TRT at age 18

factsmachine

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I've always felt lacking in masculinity, pretty much had depression and anxiety the last 4 years. The whole reason I started lifting is I wanted to feel more like a man. I have no drive, no motivation, I'm lethargic, don't seek a good time, no libido, anti-social as hell, can't get an erection half the time, stressed out a large portion of the time. I've tried many different things for depression and anxiety, but I still dont feel "normal".
So I finally decided that I should get a blood test. I'm tired of feeling like crap always. But I had access to a bottle of Testosterone Cypionate 250mg/ml, and I wanted to see how I would feel on a standard dose (not a cycle dose) to get my T up and see if that's the problem. I had my dose of .8 ml (200mg) 3 days ago and I feel normal for the first time since I can remember. I'm not lacking in motivation anymore, I feel driven, dominant, have a strong libido, great confidence, excellent tolerance for stress and I could keep going if I wanted.
People are going to hate, I don't care, i'm not looking for anything but advice. I realize nobody wants an 18 year old to mess with his HPTA, fertility, and it just sounds stupid. There's plenty of hate and criticism surrounding a topic such as this. But I can't just ignore that I finally feel like I'm out of a 3-4 year long battle with serious depression.
My questions are:
I realize I goofed up taking the T dose before I planned on getting blood work. My T will start going down in close to a week. And the Test should be out of my blood in about 2 weeks..
How many days after that should I wait to go get a blood test to find out my normal T, FT, LH, E2, T3, etc. etc. levels? I'm gonna get everything checked, I've never had a blood test before. I should get cortisol checked too, it antagonizes the effects of testosterone. To many doctors, if I test anything above 300ng/dl they're gonna be like oh its fine blah blah. But that means I would be at my peak now, and it'll only get worse.
 

Mr.TT

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You may not need TRT. Make sure the "etc. etc." includes DHEAs, DHT, SHBG, TSH, Prolactin, FSH, the non-sensitive E2 test.
 

factsmachine

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Okay, im glad you told me this!
My main question in this whole mess of post i wrote was:
I injected testosterone cypionate 200mg 4 days ago. It is my first dose i have ever taken. How long do i need to wait for my hormones to be back to what they were previously? Im not doing any serms, its only one dose. But i will keep my e2 in check until this is completely out.
 
Piston Honda

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"I had access to test..."

Did you not have access to cycle information?
 

factsmachine

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Of course I have access to "cycle information". I am not running a P.E Cycle, for muscle building. Im trying a single dose of testosterone to see if its the missing piece in the puzzle. Now that i believe it is, im headed to the next step, the blood test to see if any other hormones could affect this. Prolactin, E2, cortisol, and TSH are other very important factors, to name a few.
Test Cypionate has a half life of 12 days according to what ive read. But many say that blood levels peak 36-48hours post injection and drop to below baseline within 6 days. Im curious how long a single dose of test will affect my endogenous production and how long it may take to return to baseline.
 
scherbs

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Of course I have access to "cycle information". I am not running a P.E Cycle, for muscle building. Im trying a single dose of testosterone to see if its the missing piece in the puzzle. Now that i believe it is, im headed to the next step, the blood test to see if any other hormones could affect this. Prolactin, E2, cortisol, and TSH are other very important factors, to name a few. Test Cypionate has a half life of 12 days according to what ive read. But many say that blood levels peak 36-48hours post injection and drop to below baseline within 6 days. Im curious how long a single dose of test will affect my endogenous production and how long it may take to return to baseline.
I am not sure that there is a clean answer to how long it will take for your levels to return to homeostasis-most people consider the first step a hormone test, not a misguided self experiment.
You may need to wait a month or so just to maximize your chances of getting an accurate baseline
 
hewhoisripped

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You may not need TRT. Make sure the "etc. etc." includes DHEAs, DHT, SHBG, TSH, Prolactin, FSH, the non-sensitive E2 test.
This. And what you felt may be in great part placebo. You would most probably will mess with your HPTA permanently, but if you're on for life that shouldn't be a problem. Don't worry about fertility, in 95% of the cases that's not a problem, in 99.99% not w permanent one (I.e. clomid and hcg + 6 moths off fixes it).

