A normal life? What is it really?

[Bean]

Sometimes I question the sanity of my life, guys. Over the past week I've had the enjoyable company of the girl of my dreams. You know that girl you dream about?

Imagine having that girl being so beautiful; more beautiful that your self-esteem would allow to be even "somewhat" logical to have as your own, her awareness, and her company so warm and caring..... Intelligence and kindness beyond your assumptions that you allow for normal human females......

I've been dating THAT girl for 2 weeks, with promises of plenty more. Seeing and hearing all the signs that she will not be super serious but "somewhat" serious. I can't say I've fallen for her, but I've never been with anything even remotely like her.... And I have incredibly high standards. Over the past two nights I've had evidence of different thoughts on "seriousness" from my mind and hers. Then imagine after a bit of drinking, that she admits that she doesnt want a "boyfriend"at all because she's in love with somene still in her hometown 1000 miles away. It all hit me at once over two nights (if that makes any sense). Of course the BIG one hit me tonight telling me she doesnt want a boyfriend at all. She's not interested in anyone else at the moment, but that still doesnt make me feel any better compared to her ex-bf that she's "still" in love with. (after 1.5 years) Admittance she refrains from, but I know the truth. Heartache like this only breeds more hate, more killer instinct in the gym. I feel so used. I'm so angry.

I feel that I've been had. All the preaching, all the talk that I make about trusting someone too much and I fall into the same FUCKING TRITE category that I labeled so many others under. I am such a creature of my own creation.

Oh she still wants to "be the same way as it was" but she keeps having headaches or not feeling well (only over two nights)...... but still I just don't find any comfort in that AT ALL. I'll probably fall under the same false pretense, but I'll be destroyed again with lies lies lies...

Tonight, while I was talking to her friends, she hit me with that bomb. That she didnt want to be that "serious". Which I didnt even call "serious". Dating eclusively, but not super serious.... Anyone understand that? I did.... She didnt... she exclaims that she doesnt have anyone else that she's interested in....

I'm under extreme pain and I want to just explode. I'm not even logical right now I don't think. I had this feeling a few days ago and it came to a head and hit me with its full brunt tonight. From now on I'm trusting my gut instinct. It has always been right, though my heart has never trusted it.

I always try to give advice to others about their relationships and help them. But my own are so FUCKED UP. I just don't care anymore. I hurt so bad. Its hard to explain such a hit to my ego, even the little bit of ego that I still had.... My confidence is completely shot, I have nothing left. I've never ever ever been able to even have a normal relationship with a girl, something always has to be FUCKED UP BEYOND BELIEF....

Forgive my complete exposure of my soul. But I cant stand it anymore. I'm a magnetic attraction for klingons or "users"...
I just don't care anymore...... I just want to stop and take a rest for a couple centuries.

I quit. I fucking quit. Any girl, of my high standards, lets me down hardcore, some way or another. I've just gotta get my brain into the actual "believe none of what you hear and half of what you see" attitude. School is so important, and I'm going places that I just can't get my head into that game. I've got to completely seperate myself from that BS. What's the point of wasting my time with that half-assed ****?

 

[CEDeoudes59]

I hear you bro. I really do. I'm up tonight now because of M4ohn is messing my sleep up - so I am going to hit you with a few things to consider or reflect upon - in no particular order...
Take it or leave it.

* I know your not down with the 'friends' or 'not-serious' thing now, but if this is in fact the perfect girl - you are more than likily going to have to hit the 'friend-zone' first. These 'perfect girls' in the end marry their friends.

* If she is still thinking about her ex who is many miles away - that is why she isn't down for the 'serious' thing. She may have gotten screwed over and feels hurt. Just be her friend.

* I would never date someone I wouldn't at least seeing myself marry. It's a waste of time. It's a waste of money. (i said that on the 5th wheel). I'd rather spent my money at nutraplanet.

* High standards are tough - I have them too. In any aspect of life (relationships, school, bodybuilding, whatever). I would also find problems with certain girls and write them off without giving them a chance. Once you convince yourself that you've found the 'perfect' girl - you may be psychologically setting yourself up for failure. No one is perfect.

* Also, by saying she is the perfect girl - how long have you known her? Honestly. And what characteristics make her perfect? It's easy to confuse a beautiful girl for a perfect girl at first. It's easier to see 'perfectness' in someone your initially physically attracted to.

*Why is she perfect? How is she perfect? Because you feel more secure with your knowing you have a pretty girl? I've been down that road several times. I was insecure as hell in high school, but I was dating Ms. Teen Maryland. I let it be known - it was a false confidence that could evaporate at any time.
I had to get secure with myself, so I wouldn't rely on bullshit relationships to bring me happiness and security.

