Who here has in laws that are fat and out of shape?

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  1. Quote Originally Posted by kenpoengineer View Post
    I’m curious. All the recovering alcoholics, food addicted members that posted in this thread. What people in your lives took it upon themselves to “help” and what exactly did they say to make you realize you had a problem that needed to be fixed? Everyone here is saying “help the guy” but not explaining “how”.

    Those writing about being “judgemental”, you don’t know anything about the OP. Aren’t you being judgemental as well?

    Also, is it possible that this hit a nerve for those here that are recovering from addiction? Sticking up for a fellow recovering addicted person because it reminds you of your past self?

    I’m looking for constructive suggestions because I also have family members that are food and alcohol addicted.
    I don't know how to help his family. All I know is my opinions on this. And my opinion of the op is that he's either a troll or a douche. I've been drawn in to too many of his past threads, where he's gone off on homophobic, racist rants or belittled female bikini competitors to ever think differently. Which means I'm being judgmental I suppose. Which I'm totally fine with.
    What I don't understand is that it seems like you're defending him, which does surprise me.
    Twenty-Two Until None
    I Am My Brothers Keeper


  2. Quote Originally Posted by kenpoengineer View Post
    So addicts consider family members/friends interventions (yes, have to be ďforcedĒ as no addict is going to do it on their own accord) as a bad thing? Really? Rather than trying to help the addict you sit back and watch them hit the low point? Isnít this heartless?
    In my experience all the help in the world isn't going to get an addict or alcoholic to stop using. I think it is important to support them and let them know that you are there and try to help but ultimately they have to be ready and willing to do the work themselves in order to get out. Many times people think they are helping because they love someone and what they're actually doing is enabling that person to continue on in their addiction because they never really hit their bottom. Example someone who's lost their ability to properly function in society so you give them a place to live and continue to use because you love them and don't want to see them on the street. Well I could see where it could be viewed as heartless but actually if it gets bad enough for some people they may be willing to change. If they can still be comfortable and drink and use because they have shelter in food the basics they will continue to do so. So another words though it may look heartless putting someone out and telling them they have to go because they chose this and letting them know that if they choose to get help you will be there to help them is the best way in my opinion. The person must choose to receive the help that's being offered.

    My life changed when I was ready. Absolutely you need loving people who support you to help.

    You asked what does it look like to reach out and help someone it looks like going to them out of caring concern and saying hey man I'm worried about you I see this Behavior and it's self-destructive and you're destroying yourself and your life. I know that you're hurting underneath and I want to help you to get out whatever is really bothering you underneath the alcohol or drugs. Most of the time people who use drugs or alcohol is purely a defense mechanism because they are unable to cope with the hurt and pain that they feel inside. Sometimes those things come from trauma other times people just don't know how to cope with everyday problems so they turn to self-medicating. If you don't understand addiction then you really won't understand the mind of the addict and how things work.

    I believe the o p is being judgemental. He has put himself in the position of judge jury and executioner and decided to hold court on his family. Even willing to hand down that sentence to his children. I think if he has any type of heart or compassion he would reach out out of that Karen concern and say hey man I'm worried about you this is what I've seen happen since I've known you you've gone downhill your drinking more medicating and video games Etc. Often times underneath that people are hurting and just don't know how to cope with it so they turn to other things to try and medicate the issue. So you reach out as a friend and say hey man I want to help you deal with whatever may be going on inside. This guy could also very easily offer to take him to the gym and start training him all the while just being a friend and listening and possibly giving good advice to help him change his life. In my experience that's how you reach out to someone and help them.

    You don't tear their house down so that you feel like you have the biggest house on the Block. In my opinion that's what someone does who is insecure.
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  3. Quote Originally Posted by kenpoengineer View Post
    So addicts consider family members/friends interventions (yes, have to be “forced” as no addict is going to do it on their own accord) as a bad thing? Really? Rather than trying to help the addict you sit back and watch them hit the low point? Isn’t this heartless?
    Sadly yes, an intervention is action but will it lead to a sustainable recovery....imo no.