Oh and I'd wait as log as possible
 

factsmachine

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I am not sure that there is a clean answer to how long it will take for your levels to return to homeostasis-most people consider the first step a hormone test, not a misguided self experiment.
You may need to wait a month or so just to maximize your chances of getting an accurate baseline
I understand where you're coming from when you say that. But this experiment has far surpassed my expectations. now that I am aware of that, I may push to greater lengths than before to get my life back without needing testosterone injections, like T-boosters that dont really work, and reducing cortisol. instead of just getting a blood test and thinking, damn well this sucks I guess I'm on T for the rest of my life.
Ya never really know, till ya know. ya know?
Thanks for the advice man, ill be waiting a month or so till I get my blood test, and be to the doctor right afterwards.
So if im on for life theres no hope, or even reason to try to come off basically?
 
kenpoengineer

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Sounds like a plan: wait a month then get your blood tests done. A regular doctor will only test for total testosterone. Tell him your symptoms and "specifically" ask for all the tests mentioned in this thread. You may have physical issues (thyroid, etc) that is the cause if your "maybe low test" problems.
 

factsmachine

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Sounds like a plan: wait a month then get your blood tests done. A regular doctor will only test for total testosterone. Tell him your symptoms and "specifically" ask for all the tests mentioned in this thread. You may have physical issues (thyroid, etc) that is the cause if your "maybe low test" problems.
That does sound like a plan. Maybe ill even go to an endocrinologist to check out my cortisol better.
Tt, Ft, Lh, TSH, Prolactin, T3, T4, Shbg, Dht, nonsensitive e2 test, Fsh, anything else? Just to ensure all of the bases are covered.
 
kenpoengineer

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That does sound like a plan. Maybe ill even go to an endocrinologist to check out my cortisol better. Tt, Ft, Lh, TSH, Prolactin, T3, T4, Shbg, Dht, nonsensitive e2 test, Fsh, anything else? Just to ensure all of the bases are covered.
DHEA plus vitamin D levels.
 
hewhoisripped

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I'm by no means an expert on it but look into different types of T3 testing. IIRC you need T3RU (or one of the other 'non standard' tests) and whatnot to draw conclusions.
 
kenpoengineer

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OP, I see in other threads that you are ordering peptides. I recommend that you get off everything for this entire month before going for comprehensive bloodwork. If you don't the bloods will be a waste of time.
 

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Ill definitely check into everything i possibly can when i get the test, so we can find the problem.

Thats right, i really should. Cortisol and prolactin would be especially affected. Ill drop them a few weeks before the test.
I appreciate all the help guys, this problem will be fixed.
 

Yolked

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Ill definitely check into everything i possibly can when i get the test, so we can find the problem.

Thats right, i really should. Cortisol and prolactin would be especially affected. Ill drop them a few weeks before the test.
I appreciate all the help guys, this problem will be fixed.
No dude you gotta get off everything now. An then wait a month before getting test so everything normalizes. You shouldve got test done first... makes no sense
 
kenpoengineer

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No dude you gotta get off everything now. An then wait a month before getting test so everything normalizes. You shouldve got test done first... makes no sense
I second this! It doesn't make sense that you introduce errors in the testing by using anything. Two weeks is not a good plan. Your body doesn't react that quickly (even if you are 18 )!
 
wicked442

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You are not going to "feel" any dif from 1 pin of test cyp. Have you really thought of the commitment that TRT requires? You are talking thousands of shots over your lifetime. What a pain in the ass literally. So many other things you can try 1st. Def get bloods and rule anything else out.
 
