End of my rope- physique help- pics included

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  1. So I'm starting this thread as a desperation for help and advice.... I train hard and smart, I eat more clean than most can dream of. I supplement for my goals and cover all my bases.... And what do I have to show for it?

    My history is fat as a kid until 15- anorexic from 16-18 (190 pounds to 90 pounds) now stable at 165-175 depending on carbs or no carbs.

    25 years old as of sept 15. Was on TRT for 6 months (October 2012-April 13) and did a clomid restart in April-may. Test got to 800 on clomid and estradiol was 39 or 40. Prolactin totally normal- dead center of normal range. I have more bloods I got taken on Monday, and will post those results. But my physique is non existent. Take a look. I am not "fat" I am not skinny... I'm not small, but I'm not really muscular either.... I'm just...... This



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    This final pic is about a month ago... It's been a steady decline to the pics above.... Below was me at my best effort of a cut... Full diet and supplements and training to strip body fat... It did not work.

    As someone who lost 100 pounds in the past, I kno how to lose fat, and it doesnt want to come off anymore.

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    Im at the end of my ropes. I'm CERTAIN my problems lie within, as my test was 200 at 24... We are sure (doctors and me) i had damaged pituitary and thyroid from 2 years of anorexia... Things got better on TRT physique wise, but i wasnt ready to be on for life at 24.... I want kids. I was close to marriage and now I am no longer with that woman. So it's like now I need to be in top shape. Especially since I'm dating this 21 year old. She's already seen me naked and hasn't bounced.... But then there's the issue of my ED! A very new issue, coupled with these horrible man boobs and flat tire below my waist... Please AM minds, help me, anything you've got.

    If I can't get a handle on this, im gonna start cycling and probably never come off... Blast and cruise and figure out the swimmers when it's time to make babies... Idk what else to do .... It's making me miserable on a daily basis busting my ass in the gym and kitchen, and getting nothing in return.


  2. Let's start with diet breakdown

    What you eat
    When
    How much
    How often
    Supplements

    What's your tdee and how far from it are you. Have you reverse dieted to hit metabolic capacity?

    Did you try any opioid antagonist. Naloxone? My friend was in a similar situation and was prescribed that and aided his recovery with messed up hormones (shut down. But he was an addict and it helped in a few ways. The mechanism is a little unconventional)
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  3. Quote Originally Posted by EBF Inc View Post
    Ill check these out soon.
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  4. Quote Originally Posted by chedapalooza View Post

    Ill check these out soon.
    Take your time man.

  5. Quote Originally Posted by EBF Inc View Post
    Let's start with diet breakdown

    What you eat
    When
    How much
    How often
    Supplements

    What's your tdee and how far from it are you. Have you reverse dieted to hit metabolic capacity?

    Did you try any opioid antagonist. Naloxone? My friend was in a similar situation and was prescribed that and aided his recovery with messed up hormones (shut down. But he was an addict and it helped in a few ways. The mechanism is a little unconventional)
    I eat mostly, if not entirely, gluten free... Breads, quinoa, brown rice, sweet pots, tons if veggies and fruit, lean meats and fish (rarely any red meat)... Greek yogurt, almond milk, light Swiss cheese on sandwiches, high fiber snacks like quest bars, vita muffin tops, almond butter, coco oil, eggs, olive oil... I eat fresh I but my groceries daily.. Sushi w brown rice, etc... It's all so healthy man.

    I follow IF and break fast around 4 pm and feed 2-3 large meals from 4pm til 10 or 11. Then stay awake at least two hours after final meal. I CANNOT train on a full stomach or having already had food that day. I have been taking HMB pre workout with test powder. And I'm on c20, prime, rk 500 and fastin (with dmaa), anabolic pump, usp protein, usp 500mg extra agmatine pre my last meal of the day. 2g fish oil, 2000mg C spread out daily.. Magnesium citrate at bed 200mg and 2 caps REM PM at bed.

    I'm fckin covered out the ass with supps ^^


    I don't do drugs and have no idea what opioid antagonist is or means or how it would be used lol. Yes, I've tried reverse dieting and it seemed to have worked then I guess I just couldn't keep up the Intake due to being busy, but seemed like I was still eating enough as I wasnt hungry.... I mean, I could try eating way more again, I just feel like I'm spinning my wheels tho...

    I know bc if my history, there's factors that aren't so simple as eat x,y,z and take this or that... My body literally isn't responding... Whether I go keto or bulk, it doesn't change-- aside from putting on fat. All regular blood work indicTes that I'm gonna live forever though! Lol.

    I was lifting 5 days a week and doing 2-3 days of real solid HIIT. Now I'm about to start a program next week (on a planned deload to finish up my tats this week) where I will train full body m,w,f (legs only on wed) and do HIIT tues and thurs. with some liss as I feel necessary on the lifting days (dont wanna cut into my growing calories too much tho)

    I spend too much damn time planning and thinking and doing, and not getting the results Zach.