    I’m actually getting a touch emotional reading your comments as it’s reminding me what I put the people who loved me through. I can’t ever change that, I can be the best I can be moving forward but that past pain I caused them is horrible.

    Clomid not helping either.....
  4. Who here has in laws that are fat and out of shape?


    Not exactly defending but understanding his frustration. Iím a person that helps my family and has a BIL that is over 300 lbs and is so unhealthy I wonder if he is going to be here next year. I want to desperately help him and this thread caught my attention as it hits home.
    May I suggest using this app to track your bloodwork tests:
    myBloodTracker for IPhone and IPad
    https://appsto.re/us/vvMndb.i
  5. Who here has in laws that are fat and out of shape?


    Godstrength and Whisky - thank you! You are making me emotional here as itís so hard to watch someone you love literally dying in front of you. Iím an engineer and as such I think of solutions to problems as my life. I really wish I could reach inside my BILís brain and make him see what heís doing to himself and the people that love him. Life is so very short and addiction makes it shorter. I lost my mother at 45 to alcohol addiction complications. I know what that loss feels like!
    May I suggest using this app to track your bloodwork tests:
    myBloodTracker for IPhone and IPad
    https://appsto.re/us/vvMndb.i
    •   
       


  6. Quote Originally Posted by kenpoengineer View Post
    Godstrength and Whisky - thank you! You are making me emotional here as this so hard to watch someone you love literally dying in front of you. Iím an engineer and as such I think of solutions to problems as my life. I really wish I could reach inside my BILís brain and make him see what heís doing to himself and the people that love him. Life is so very short and addiction makes it shorter. I lost my mother at 45 to alcohol addiction complications. I know what that loss feels like!
    I understand your pain. For years and years I put my family and loved ones through the exact same thing. It's not that I didn't want to change its that I didn't know how and felt like I couldn't trust anyone. That's why in my experience the only approach that works is when someone feels that you actually care about them and you're trying to help. Then it gives them the opportunity to accept and receive that help and step out and make the change necessary.

    I used heavy drugs for over 15 years to the point where I didn't want to live anymore. Just about everyone had given up on me except my mother. Even my own father look me in my eyes and told me I would never change. But something happened at the right time with the right people around in the right help I was able to overcome my struggles. I now have a bachelor's in human services specializing in addiction and I spend my life trying to help other people come out of the darkness. I have experienced many victories and celebrations and seeing people overcome. I have also experienced a lot of loss. I have seen more people die to addiction than anything else that I've ever experienced in my life. Close friends family members people I was helping. It doesn't ever get any easier for me but I love what I do. It's the one who makes it and changes their life that makes it all worth it.

    I know it's not easy brother but if you just pull him aside one-on-one and share with him and extend your willingness to help and do anything you can and just let him know that you're there for him. Don't try to force him to change just be a friend and let him know that when he's ready to get some help you will help him to find that. When he comes to you and ask for help then you look at what Avenues you can get him into to make the lifestyle changes necessary. You really do need someone who is equipped to deal with this type of situation in order to help someone get out in my opinion
    Rep for MA Research
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    GS15 for 15%off

  7. Godstrength thanks brother. Iím going to take your suggestions.
    May I suggest using this app to track your bloodwork tests:
    myBloodTracker for IPhone and IPad
    https://appsto.re/us/vvMndb.i

  8. Quote Originally Posted by kenpoengineer View Post
    Godstrength thanks brother. Iím going to take your suggestions.
    Good man. I type all this as I sit here now with my 16 month old son. This is something that really should not be possible but it is and people can change. Merry Christmas
    Rep for MA Research
    MARESEARCHCHEMS.com
    GS15 for 15%off
  9. Who here has in laws that are fat and out of shape?


