Relationship advice after ruining it post cycle

[FitnessLuke]

So I had this girl locked down. Like she did anything and everything for me even when I was messing up. I didnt really treat her right in the beginning bc I left a girl to talk to her instead and in that process I went back to the girl I left for her. She saw some text between us that were bad, but we got past all that eventually and finally made things official.

Well idk I was coming off of pct and she was wanting to argue about trust issues and stuff, im in my pct and on clomid, so emotions are unstable. Well I ended up just breaking up with her. Few days later I apologized and actually came clean about steroid usage and how it effected me mentally. She kinda understood, but wasnt down to get back together right away. She said we should wait until christmas break is over.

How should I play this situation? She's definitely backed off a lot and used to be a really good fast texter. Now shes late at responding and just seems way different. Should I pull back altogether? I already told her it was my mistake and I would just focus on me and not see other girls. Does that make me look weak?

Oh last thing...we had sex the oher day for the first time since the break up. She said she loved me after...
Didnt know how to react so I just said it. Im just confused how she said that, but doesnt want to date.

 

[puccah8808]

So I had this girl locked down. Like she did anything and everything for me even when I was messing up. I didnt really treat her right in the beginning bc I left a girl to talk to her instead and in that process I went back to the girl I left for her. She saw some text between us that were bad, but we got past all that eventually and finally made things official.

Well idk I was coming off of pct and she was wanting to argue about trust issues and stuff, im in my pct and on clomid, so emotions are unstable. Well I ended up just breaking up with her. Few days later I apologized and actually came clean about steroid usage and how it effected me mentally. She kinda understood, but wasnt down to get back together right away. She said we should wait until christmas break is over.

How should I play this situation? She's definitely backed off a lot and used to be a really good fast texter. Now shes late at responding and just seems way different. Should I pull back altogether? I already told her it was my mistake and I would just focus on me and not see other girls. Does that make me look weak?

Oh last thing...we had sex the oher day for the first time since the break up. She said she loved me after...
Didnt know how to react so I just said it. Im just confused how she said that, but doesnt want to date.

Give her space. She'll either come around or leave for good.

 

[puccah8808]

Maybe I've been single for too long but I don't understand how some people don't know how to be single....

 

[FitnessLuke]

I mean im totally cool with being single since im in college, but I just really like this girl and dont wanna see her go.

 

[puccah8808]

I mean im totally cool with being single since im in college, but I just really like this girl and dont wanna see her go.

I'm going to be honest..

You shouldn't have fcuked it up then. But still give her some space. Let her come to you. She's just upset right now. It'll show her that you respect her and you're trying.

 

[SFreed]

So you were with a different girl who you dumped for this girl, then left this girl to go back with the other girl for a while, then when back with this girl. Who now thinks you have commitment issues (wonder where she got that idea?) and doesn't trust you. Advise from an old guy, stop being a D-bag and grow up. Or accept that you're D-bag and continue on your way through life until you're old and lonely, then wonder why you can't keep a woman for any length of time.

 

[FitnessLuke]

Alright I agree I was being a dbag and now im done with that. I mean I was just playing the field bc im in college and idk I'm just paranoid of getting serious with the wrong person.

 

[FitnessLuke]

If I grow up and show I actually care would you say the situation is fixable

 

[SFreed]

Do you want my honest opinion?

 

[123abcabcabc]

Don't waste your time OP. Move on. Trying to fix things will only stress yourself out.

 

[FitnessLuke]

Sfreed whats that man?

And 123abcab you're probably right. Its already been a stressful couple weeks because of it.

 

[123abcabcabc]

Sfreed whats that man?

And 123abcab you're probably right. Its already been a stressful couple weeks because of it.

Girls have a quiet way of dismissing guys lol. If your ex isn't the one to initiate contact with you, I wouldn't even bother.

 

[FitnessLuke]

Well she still does and even today when I backed off and was short...she got a lot more involved with the convo

 

[123abcabcabc]

Well she still does and even today when I backed off and was short...she got a lot more involved with the convo

Don't text her for two days. See if she hits you up.

 

[SFreed]

One thing I've noticed at my advanced age, is that young women seem to be a lot more forgiving of guys being dicks than they were when I was a young man. She'll come back around, especially if you don't pursue her (as you noticed when you backed off), but I don't know why. However, once you have her back, how long will it be until you notice someone else, and start thinking that THIS is the right one? So maybe you should follow 123's advice and just move on. But at some point, you're going to have to take a long look at yourself, and quit blaming other things on your bad luck.

