am.com member: Force Of Green

ReaperX · 02-28-2008, 01:38 PM

I'm sure most of you know Force Of Green who is a member here. Anyways, I exchanged PMs with him back and forth several times last year Nov-Dec. Some of the things he was going through he stated in his log, but there were some things that were also a struggle for him during these times which were very disturbing that he had mentioned to me.

He was going through a difficult time of depression and had many troubling issues occur to say the least. Last time it has shown him to log on was back in 1-22-08. He has not replied to the last PM I sent him awhile ago.

Hopefully everything is working out for the best and please keep him in your thoughts.

t3stxlr4titud · 02-28-2008, 03:10 PM

I do not know who this Force of Green character is, but for respect of another human life, I hope all is well too.

-TF

**slow-mun** · 02-28-2008, 03:11 PM

He's on myspace, you could probably try reaching him there.

**slow-mun** · 02-28-2008, 03:20 PM

Nevermind, his last log in was Jan. 22, 2008. I'm concerned now too.

ReaperX · 02-28-2008, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slow-mun

Nevermind, his last log in was Jan. 22, 2008. I'm concerned now too.

Yeah he was telling me about the challenging circumstances that he was facing and his struggles. It was a very serious matter. I hope all is well.

**bolt10** · 02-28-2008, 03:36 PM

i hope all is well too

MentalTwitch · 02-28-2008, 03:44 PM

Well me too. Dude was/is dedicated. He was ripped and knew what he was doing.

Hope all is well, keep us updated.

Mulletsoldier · 02-28-2008, 04:32 PM

I hope he is well, based solely on my respect for life as well.

But, forums and social networking sites aren't somebody's entire life. He may very well be perfectly fine, and just went offline; fairly common.

Either way, hope nothing is wrong.

Ripped1 · 02-28-2008, 04:41 PM

not sure who this dude is but good to see that the friends he has here are concerened. That is why this board has been around forever

MentalTwitch · 02-28-2008, 04:41 PM

I was thinking the same thing. Alot of people fall off for awhile or permanent. I wasnt on my car club forum since last summer until a few days ago.

**matthew76** · 02-28-2008, 10:57 PM

He's just clearing his head and fighting the demons that prey on us all at times. He'll be fine.

**RenegadeRows** · 02-29-2008, 05:09 AM

I'm sure he's alright ... computer stuff can def. fall by the wayside while you go through stuff.

datBtrue · 02-29-2008, 07:35 AM

A quick google found this sad post of his on the Methamphetamine Abuse Discussion Forum, dated 12/23/07:

forceofgreen - Never thought I'd resort to this crap

I would like to say hello to the board, first and foremost! I am 24 years old, I moved to LA from the East Coast and left my family to try something different. I had been doing well as a personal trainer and although I'd been ok as far as depression/anxiety since taking 30mg Cymbalta per day, I have my little issues like many. I would lack the self-esteem and confidence that I should have had and I still had some issues motivating myself to get necessary things done. I guess I realized that moving so far away from family (although annoying at times, the only true support system I have) was a mistake. I wasn't ready for such change. 8 months into my life, things slowly declined until it ended up that I was losing clients and was losing motivation to seek new ones. I wasn't good at saving money either. I ended up meeting the wrong character who lived in my building. He was a spoiled kid who had everything paid for except for the drugs which he got by dealing his own to fund his habits. I made a horrible choice and caved into peer pressure. I binged on coke for days until I ended up crashing for about 3 days and wasn't able to fully function for another few days. Long story short: I had a rapid decline in my situation and a rapid increase in depression. I lost everything except for my car and my clothes. I was also in debt. This was from one binge mind you. I went to a friends place to stay for a while and ended up finally in a hotel, at rock bottom. I had more and more series of stressful events including a falling out with my dad, lost my car, starting binge eating, and couldn't get out of bed for days except to renew the room and eat. My money was dwindling. I couldn't get up to shower or shave. A friend of mine (not anymore) came to see me and offered to help get me a place and help me motivate. I knew the dangers of meth, having a degree in psychology, but in a situation of desperation I agreed.

It was like signing a deal with the devil. I accomplished everything I needed and wished for, for the time being. I got everything packed and out, resolved a few issues and got into a place I am good to be at for another month now. I don't know if anyone has tried really low doses of the stuff, but it's been 10 days I've been dosing it at 60 mg in the morning and 40mg at night. I haven't done any since 4pm, yesterday. I thought I could control it, but I know that it will get out of control if used longer. I get to sleep every night with a dose of phenibut (like GHB), but this awful choice was only supposed to be a temporary solution.

I ask the board for your help. I am not sure what to expect as far as withdrawal, for everyone of the hundreds of testamonials I've read, the user takes between 1-3+ grams per day, becomes severely sleep deprived for days or weeks, and is using for years. I am pulling myself together and ordered a combination of supplements to get my body producing dopamine, nor-epinephrine, seratonin, and acetylcholine... I need to have a support group in place, for I have no one out here anymore. I can't rely on anyone except for a couple people who aren't even available. I can see now that as low as I may have tried to limit it, this substance holds no benefit and wish it could be uninvented. Is it possible for me to have a quick recovery?

**matthew76** · 02-29-2008, 07:45 AM

Yeah, I knew he was facing some hard times... We just need to pray for him.