    Quote Originally Posted by Godstrength View Post
    Good man. I type all this as I sit here now with my 16 month old son. This is something that really should not be possible but it is and people can change. Merry Christmas
    Oh brother, Iíd give anything to go back to the days of holding my son in my arms! Heís 29 and in the Navy now! Enjoy this time with him as it goes fast!! Merry Christmas
    May I suggest using this app to track your bloodwork tests:
    myBloodTracker for IPhone and IPad
    https://appsto.re/us/vvMndb.i

  10. Quote Originally Posted by Godstrength View Post
    I understand your pain. For years and years I put my family and loved ones through the exact same thing. It's not that I didn't want to change its that I didn't know how and felt like I couldn't trust anyone. That's why in my experience the only approach that works is when someone feels that you actually care about them and you're trying to help. Then it gives them the opportunity to accept and receive that help and step out and make the change necessary.

    I used heavy drugs for over 15 years to the point where I didn't want to live anymore. Just about everyone had given up on me except my mother. Even my own father look me in my eyes and told me I would never change. But something happened at the right time with the right people around in the right help I was able to overcome my struggles. I now have a bachelor's in human services specializing in addiction and I spend my life trying to help other people come out of the darkness. I have experienced many victories and celebrations and seeing people overcome. I have also experienced a lot of loss. I have seen more people die to addiction than anything else that I've ever experienced in my life. Close friends family members people I was helping. It doesn't ever get any easier for me but I love what I do. It's the one who makes it and changes their life that makes it all worth it.

    I know it's not easy brother but if you just pull him aside one-on-one and share with him and extend your willingness to help and do anything you can and just let him know that you're there for him. Don't try to force him to change just be a friend and let him know that when he's ready to get some help you will help him to find that. When he comes to you and ask for help then you look at what Avenues you can get him into to make the lifestyle changes necessary. You really do need someone who is equipped to deal with this type of situation in order to help someone get out in my opinion
    Absolutely this, food addiction is a tough one to break and although many see if differently to alcohol and drugs the basic principles to address it are the same.

    Your BIL needs to want to make the change

    He needs to know it’s possible

    He needs to know he won’t be on his own doing it.

    Deep down I believe the vast majority of obese people know why they are obese and what it’s doing to them, being supportive and giving a channel to openly admit those things is the first step.

    Genuinely wish you and your BIL the best, if at anytime you think it will help show what’s possible (I had no surgery or medical stuff - literally just changed what I ate and moved more) please feel free to use my before and after on the nudez bank thread.

    Good luck brother

  11. Quote Originally Posted by SFreed View Post
    If my son in law were as judgmental as you are, I would avoid him at all costs.
    Thank you!

  12. Quote Originally Posted by CompeteNPC View Post
    Man I'll tell ya, it drives me crazy. I avoid my in laws most of the year but I do have to see them on holidays and special occasions such as birthdays for some members and so forth. I act civil. What a joke.
    Anyway anyone here have any fat in laws who make you want to throw up when you look at them?
    I'll bite. Get it.?

    You're shallow, and you make me sick.

  13. I'm never disappointed by an NPC thread.
    "It's the human condition to always lust, to always lust for more
    Searching in the dark, it's time to tame your wandering heart."

  14. Quote Originally Posted by Godstrength View Post

    ...But something happened at the right time with the right people around in the right help I was able to overcome my struggles. I now have a bachelor's in human services specializing in addiction and I spend my life trying to help other people come out of the darkness. I have experienced many victories and celebrations and seeing people overcome. I have also experienced a lot of loss. I have seen more people die to addiction than anything else that I've ever experienced in my life. Close friends family members people I was helping. It doesn't ever get any easier for me but I love what I do. It's the one who makes it and changes their life that makes it all worth it...
    I walked a similar path to you, and remember what my choices did to family and friends. Ironically, it wasnít any of them that helped me, but a neighbor that I just occasionally said ďhiĒ to. That was 4 years ago. Thanks for stepping up and being part of the solution for others like us. This world needs more people making a difference. More people that care...

  15. First of all my brother in law would get his ass kicked since he's such a fat **** and can't move worth ****. I

    I have no respect for drug addicts either. You choose to abuse your body and set the wrong examples for your family. As far as I am concerned in that state of mind you are nothing more than a selfish POS. The end. BTW I used to struggle with addictions and I changed on my own. No therapy, no counseling, no rehab. Its all about the mind and wanting it bad enough. Its called mental strength. People who need help to change are mentally weak and I can't respect that. Too selfish to stick with something and be strong enough to quit. Anything from food addiction to drugs, its all the same. A real man quits cold turkey and thats how it goes.