Advice from my 31 years of being married. I don't know **** about bodybuilding, or how to bang dozens of different girls, but I know a little something about making a relationship work.

 

[123abcabcabc]

One thing I've noticed at my advanced age, is that young women seem to be a lot more forgiving of guys being dicks than they were when I was a young man. She'll come back around, especially if you don't pursue her (as you noticed when you backed off), but I don't know why. However, once you have her back, how long will it be until you notice someone else, and start thinking that THIS is the right one? So maybe you should follow 123's advice and just move on. But at some point, you're going to have to take a long look at yourself, and quit blaming other things on your bad luck.

Advice from my 31 years of being married. I don't know **** about bodybuilding, or how to bang dozens of different girls, but I know a little something about making a relationship work.

I couldn't imagine being in such a long-term committment with someone... Props to you though. That definitely takes some patience.

 

[BlockBuilder]

Alright I agree I was being a dbag and now im done with that. I mean I was just playing the field bc im in college and idk I'm just paranoid of getting serious with the wrong person.

If you grow up and make changes you still have a chance. But you're in college don't stress so much. Have fun love life

 

[youngandfree]

I couldn't imagine being in such a long-term committment with someone... Props to you though. That definitely takes some patience.

Why not? Apparently the OP couldn't imagine it either, which is the root of his problem.

 

[123abcabcabc]

Why not? Apparently the OP couldn't imagine it either, which is the root of his problem.

I'm assuming OP is uncertain and doubting his own judgement, which is why he came looking for advice...

And to answer your question, my preference in not making commitments goes deeper than just trust issues.

 

[B5150]

So I had this girl locked down. Like she did anything and everything for me even when I was messing up. I didnt really treat her right in the beginning bc I left a girl to talk to her instead and in that process I went back to the girl I left for her. She saw some text between us that were bad, but we got past all that eventually and finally made things official.

Well idk I was coming off of pct and she was wanting to argue about trust issues and stuff, im in my pct and on clomid, so emotions are unstable. Well I ended up just breaking up with her. Few days later I apologized and actually came clean about steroid usage and how it effected me mentally. She kinda understood, but wasnt down to get back together right away. She said we should wait until christmas break is over.

How should I play this situation? She's definitely backed off a lot and used to be a really good fast texter. Now shes late at responding and just seems way different. Should I pull back altogether? I already told her it was my mistake and I would just focus on me and not see other girls. Does that make me look weak?

Oh last thing...we had sex the oher day for the first time since the break up. She said she loved me after...
Didnt know how to react so I just said it. Im just confused how she said that, but doesnt want to date.

everything about this sounds like the post of a 16yo girl. Sorry but it does.

 

[FitnessLuke]

Haha yeah I know this is a lame post. In my defense im blaming the clomid for the emotional post haha

 

[Canambrah]

She's also likely running thoughts through her head about the steroids. Unless she's dated a user before, she's going to be apprehensive. Btw, you know she has told at least one bff, and probably several by now. So she's getting opinions on that from different people, better get used to the fact you've been outed.

Give her space, I'd leave the next move up to her, you f'd up, so let her decide if she wants to continue.
And you just saved several hundred dollars in Christmas gifts, so there's that.

 

[FitnessLuke]

Yeah her friends have told her im an ass, so thats not good obviously. I really dont know how she is with the roids. When I told her, she was like well I found one of your needles when I was cleaning your room, so she had already known. I guess she was scared to bring it up.

So yeah general consensus is give her space?

 

[123abcabcabc]

Yeah her friends have told her im an ass, so thats not good obviously. I really dont know how she is with the roids. When I told her, she was like well I found one of your needles when I was cleaning your room, so she had already known. I guess she was scared to bring it up.

So yeah general consensus is give her space?

Why did you incriminate yourself? Not only that but your "secret" is probably out by now. People in her circle are going to think your shady.

 

[FitnessLuke]

Should I ask her how she feels about the roids. I incriminated myself bc that was the reason my emotions were all over the place...coming off the roids

Man why does roids gotta make you shady

 

[123abcabcabc]

Should I ask her how she feels about the roids. I incriminated myself bc that was the reason my emotions were all over the place...coming off the roids

Man why does roids gotta make you shady

To me gear isn't shady at all. But other people perceive roids as some "dangerous drug that causes rage".

