My son's 1st fight

[datsthat]

My 5yr old son's preschool teacher called yesterday while I was at work to let me know he got into a fight with another student. My son is fine, no punches were thrown, just pushing and then my son got dragged by his hood while he was crying. WTF! I had no idea kids so young has this type of meanness. My son is no saint, but dragging another kid by his hood is hard core.

He has a bump on his head and forehead is scratched. He's fine. I am sure this bothered me more than him.

I am sure this is just the beginning. Should I teach him to defend himself? Or would that just be fuel to the fire?

 

[Audioph1x]

Yeah definitely teach him to defend himself. Kids are ****ed up these days

 

[datsthat]

Yeah definitely teach him to defend himself. Kids are ****ed up these days

Should I wait until he older? I was thinking about getting him into martial arts so he can learn about respect

 

[Aleksandar37]

Should I wait until he older? I was thinking about getting him into martial arts so he can learn about respect

This would be my recommendation. It helps to know how to defend yourself, but even more so when to use it.

 

[Afi140]

This would be my recommendation. It helps to know how to defend yourself, but even more so when to use it.

This ^^
It's definitely a tough situation and I could imagine how much it bothered/hurt you. Hopefully it will get resolved quickly and won't happen again.

 

[kboxer7]

Should I wait until he older? I was thinking about getting him into martial arts so he can learn about respect

This.

It's a wonderful thing for kids. They learn discipline, respect, situational awareness and confidence.

Later on when he's pre-teen/teen get him into something more realistic/functional in terms of actually being able to defend himself.

I speak from experience.

 

[Audioph1x]

Should I wait until he older? I was thinking about getting him into martial arts so he can learn about respect

I agree with what others have said. But he's your son, go with your gut.

 

[Mkgain1]

I'd have him join the wrestling team at school, we all stuck together, kept each other out of trouble as well as we knew we'd get kicked off the team. It builds a mental toughness about you as well that I believe can help you at other stages in life. Also the coaches and teachers usually made sure you were taking your school work seriously as well.

And everyone always knew not to f*ck with the wrestlers or you'd get dropped on your head

 

[kboxer7]

I'd have him join the wrestling team at school, we all stuck together, kept each other out of trouble as well as we knew we'd get kicked off the team. It builds a mental toughness about you as well that I believe can help you at other stages in life. Also the coaches and teachers usually made sure you were taking your school work seriously as well.

And everyone always knew not to f*ck with the wrestlers or you'd get dropped on your head

Good suggestion. Likely a bit young right now for wrestling yeah?

I don't think my school had it available till I was a bit older.

 

[Mkgain1]

Good suggestion. Likely a bit young right now for wrestling yeah?

I don't think my school had it available till I was a bit older.

Depends on your school district and all that stuff I'd assume, I'm pretty sure my townships start wrestling through the school systems at grade 1, some states are big on wrestling and some aren't

 

[ral]

Hey I just went through the same. My boy is 4 apparently some kid was bullying him so he punched him, it's been an ongoing issue, He is the smallest in the class and English is not our first language, I been training for years (bjj wrestling thai, boxing) still do however I never showed him much, he s too little and not interested. My policy is the following: if some one does something to you, you tell the teacher, if the kid continues after being told to stop you tell them to stop and you tell the teacher again if he continues after that then drop him and tell the teacher. If the teacher has a problem I'll deal with it. I still believe that at the end of the day I am the one that teaches my children what is right and wrong and when to defend himself.

 

[ral]

Great martial arts for kids wrestling and boxing disciple and extremely effective

 

[jgntyce]

My son will start kindergarten next year so this thread and pieces of advice are very valuable !

 

[Aleksandar37]

Also, it helps to make the teachers/counselors/other parents aware of the situation. Even if that doesn't solve the issue, it shows you tried in case something happens.

 

[123abcabcabc]

Fighting later on in life leads to more court battles and legal trouble.

Lol your son's school could be sued up the *** for not supervising the kids. Especially if one of them is injured on schoolgrounds.

 

[ral]

Fighting is not necessary, I believe that being diplomatic is the best answer and I want to teach my kids that. I am very diplomatic and play the game with the teachers (they know I'm on their side, at least I got them thinking so, bring them cookies and chocolates in special occasions etc.) sounds dumb but it goes a long way at the end of the day it's all for the benefit of my son so yeah I'll do whatever it takes screw my dignity and pride. I believe teach them to fight it s a great tool for them to have it teaches to respect violence and to understand that no one is untouchable trained or not trained. I been training for over 20 years, not one street fight. Came close but I walked away nothing to prove and I don't want to get hurt I would love for my kids to do that.