  16. Quote Originally Posted by CompeteNPC View Post
    First of all my brother in law would get his ass kicked since he's such a fat **** and can't move worth ****. I

    I have no respect for drug addicts either. You choose to abuse your body and set the wrong examples for your family. As far as I am concerned in that state of mind you are nothing more than a selfish POS. The end. BTW I used to struggle with addictions and I changed on my own. No therapy, no counseling, no rehab. Its all about the mind and wanting it bad enough. Its called mental strength. People who need help to change are mentally weak and I can't respect that. Too selfish to stick with something and be strong enough to quit. Anything from food addiction to drugs, its all the same. A real man quits cold turkey and thats how it goes.
    You would think someone who went through addiction would more understand mental health issues but here we are. My wife is a therapist, and worked at the VA for years helping veterans with substance abuse issues. So none of them are real men because the reached out for help? GTFO with that talk
    Black Lion Research Rep

  17. ...
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  18. Quote Originally Posted by CompeteNPC View Post
    Man I'll tell ya, it drives me crazy. I avoid my in laws most of the year but I do have to see them on holidays and special occasions such as birthdays for some members and so forth. I act civil and do my best to be the better person and treat them nice. But ****, they are so out of shape and not into fitness whatsoever. They are clueless when it comes to proper diet and just don't get it. Some are just lazy AF when it comes to working out. My brother in law's personality drastically changed when he gained weight and became morbidly obese. He used to be much more social and dressed better when he was not fat, but ever since he became fat his sense of fashion is non existent and his personality is like talking to a brick wall. He also is a hermit who just sits on his couch when he is home and drinks cases of beer playing video games. The guy is 40 years old! I could see a 16 year old doing that but a 40 year old? What a joke.

    Anyway anyone here have any fat in laws who make you want to throw up when you look at them?
    I have plenty of those. Except they aren't in laws. They're directly blood related. They try every Damn fat loss pill, powder, shake and whatever else they see on those info-mercials. Wasting all there money. Yet they will never step foot in a gym. They waste my time asking me this and that about nutrition and training, yet do nothing with the given info. Then they live sedentary lives and want to cry about how they don't understand why they're still overweight. As if they have been trying. Yet I lived with you and watched you not do a damn thing. Yep! I saw that for a good 5 years. They have issues in the mind. Weak minded people I can't be around unless they're willing to help themselves. Training trains the mind. That's what I love even more than the aesthetic benefits. I have no pity, or sorry bone in my body for those who don't help themselves and sit waiting for things to change, and waste my time while they're at it.

  19. Quote Originally Posted by CompeteNPC View Post
    First of all my brother in law would get his ass kicked since he's such a fat **** and can't move worth ****. I

    I have no respect for drug addicts either. You choose to abuse your body and set the wrong examples for your family. As far as I am concerned in that state of mind you are nothing more than a selfish POS. The end. BTW I used to struggle with addictions and I changed on my own. No therapy, no counseling, no rehab. Its all about the mind and wanting it bad enough. Its called mental strength. People who need help to change are mentally weak and I can't respect that. Too selfish to stick with something and be strong enough to quit. Anything from food addiction to drugs, its all the same. A real man quits cold turkey and thats how it goes.
    Oh, boy. We all walk different paths. Some paths are rockier than others and sometimes people walk off the path and need help getting back on it. We humans can be stubborn and irrational. We attack those who love us and are trying to help us when we shouldn't. It's not always as simple as you say. I have never been addicted to anything but that doesn't mean I'm better than anyone else. I also haven't dealt with the grief and suffering others have. I just try to be a nice guy and help others. You might have shaken your addiction but you still have demons. That is very apparent.
    "It's the human condition to always lust, to always lust for more
    Searching in the dark, it's time to tame your wandering heart."

