I'm 20 years old and I'm not gonna lie, I don't think I'm in that good of a shape at all. I've been surviving on nothing but fast food for a while now, and honestly I don't know if I'll be able to survive on it for much longer. It feels like living in the big city's been sucking the life out of me. And honestly I can't really say that I've taken care of my body too well in the past either, back when I was 15 I had a bit of a gut, I was weighing 160 at the time, around this time I picked up the habit of smoking cigarettes, which I think made me lose some weight. Shortly afterwards I'm sad to say I did do a bit of dabbling in some hard drugs. I eventually stopped doing it altogether, but in the end I had lost 20 pounds and was down to 140 pounds, the same weight I had when I was in 7th grade. I didn't really mind this too much at the time, since it meant I could see my abs again, but as you can imagine there's definitely some pretty bad health consequences in all this.
So my hair started to become thin and wispy eventually, and I made the horrible choice of taking finasteride to fix this problem. It took no less than a week and a half for it to kill my libido, and it's taken me a painstakingly long time to somewhat recover it. By painstakingly slow I mean months and I still don't feel as if I'm where I used to be.
Within the past year I've been eating quite a bit of greasy fast food stuff, and it has put on some pounds on me, so I'm at a 150 pounds now. None of this stuff ended up being fat on my body though.
What really kills me though, is that I think my physical being has affected me mentally in how I function. The libido is one thing, but I remember when I was a kid at like 14 I felt like I could take on anyone or anything in the world. As much as I hate to say it right now I just feel like a sad sack of ****. I am honestly fearing of not being able to maintain myself to be able to raise kids and a family someday.
I feel like my skin texture isn't doing so great, and as I mentioned before my hair is kind of wispy, and the hair all over my body seems to be a bit thin.
So today I've definitely come across the realization that it's time to start buying groceries and start making some healthy sort of food. I would definitely like to quit smoking cigarettes too, of which I am still a pack a day smoker.
I'm not looking to make myself into the crushinator or something, I just want to have a healthy body and a healthy mind and bring things like enthusiasm, dreams, and love back into my life. Right now I feel apathetic beyond my control and it makes me sick. I kid you not I feel as if my soul is being drained out of my body right now, and I don't really know how much longer I can make it like this. What I really need is to somehow re-ignite the fire that burns within. I think it would be best for me to do this without any pills or supplements at all.