Women and relationships

[CJ_Xfit89]

AM family

I really like this girl I'm dating. I feel she has that shield up. I told her that I know she has one and she said to not think to much into it.

She gives me little hints like "my friends say I've got a great catch" or I'm a pretty lucky girl but not much more than that.

How do I get her to open up, help her let down her guard and let me in?

We stay at each others place every night. It's been 3 months.

I want to know how you guys get that girl you like to "WANT YOU" like you want them.

 

[RegisterJr]

You can't make her feel any which way. She'll have to get there on her own.

With my wife, it took the first couple years before she was 100% open.

Just keep doing what you're doing. She'll get there.

Or, not...

 

[goodvibes]

She's just not that into you

Seriously, either she likes you or she dnt. Kinda simple. Dnt work too hard to get it. That's probably just me though.

 

[AntM1564]

Sounds like she has had a serious relationship in the past that ended very poorly. Just give it time. I'm the same way due to personal things. It may not have even been a relationship with a boyfriend that made her that way. Maybe family issues.

 

[Athletix]

Don't push, and don't look too far into it or you'll overthink it and likely make your self crazy

 

[3clipseGT]

Definitely dont push. As hard as it may seem just go with the flow. If she truly knows what she has itll just take a little time.

 

[Spaniard]

Don't worry about it, or at least act like you don't. The more you push it, believe it or not it'll push her away big dog.

Just be brotha, be the dope cat that you are and everything else will fall into place. It sounds odd but the more you pry and prod the more she'll resist. If you act like it can't phase you so to speak, she'll want to open up to you. It sounds like you guys are moving in the right direction by seeing each other a lot, let that be enough for now. Plus, finding **** out about someone is part of the fun let it come slowly

 

[CJ_Xfit89]

Would it be plausible to play a bit of hard to get?
make it more of a challenge for her to get my attention?

 

[LiveToLift]

AM family I really like this girl I'm dating. I feel she has that shield up. I told her that I know she has one and she said to not think to much into it. She gives me little hints like "my friends say I've got a great catch" or I'm a pretty lucky girl but not much more than that. How do I get her to open up, help her let down her guard and let me in? We stay at each others place every night. It's been 3 months. I want to know how you guys get that girl you like to "WANT YOU" like you want them.

Get the bib on and go to town!
Bro it sounds like you have it pretty much tied down from what you've given us. You are a pretty damn cool cat so just stick with the approach you have been taking just maybe kick it up a notch. Hope it all works out for you dude!

 

[CJ_Xfit89]

Get the bib on and go to town!
Bro it sounds like you have it pretty much tied down from what you've given us. You are a pretty damn cool cat so just stick with the approach you have been taking just maybe kick it up a notch. Hope it all works out for you dude!

Thanks Jeff. you all have been very helpful.

I'm gonna play a little tough love and ensure that I keep it uncomplicated. Anything else please add and chime in.

 

[mountainman33]

Would it be plausible to play a bit of hard to get?
make it more of a challenge for her to get my attention?

Don't do that. That would just make it harder in my opinion to get her to open up, not easier. My girlfriend came from a couple of relationships where she was treated pretty badly which created guards and walls. If you're still hanging out after 3 months you're on the right track. But what's her history? Does she have a rough past with guys? If so you need to stay consistant with your sincerety and let her come around.

 

[CJ_Xfit89]

She saw a guy on and off for 3 yrs... how serious I don't wanna know but he was 38 and she was 20 at the time. just found this out so I'm not sure what I wanna do. kinda weirded me out

 

[LiveToLift]

She saw a guy on and off for 3 yrs... how serious I don't wanna know but he was 38 and she was 20 at the time. just found this out so I'm not sure what I wanna do. kinda weirded me out

I can see how that would worry you a bit. Unfortunately you start to wonder if there was daddy issues or something. Don't let it sway you if you truly feel for this girl though bro. Let it play out how it will and follow your feelings and gut.

 

[CJ_Xfit89]

She dated a 38 yr old on and off for 3 yrs. she was 20 at the time so going back 5 yrs ago.

wtf do i do?

 

[mountainman33]

She dated a 38 yr old on and off for 3 yrs. she was 20 at the time so going back 5 yrs ago.

wtf do i do?

From personal experience girls at that age dating older men is a thrill thing. I've seen it a lot. As she gets older she grow out of that if she hasn't already. Stay the course. One thing that helped me with my girlfriend was opening up to her, A LOT. It showed her I'm in it for her, and she can trust opening up to me as well. Share with her constantly, she'll come around.

 

[RegisterJr]

wtf do i do?

Be yourself.

That's all.

 

[rugger48]

No games, stop over thinking it, your fine.