  20. Quote Originally Posted by CompeteNPC View Post
    First of all my brother in law would get his ass kicked since he's such a fat **** and can't move worth ****. I

    I have no respect for drug addicts either. You choose to abuse your body and set the wrong examples for your family. As far as I am concerned in that state of mind you are nothing more than a selfish POS. The end. BTW I used to struggle with addictions and I changed on my own. No therapy, no counseling, no rehab. Its all about the mind and wanting it bad enough. Its called mental strength. People who need help to change are mentally weak and I can't respect that. Too selfish to stick with something and be strong enough to quit. Anything from food addiction to drugs, its all the same. A real man quits cold turkey and thats how it goes.
    There is such a thing as invincible ignorance.

    I pray for you

  21. Wow.
    Twenty-Two Until None
    I Am My Brothers Keeper

  22. I donít get his addiction, I was an addict, I was a man about it. Lol

  23. Quote Originally Posted by GoofyKai View Post
    I have plenty of those. Except they aren't in laws. They're directly blood related. They try every Damn fat loss pill, powder, shake and whatever else they see on those info-mercials. Wasting all there money. Yet they will never step foot in a gym. They waste my time asking me this and that about nutrition and training, yet do nothing with the given info. Then they live sedentary lives and want to cry about how they don't understand why they're still overweight. As if they have been trying. Yet I lived with you and watched you not do a damn thing. Yep! I saw that for a good 5 years. They have issues in the mind. Weak minded people I can't be around unless they're willing to help themselves. Training trains the mind. That's what I love even more than the aesthetic benefits. I have no pity, or sorry bone in my body for those who don't help themselves and sit waiting for things to change, and waste my time while they're at it.
    Well said! Well said

  24. Quote Originally Posted by CompeteNPC View Post
    First of all my brother in law would get his ass kicked since he's such a fat **** and can't move worth ****. I

    I have no respect for drug addicts either. You choose to abuse your body and set the wrong examples for your family. As far as I am concerned in that state of mind you are nothing more than a selfish POS. The end. BTW I used to struggle with addictions and I changed on my own. No therapy, no counseling, no rehab. Its all about the mind and wanting it bad enough. Its called mental strength. People who need help to change are mentally weak and I can't respect that. Too selfish to stick with something and be strong enough to quit. Anything from food addiction to drugs, its all the same. A real man quits cold turkey and thats how it goes.
    I suspect your just trolling at this point, but Iíll bite. You donít have to respect them, you donít have to have sympathy for them; I donít. But what about a little empathy or grace?

    I suspect you grew up knowing what a parents love was. That your self worth was based on small successes, one after another, in school or sports that your parents praised. I suspect youíve never been to the emergency room for the third time in a month and had to lie to CPS, yet again, how you got hurt. That youíve never told your mother you love her and her response is; ďI know,Ē ďThanks,Ē or ďOkay.Ē These are things that no child should ever have to endure, yet itís all too common. When someone feels like they add no value, when they have no goals or ambitions for what they will accomplish, thereís no reason to change. Itís just easier to get up and do what they did yesterday. Why donít you come along side him and paint a picture of what his life could be?

    Hereís whatís fascinating. Since your brother-in-Law has such a low self image and self worth... his sister... your wife most likely does too. And the only reason she hasnít left you is because she doesnít believe she can do better. My hope is you wake up before itís too late...

  25. Quote Originally Posted by CompeteNPC View Post
    First of all my brother in law would get his ass kicked since he's such a fat **** and can't move worth ****. I

    I have no respect for drug addicts either. You choose to abuse your body and set the wrong examples for your family. As far as I am concerned in that state of mind you are nothing more than a selfish POS. The end. BTW I used to struggle with addictions and I changed on my own. No therapy, no counseling, no rehab. Its all about the mind and wanting it bad enough. Its called mental strength. People who need help to change are mentally weak and I can't respect that. Too selfish to stick with something and be strong enough to quit. Anything from food addiction to drugs, its all the same. A real man quits cold turkey and thats how it goes.
    100% troll. You had a few respected members come in and almost take your side in this. Your response to that is to belittle them. SMH.

    You were a bully in High School, weren't you.
    Twenty-Two Until None
    I Am My Brothers Keeper
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