  6. Quote Originally Posted by chedapalooza View Post

    I eat mostly, if not entirely, gluten free... Breads, quinoa, brown rice, sweet pots, tons if veggies and fruit, lean meats and fish (rarely any red meat)... Greek yogurt, almond milk, light Swiss cheese on sandwiches, high fiber snacks like quest bars, vita muffin tops, almond butter, coco oil, eggs, olive oil... I eat fresh I but my groceries daily.. Sushi w brown rice, etc... It's all so healthy man.

    I follow IF and break fast around 4 pm and feed 2-3 large meals from 4pm til 10 or 11. Then stay awake at least two hours after final meal. I CANNOT train on a full stomach or having already had food that day. I have been taking HMB pre workout with test powder. And I'm on c20, prime, rk 500 and fastin (with dmaa), anabolic pump, usp protein, usp 500mg extra agmatine pre my last meal of the day. 2g fish oil, 2000mg C spread out daily.. Magnesium citrate at bed 200mg and 2 caps REM PM at bed.

    I'm fckin covered out the ass with supps ^^

    I don't do drugs and have no idea what opioid antagonist is or means or how it would be used lol. Yes, I've tried reverse dieting and it seemed to have worked then I guess I just couldn't keep up the Intake due to being busy, but seemed like I was still eating enough as I wasnt hungry.... I mean, I could try eating way more again, I just feel like I'm spinning my wheels tho...

    I know bc if my history, there's factors that aren't so simple as eat x,y,z and take this or that... My body literally isn't responding... Whether I go keto or bulk, it doesn't change-- aside from putting on fat. All regular blood work indicTes that I'm gonna live forever though! Lol.

    I was lifting 5 days a week and doing 2-3 days of real solid HIIT. Now I'm about to start a program next week (on a planned deload to finish up my tats this week) where I will train full body m,w,f (legs only on wed) and do HIIT tues and thurs. with some liss as I feel necessary on the lifting days (dont wanna cut into my growing calories too much tho)

    I spend too much damn time planning and thinking and doing, and not getting the results Zach.
    Your diet wasn't clear

    Lets get a break down by meals with food and macros pre meal and overal calories and macros for the day

    It's possible leptin resistance hasn't quite corrected itself yet withthenextreme nature of your diet and lifestyle

    Pit down what I asked in this post so other people can help

    Maybe a vitamin deficiency. A methylation problem who knows

  7. Quote Originally Posted by EBF Inc View Post

    Your diet wasn't clear

    Lets get a break down by meals with food and macros pre meal and overal calories and macros for the day

    It's possible leptin resistance hasn't quite corrected itself yet withthenextreme nature of your diet and lifestyle

    Pit down what I asked in this post so other people can help

    Maybe a vitamin deficiency. A methylation problem who knows
    Sorry, I don't keep track of macros.. I used to do it years ago and it led me to become seriously OCD, brings me back to when I nearly died. I'm only eating twice, 3 times at most, per day.

    I would guesstimate that each meal has 60-80g protein, 30-40g fat, and 75-150g carbs. I realize the carbs is a large range, and by reducing it to 100 or less for the day, I would certainly lose some water and bf, but I feel like overall energy, strength, mood, Etc would suffer. And like I said, even going keto never cut me up.. Haven't been single digit bf since I recovered from the anorexia.

  8. You seem pretty stressed out. I truly believe stress in your daily life can effect weight gain, weight loss, muscle gain, etc..

  9. Quote Originally Posted by WormyJackal View Post
    You seem pretty stressed out. I truly believe stress in your daily life can effect weight gain, weight loss, muscle gain, etc..
    For sure. Trying to get a grip on things.. Had to walk away from a 3 year relationship a week ago today, so definitely stress

  10. i think EBF was trying to get you to say..

    Breakfast - x amount of eggs,....etc

    Snack - ......

    so we can see what you are eating every meal
    Performax Labs Product Specialist


  11. Quote Originally Posted by R1balla View Post
    i think EBF was trying to get you to say..

    Breakfast - x amount of eggs,....etc

    Snack - ......

    so we can see what you are eating every meal
    I hear ya. I will keep track today.

    It's hard bc I usually get dinner from whole foods 5-6 days a week from the food bar (2-3 lbs of food) lol and I obviously don't measure it and I just mix it all together in a box..

  12. and what are your goals right now? ive found for bulking (for me), training 3x a week is perfect. Usually lifting heavy and/or alot of super sets and that 4 days of rest to eat and sleep good is wonderful.
    Performax Labs Product Specialist


  13. Quote Originally Posted by R1balla View Post
    and what are your goals right now? ive found for bulking (for me), training 3x a week is perfect. Usually lifting heavy and/or alot of super sets and that 4 days of rest to eat and sleep good is wonderful.
    Yea, I'm looking to add lean mass and literally today am starting a 3 day full body program with two days of HIIT (m/w/f lift) (tues/thurs HIIT) weekends off.

    My bf is acceptable at this time and adding solid muscle to my frame will make it look much better.

