The Best Revenge is Success
- 09-23-2007, 05:01 PM
The Best Revenge is Success
Just went through a break up and stumbled upon a revelation. A friend of mine made me go to some feing shui store with her. I hated it there...a little too much for me. I ended up seeing something that changed my mentality. It was simply a rock that had "The Best revenge is Success" etched into it. I started to think about that for a while and it makes sense. If anything pisses someone off more... it's seeing their ex doing better off without them. Since reading this, i have put my 2 weeks in at my job in order to begin working on my carreer, bought a newer car and made more time to work out. The reason I'm writing this is to help anyone that might have gone through a break up recently. It's not a bad thing, not at all. Just use your extra time to make your self better and improve upon your self. Part of being healthy is being healthy mentally. Don't obsess over your ex....just move on and grow.
- 09-24-2007, 12:55 AM
- 09-24-2007, 12:59 AM
09-24-2007, 01:18 AM
09-24-2007, 02:20 AM
I just went through this myself.
It seems the more successful I become in life in general, the more my ex seems to go downhill. I can totally see why we ended up divorced a year and a half after the fact. Her lifestyle leans towards failure, debt, and acting before you think.
Mine leans towards the opposite. I've always had some degree of success until she came along and anchored me down mentally.
I love it when me and my new girl run into her. She's gained 40 lbs since, and looks like she's went back to old habits.
09-25-2007, 08:14 AM
I dated a girl from my junior year in highschool until my sophmore year in college and pretty much gave up all my friends because of her. Well her freshman year in college she does the old you changed and i dont know what i want, turns out she was cheating on me big time and just wanted to string me along incase her new guys didnt work out. We finally broke up around christmas time that year but i was devestated... constantly getting sick to my stomach, ended up getting pneumonia and it honestly was the lowest point in my life. When i finally got my head out of my rear i started engulfing myself in working out, studying and practicing my butt off for sports nonstop. By that summer i was shredded, made the honors college at my university and competed at the highest level i ever played. My ex girlfriend got dumped by everyone of the guys and had some neurological attack that paralyzed her face... i never wished her any ill will whatsoever but that honestly made me a believer in Karma !!
09-25-2007, 09:24 AM
09-25-2007, 10:21 AM
With that success come a lot of things...most importantly perspective.
The memories are still fresh in your mind, and for right now that pain drives you to succeed. It works initially, but will poison you if you remain that way. Concentrate all your free energy on shifting away from succeeding "just to show her" to doing what YOU love for YOU.
True happiness can be reaped from a soil of pain...it just takes time.
Evolutionary Muse - Inspire to Evolve
Flawless Skin Couture - We give you the tools to make you Flawless
09-25-2007, 01:05 PM
I agree with everything said in this post. The whole experience i went through showed me pain is temporary and its always darkest before the sunrise.
09-25-2007, 01:12 PM
09-25-2007, 01:44 PM
09-25-2007, 10:51 PM
09-25-2007, 11:00 PM
I have come to the realization that you can either dwell in your pain from the loss of a relationship and find yourself in a downward spiral. Or you can use it to focus on yourself and become an even better and more rounded person.
09-26-2007, 12:24 AM
I am using the loss I am going through to do some long overdue emotional housekeeping. Since the is the 2nd time she committed adultery, I finally realized I never grieved the loss the first time (and she sure didn't - after all - there was a 2nd time, right?). All I did was get PO'd, then stuff the emotion; not ever having to face the emotions and feelings underlying the anger. Not good.
There has been way too much emotional stuffing. I became angry and hurt - but not because of what I had done, but because of what someone else did. I, without really realizing it, allowed her cheating on me to ruin several years of my life. I know it has kept me from being the man I was supposed to be during those years. So, if I have to go through this (and indeed I do) at least I might as well do it right this time, and get healthy.
I can't afford for her lack of character and integrity to define my feelings of self worth. The grieving process probably won't be too much fun, but I've got a really good friend willing to invest the time and emotions to go through this with me. What a huge gift - really.
09-26-2007, 12:56 AM
You also have the choice to do what I did. Give up on relationships and just keep nice with a few reliable **** buddies. But that's only for people who really feel they're just not gonna be right in any relationship.
Anyway, it's an option.
