wife life problems

[mdabbott2009]

So me and her have been married almost a year but we've been together for almost 10 years. We started dating when we were 14-15
Well 2 weeks ago she wrote me letter saying she's fell out of love with me but ahe still loves me ok. The last 2 years I've become a negative person I have bad luck so bad things always happens to me. Put me in a mad mood. So I said ok I will change. So last 2 weeks have been great. Sex a lot everything I did was to make her smile and laugh like we used to. Well last night I came home she was in the shower and her phone vibartes so I look at it. Well bad idea anyways.

We talked and I moved out. This morning i forgot stuff so I went to go gwt it well I have her ring to her and asked for her to wear it and hopes she would remember the good times. I asked maybe if we could go on a date. To show her I do love her. And she does need me. Well she tells me that she fells like her youth is over and she missed the chance to live the collage life and she wants to just have space right now. So I said ok I understand.
She said she does love me but doesn't LOVE ME she wants to miss me and wants to be with me but doesn't know what she really wants to be the happiest.

What's my chances to stay together?

I know its slim but duck its hard she's always been by my side no matter what and I don't want to loose her

 

[puccah8808]

I know it's difficult. Sometimes when we've been with someone for a long time, we don't know how to live without them.

The best advice I can give you is... Give her time but continue to live and work on yourself. Maybe you two will come back stronger or maybe you'll be better off alone.

She needs to work on herself as well, because you can't depend on others to make you the "happiest".

 

[money0351]

I know this isn't what you want to hear but it's pretty hard to make a relationship work when only one person is in it and truly wants it...

It's probably best that you found out about what you did as soon as possible because infidelity is not a one time thing in relationships

My advice, use this time to work on you! Work on you "bad attitude" and "bad luck" and become a happier person

If later on, she sees how life without you is not what she had hoped it would be, you'll be in a better place and then you can make the decision to take her back or not....

 

[cubsfan815]

Bye Felicia.

That's what you tell her. The grass ain't always greener.

 

[NurseGray]

Well I disagree it sounds to me like this "bad attitude" are her words not yours. When I was in nursing school I had just got married. I kept telling people my wife was great and she didn't have any desire to "live the college life" we put God before anything else. Numerous girls told me just WAIT she will grow up and want to go party. The truth is that is just a window into their own heart. You will not change this woman. If she isn't in your life path walk your own and maybe she will follow. If you don't have kids yet I would say you are far too young to waste your life on someone like that. Plus it sounds like she doesn't even lift lol

 

[money0351]

Well I disagree it sounds to me like this "bad attitude" are her words not yours. When I was in nursing school I had just got married. I kept telling people my wife was great and she didn't have any desire to "live the college life" we put God before anything else. Numerous girls told me just WAIT she will grow up and want to go party. The truth is that is just a window into their own heart. You will not change this woman. If she isn't in your life path walk your own and maybe she will follow. If you don't have kids yet I would say you are far too young to waste your life on someone like that. Plus it sounds like she doesn't even lift lol

I absolutely agree putting God at the center of your marriage! My wife and I have also been married for 4 years and early on we we're in love but it began to turn into a fruitless marriage...

We then recently started attending church, couples group, and I do a men's study and, honestly, our marriage has never been better. One of the main things I have learned was if "You can change your direction, God will change your affection"

Now, we are not bible thumping people (I'm a Marine, she's and she's in the Army) but putting God at the center of our marriage has been the best decisions of our lives... It also helps that she lifts

 

[mdabbott2009]

I know I should just go my way and hope she follows but damn it's so hard to.

Oh and she lifts she's ****ing jacked and that's something I love about her is she takes care of herself. She's has 6 pack the perfect ass . To any other man she's the perfect girls and to me she's more then the perfect girl. We use to go to partys and so on but I like to leave early. The problem with going out and getting drunk is after my dad got cancer is I get drunk and fall apart so I try not and drink.

I'm like a oyster hard as hell on the out side mother ****ers to get open and when I do I'm a hot mess

I know better I've always been the one to tell others advice and I always went to my dad foe my advice ans now he's gone it pretty hard

 

[youngandfree]

It sucks when someone is so selfish in a marriage that after being together that long, decides they want to regain the party college life they missed. So she wants to go an whore around, is that what she means? It sucks when a person in a marriage is so selfish that it's always about what they want to do. That means they never really payed attention To what those vows meant. At most weddings, they read a Psalm that talks about what love is. Love is kind. Love is patient. Love doesn't keep score. The idea is to actually do that, not just have it read to make the wedding seem nicer. If she's cheating, which it sounds like she is, start signing papers. She wants her cake and eat it to. She wants to go party and get drunk and screw random guys, but she wants you to stick around. Get the ring back, start living in the reality that she is creating.

