Things overheard while working at a Supp store!!

[Gtarzan81]

I've worked at a supplement store for a month and a half now, and so far there are a few funny things I've heard so far. Anyone else feel free to chime in. I know SilentBob has a few....

1. "do you guys have any SUBLIMINAL B-12?" (word for word)

2. "I need some WEE/WHY protein." (word for word)

3. "I'm calling to see if you guys carry some supplement you've never heard of, by some manufacturer that no one knows of, and I'm not sure what its supposed to do exactly." (thats a paraphrase)

4. I'm looking for something to...ummm...you know...increase my girth...I heard its more important than length....is there anything you guys carry for that?" (Im not making this up. I tried hard to help the guy.)

5. "I'm calling to see if you guys have a few items in stock...I've got a short list of 27 items if you have a few minutes..."

 

[3clipseGT]

Hahah i worked in a supp store for a little bit and while i never really got anything like that the perverbial for me was.

" Do you guys have anything that will put on like 10-15lbs in a month, i think its called cell tech" Id get that or id ask them how old and if 21 or over id show them to the anabolics and then id get a response of.

" Why do i have to take a PCT?" Ill be fine np, can i stack all 3 of these?" Geeezzzeeee

 

[dsade]

4. I'm looking for something to...ummm...you know...increase my girth...I heard its more important than length....is there anything you guys carry for that?" (Im not making this up. I tried hard to help the guy.)

Ok...I gotta ask...how did you try hard to help the guy increase his girth? Did you demonstrate jelqing technique?

 

[Gtarzan81]

What is this jelquing technique you speak of?

I told him the women can spend a few grand and have bigger boobs, but for guys we pretty much have what we got. There are a few surgeries out there, but thats about it.
What we have in the store, can help with stamina, bloodflow, and erection strength. I told him I wish there was something I could really do for him with that, and showed him the sexual stims we have in the store, and told him about arginine. I then sold him some No. Explode! Just kidding.

Before he left I gave him the name of a guy David Shade who has an e-book or 2 on sexual technique also.

 

[Dr Packenwood]

I've never worked at a supp store, but people have approached me and asked such stupidities as (exact wording) "Do you take steroids? My boyfriend says creatine is supposed to turn fat into muscle. Does it work?"

And....

"If I take a fat burner do I have to do as much cardio?"
Uh...yes. And you still have to quit eating like ****.

 

[SilentBob187]

hmmm

1. Lemme get some of that psyllium powda. (pronouncing both p's)

2. Do you guys carry the muscle asylem project?

3. You got ritalin here?

4. What do you have that will make me take an 8lb sh!t. Have you seen the pictures from the sites online oh peoples poo? I want something like that. Do you have anything that'll make me take a huge sh!t. (sadly, I am quoting)

5. What do you have that you can use if you want to cut something. OH YOU KNOW, it's for if you want to cut something, like a powder, but you don't want people to know you cut it with anything.

6. I need something to clean out my system...I uh...smoked a little weed this weekend and I have a job interview on Monday. (It's either that or they outright steal a bottle of sh!t that I pray won't work for them )

 

[Gtarzan81]

"do you guys have anything for detox? I have this test coming up...."

 

[MuscleGuyinNY]

I can't imagine half of the shyt that employees hear at supplement stores. I wouldn't mind working at one, but the only one around here is GNC. Fcuk that. I wouldn't be able to stand making commission and conning people either.

I think it's funny how some people will be dumb enough to go into a supplement shop and ask for a banned steroid. That's just as low as those morons who go into headshops, asking everyone if they have weed, know where to get it, and call the paraphenelia either 'bongs' or 'pot pipes.'

 

[SilentBob187]

and call the paraphenelia either 'bongs' or 'pot pipes.'

It's called galssware sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave... :toofunny:

 

[john123131]

"do you guys have anything for detox? I have this test coming up...."

i use to get that alot, when the World Lacrosse Championships where in Halifax I had both team Canada and the USA players both come in and talk to me about drug test, weed, and one for ephedrine.

 

[methodice]

3. "I'm calling to see if you guys carry some supplement you've never heard of, by some manufacturer that no one knows of, and I'm not sure what its supposed to do exactly." (thats a paraphrase)

I used to ring up places like GNC and the btiches never knew what this or that was. Had to spell things out they would search, and 9/10 they wouldn't have it.

I never used to tell them what it was for exactly.. I was a bit embarrassed to mention extra girth.

And I really hate that question, "what do you use it for". If they don't have the stuff I am after I don't want the regular **** you carry that does f all. "may I suggest nitro-tech sir"

The only shop assistant I would want to speak to is dsade as I am sure he would be having a bulk coming in in a few weeks that would fit my needs.

 

[methusaleh]

I worked for the big G for a few years when I was in college. Only a few things come to mind now, but I am sure there were more...

If someone came in looking for "something to cleanse my system" and gave me a hard time about it, or about our (artificially inflated by the manager) prices for the stuff, I would smile sweetly and sell them a bottle of aloe vera juice...boy oh boy would it clean them out I bet!!!

I would occasionally get people who read an article saying they need weird amounts of nutrients, like 17.85mg a day of some vitamin or mineral, and they would be very discouraged when they found out we didn't carry it in those precise quantities.

The countless tales of humorous inositol sales, as someone alluded to above. I think my favorite was the two stoners, one of them said, "oh, it's by the B vitamins, no wonder I need so much of it, my doctor said I needed more B vitamins, I bet I will be real healthy now!"

