50 Signs You're Addicted to MMA
- 09-17-2006, 11:09 AM
50 Signs You're Addicted to MMA
Some of these are hilarious. I'll highlight my favorites.
1.) Everytime the word "Ultimate" is spoken or shown you instantly think of the UFC.
2.) Everytime your Girlfriend/Wife tries to hug you from behind you instinctively tuck your chin in and brace yourself for a Rear Naked Choke.
3.) When you are dancing with your Girlfriend/Wife and you hold each others arms, you think about Judo Randori and look for takedowns.
4.) You get bored of people mentioning that they won't get taken down if they were fighting.
5.) All your DVD's are MMA or Martial Arts Movies
6.) Bas Rutten is your favourite recording artist
7.) You eye up people, guessing what their fighting style would be like and take their build in to consideration to determine the best strategy of kicking their ass.
8.) Anything with an "R" is spoken like an "H"
10:When you name your dog: Gracie, Kimo, Tito or Vanderlei.
11:When you name your child: Gracie, Kimo, Tito or Vanderlei.
12: When people ask if you have ANYTHING other than fights to watch and you throw them "smashing machine".
13: When you are showing the 7/11 store clerk how to do a triangle.
14 - When your gf asks you "Where did you learn that move" after sex, and you say Ricardo Arona.
15- When your wife catches you shadow boxing in the kitchen and just shakes her head.
16- When you are showing your 2 year old how to use his feet from his back.
17- When you wonder when you will get the chance to use your skills on a laymen, and how it will go down.
18- When you suffer withdraw from COMBAT
19- Can't watch a boxing match without screaming "KNEEEES!!!!"
21- When someone gives you a hug you pummel for underhooks
22- Assume everyone you meet from Brazil is a bonafide badass
23- When you enter a room, you start sizing guys up and deciding which ones you can beat up, you try to figure out how long it would take you to beat them up
24- When you go to hug freinds/family and you look for double underhooks!!!!
25. You practice shooting in your backyard until your knees are green.
26. Whenever you hug someone you find yourself using a wrestling grip.
27. Whenever your having sex you try and pass the guard.
28. When you see someone who appears to be Brazilian you immediately try to start a conversation about vale tudo
29. When your going down on your girl you think about how you could slam her like rampage did to arona
30. You start thinking about fighting while watching p0rn.
31. When you walk into a room you check to see who has cauliflower ears
32. When massaging your girls' feet in the bath, you think about going for a heel-hook
33. You pretend to traingle your cat when its sat in your lap (I've been busted doing this...)
34. You bump into inanimate objects and you instantly turn ready to perform a swift hit
35. Before your about to have sex you yell "LETS GET IT ON!!"
36. You have hipped tossed and shin kicked 90% of your friends and family.
38. wen u cant sleep at night and u practice bjj moves on ur pillows
39. when everything on your and your kids x-mas list is MMA related
40. when you think your a bad ass on the ground becase you own the ADCC DVD's
41. you yell out "YOU KNOW" while you climax with your girl
42. you won't hang out with anyone unless they are brazilian, russian, or japanese
43 when your with your girl doggy and try to put in your hooks
44. when your girl goes down and you think a transition to triangle would be easy
45. when in 69 you with your girl you start to worry about knees to the head
46. when no family members will hug you anymore for fear of a hip toss
47. When someone asks you your favorite sexual position and you say "north/south".
48. every time you walk into an office meeting you think "I could kick every one's ass"
49. When you meet someone you think about what you should use to defeat them striking or take it to the ground. If you see someone whos way bigger you immediatly think of nog vs sapp.
50. When you answer all your wifes questions with "Hickson by armbar!"
- 09-17-2006, 03:17 PM
Number 36 and 46 is all me. I annoy the hell out of people.
- 09-17-2006, 03:57 PM
09-17-2006, 05:37 PM
43 is probably the funniest out the bunch. I also put a guillotine and an anaconda on my dogs while I am playing with them.
09-17-2006, 06:18 PM
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