Piston Honda

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I've always felt lacking in masculinity, pretty much had depression and anxiety the last 4 years. The whole reason I started lifting is I wanted to feel more like a man. I have no drive, no motivation, I'm lethargic, don't seek a good time, no libido, anti-social as hell, can't get an erection half the time, stressed out a large portion of the time. I've tried many different things for depression and anxiety, but I still dont feel "normal".
So I finally decided that I should get a blood test. I'm tired of feeling like crap always. But I had access to a bottle of Testosterone Cypionate 250mg/ml, and I wanted to see how I would feel on a standard dose (not a cycle dose) to get my T up and see if that's the problem. I had my dose of .8 ml (200mg) 3 days ago and I feel normal for the first time since I can remember. I'm not lacking in motivation anymore, I feel driven, dominant, have a strong libido, great confidence, excellent tolerance for stress and I could keep going if I wanted.
People are going to hate, I don't care, i'm not looking for anything but advice. I realize nobody wants an 18 year old to mess with his HPTA, fertility, and it just sounds stupid. There's plenty of hate and criticism surrounding a topic such as this. But I can't just ignore that I finally feel like I'm out of a 3-4 year long battle with serious depression.
My questions are:
I realize I goofed up taking the T dose before I planned on getting blood work. My T will start going down in close to a week. And the Test should be out of my blood in about 2 weeks..
How many days after that should I wait to go get a blood test to find out my normal T, FT, LH, E2, T3, etc. etc. levels? I'm gonna get everything checked, I've never had a blood test before. I should get cortisol checked too, it antagonizes the effects of testosterone. To many doctors, if I test anything above 300ng/dl they're gonna be like oh its fine blah blah. But that means I would be at my peak now, and it'll only get worse.
Looking back through this stupid post, nowhere do you mention going on TRT except for the thread title.

Hopefully your test levels are high from the original pin and your doctors will look at your bloodwork and say "your test is very high, you are not a candidate for TRT" and then we can laugh at your 18-year-old dumbassedness.
 
IFNutrition

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Hey brother. I agree that you need to drop the test and. You should wait 4-6 wks to get the bloods. What meds are you currently taking? It is very likely if you are depression meds that they could drop you test levels. At your age you could be experiencing delayed growth (full puberty). Or if you do have low test there has to be a reason and at your age you need to know. The most common reason for someone at your age to have low test is a pituitary tumor usually benign. They will need to do a MRI to see this. A friend of mine is 21 and had low test. Never did drugs , never drank, never used PHs or steroids, and had good muscle mass a full beard but had low test like 160 he went to 4 different doctors including endos and they have him a full runaround for the most part. Finally a ends said he would help him and they gave him his 6th blood draw and he ended up coming in at 250 total test. He said your fine. You are a healthy young man. Just makes you sick knowing this guy needs help and they wouldn't give it to him. So at that point he asked me what I would do and I told him I would run a low dose of test like 100mg every 5-7 days and find a doctor he can talk to about it. Tell the doc what he is doing and get bloods done every 3-6 months to keep an eye on everything like hemoglobin, HCT, RBC, lipids, liver enzymes , and so on.
 

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So we all agree, wait a month and get full blood tests. (and post all the results back here, Please)
I'm curious about your SHBG, FT, and E2 levels most of all. High SHBG could indicate Delayed Puberty.
DP is easy to fix, but seldom diagnosed, and has all different degrees. If you have a hard time waiting a month to get your blood tests, consider this.
SHBG can have up to an 18DAY half-life. Half-life times 4, is a rule of thumb for how long you have to wait.
I have high SHBG, and I have lab tested every herb and Pharm that can control it.
 

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On the NON-sensitive E2 test.....any certain lab, ie. Quest, Labcorp, etc ?
You may not need TRT. Make sure the "etc. etc." includes DHEAs, DHT, SHBG, TSH, Prolactin, FSH, the non-sensitive E2 test.
 