    I want to add realistically 3-5 good pounds by the end of oct. then recomp through New Years. Then a solid lean bulk January to April/mid may. I will use DC and power/hyper for the winter lean bulk.

  14. have you every tried DC training?
    Performax Labs Product Specialist


  15. Quote Originally Posted by R1balla View Post
    have you every tried DC training?
    No I haven't. Have wanted to for a Long time

  16. Quote Originally Posted by chedapalooza View Post
    No I haven't. Have wanted to for a Long time
    P/RR/S is another good one. I actually started that last week.
    Performax Labs Product Specialist


  17. Quote Originally Posted by R1balla View Post

    P/RR/S is another good one. I actually started that last week.
    I tried that last winter, wasnt bad

  18. Reading your bio is like reading about myself, I was anorexic from 14-16 went from 210 to 120 in 3 months. I am also very susceptible to OCD and used to have sever anxiety and stress issues.

    Training is the only thing I have ever found to keep myself sane. I'm a completely different person when I train.

    Now to give you some advice as to what I did in the past( I'm no longer looking to body build powerlifting now). First and foremost get rid of all the supps !!! I did exactly what you are doing taking 10 different supps 3 times a day. All you need is a good multi, creatine, and a good cup of coffee in the morning. My sup list right now: multi, creatine, digestive enzyme, ALCAR, and a cup of coffee before the gym. Second you don't have to necessarily count macros, I don't, but I know I have to eat 6 eggs every morning with a potato, a shake after the gym and then 2# of meat through out the rest of my day with some more carbs. This helps to keep you away from the OCD but makes sure your on track with your diet. My last word of advice, don't go to the gym to have fun. By that I mean don't socialize, no sight seeing, don't try and look pretty. Sweat pants, baggy nasty shirt every day by the end of every routine you should be the sweatiest pile of human at you gym. Every day shooting for a new PR not for anyone but yourself.
    Bigcountry's Getting a little smaller: Epi/Stano Log

    http://anabolicminds.com/forum/cycle-info/231194-bigcountrys-getting-little.html

  19. Quote Originally Posted by Bigcountry08 View Post
    Reading your bio is like reading about myself, I was anorexic from 14-16 went from 210 to 120 in 3 months. I am also very susceptible to OCD and used to have sever anxiety and stress issues.

    Training is the only thing I have ever found to keep myself sane. I'm a completely different person when I train.

    Now to give you some advice as to what I did in the past( I'm no longer looking to body build powerlifting now). First and foremost get rid of all the supps !!! I did exactly what you are doing taking 10 different supps 3 times a day. All you need is a good multi, creatine, and a good cup of coffee in the morning. My sup list right now: multi, creatine, digestive enzyme, ALCAR, and a cup of coffee before the gym. Second you don't have to necessarily count macros, I don't, but I know I have to eat 6 eggs every morning with a potato, a shake after the gym and then 2# of meat through out the rest of my day with some more carbs. This helps to keep you away from the OCD but makes sure your on track with your diet. My last word of advice, don't go to the gym to have fun. By that I mean don't socialize, no sight seeing, don't try and look pretty. Sweat pants, baggy nasty shirt every day by the end of every routine you should be the sweatiest pile of human at you gym. Every day shooting for a new PR not for anyone but yourself.
    Amen to all of that. Believe the gym is not a fashion show or social event for me. I get in there an do work. I keep track in my head of how much and of what I eat but don't count the macros... I just kinda know. I know to eat more than I think is enough, and then that's enough lol.

    Thanks for shAring..... Losing the supps will be tough, I'm not sure I'm ready yet quite honestly, but well see what happens...

  20. Quote Originally Posted by chedapalooza View Post
    Amen to all of that. Believe the gym is not a fashion show or social event for me. I get in there an do work. I keep track in my head of how much and of what I eat but don't count the macros... I just kinda know. I know to eat more than I think is enough, and then that's enough lol. Thanks for shAring..... Losing the supps will be tough, I'm not sure I'm ready yet quite honestly, but well see what happens...
    I'm not say you should get rid of all sups, just that your using 13 different supps, and as you say yourself your not getting and gains so as of right now your basically burning a lot of money. I still buy something new once in a while for fun, I just don't like burning my whole paycheck.
    Bigcountry's Getting a little smaller: Epi/Stano Log

    http://anabolicminds.com/forum/cycle-info/231194-bigcountrys-getting-little.html

  21. We went over a basic list


    Follow it don't take more then necessary and just track food man. You'll be surprised at what your eating/not eating. Post it up everyday. It'll help keep you accountable

  22. Quote Originally Posted by EBF Inc View Post
    We went over a basic list Follow it don't take more then necessary and just track food man. You'll be surprised at what your eating/not eating. Post it up everyday. It'll help keep you accountable
    That is so true I talk to a lot of guys who say they eat right and say they know there hitting there macros, but when you actually sit down and go over it most of the time there only getting half if not less then what they think they are.
    Bigcountry's Getting a little smaller: Epi/Stano Log

    http://anabolicminds.com/forum/cycle-info/231194-bigcountrys-getting-little.html
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