* On the ego thing: I don't think you are reading this whole thing correctly. There are clearly circumstances beyond your control and shouldn't effect your ego.
Listen man, girls want needs - guys have wants.
Suppose her ex-boyfriend is 5'6'' 100lbs with a 3inch dick - how would that make you feel? It shouldn't make you feel good or bad. He happened to be a right place - at the right time, and she felt something for him. If she were truly secure (and perfect) she wouldn't be trying to get back together with an ex. She'd be doing her own thing. My opinion.

*Lastly, I still think you have your priority straight. School. Working out. The future. Hell, when im having problems with girls - the last thing I want to do is work out. So your head isnt out of the game.

*I don't want to rag on the south - but I'm a northern kid in a southern state. The kids down here - set themselves up for failure. The girls want to be married before they are out of college. And the guys want to be married before they are financially independent.

*My advice is this: This should be the most selfish time of your life. Get good grades for you. Weightlift and build your body for you. Be superficial and selfish. Hookup with girls if you want. Don't get tied down emotionally with relationships (at this age they are meaningless). Get yourself ready your when real-life sets in (when you leave school). Build your resume. Come out of school (or grad school) with a job with a big paycheck waiting for you. No one can take that away.

And 10 years from now, you'll find that perfect girl, you be financial set, and you'll realize why all the other 'relationships' went to ****.



I'd have to say ~95% of college girls are basically the same. The majority live their lives to impress guys. Their lives have no real direction beyond that. It's completely based around a social-construct and role-play that they have bought into. They have no capacity for creative thought. They are followers. It amounts to trying to be 'hotter' than the other girl and hiding their own insecurities behind make-up. That's why they make shitty relationships. Because it's not based on their significant others, it solely based on their own insecurity (and needs). It's so stupid. Date women, hook up with the college girls.

I don't care if people think that's selfish. I'm a nice guy at heart. I love my parents. I believe in God. I live a clean alcohol-free and drug-free life. I try to surround myself with winners.

But I don't have tolerance for girls who play games and try to help themselves to my money. The ambition-less girls who are one generation removed from white trash - and want to marry into wealthy families.

I date an awesome girl right now - we aren't exclusive. She models in New York City - and we basically have our separate lives - until school is over. She understands this and shes not trying to mess up school for me - nor am I trying to mess up her career ambitions. This is the only way to work it at this age.

Sorry i'm moody from this Superdrol. But you gotta look out for #1 if youre in your 20s.

 

[jminis]

Find a big girl they need lovin too and they won't serve up this nonsense. :lol: Sorry bro but I thought you could use a laugh. Keep your head up plenty of women out there. We always seem to find things when were not looking for them.

 

[MaDmaN]

He feels like someone ripped his heart out and then stepped on it.I think to some degree we all have been there but not as severe as you but it still sucks.The only thing that really helps is time,do things for yourself like training, dam if it wasn't for my working out right now I would be in a nut house.I have my gym right in my house.If I had to leave the house to go workout right now with the new baby it would never happen.Even with the home gym I have to talk myself into working out sometimes but afterward dam do I feel good.Nothing anyone can say will make you feel better right now but you will find it has happened to alot of people including myself my childhood sweetheart left me 6 months before we were to be married but I was only 19 so im sure it was for the best...AS FAR AS A NORMAL LIFE there isn't one.What is normal it is the balance between two extremes no one really falls in the normal catagory but somewhere in either extreme then we take an average of the two..Good luck

 

[sage]

my girl and i have been through a lot guy, pretty similar to what you're going through. im not telling you everything will work out (who knows) but heartaches will past and go. Its just brutal when its still present. This girl might not be the dream you've been searching for but that dream will come through one day. Be strong
Sage

 

[houseman]

Talk to her.

Be honest and tell her how you feel. I've come to the conclusion in life that it is useless to hide how you're feleing towards the opposite sex by not speaking up.

You may take a bit of an ego hit and you may look a little silly but whatever. Get over it. Ante up and be honest with this girl and say exactly what you're thinking and feeling.

Man I'm glad to be out of the dating scene. The head games that go on are just annoying and frustrating. I tell ya though, I made my best gains during that period in my life. All the anger and frustration taken out on the weights

Good luck bro.