TGB1987

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I agree with IFNutrition and Mr.TT here. Definitely get some blood work and go from there. You are way to young to have to worry about the long term effects of testosterone replacement like IFNutrition mentioned (RBC, Hematocrit, Hemoglobin, Lipids, heart enlargement, and so on) I am a big believer in TRT being healthy if you are low but at your age there is definitely a reason why you are low. It is not a normal scenario and you need to know what is causing it. You don't want to have to go thru a lifetime of shots unless it is absolutely necessary. Try an over the counter test booster before going straight to testosterone. Yes Test boosters at your age are usually not very effective for most because they are already at a high level but in your case since you are low they could jump start production and help get you back to normal. The doctor may even prescribe you something like Clomid to boost LH production. There are many other options that you must exhaust first if you want to make the right decision for your health.
 

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By my own personal experience, Labcorp's Sensitive E2 test is flat out wrong...
Phil posted just a short while back that Quests Sensitive E2 test, is faulty also.
 
TGB1987

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By my own personal experience, Labcorp's Sensitive E2 test is flat out wrong...
Phil posted just a short while back that Quests Sensitive E2 test, is faulty also.
I wasn't aware of this. Can you provide a link to that thread? I would like to read that for myself. What was the issue with it? Thanks for the info
 

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Yeah these guys are giving you good advice. Cept honda... but you need to do this properly.
 

Mr.TT

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I wasn't aware of this. Can you provide a link to that thread? I would like to read that for myself. What was the issue with it? Thanks for the info
I have no idea on how to fast link you to another thread on this forum.

But the thread is titled Normal Total T, Low free T, Low E2

and Phil'S moniker is PMGAMER18

It was posted 8-3-2014.
 

factsmachine

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Thank you for your contributions, guys.

Alright, I just read this and I'm not taking anything else to change anything in my body. Besides fish oil, and vitamins. As far as medications go I started taking phenibut almost a year ago because I've been an insomniac since I was about 4 years old. Never able to fall asleep at night. Lately I noticed I get heart palpitations whenever I lay down as soon as I become aware of my heart beat, it starts beating harder and faster and makes it impossible to sleep. I'll drop the ashwagandha I'm taking.

Honda, you should be able to put 2 and 2 together and figure out that I was looking into TRT based on my symptoms and the positive effect I gained from a shot of T. Your snap judgements and ignorance don't affect me.

I realize that TRT is a life changer, a balance of benefits and downfalls. I REALLY don't want to have to go on it for the rest of my life. But if the benefits are greater than the downfalls and my blood work and tests show it's going to improve my quality of life then I will do it. There are other options, like SERM therapy I can try. I have tried supplements for the sexual issues but none really helped mood, and motivation. L-dopa helped my libido, Fenugreek did too. I have tried tribulus, I feel a slight difference for a couple days with mood and libido, but after that nothing. It's too early to plan out my course of action at the moment, but it really does help to learn everything I can before I need to act.

Mr.TT, It took later than usual for me to go through puberty but I dont think that's still the case. What was that you were saying about SHBG? Are you saying that because I had a shot of T my SHBG levels will be higher than normal, therefore I need to wait atleast a month?
Searched up those key words and I got this message connection to 10.17.22.2:9312 failed (errno=111, msg=Connection refused)
 

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Thank you Gentleman ...yes this E2 is driving me effing crazy! I have only done quests in the last coupla years have Never had higher than 28 or lower than 17! Yet I am having the horrible symptoms of LOW or HIGH E2. btw I am familiar with phil/PM gamer also follow him on yahoo group.
I have no idea on how to fast link you to another thread on this forum.2
But the thread is titled Normal Total T, Low free T, Low E2

and Phil'S moniker is PMGAMER18

It was posted 8-3-2014.
 

factsmachine

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Very interesting thread. The main thing i got out of it is that thyroid levels may play more of a role in testosterone and mood than i thought before. They lost me near the end with all the new abbreviations and words i havent seen before. So Var lowers shbg very well? And nettle works minimally. Im definitely going to get everything checked. I dont think i ever provided my stats to help with more insight.
Ht 5'10 155 lb low body fat, always been skinny not much muscle. (highest weight in my whole life, i had problems with my appetite due to anxiety before i started ghrp6. Very very little hunger normally. Im 15 pounds heavier since im able to start eating)
I have no idea on how to fast link you to another thread on this forum.

