I will get back to this logg in a bit.
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    Good story. Write a rough draft and get you and editor to clean it up and publish.
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    Quote Originally Posted by CorpKiller
    Good story. Write a rough draft and get you and editor to clean it up and publish.
    Thanks, I have a lot left to go. I've always thought about doing something like that. Will have to c how the story ends.
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    As I'm telling my story it turns out there is someone in need of help as we speak that's on this forum, I would never have thunk it. But he and maybe there's others need a bit of guidence to building there life back. So to those who need help, tell me about urself and what pains you?

    Back to the story: So now I managed to go 9 months being off everything, drugs, and alcohol. Felt realy good about myself. Was going to church and participating in youth groups there while attending AA and listening to others with the same problems as I. But it all came to an end that one day that I chose to see my old buddie. I was hooked to meth again. Its amazing how the stuff can make you feel while on it, but that's nothing like the torture your body goes through when you coming down. I would be almost 200 lbs on a Friday get off work do meth come back Monday and weigh 167 lbs. You tell me how bad that **** is on your body. Food taste like **** after you come down. And I love food can't believe I did this to my body. Oh well what matters is where I am today.

    So anyways I'm back on drugs like I never stopped, get a dwi and guess what. Yep I'm off to prison. Just 4 moths but that's an eternity for me. Just tell you it wasn't a place I should be in. Lots of bad **** in there. Anyways I get out after 4 months and within a week I fail a drug test. Wowzers, are you serious! Prison didn't do **** for me. I actualy became a better druggy. Oh yeah I got another dwi just after getting out too. Dumb ass!
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    Also I forgot to mention before I went to prison I was a junior in high school and got a felony for growing marijuana in my bedroom. I had to pay the lawyer 2500 to keep me from getting locked up, well my parents paid. That was the last time they bailed me out. But after prison and the rehabs I managed to just smoke a little pot and drink, then my buddy got a hook up with some hispanics from chicago and was getting coke for cheap. This time I just snorted it cause I didn't want to loose control. That didn't work as u could imagine. Anyways prolly for 3 months we were hitting this coke hard. But there is so9mething good to come out of this. I met my wife at my friends house that had all the yay. Funny she was suppose to hook up with him but of course with my charm she hooked up with me haha.
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    Man that's a pretty interesting story! I'm glad you made it out alive I'm glad that you have things sorted now man and a family that you love and care for. Congrats on the up and up ! I've got a story to tell about myself and some bad choices I've made in the past. Will post it up when I have a bit more time. Not quite as interesting as yours tho bro.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lukef2000
    Man that's a pretty interesting story! I'm glad you made it out alive I'm glad that you have things sorted now man and a family that you love and care for. Congrats on the up and up ! I've got a story to tell about myself and some bad choices I've made in the past. Will post it up when I have a bit more time. Not quite as interesting as yours tho bro.
    Thanks bro! Its pretty long story, and I'm not done yet but I know its prolly my greatest accomplishment next to my children being born. Family is what we are here for. Yeah u will have to post your story. To me its interesting to know the ppl you talk to on here and know where they are coming from. 8 years ago I prolly never would've imagined me being alive today and have a family like I got. Just shows god is good and he can fix anybody if they realy want to change. Thanks for commenting I will post more soon.
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    Comming back from "rock bottom" is the best accomplishment anyone can do. I commend you for all you have been through and come back. Like you and the others have said, Family is everything!! Without my wife and son, there's no telling what I'd be doing right now. I'm subbed in on this to hear more of your story, bro!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by msrider View Post
    Also I forgot to mention before I went to prison I was a junior in high school and got a felony for growing marijuana in my bedroom. I had to pay the lawyer 2500 to keep me from getting locked up, well my parents paid. That was the last time they bailed me out. But after prison and the rehabs I managed to just smoke a little pot and drink, then my buddy got a hook up with some hispanics from chicago and was getting coke for cheap. This time I just snorted it cause I didn't want to loose control. That didn't work as u could imagine. Anyways prolly for 3 months we were hitting this coke hard. But there is so9mething good to come out of this. I met my wife at my friends house that had all the yay. Funny she was suppose to hook up with him but of course with my charm she hooked up with me haha.