3 months and your staying at each other's place every night your almost moving to fast.

 

[chedapalooza]

...women.

 

[iddc]

...women.

.............women.

 

[huxley309]

.............women.

A Riddle Wrapped in a Mystery Inside an Enigma

 

[CJ_Xfit89]

We will never understand them

 

[LiveToLift]

We will never understand them

I do not believe in this statement as long as you find the one you were meant for. I was in a few failed relationships when I was younger but when I met and fell in love with my wife there was nothing to not understand. We knew from that first talk that we had been meant for each other. I now fully believe in love at first sight and soul mates. If this is meant to be brother you will have no doubts or question.

 

[LiveToLift]

Sorry if the previous sounds sappy but it's the truth and I feel sorry for all the men running around out there hating their lives and despising their wives.

 

[chedapalooza]

Sorry if he previous sounds sappy but it's the truth and I feel sorry for all the men running around out there hating their lives and despising their wives.

F you ltl

Jk

 

[Spaniard]

We will never understand them

There is no truer statement in the world than this

 

[B5150]

Often times we are looking for someone (the opposite sex) to open up when in reality they have but there isn't much of substance. Not all people (male or female) are "deep" in the aspects of intellectual or emotional substance. Its not bad or good but it just is sometime.

I would caution you that if this is an issue for you now it will always be. We are not all made up the same and expecting something from someone that doesn't have it to give will lead to great disappointment regardless of how much you invest in them.

A 20 yo female with a 38 yo male screams intellectual and emotional issues IMHO

 

[chedapalooza]

Often times we are looking for someone (the opposite sex) to open up when in reality they have but there isn't much of substance. Not all people (male or female) are "deep" in the aspects of intellectual or emotional substance. Its not bad or good but it just is sometime.

I would caution you that if this is an issue for you now it will always be. We are not all made up the same and expecting something from someone that doesn't have it to give will lead to great disappointment regardless of how much you invest in them.

A 20 yo female with a 38 yo male screams intellectual and emotional issues IMHO

Solid post

 

[divo006]

Don't pry into her. Let her come to you. You are the catch, you are the prize, once she feels she can trust you she will tell you things you want to know. Try opening up to her about small personal things and find a connection with her. Good luck

 

[Spaniard]

Often times we are looking for someone (the opposite sex) to open up when in reality they have but there isn't much of substance. Not all people (male or female) are "deep" in the aspects of intellectual or emotional substance. Its not bad or good but it just is sometime.

I would caution you that if this is an issue for you now it will always be. We are not all made up the same and expecting something from someone that doesn't have it to give will lead to great disappointment regardless of how much you invest in them.

A 20 yo female with a 38 yo male screams intellectual and emotional issues IMHO

Well said Mr Dunn

 

[LiveToLift]

Often times we are looking for someone (the opposite sex) to open up when in reality they have but there isn't much of substance. Not all people (male or female) are "deep" in the aspects of intellectual or emotional substance. Its not bad or good but it just is sometime. I would caution you that if this is an issue for you now it will always be. We are not all made up the same and expecting something from someone that doesn't have it to give will lead to great disappointment regardless of how much you invest in them. A 20 yo female with a 38 yo male screams intellectual and emotional issues IMHO

big kudos on this post mr. Dunn.

 

[CJ_Xfit89]

Sorry if he previous sounds sappy but it's the truth and I feel sorry for all the men running around out there hating their lives and despising their wives.

happy you found her Jeff. my last one I just got bored. fell out of love

 

[CJ_Xfit89]

solid David.

I'm just not wanting to be the one that always gives in though.

I believe in a treat em mean keep em keen type with no disrespect intended.

I told her I wasn't at her beg and call and she kinda woke up a bit. surprised to say the least.

hmmm. 38 yr old. It bugs me a little

 

[Spaniard]

solid David.

I'm just not wanting to be the one that always gives in though.

I believe in a treat em mean keep em keen type with no disrespect intended.

I told her I wasn't at her beg and call and she kinda woke up a bit. surprised to say the least.

hmmm. 38 yr old. It bugs me a little

The age thing could be looked at as a negative but while what David said made a lot of sense it doesn't mean that she 100% has issues. She may but it's not certain. Some younger women date older guys for the fact that older men may be more into the lifestyle they are.

Most dudes at her age at that time may have been all about getting wasted and partying while she wanted to simply go out to dinner, go home for a movie and go to bed at 10 lol. My point is that you simply can't make judgments on a person based on one choice she made in her life. If you start to realize patterns, at that point I'd tread lightly. It may be a warning sign, so don't dismiss it.

Again dude, remember it's only been 3 months she legitimately doesn't have to tell you if she chooses not to. If she wants to keep some things to yourself just don't let it get to you, say **** it (in your head) and ask her a non personal question like what her favorite flavor of kool-aid is.