But the thread is titled Normal Total T, Low free T, Low E2

and Phil'S moniker is PMGAMER18

It was posted 8-3-2014.
 
PalmFist

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I'm gonna have to agree that there's no way you're feeling better has anything to do with a single pin of 200mg cyp... Especially after only four days...

Cyp is such a long ester, maybe if you had said prop 4 days ago followed by TNE an hour ago that might make sense. I mean what really grinds my gears is it seems like you have a decent academic understanding of cycling but went ahead and did something stupid anyway. Good luck but this isn't your answer bud
 
Blergs

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I've always felt lacking in masculinity, pretty much had depression and anxiety the last 4 years. The whole reason I started lifting is I wanted to feel more like a man. I have no drive, no motivation, I'm lethargic, don't seek a good time, no libido, anti-social as hell, can't get an erection half the time, stressed out a large portion of the time. I've tried many different things for depression and anxiety, but I still dont feel "normal".
So I finally decided that I should get a blood test. I'm tired of feeling like crap always. But I had access to a bottle of Testosterone Cypionate 250mg/ml, and I wanted to see how I would feel on a standard dose (not a cycle dose) to get my T up and see if that's the problem. I had my dose of .8 ml (200mg) 3 days ago and I feel normal for the first time since I can remember. I'm not lacking in motivation anymore, I feel driven, dominant, have a strong libido, great confidence, excellent tolerance for stress and I could keep going if I wanted.
People are going to hate, I don't care, i'm not looking for anything but advice. I realize nobody wants an 18 year old to mess with his HPTA, fertility, and it just sounds stupid. There's plenty of hate and criticism surrounding a topic such as this. But I can't just ignore that I finally feel like I'm out of a 3-4 year long battle with serious depression.
My questions are:
I realize I goofed up taking the T dose before I planned on getting blood work. My T will start going down in close to a week. And the Test should be out of my blood in about 2 weeks..
How many days after that should I wait to go get a blood test to find out my normal T, FT, LH, E2, T3, etc. etc. levels? I'm gonna get everything checked, I've never had a blood test before. I should get cortisol checked too, it antagonizes the effects of testosterone. To many doctors, if I test anything above 300ng/dl they're gonna be like oh its fine blah blah. But that means I would be at my peak now, and it'll only get worse.
wait 1-2 months... and understand even if you have low T it could be because you are not finished developing yet, wait till wasg 24+ to go on hrt. doing it before then means you lose out on any chance of you possibly developing normal levels. not worth risk IMO.. toss the bottle
 

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I read that levels peak after cyp 24-48 hours post pin. I did temporarely gain sexual function from the shot, higher than ive ever had. However i started getting senitive nipples and they hurt like crazy this is only a few days after one shot of cyp. That just seems weird to me. So i decided im done messing with my hormones after this until i get a firm understanding of my body, not what works for most people.
Started nolva at 20mg today, i dont want gyno at all. Im gonna keep running this nolva for atleast 2 weeks, maybe drop it to 10mg and run another week. Then ill have to wait even longer for a blood test, but i believe this is the best way to approach this right now.
 
Joshlm69

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I read that levels peak after cyp 24-48 hours post pin. I did temporarely gain sexual function from the shot, higher than ive ever had. However i started getting senitive nipples and they hurt like crazy this is only a few days after one shot of cyp. That just seems weird to me. So i decided im done messing with my hormones after this until i get a firm understanding of my body, not what works for most people.
Started nolva at 20mg today, i dont want gyno at all. Im gonna keep running this nolva for atleast 2 weeks, maybe drop it to 10mg and run another week. Then ill have to wait even longer for a blood test, but i believe this is the best way to approach this right now.
dont think youre going to get gyno off 1 pin.

just stop taking everything. are you mentally retarded? people have told you ten thousand times and you just dont listen. good luck ****ing your body up, your the only person to blame
 
kenpoengineer

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In the words of your generation: "Dude, put the bottles down and freakin step away from them"! You keep taking things into your body that will result in BAD bloodwork test results! As was said here already, stop EVERYTHING and wait a couple months for your body to stabilize. Get bloodwork and evaluate your results. It is very possible that you are in late puberty! Patience grasshopper!
 