 

[chasec]

Find a big girl they need lovin too and they won't serve up this nonsense. :lol: Sorry bro but I thought you could use a laugh. Keep your head up plenty of women out there. We always seem to find things when were not looking for them.

more cushin' for the pushin! i've found that i'm attracted to girls that aren't in sororities, and don't have that mentality that they are the best and the world revolves around them. i'm strongly attracted to mature, intelligent women; they seem to have the right mindset and don't play games with your head.

 

[jarhead]

I have another approach-Act like you aren't affected by her. Distance yourself a bit. When she says she doesn't want to be serious, say "yeah me neither." Trust me, when a girl knows she can have you, she loses interest. If you're a bit of a challenge, she's going to wonder why she can't get your attention. And it will put her back on the chase. She's already told you she doesn't want to be serious, so if you go to her and spill your guts, she'll be more put off. So really you don't have anything to lose. Don't be a dick to her or anything, just be confident and positive knowing you can get another girl and she's going to wonder "what the hell does this guy got?!" Chicks eat that **** up. Example, I was dating my wife for about a month, and we were spending alot of time together. I was head over heels for her and she was the hottest girl I had dated. One night we were out and she was acting kind of weird. I asked what was up and she said" well I just don't want to be serious right now." Inside I was crushed, and wanted to freak out, but for some reason I just said "OK." Right away she was like, What? She changed her tune immediately. If the girl is really into you, she won't just let you go. Either way good luck.

 

[jarhead]

more cushin' for the pushin! i've found that i'm attracted to girls that aren't in sororities, and don't have that mentality that they are the best and the world revolves around them. i'm strongly attracted to mature, intelligent women; they seem to have the right mindset and don't play games with your head.

Just admit it, you're into BBW's!:lol:

 

[knox]

I'd have to say ~95% of college girls are basically the same. The majority live their lives to impress guys. Their lives have no real direction beyond that. It's completely based around a social-construct and role-play that they have bought into. They have no capacity for creative thought. They are followers. It amounts to trying to be 'hotter' than the other girl and hiding their own insecurities behind make-up. That's why they make shitty relationships. Because it's not based on their significant others, it solely based on their own insecurity (and needs). It's so stupid. Date women, hook up with the college girls.



AMEN BROTHER!!:goodpost:

 

[wranglergirl]

((((((((BIG HUGZ))))))))))

I can state for the record that girls are stupid....really...and someone did say it..and i hate to say it but all my girlfriends admit to it.....( i like to think I am the exception to the rule here, when i like someone I want to be with them, no games)......but she knows she can have you...........So distance yourself if you can......... if you cant walk away, yeah it hurts like hell now but in the end your so much better off....You seem like a cool person, and well you always have to remember, I DESERVE to be with someone who treats me the way i treat them......makes sense........

We have all been there with our hearts broken, Mine still is broken over my ex, and perhaps it always will be, the first guy i ever loved, yet I loved him enough to let him go and do his own thing...( sometimes actions are louder than words, meaning he said the i love you's but showed me something different)....... my heart was broken......... and here i am 6 months later, alive, hanging in there, dating if someone may ask and if not, well my plate is full with health issues as you all know........

I wish you luck and always know that NOT all girls are evil, wenchy witches !!!!!! really sometimes you need to go through some evil ones to find US ( and yes i classify myself as a good girl) good ones.....

 

[cobra1414]

you may have been roped in bro, but on the other hand it may have been a simple miscommuncation, you thinking you were gonna be exclusive and she not wanting that, if it was never openly discussed you have no right to assume thats where things are going, imo.

but I've been there too (**** we all have), it'll get better.

 

[CDB]

Sucks. I've been in a similar position for a while. Found a girl who I'd spend forever with, but sometimes things don't work out. Comes down to the fact that it's got to be mutual or it can't happen the right way to make it worth it. Chill out, keep yourself in whatever role it is she wants you in, if you caqn bear it. If not, go take care of yourself and use the emotions for something good, like strangling kittens. Just don't let a closed door distract you from all the open ones, 'cause that's a shitty trap to fall into.

As for giving advice to other people, I'm with you on that. People, especially women, always come to me with their damn relationship problems and ask what I think. I tell them, I'm usually right, but my own relationships are far from picture perfect. It's easier said than done is all.

 

[Iron Warrior]

Bro most things never go the way you plan them when there are other people involved in your plans. Never expect anything out of anyone, sorry to burst your bubble but you may be disappointed if you rely on others. You did nothing wrong it happens to many people, the sooner you move on the better. That's what I realized after my 1st heartbrake. Get a hobby that keeps your mind off negative things, go coach a sport, go paintball shooting, get a punching bag or whatever keeps your mind busy. And life isn't "normal", so don't worry about it.