 

[BlockBuilder]

I feel like the martial arts class is a great way to go. Also. 5 yrs old? Jesus man..this is sad to hear. That's so small. Dragging by the hood? So awful. That kid will probably be a menace in 5 yrs. wonder where this kid is learning to be so violent

 

[kisaj]

I'd highly recommend martial arts, but not all places are the same. You need one that allows and teaches sparring. My 7 year old started when she was 4 and just earned her brown belt and in training for black belt this spring. She's won numerous competitions in state and took 4th overall in sparring. It has helped tremendously with decision making, confidence, respect, and consequently- the ability to stop and avoid fights. We've been notified twice about her breaking up fights and protecting younger kids at school, so they put her name and hand print on the "friendship bench". Our youngest just started and she just turned 4.

I've grown up around martial arts, various self defense training, boxing, etc and would be happy to offer any advice if needed.

 

[Mkgain1]

I feel like the martial arts class is a great way to go. Also. 5 yrs old? Jesus man..this is sad to hear. That's so small. Dragging by the hood? So awful. That kid will probably be a menace in 5 yrs. wonder where this kid is learning to be so violent

My lady studies child psych and runs a school for children from 6 months old till they're ready for kindergarten and she told me that by that age majority of how a child acts out in ways is an extension of what he/she was taught through observation at their home life (ex. Parents fighting, siblings fighting, domestic violence.. In this instance) she says its sad because they can tell basically what goes on behind closed doors to some of these kids and their families, but can't do anything about it within reason..

 

[Mkgain1]

I'd highly recommend martial arts, but not all places are the same. You need one that allows and teaches sparring. My 7 year old started when she was 4 and just earned her brown belt and in training for black belt this spring. She's won numerous competitions in state and took 4th overall in sparring. It has helped tremendously with decision making, confidence, respect, and consequently- the ability to stop and avoid fights. We've been notified twice about her breaking up fights and protecting younger kids at school, so they put her name and hand print on the "friendship bench". Our youngest just started and she just turned 4.

I've grown up around martial arts, various self defense training, boxing, etc and would be happy to offer any advice if needed.

That's awesome man, I hope you're proud of her this world needs more people that breaks up fights instead of pulling out a cell phone to record it

 

[kisaj]

That's awesome man, I hope you're proud of her this world needs more people that breaks up fights instead of pulling out a cell phone to record it

Absolutely. But, it also helps with everything and builds upon what we teach at home. Confidence when walking, talking in front of people, looking people in the eye, manners, family, etc.. Martial arts aren't about fighting, they are about providing a structure and helping to teach/solidify a core set of principals.

 

[T-Bone]

When I was a youngster I took Karate Class at the Y. It was Washin-Ryu. I was only able to meet Hidy Ochiai one time that I remember. I remember being amazed watching him. Something I'll never forget. Definitely recommended for kids to start karate. Watch this video of him from 1989 for his philosophy of peaceful warrior.

http://www.hidyochiai.org/

 

[T-Bone]

Check this demonstration out where he cuts an apple with a sword off a volunteers neck....While blindfolded.

 

[youngandfree]

My grandson is 6 and has been in karate for over a year. He's a small guy and will probably stay that way based on his mom's size. This past summer, he went to summer camp and got picked on quite a bit by bigger kids. He had been out of karate for a few months, so we ponied up the money to put him back in it. We told him if they wouldn't stop after telling them just lay into them. Luckily for us, he was more worried about getting in trouble since it's a "hands off other kids" policy there.

The cool thing is the school he goes to, Champion Gina Thornton helps there and sees something in him compared to the other kids in his class and likes to help out with him. Since he has a twangy southern drawl, they call him Country.
Gina Thornton

I wouldn't hesitate about putting your kid in martial arts in the slightest.

 

[youngandfree]

My lady studies child psych and runs a school for children from 6 months old till they're ready for kindergarten and she told me that by that age majority of how a child acts out in ways is an extension of what he/she was taught through observation at their home life (ex. Parents fighting, siblings fighting, domestic violence.. In this instance) she says its sad because they can tell basically what goes on behind closed doors to some of these kids and their families, but can't do anything about it within reason..

I would definitely agree with this. When he was at summer camp this summer, there must have been kids with bad mouths and attitudes. All summer, he had a bad back talk issue going on, and had started using words he didn't get at home. Since he's been out of that group, his behavior has improved.

 

[Aleksandar37]

In addition to self defense and discipline, martial arts isn't a bad idea for the physical fitness attributes as well. I wish I had started in on that earlier in life.

 

[datsthat]

Thank you ALL for your replies and support.

I completely agree that a child's attitude is based on his/her/it's upbringing and environment and a glimpse of how they'd be when they grow up.

ALL of the kids that I grew up with that tortured others (animals and humans) have either been in jail or is still in prison and/or struggled and struggling with addiction. These kids were from broken homes.