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I still have test cypionate in my body. Just "stopping everything" would lead to more problems. Its highly possible i had pre existing gyno and increased prolactin and igf1 from the peptides along with raised estrogen from the T when my body already isnt used to high T probably all contributed to it. But i cant just wait and let my body just grow breasts. Youd do the same thing if it was you, nobody wants to let that happen. Like you say, patience. I already ****ed up now i have to undo the damage and then wait longer. My body was already messed up, i did some dumb experimentation and now im paying for it. Lesson learned.
 

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I read that levels peak after cyp 24-48 hours post pin. I did temporarely gain sexual function from the shot, higher than ive ever had. However i started getting senitive nipples and they hurt like crazy this is only a few days after one shot of cyp. That just seems weird to me. So i decided im done messing with my hormones after this until i get a firm understanding of my body, not what works for most people.
Started nolva at 20mg today, i dont want gyno at all. Im gonna keep running this nolva for atleast 2 weeks, maybe drop it to 10mg and run another week. Then ill have to wait even longer for a blood test, but i believe this is the best way to approach this right now.
Take a deep breath, and hold it while you read the rest of my post. It is apparent to me and the rest of us that your anxiety is getting to you. We agree that you may have a hormone imbalance, and our many years of experience tell us that blood tests is the place to start. You cannot solve a problem, until you understand the problem. Throwing Jello (meds) at a wall, until something sticks, has a low probability of success. Now, exhale.
 

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Yeah, it is getting to me again. Theres so many things i wish i could change about myself. It all stems from childhood really, feeling inadequate.
Alright, i get it. So even if im showing gyno symptoms now just stop the nolva and wait a few weeks then get a blood test?
Im tired of letting my problems create more problems. Subconsciously i understand why i thought test was working for me. My whole life ive searched for something to make me feel complete. Tried so many drugs, natural cures, herbs, experiences, meditation and none have completely helped. I wanted to finally stop my search and say that test works for me so i could get on with my life. Its apparent to myself and just about anybody in this thread that i have anxiety and issues of feeling inadequate. Psychiatrists and psychologists never helped, hopefully an endocrinologist will.
 
kenpoengineer

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Old guy here with a lot of life behind me. First, you are only 18. You have decades yet to improve and find your path. Don't be so hard on yourself. Second, plan your plan and then work your plan. Stop shotguning with all these herbs and supplements. Wait a month after you stop all supplements and hormonals then go get bloodwork. Explain to doctor your issues. With facts in hand you will be able to make decisions and work your plan in an educated fashion.
 

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Sounds like a perfect plan to me, thanks man. Ill be sure to report back when i get some blood results.
 
scherbs

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OP-I wish you the best, but remember: happiness does not come in a pill or a vial.
You say that psychologists have never helped, at the end of the day, you need to work with them, they can't crack your skull and change your thoughts.
Might be time to give a bit of therapy another shot
 

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One shot of testosterone e or c is not going to do anything but cause placebo effect. It takes 4-6 weeks MINIMUM to actually get any results from TRT that are not psychosomatic. It is good that you are sort of reading and researching but you should actually be working with a doctor and endocrinologist, especially due to your age. I also agree that psychological therapy is going to be a part of this as well, the thing is you actually have to WANT to make improvements and changes.
 

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I'm putting it all out on the table now. That's the only way I'll get through this. I did a 4 week cycle of test and epistane. I have been using opiates for the last few months and decided to put a stop to that. So I quit about 36 hours ago and I'm suffering. But my personality is coming back, its ironic, I really thought feeling good would make my personality better but it didnt. So right here I am at the tail end of a cycle unable to work out basically stuck in bed and very hard to eat.
I'm starting college next month. I'm seeing a doctor for a blood test. However he only ordered these: T3, T4, Testosterone free and total, and prolactin. My results will be skewed as I'm starting pct in a few days and have 1 month till I need to get my blood test. But I will get through this and do amazing things, I know I have the capabilities, even though I've wasted time.
 

