Mashed Needs help on getting over his wife
- 04-29-2008, 08:11 AM
- 04-29-2008, 09:53 AM
Is she on any meds for her metal problems? I have a condition called Cyclothymia, which is a form of Bipolar disorder. It went undiagnosed for years. I never had the depression, but I was often hypo-manic. Helped in the gym, but nearly destroyed everything that mattered in my life. I never cheated, but I spent money like mad (thank you Full Tilt Poker!), and drank like no tomorrow. I am not justifying anything about what she has done/doing, there is no excuse. But she may not even realize the pain she is causing. Deep down she does, but remember, she is delusional. I might try to get her help, but I don't think I would reconcile, too much has gone on and the bridge has been destroyed. I wouldn't wish it on anyone and feel for you terribly. The folks here have offered some great advice and support, gotta love this place.
I would definitely move, at least out of the house. No way you will be able to banish the memories, good and bad. I would log everything she is/has done and get some friends to back you up on them. I hate it when I see these things happen, no one wins, at least in the short run. That said, you now DO have a fresh start and a real chance at happiness.
BTW, my younger brother suckered me into meeting with a doctor. Best thing that ever happened to me. Been on a drug called Lamictal for four years and have been a completely changed man. Never been happier, nor has my family. Hope this helps in some way. You deserve more.
Praying for peace for you....
04-29-2008, 03:45 PM
I know this went down a month ago, but I wanted to offer my 2 cents just in case it can help.
Man, I know the feeling all too well. I've never been married, but the girl who I was certain I'd one day end up with decided it would be a better idea to hook up with some guy she met at a bar. It really messed me up bad, and if there's one piece of advice I can give you it's STOP TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF IT. Thinking too much is your enemy here. You start asking yourself all these questions -- what went wrong? and how did you deserve it? -- and the problem with that is that you probably will never find an answer. It doesn't always make sense, and it doesn't need to. Especially if she's manic! She screwed up. Bad. You don't owe her anything. Who cares how well you think you understand her. I bet you if she stopped for a second she wouldn't even be able to make sense of it. Everything happens for a reason. Try to look at it as HER LOSS - not yours. Think of this as your chance to "upgrade". You've gotta find a way to get past everything and move on with your life otherwise it can be an endless, self-torturing cycle.
Look bro, you're a young dude. 23 years old? Man, you've got a whole lot of life left to live, brother. Looking back at my failed relationship I was 22 when we broke up and on the verge of settling down, and while that's all fine and dandy, when I think about all the great things I would've missed out on these past 7 years I can't help but feel grateful that we're not together. Time heals broken hearts, and that's all it's gonna take. In the meantime you have to find a way to get past thinking about it all the time. Work on you. Hit the gym. Do your best to get into the best shape of your life. Think about all the beautiful women you now have the potential to meet and who will have the honor of hanging out with you. You might've forgotten already, but single life can be damn good too! Surround yourself with positive people and don't forget to love yourself. It's easy to fall in a rut and sit at home depressed, but that won't do you any good. Get out of the house, be active, and don't look back! It might seem tough, but you'll notice in due time that you're a lot stronger than you credit yourself for being. I hope you're doing better, and I wish you all the best, brother.
04-29-2008, 09:13 PM
04-30-2008, 03:29 PM
04-30-2008, 06:57 PM
Well, I'm glad you're still alive and not locked up for killing someone. LOL I really hope things working out for the better, man.
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