 

[wranglergirl]

((((HUGZ))))) to bean, just checking in on you........!!!!!!! Smile, makes em wonder why your smileing

 

[Bean]

I have another approach-Act like you aren't affected by her. Distance yourself a bit. When she says she doesn't want to be serious, say "yeah me neither." Trust me, when a girl knows she can have you, she loses interest. If you're a bit of a challenge, she's going to wonder why she can't get your attention. And it will put her back on the chase. She's already told you she doesn't want to be serious, so if you go to her and spill your guts, she'll be more put off. So really you don't have anything to lose. Don't be a dick to her or anything, just be confident and positive knowing you can get another girl and she's going to wonder "what the hell does this guy got?!" Chicks eat that **** up. Example, I was dating my wife for about a month, and we were spending alot of time together. I was head over heels for her and she was the hottest girl I had dated. One night we were out and she was acting kind of weird. I asked what was up and she said" well I just don't want to be serious right now." Inside I was crushed, and wanted to freak out, but for some reason I just said "OK." Right away she was like, What? She changed her tune immediately. If the girl is really into you, she won't just let you go. Either way good luck.

Yeah I know spilling my guts on her would definitely push her away... the problem here is that I KNOW all of this like by heart, but when it comes to practical application I keep fucking things up. But yeah I think the disinterested thing is the only way to go right now...
but I've got to really be disinterested completely... I already asked her if she was "really" comfortable with me dating other girls then if she didnt want any exclusivity and she hesitated for a split second and said "yes"... but it was that look you can tell that it isnt complete truth.
So I'll do exactly that :cheers:

 

[Bean]

you may have been roped in bro, but on the other hand it may have been a simple miscommuncation, you thinking you were gonna be exclusive and she not wanting that, if it was never openly discussed you have no right to assume thats where things are going, imo.

but I've been there too (**** we all have), it'll get better.

well it was openly discussed actually, thats the killer part...

((((HUGZ))))) to bean, just checking in on you........!!!!!!! Smile, makes em wonder why your smileing

thanks WG i'm glad there's people here that care about my well being...

its tough in real life, because my two best friends left for the military and i had a falling out with alot of my other regular friends once me and the ex-gf broke up... she's a manipulator she is...

But its ok... I think I'm getting stood up tonight by this chick... but I knew it was coming even after she made the date.... but this time I listened and I was prepared for any disappointment... while there is an initial shock of "hey damn i was right!" i'm pretty ok about 30 seconds later...
wanted to take her out downtown tonight; but since thats a standup; i'll prolly take a few friends and buy a few rounds...

Later girl and guys!

 

[chasec]

Just admit it, you're into BBW's!:lol:

the hell is a BBW?

 

[jarhead]

the hell is a BBW?

Big Beatiful Women. It's porn lingo for fat chicks.

 

[Bean]

Well the chick didnt stand me up, finally called me later in the night and we met up to see a movie instead of heading downtown at her suggestion

I detached myself from her, I was very nice though, held the door, paid the tickets and food, etc... halfway through the movie i hadnt so much as put my arm around her...
then she sneaks in and puts a move on me lol... it was the ol "lemme see your abs" routine... it was fun teasing her because she'd keep coming back....
maybe this formula will work well enough...

 

[jarhead]

All right! The tables are starting to turn! Good for you !

 

[CEDeoudes59]

good
wow that was quick...

 

[houseman]

ahh the games school boys and school girls play.

When you get to women let me know. Then I'll be interested.

 

[Iron Warrior]

Great, looks like you're back in the game :thumbsup:
I still wouldn't be too emotionally wrapped up though, just my 2 pennies

 

[wranglergirl]

GAMES!!!!!!!!!!! ick...I had a similar thing but i finally decided enough is enough......i cant and wont play games if i like someone than they know it......I am honest to a fault sometimes....... hence why I am single i supposse......

Anyway bean if you ever need to vent, ask advice, email me.....( in my profile).....or AIM me......((((((((HUGZ)))))))) and sounds like she is doing what you wanted her to do...........

 

[wranglergirl]

Hey bean your not alone.......Sometimes being to honest and telling how you feel is shitty and should not be done........Because than you get the door slammed in your face.....and that my friend sucks................. ( happened to me tonight)............well I now know NEVER try to open that door again......it isent worth it........

 

[Bean]

I guess I no longer have pm privledges? I guess I did something bad?

Games would be a nice thing to not have anymore... but unfortunately for us they still exist and we may never escape their grasp...