    Not to get too religious, but its amazing how the Lord works, after hearing that last part about you meeting your wife like that.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cary K
    Comming back from "rock bottom" is the best accomplishment anyone can do. I commend you for all you have been through and come back. Like you and the others have said, Family is everything!! Without my wife and son, there's no telling what I'd be doing right now. I'm subbed in on this to hear more of your story, bro!!
    Thanks bro! Glad you too can see how much family means bro! I hit several rock bottoms, the only one I didn't reach was death. So therefore I'm very greatful. I will try and post more tonight at work. Thanks for joining homi
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cary K
    Not to get too religious, but its amazing how the Lord works, after hearing that last part about you meeting your wife like that.
    I will tell ya I'm not a super religious guy. But I too know there's no way I did all this on my own. And yes the wife was deff a blessing. We had our partying days and you will c that later at same time she could shut it off. Thanks again man
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    Quote Originally Posted by msrider View Post
    I will tell ya I'm not a super religious guy. But I too know there's no way I did all this on my own. And yes the wife was deff a blessing. We had our partying days and you will c that later at same time she could shut it off. Thanks again man
    Thank you for sharing your story with us, I know that some of it is hard to tell but you could inspire someone reading it.
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    When I was 19 I moved from New Zealand to Australia to help out my brother who was struggling to get on his feet. After about six months he finally got himself sorted with a job and a house but during this time i had spent all my savings supporting the two of us. I decided that I needed a better paying job and there was no such thing in the city. I moved to a small town in central Queensland and got a job operating very heavy machinery. Little did I know that this move would be a major mistake health wise. I fell in with the wrong crowd and at a party I was at one night the handed me a pill. I thought meh fock it I'll give it a go just this once... Bad move. Two years roll past and I'm popping pills every chance I get. And I got the chance quite often. During this time I get fired from my cushy mining job and end up working for sh1t money in a town I hated and fell into depression quite bad. I meet a girl and things start to pick up. I rebuild my name around town and get a job with bhp billiton on 140k a year and things are good... For about a year and then we split up. It was mutual and I felt good about it. I started to fly in and out down to the gold coast to get away and within a few weeks I'm back into old habits and after a few months I have an incident at work because I'd been up for a few days prior partying it up on X. I almost lost this job too then something "clicked" and i thought fock this I'm better than this. And I started making an effort to get my life back on track. It wasn't long after this I met my current girlfriend. I managed to keep my job and I'm still there now. Meeting my girl seemed to make the changes to my life more permanent as she is a medical scientist and a very good girl. We've been together over three years and I haven't looked back an never will. I haven't even seen X in years, I don't smoke anymore and I rarely drink. Ive been lifting for three years now, and the healthy lifestyle that goes with it is one that i will live for the rest of my life.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lukef2000 View Post
    When I was 19 I moved from New Zealand to Australia to help out my brother who was struggling to get on his feet. After about six months he finally got himself sorted with a job and a house but during this time i had spent all my savings supporting the two of us. I decided that I needed a better paying job and there was no such thing in the city. I moved to a small town in central Queensland and got a job operating very heavy machinery. Little did I know that this move would be a major mistake health wise. I fell in with the wrong crowd and at a party I was at one night the handed me a pill. I thought meh fock it I'll give it a go just this once... Bad move. Two years roll past and I'm popping pills every chance I get. And I got the chance quite often. During this time I get fired from my cushy mining job and end up working for sh1t money in a town I hated and fell into depression quite bad. I meet a girl and things start to pick up. I rebuild my name around town and get a job with bhp billiton on 140k a year and things are good... For about a year and then we split up. It was mutual and I felt good about it. I started to fly in and out down to the gold coast to get away and within a few weeks I'm back into old habits and after a few months I have an incident at work because I'd been up for a few days prior partying it up on X. I almost lost this job too then something "clicked" and i thought fock this I'm better than this. And I started making an effort to get my life back on track. It wasn't long after this I met my current girlfriend. I managed to keep my job and I'm still there now. Meeting my girl seemed to make the changes to my life more permanent as she is a medical scientist and a very good girl. We've been together over three years and I haven't looked back an never will. I haven't even seen X in years, I don't smoke anymore and I rarely drink. Ive been lifting for three years now, and the healthy lifestyle that goes with it is one that i will live for the rest of my life.