To be honest, I wouldn't talk about her exes at all for two reasons. First, it comes off as slightly insecure. If you're secure in all you do and who you are, which you should be, her exes hold zero meaning to the person you are and the relationship you're forming with this chick. Second, **** like that is toxic. Once you find out something you'll want to know more, it's a snowball effect and once you finally think you've found out enough, it may very well be that you've found out too much.

Focus on today and don't worry about her opening up to you. Also, no matter what, you met this chick for a reason and everyone involved in your life holds meaning it may be for a short time or a long time. Either way it's worth it and helps develop and form you into whom you're meant to become.

Ultimately, I'd pay attention to the present and prepare for the future. Don't worry about if she doesn't want to open up, you're the bad ass you are either way. Maybe she just doesn't like to open up emotionally, oh well. Do some other cool **** that's fun to do with her.

 

[CJ_Xfit89]

Well the more I open up just talking... and... find out she has polisystic ovaries. hmmm.

well... guess I better get my affairs in order and start trying for kids. could take a while...

but I guess she is starting to since I made this thread. lots of help though guys!

Next one... can you psychologically trick a girl into becoming obsessed with you but not in the weird stalker way?

 

[chedapalooza]

Well the more I open up just talking... and... find out she has polisystic ovaries. hmmm.

well... guess I better get my affairs in order and start trying for kids. could take a while...

but I guess she is starting to since I made this thread. lots of help though guys!

Next one... can you psychologically trick a girl into becoming obsessed with you but not in the weird stalker way?

Sure, just give them 100% attention one day and 10% the next. They're yours forever.

 

[LiveToLift]

happy you found her Jeff. my last one I just got bored. fell out of love

That stinks man. Was that runners girl or whatever from here?

 

[LiveToLift]

Well the more I open up just talking... and... find out she has polisystic ovaries. hmmm. well... guess I better get my affairs in order and start trying for kids. could take a while... but I guess she is starting to since I made this thread. lots of help though guys! Next one... can you psychologically trick a girl into becoming obsessed with you but not in the weird stalker way?

I'm not sure trick is the right word but I think swaying a women into a level of "obsession" is entirely possible. Just do little things that make her feel as if she is much better around or with you. Make her feel special. Romance her up a bit and maybe you will see a turnaround.

 

[Piston Honda]

Everyone says relationships need a lot of "work." Bullspit. If you have to work to make things work out, then move on. My wife and I argue about nothing and it's been easy living with each other for years now. We've never raised our voices or carried grudges.

You can't force someone to be "the right one." They either are or aren't.

 

[LiveToLift]

Everyone says relationships need a lot of "work." Bullspit. If you have to work to make things work out, then move on. My wife and I argue about nothing and it's been easy living with each other for years now. We've never raised our voices or carried grudges. You can't force someone to be "the right one." They either are or aren't.

I share this thought process mainly. I definitely enjoy hearing people's opinions but you bring a great point up by saying you are unable to force or mold someone into the "right one".

 

[CJ_Xfit89]

That stinks man. Was that runners girl or whatever from here?

Yeah man.

 

[Gainaddict]

Like a lot of guys said on here you should worry more about being you and showing her you appreciate her and don't pry and force anything out of her. If it's meant to be its meant to be, if not just appreciate her for being a great woman and move on as friends (if "just fiends" is even possible).
Remember the only people who fully understand women are other women and they can't stand one another.

 

[CJ_Xfit89]

Should I wait for her to text me when she goes away for a girls weekend? I know she won't cheat on me for a fact.

advice? I'm tired of chasing.

 

[CJ_Xfit89]

and how do you ask them to start to help chip in once in a while with a bill for dinner or a night out?

 

[B5150]

and how do you ask them to start to help chip in once in a while with a bill for dinner or a night out?

You don't.

 

[RegisterJr]

Don't expect a text. It's a GIRLS WEEKEND. You can talk to her after...

Am like David said, you don't.

 

[CJ_Xfit89]

You don't.

Well then what do you do?

 

[RegisterJr]

Well then what do you do?

Pay for meals.

 

[CJ_Xfit89]

I do that. that's what I mean. it would be nice if she did it once in a while.

 

[RegisterJr]

I do that. that's what I mean. it would be nice if she did it once in a while.

Well, I was raised and always believed until you share financial responsibilities that the male pays for dates. Unless it's a birthday or something.

Maybe times have changed...

 

[frankz2]

I do that. that's what I mean. it would be nice if she did it once in a while.

Unless she is the type to offer/demand on her own, it isn't likely to go over well if you choose to ask for a little help.