There was a product (that rarely sold) called "Exercise In A Bottle." Go figure on the 10000 questions we would be asked about that!

 

[Red Dog]

:toofunny:

3. You got ritalin here?

lol this is hilarious -- NO WE DONT HAVE ANY FVCKIN RITALIN YOU DUMB BISH! :toofunny:

 

[Iron Warrior]

I once heard someone ask an employee at Vitamin Shoppe if they "the creatine that doesn't bloat you up and gives you 10 pounds a month".

 

[Polynomial]

I once heard someone ask an employee at Vitamin Shoppe if they "the creatine that doesn't bloat you up and gives you 10 pounds a month".

Yeah, but I'm pretty sure you have to inject that kind of creatine...

4. What do you have that will make me take an 8lb sh!t.

Correct response: "8 pounds of cheesecake"

 

[Gtarzan81]

I love when people mix acronyms when they ask for supps.
This literally happened to me yesterday.

"do you have any R-DHELA?"
ME:"never heard of it sir, who told you about it? It sounds like r-ala and DHEA, maybe a few letters got mixed?"

"Him:NOPE, thats defintely it. I head about it from my T.V. doctor"

 

[heebs10]

:toofunny::toofunny::toofunny::toofunny::toofunny::toofunny::toofunny:

sometimes i will go into GNC or the vitamin shoppe amd ask a question that i know they wont really no the answer, or even have a clue of what im talking about, just to see how they answer. its always hilarious to hear their response. no matter how complex the question is their always like, oh you mean no-xplode or cell tech. i can ask about a ingreadient that i just made up on the spot or say some crazy long nomenclature and they will pretend they know exactly what im talking about. its fun

 

[SilentBob187]

The countless non-english speakers that come in to the store to try and get a prescription filled. Whoever keeps telling them to come here needs to stop...seriously.

 

[MuscleGuyinNY]

The countless non-english speakers that come in to the store to try and get a prescription filled. Whoever keeps telling them to come here needs to stop...seriously.

Non-english, as in...?

 

[SilentBob187]

Non-english, as in...?

Hispanics

 

[MuscleGuyinNY]

Hispanics

Oh, boy. lol

 

[SilentBob187]

Oh, boy. lol

Yeah bro, I have nothing against them. But the Mexican embassy is literally less than a block away, and something tells me someone they are giving out false information regarding locations of actual pharmacies. The Kroger is closer than my store and they do have a pharmacy.

Ooo! Another one to add. People that refuse to listen to you when you try to get them to put the muscle tech down and hear about other products.

People that ask you a really off the wall question about a supplement and when you can't answer it, 1. due to DSHEA 2. because the response their looking for is inaccurate, or 3. simply because you really don't know. You get a nasty remark from them like "Oh I guess you wouldn't know that, you just work here."

Those people I want to kick in the teeth. I feel that I spend a lot of time outside of the store learning a decent amount about the random information that's in there, and when some f*cking c*ck/c*nt walks in there after reading Dr. D-bags new book on living forever, they assume that I should have read it as well and know everything that was in it. Some days I really want to rage on people in that store...could be worth it HULK SMASH!

 

[MuscleGuyinNY]

Yeah bro, I have nothing against them. But the Mexican embassy is literally less than a block away, and something tells me someone they are giving out false information regarding locations of actual pharmacies. The Kroger is closer than my store and they do have a pharmacy.

Ooo! Another one to add. People that refuse to listen to you when you try to get them to put the muscle tech down and hear about other products.

People that ask you a really off the wall question about a supplement and when you can't answer it, 1. due to DSHEA 2. because the response their looking for is inaccurate, or 3. simply because you really don't know. You get a nasty remark from them like "Oh I guess you wouldn't know that, you just work here."

Those people I want to kick in the teeth. I feel that I spend a lot of time outside of the store learning a decent amount about the random information that's in there, and when some f*cking c*ck/c*nt walks in there after reading Dr. D-bags new book on living forever, they assume that I should have read it as well and know everything that was in it. Some days I really want to rage on people in that store...could be worth it HULK SMASH!

I have a friend. He's 18. Once I started getting into bodybuilding, so did he. But his metabolism is insane, so he can hardly put on any mass. What does he do? He goes to GNC and spends about $200+ on MT products. Just because he sees the packaging and price, and hears the hype. Therefore, 'it must be good.' He also gets high and drunk almost every night. He's like, "Oh yeah, you can drink as much as you want. It's fine. It won't hurt me at all." He'll then mention his friend at work, BJ. He's between 300 to 400 lbs. He's big, but not muscular. He seems to be more 'obese' than anything else. My friend tends to listen to that guy for advice on weight-lifting. I've tried helping my friend out. I've given him the usual lecture about MT products, about how they're underdosed and overpriced. I've talked to him about getting his routine and diet in order. This is somebody who was popping creatine pills like candy, without even working out at first! Thinking that it would actually do something for him. He's ridiculous. I don't know why he bothers wasting his time, trying to argue with me. You can tell him something, trying to help him out, but he'll just end up doing whatever he wants anyway.

I've worked in retail before and I've dealt with my fair share of rude customers. But, unfortunately, "the customer's always right," even if we agree to disagree. A lot of them need an attitude adjustment, but you could risk a lawsuit and losing your job. It's not worth it. Let them get their ego boost and just leave it alone.