    I hear ya man, I had a run with X as well. It actually got me kicked out of the military (which I hated, still do) but if it were not for that I would not have met my wife and be married with my son today. So things happen for a reason, we just do not know that reason at the moment. All we can do is keep our head up.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cary K
    I hear ya man, I had a run with X as well. It actually got me kicked out of the military (which I hated, still do) but if it were not for that I would not have met my wife and be married with my son today. So things happen for a reason, we just do not know that reason at the moment. All we can do is keep our head up.
    It was fun at the time but you just don't realize how much you get into it until it's too late. But like you said it all happens for a reason and if it wasn't for that I wouldn't have met my gf and be in the position I am today.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lukef2000 View Post
    It was fun at the time but you just don't realize how much you get into it until it's too late. But like you said it all happens for a reason and if it wasn't for that I wouldn't have met my gf and be in the position I am today.
    Exactly. I loved the raver lifestyle-PLUR, Peace Love Unity Respect. I never went to a rave and got into a fight or even saw a fight, unlike going to a bar and bump into a drunk guy and getting into a fight. All we cared about was getting lost in the music. It was fun, I admit but looking back should have been done in moderation (once in a while) not 3-4 days a week. But you live and learn, sometimes the hard way-which is sometimes the best way.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cary K
    Exactly. I loved the raver lifestyle-PLUR, Peace Love Unity Respect. I never went to a rave and got into a fight or even saw a fight, unlike going to a bar and bump into a drunk guy and getting into a fight. All we cared about was getting lost in the music. It was fun, I admit but looking back should have been done in moderation (once in a while) not 3-4 days a week. But you live and learn, sometimes the hard way-which is sometimes the best way.
    Haha yeah moderation is the key but whos knows what that is in your early 20s lol! And that's exactly right man you live and you learn!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cary K
    I hear ya man, I had a run with X as well. It actually got me kicked out of the military (which I hated, still do) but if it were not for that I would not have met my wife and be married with my son today. So things happen for a reason, we just do not know that reason at the moment. All we can do is keep our head up.
    Great story bro! From new zealand to australia, bey you have a kick ass accent bro. Yeah bro you were winding down that road bro. Glad you got out brotha. I had lots of friends that did the x and going to raves. To tell ya the truth it was funny cause some hotties would come over the house and all they wanted to do was touch me. Should've took advantage of that but mom was home. Haha! Never got it to it though I was hooked on the speed. The thing is bro you could see what the x was doing to you and. You acted on that. Good choice bro! Good story. Glad your health is going well too. I've been up and down on the smoking and drinking. But after working out for two years now I'm getting serious and I have to turn father n law down for beers and that never happens. Lol! I quit smoking too cause I wanted to b serious and have my health although when I go to a club and party I will have afew smokes socialy. But then it stops. Its amazing what working out has changed for me and I'm sure you aswell. Your health is important and I love bodybuilding now so I think I will keep going lol. My wife says I'm addicted but since I've joined she's down 50 lbs of fat after having her 3rd child in six months so it rubs off on others so there its another plus. Wowzers gotta go love the story bro stick around. Gots to pin my quad and shower for my workout bro. Peace broski!
  30. Big Baller
    msrider's Avatar
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    6'2"  220 lbs.
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    Quote Originally Posted by msrider

    Great story bro! From new zealand to australia, bey you have a kick ass accent bro. Yeah bro you were winding down that road bro. Glad you got out brotha. I had lots of friends that did the x and going to raves. To tell ya the truth it was funny cause some hotties would come over the house and all they wanted to do was touch me. Should've took advantage of that but mom was home. Haha! Never got it to it though I was hooked on the speed. The thing is bro you could see what the x was doing to you and. You acted on that. Good choice bro! Good story. Glad your health is going well too. I've been up and down on the smoking and drinking. But after working out for two years now I'm getting serious and I have to turn father n law down for beers and that never happens. Lol! I quit smoking too cause I wanted to b serious and have my health although when I go to a club and party I will have afew smokes socialy. But then it stops. Its amazing what working out has changed for me and I'm sure you aswell. Your health is important and I love bodybuilding now so I think I will keep going lol. My wife says I'm addicted but since I've joined she's down 50 lbs of fat after having her 3rd child in six months so it rubs off on others so there its another plus. Wowzers gotta go love the story bro stick around. Gots to pin my quad and shower for my workout bro. Peace broski!
    Sorry Luke this was intended too you bro, got mixed up for a sec lol
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