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You're having opiate withdrawal? Oh now I understand why you're all messed up. Oxytocin? How much a day?
 

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Yeah. Been on any opiate I could get for the last few months every day. Not very high dosages but definitely everyday. Tramadol, percocet, vicodin, kratom. I've been on it mostly to deal with taking care of my 91 year old grandma with beginning stages of Alzheimer's. Extremely stressful when she's already very hard to talk to. My mom was selfish my whole life too.
I'll put my whole life out here on the table for you guys to analyze, its just a forum and pretty anonymous. I've made ****ed up choices forsure. My mom is the most selfish person ever, and it makes me think that everybody else is the same way because that's what I was raised around.
Our past experiences change our perception of the current moment unfolding right in front of us, blinding us to prejudice.
 
kenpoengineer

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How are you doing coming off the opiates? Be strong and remember to take one day at a time.

There comes a time when a man has to move on instead of living in the past. Right now you have to concentrate on just you and get clean. Stay strong.
 

sammpedd88

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Yeah. Been on any opiate I could get for the last few months every day. Not very high dosages but definitely everyday. Tramadol, percocet, vicodin, kratom. I've been on it mostly to deal with taking care of my 91 year old grandma with beginning stages of Alzheimer's. Extremely stressful when she's already very hard to talk to. My mom was selfish my whole life too. I'll put my whole life out here on the table for you guys to analyze, its just a forum and pretty anonymous. I've made ****ed up choices forsure. My mom is the most selfish person ever, and it makes me think that everybody else is the same way because that's what I was raised around. Our past experiences change our perception of the current moment unfolding right in front of us, blinding us to prejudice.
Two things you need to do man....stop the pills no matter how bad you feel and get some counseling. You need this man.
 

factsmachine

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I'm working with it man, just like you said, one day at a time.
The most intense withdrawal has been this morning and last night. Strong anxiety, shakes, flu like symptoms, yawning, tearing of the eyes. I told my friend anybody that talks to me must feel really bad about themselves after. I yawn about every 30 seconds, they must think they're boring me to death haha!
Its not just the addiction that made my life hard, its constant criticism that drove me to seek relief, social isolation (rarely leave my house), no job, not much motivation because talking to people makes me feel anxious.
A therapist is definitely necessary. My doctor lined me up with a couple and I need to give them a call. There's many many things I need to change.
I appreciate you checking back in. The worst of it should be over with. Now its all about the mental recovery.
 

v4lu3s

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Damn dude, you got some work cut out for you, but you are better off doing this NOW rather than later. My brother has been opiate addicted since his teens. I am glad you are confronting it. My relationship with my brother is broken because his addiction. He was on heroine for years, along with benzos, He lost a great girlfriend, multiple great jobs, has a criminal record now, and he has been addicted for 20 years. he finally got married to a woman that is great...but wants children. His problem is he has crushed testosterone, a varicocele, Hepatitis C, and is STILL on benzos and suboxone. He won't admit being an addict cause he "has a prescription" now. While you are young you can fix you your body a lot easier than later in life. Work all you can with a therapist, I think that can help a LOT more than any medication, whats found in a pill bottle or ampule can only help symptoms, but won't cure things.

As bad as the withdrawal is you got to make it through the physical part, as far as I know no one has ever died from it, but they have WISHED they were dead, especially if they were vomiting a lot. It gets harder the longer you are on.

I am not religious and don't believe in anything, if I did I would pray for you. All I can do is hope you have the strength to go through the path of hell it is going to take to get back to solid ground again. I would like to think you can do it since you have already done the hardest thing and admit you have a problem and need help.
 

Yolked

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Tuff situation but just keep fighting. I think your hormone situation is contributing to your depression and drug use. You say you've always felt like you have a lack of motivation, libido etc.. maybe there is something going on but if that's the case you're fighting 2 obstacles. One day at a time and remember to be grateful for what you do have. Stay in the fight brother
 

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