09-26-2007, 08:19 AM
I think the hardest thing about all my previous relationships is that the person I was with at the time told me how they cared about me, etc, etc, etc then after such a long time things went bad and I got to see how they really are. One person I was dating really cared about me and I don't think our relationship could have gotten any better....it was literally bliss for me.
Then I hit a low point in my life and everything seemed to be going wrong, and I mean everything. This girl who I cared about greatly hightailed it out of the relationship. It was the hardest thing because everything she said/did made me think that she'd be there no matter what. That could not be farther from the truth.
It makes me wonder if the possibility of finding someone who will be the perfect person for you is like 0.00000001% ?
09-26-2007, 10:05 AM
I'm just amazed to see how many of us are going through literally the same exact thing.
09-26-2007, 10:35 AM
09-26-2007, 12:52 PM
09-27-2007, 03:47 PM
09-28-2007, 12:42 AM
09-28-2007, 07:50 PM
Wow, I didn't expect this many responses. I thought this thread woud have ended up on another page by now or I was gonna get flamed. Glad so many people could relate and realize a break up isn't the end of the world.
09-30-2007, 12:05 AM
This is a great thread. I believe it all comes back to self-confidence, or a lack there of. When you put out your best effort in any given situation, and know this in all honesty, never let someone else lead you to believe less of yourself. Never. Allowing others to decide what is good or bad about you is a sure path to being unhappy.
Dsade makes a great point about not letting the idea of revenge be your motivation. This will lead you to more disappointment in the long run. Simply decide to be the best you for you. Then decide what it is YOU want. IF YOU FOLLOW THROUGH, this is what will make YOU happy in the long run.
Thats a great revelation you had 1slowcivic, most never get it.
10-02-2007, 05:33 AM
I guess we all have a dreaded story like this:
7 years ago, I was working at a department store and before long, I did something that I vowed I'd never do....I began dating a couple of coworkers. The first one was 17 years my junior (I was 37; she was 20). The sex was great but we only dated shortly. Not long thereafter, I dated another coworker. A very sexy 24 year old Mexican MILF. But 2 months later, not only did she decide to break up with me but she and her department manager had to concoct a fraudulent sexual harassment incident to get me fired.
Well, as I've always said, God takes revenge on those who avenge others. Because days after I was let go, I was hired at the job that I'm working now. Also days after my dismissal, the store was given a $10,000 citation by the Fire Department for having loads of craps in front of their circuitry boxes, which I've often warned them about when I was working in my department warehouse. In addition, the store manager was transferred and the department manager was fired for stealing. The dumb b*tch was caught on video, in fact. As for my girl, Ms. 2 time employee of the month? She was fired for not showing up for work quite often; at one time for a straight week.
Best part, my 1st coworker/ex-girlfriend and I have been friends ever since. Even became friends w/benefits for a year.
TheChosen12012 A.P.F California State Champion& 2 Class Record Holder (Deadlifts)
10-02-2007, 06:25 AM
10-02-2007, 12:34 PM
I think that almost everyone can relate to your storys in some way.... but i dont think you would truelly appreciate a good women/relationship if you hadnt gone through the bad... its all relative... that one that hurts you will only make the one the treats you right seem that much greater...
women can be tricky thats for sure.......
10-07-2007, 01:09 PM
i definitely am so thankful that i went through my bad times because i know that i wouldn't appreciate or treat the one im with now as good as i do.
11-01-2007, 10:59 PM
I think you should better yourself for YOU and not to get revenge on someone else. HOWEVER...if in the process they get to face their karma while seeing you enjoy your success, thats a great side benefit =)
I hope to hear some more comments from those with good karma stories from their relationships.
11-01-2007, 11:20 PM
great story man. Nice to see you pulled yourself up by the boostraps (old saying).
(off topic slightly)
Arnoldismyidol, lol you have "myusername" in your sig :
"I'll show you guys, just wait. I'll figure how to do everything all on my own and come back bigger than anyone in here."
Oh did we laugh....
Got to give it to him, the kid sure had the determination.
(end of offtopic - hehe)
11-02-2007, 06:20 AM
Good thread indeed. I realized that I have become a better person after what happened to me. I've grown mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I can honestly say now that who ever I end up with will definitely get the best of me. I'm excited at what the future holds. Just know that it gets better my friend.
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