 

[FitnessLuke]

I hate the media for giving them that wrap. Like I never raged on my gf or had any roid rage issues. Got some mental effects forsure, but definitely not like the media portrays it.

Well I made it clear to her I wouldnt juice anymore..idk if I should reiterate that.

 

[youngandfree]

I hate the media for giving them that wrap. Like I never raged on my gf or had any roid rage issues. Got some mental effects forsure, but definitely not like the media portrays it.

Well I made it clear to her I wouldnt juice anymore..idk if I should reiterate that.

For some reason I doubt that would last. Just walk away. Some girls don't actually want to have an ass for a boyfriend, and have some self respect.

 

[SFreed]

I don't know why I keep coming back to this thread. It's like a car wreck that I'm unable to just drive by without looking. Anyhoo, if you put as much effort into your relationship with this girl as you do you workouts, you couldn't make her leave you. You'd be a freakin King in her eyes. But you don't, which is totally your right. We all know that you're the one who screwed this thing up (twice now, if I'm reading this right), and yet you can't just walk away. It's like you only want her when she doesn't want you. Again, totally your call. Like I said before, if you want to be a douche, be a douche. At least you'll gain some respect for not changing who you are.

 

[FitnessLuke]

See I'm really not a dbag. Maybe the roids made more of one than I was. Like thats just an excuse, but being on the roids gave me that teenage dbag mentality.

Definitely leveled off...and now im looking back at all my wreckless mistakes. I dont want to be a dbag though..

 

[BlockBuilder]

She's also likely running thoughts through her head about the steroids. Unless she's dated a user before, she's going to be apprehensive. Btw, you know she has told at least one bff, and probably several by now. So she's getting opinions on that from different people, better get used to the fact you've been outed.

Give her space, I'd leave the next move up to her, you f'd up, so let her decide if she wants to continue.
And you just saved several hundred dollars in Christmas gifts, so there's that.

Dude yea then you get labeled as the guy on roids....meanwhile she most likely has other friends who are on roids but has no clue and have no problem with them

 

[BlockBuilder]

To me gear isn't shady at all. But other people perceive roids as some "dangerous drug that causes rage".

To about 90 percent of the population the steroid user is looked at as pathetic

 

[SFreed]

To about 90 percent of the population the steroid user is looked at as pathetic

Sounds a little harsh. And 90% sounds awfully high to me. Do you have a problem with someone who uses steroids?

 

[BlockBuilder]

Sounds a little harsh. And 90% sounds awfully high to me. Do you have a problem with someone who uses steroids?

Nope just reiterating how the public sees steroid users. If you don't like it that's not my problem lol. I do have a problem with people who claim natural when they aren't though. That does bug me. People who lie and deceive the public to sell ****ty products

 

[FitnessLuke]

I agree with 90% of the public thinking roids are like on the same level as meth. It's seriously annoying. Also really annoying when people think you dont have to bust your ass when you're on gear. It sucks bc I trained natty for about 6 years and then got on roids, but now when I tell people I did roids they completely discredit how I looked when I was natty and just assume the roids completely made my physique. In reality people thought I was on roids even when I was natty, but then when I got on roids it was like stupid obvious.

 

[B5150]

So I had this girl locked down. Like she did anything and everything for me even when I was messing up. I didnt really treat her right in the beginning

When I told her, she was like well I found one of your needles when I was cleaning your room

So yeah general consensus is give her space?

Had this girl "locked down"? Seriously? Doesn't sound like a term of endearment and respect to me.

She's cleaning your room? Seriously? Are you a child or her child?

Give her her space? I can't see her loosing sleep pining over you. You've already cheated and have been deceptive. What exactly is the up side for her being with you?

Let her be and she'll move on to bigger and better things for her life.

 

[Gutterpump]

There are bigger, more important things in life than AAS. If you get bad mental sides from cycling, then it's probably best to stop doing it. Not worth it.