It sucks. My brother had the same thing happen to him. Wife always liked going on trips, so he busted his ass working so he could provide them. Then she complained he was always working, and cheated on him, with a dude that was also married. They got video of the dude showing up at his house when he said he was going to be late. Adios bitch.

Wake up and smell the roses. Don't obscure the reality of your situation with the hope and memories of the past. It sucks man.

 

[youngandfree]

I know I should just go my way and hope she follows but damn it's so hard to.

Oh and she lifts she's ****ing jacked and that's something I love about her is she takes care of herself. She's has 6 pack the perfect ass . To any other man she's the perfect girls and to me she's more then the perfect girl. We use to go to partys and so on but I like to leave early. The problem with going out and getting drunk is after my dad got cancer is I get drunk and fall apart so I try not and drink.

I'm like a oyster hard as hell on the out side mother ****ers to get open and when I do I'm a hot mess

I know better I've always been the one to tell others advice and I always went to my dad foe my advice ans now he's gone it pretty hard

Dude, I feel you about your dad. I just buried mine yesterday after a sudden blood clot went to his lungs. Don't ever feel bad about not wanting to be around people that you feel will make you drink or make bad choices. It's never a good idea to do that, and I applaud you for having enough self respect and control to recognize that and say we need to leave before people get stupid. I don't drink anymore either.

Years ago I dated a girl after high school and I thought she was the one. After a couple years she broke up with me. But she wanted to stay friends, and I was in your shoes. I didn't want her to go. She started dating an *******, and she would tell me about stuff, and I could never figure out why she dumped me when I never treated her that way. We talked and hung out some, with me ALWAYS thinking we would get back together. That guy went away and she said she was dating a guy in the army. She lived 45 minutes away up at Virginia Tech, and one night I decided to make a last ditch effort. She proceeded to tell me she was moving and getting married to the army guy. I was there too long and got my truck towed. So it cost me $200 to get my heart broken one more time when my head said I should have never gone.

She got married and would come to visit her family. We stayed in touch but I knew it was done. I even met her husband who seems cool. We even talked occasionally after me and my now wife were dating for a couple years. Nothing going on, but my current girl always got upset, and I realized the ex lives in Colorado and it's pointless to keep it up if I'm hurting my current relationship.

Well I married that girl and have been married 10 years. We decided when people said you have changed, we did. We stopped being selfish and stopped making the relationship about me, and made it about the other one.

I don't know if this helps, but I felt like I was in the same boat as you at one point. I would cut bait and sign the papers. She may want to come back one day, but I don't know if I would take her.

 

[mdabbott2009]

Thanks guys your helping out
What's the girls of am think of this ****ty situation

 

[mdabbott2009]

Thanks guys your helping out
What's the girls of am think of this ****ty situation

 

[mdabbott2009]

What the girls of am think

 

[puccah8808]

I already wrote what I thought.

 

[puccah8808]

You know what's worse than losing someone?

-Losing yourself while trying to hold on to someone who doesn't want to stay...

 

[mdabbott2009]

Some hoe I skipped your puccah thank you thou for the response

 

[Chevy]

You know what's worse than losing someone?

-Losing yourself while trying to hold on to someone who doesn't want to stay...

This ^^
The best thing for both of you is that you stay positive & keep doing the things you enjoy. You need also be careful that you don't become a crutch she can turn to on a whim when she feeling dissatisfied.

 

[Aleksandar37]

I know this isn't what you want to hear but it's pretty hard to make a relationship work when only one person is in it and truly wants it...

Completely agree with this. I speak from experience that it drains you and may cost you friends and family trying to make it work with one person who doesn't appreciate you and doesn't try themselves. There's not an easy or correct answer to this, but take care of yourself and you will eventually be alright.

 

[mdabbott2009]

We are going to stay apart for a week and then talk thanj u guys very much

 

[Aleksandar37]

Good luck man! We're here for support if you need to talk it out.