 

[Mkgain1]

In my opinion man, if you really wanted this girl, and I mean wanted her in the sense you could see yourself marrying her and having your children, you wouldn't have treated her that way to begin with, the gear has no part to play in that imo. Since the moment I met my lady, I could be on a wicked cycle and snap at everybody then come home and see my girl and it goes away. If that's not the kind of situation you're in, to where you see the girl in your life, for life, walk away now and stop fcking with this girl that it seems you only want to occupy your time realistically. No sense in wasting both of your time

 

[FitnessLuke]

Had this girl "locked down"? Seriously? Doesn't sound like a term of endearment and respect to me.

She's cleaning your room? Seriously? Are you a child or her child?

Give her her space? I can't see her loosing sleep pining over you. You've already cheated and have been deceptive. What exactly is the up side for her being with you?

Let her be and she'll move on to bigger and better things for her life.

Come on man obviously I did stuff for her too. I never even told her to clean my room or do stuff. She completely offered on her own.

 

[FitnessLuke]

Well tbh it was complicated in the beginning bc I left one girl I was talking to for this girl. Wasnt dating the other girl, but we almost got there and thats why it was rocky in the beginning.

eh whatever, so looks like everyone is saying just forget it bc I was a dbag. Guess thats my plan of action.

And yes I dont think I'll be cycling anymore due to the depression sides I got.

 

[Mkgain1]

Had this girl "locked down"? Seriously? Doesn't sound like a term of endearment and respect to me.

She's cleaning your room? Seriously? Are you a child or her child?

Give her her space? I can't see her loosing sleep pining over you. You've already cheated and have been deceptive. What exactly is the up side for her being with you?

Let her be and she'll move on to bigger and better things for her life.

Sadly bro that's how a majority of girls are today.. With how much 'pressure' the media puts on them as making them feel imperfect, they suck it up and deal with guys that won't treat them how they deserve as if they feel lucky that anyone would even want to spend time with them

 

[Gutterpump]

Well tbh it was complicated in the beginning bc I left one girl I was talking to for this girl. Wasnt dating the other girl, but we almost got there and thats why it was rocky in the beginning.

eh whatever, so looks like everyone is saying just forget it bc I was a dbag. Guess thats my plan of action.

And yes I dont think I'll be cycling anymore due to the depression sides I got.

Well, it's pretty normal to be 'talking' with more than one person. You're allowed to have friends, and you're allowed to date. You stopped that when you became serious with her, so this should not have been an issue. If it upset her that you were 'talking with someone' before you got serious with her, she might be a bit insecure.

 

[FitnessLuke]

Sadly bro that's how a majority of girls are today.. With how much 'pressure' the media puts on them as making them feel imperfect, they suck it up and deal with guys that won't treat them how they deserve as if they feel lucky that anyone would even want to spend time with them

Im pretty sure this was more prevalent in back in the day. Women used to be treated like absolute crap and were expected to be happy about it..

Anyways

 

[FitnessLuke]

Well, it's pretty normal to be 'talking' with more than one person. You're allowed to have friends, and you're allowed to date. You stopped that when you became serious with her, so this should not have been an issue. If it upset her that you were 'talking with someone' before you got serious with her, she might be a bit insecure.

Yes I think she does have some insecurities bc this was a big issue. I even explain how I was still trying to decide what I wanted through that process.

 

[Gutterpump]

Yes I think she does have some insecurities bc this was a big issue. I even explain how I was still trying to decide what I wanted through that process.

Trust me, I've been through the same thing, and you very well may have dodged a bullet. Jealousy is a mfk'er.

 

[B5150]

Trust me, I've been through the same thing, and you very well may have dodged a bullet. Jealousy is a mfk'er.

everyone had insecurities. When someone mistreats you from the get-go, engages in secrete communications with another female, secretly uses illegal steroids, and acts like s douchebag because they're hormonal it is only natural for anyone to have insecurities about that other persons behaviors and trustworthiness. This girl did nothing. He did. Let's not blame-shift the issue on the girl and her jealousy.

 

[Gutterpump]

everyone had insecurities. When someone mistreats you from the get-go, engages in secrete communications with another female, secretly uses illegal steroids, and acts like s douchebag because they're hormonal it is only natural for anyone to have insecurities about that other persons behaviors and trustworthiness. This girl did nothing. He did. Let's not blame-shift the issue on the girl and her jealousy.

Not shifting at all. Just saying it's likely for the best that it's ended, for everyone. And any girl who has issues that a guy may have been casually dating when they met, has major issues as well.