It gets hard to get in touch with this girl; and I KNOW why lol... I always knew, just knew I was prolly smothering her or something that has that effect....
well I wasnt smothering her, I never called more than twice a day unless I was returning a phone call, etc... today during my 1hr break at work, I called her on the phone and she actually answered, I had already found out she went downtown the night before AFTER I got off work (and her friend too who went with her that also works with me, she told me about it)...
but then she informs me after a lot of talking that she made out with a girl that night...
I was like "wow thats pretty cool, etc..." it was kinda different feeling though...

but the trouble I had with it is that she was drunk (and she has always said she doesnt drink but I see it all the time, so thats a first lie)... and the second problem is; what keeps it from being some other dude? i find a trust issue there... One might say, "Well she's not your gf"... then I might say: "What's the big deal with hiding it then?"
she hid it from me, her friends were wondering if she was going to tell me.... It makes ME feel less special I guess... its this whole acceptance thing that I have a problem with.... if its that easy to make out with her, then what the **** am i wasting my time with her for?

always making excuses why we cant do something, but then runs off first chance she gets with her friends (and its happened plenty of times already)...

So I finally get the message and I tell her on the phone that I'm prolly gonna leave her be for a while, and she then tells me about her problem by getting bored with guys fast... but she's not bored with me she says... yeah right...

So its ok, I think she's just very confused and she's stressed a lot about stuff she doesnt tell me. Which also scares me because there's something MAJOR I'm missing here... the pieces just dont fit together quite right. What is there for her to be stressed about? no school, only job is during the day, not hurting for money, not hurting on friends, etc, etc... just something doesnt smell right.

Its times like these where I have no self-esteem. Things just point at my gym-workouts as a form of vanity to make myself look better and therefore be more likeable. Always trying to feel accepted for whatever reasons, I'm tired of doing things for people or doing things period to help others like me for whatever dumbshit reason. Its been so "just beneath" my perception that I havent seen it but I do now, and I realize that I've been doing it my entire life... always wanting to be accepted because I've never really been quite normal... or at least as relatively normal as the next person that still has friends and still has a life, etc...
I'm not going to make this thread a sob-story, but I've had a lot of time to look deep into myself and I'm not enjoying what I find. Maybe I should go take some psychology classes so I can better understand myself.

Oh and WG, one thing I've learned, is never say never... things happen just because... its life, its not fair, but it all evens out most of the time But never say never, because never is such an obscenely long time, that you'll cry on your hands and knees if it ever came true...

Feel free to email me WG or aim me, etc... I'll listen to anything you have to say so long as you agree the same

 

[CEDeoudes59]

only board supporters have the PMs, due to a black market...

 

[wranglergirl]

Hey bean ((((HUGZ))))))

Hmmmm, that was alot to digest, seems to me you need to move on, what is the saying when you love someone let them go, seems to be the case here...Although i dont know if you love her, you do like her so I am adapting the saying for this purpose

As for psych classes I have everyone under the sun, and I find living life, and some advice my mom gave me once...Work on one thing in your life, either school, work, the gym, anything pick one thing.....focus on it and other things will fall into place, I am guilty of trying to solve all my issues and than I get overwelmed, ( Like now) so I have to remember to choose one and things do get better!!!!!!!

I have a short story for you, but i am not going to post it here, so email me or AIM me....( in profile) I tried to find your email or AIM and I cant......And agreed your allowed to say anything to me as long as I get the same in return!!! deal

Chin up, and one day at a time..............!!!!!!

 

[Bean]

I tried to email you but it says you dont accept emails? I get off work kinda late-ish at TGIFridays

I'm unsure why you're unable to email me because I have the settings open to allow it... weird... just email me at my old address: [email protected] and i'll reply to you with my new gmail account (that has no spam and i'd like to keep it that way, so no open postings of it )

Yeah I feel overwhelmed sometimes too when I try to take on too much. The girl still likes me a lot I guess but I think she's confused... hell she might be stressing out over stuff like trying to stay detached from me...
Its not an ego thing, but it all of my relationships, if the girl likes me, its hard for them to stop... I guess I open up too much; I get lots of klingons that way... I seem to be a magnet for them over the years. (not so much anymore i guess)

 

[Meerschaum]

Sometimes I question the sanity of my life, guys. Over the past week I've had the enjoyable company of the girl of my dreams. You know that girl you dream about?

Imagine having that girl being so beautiful; more beautiful that your self-esteem would allow to be even "somewhat" logical to have as your own, her awareness, and her company so warm and caring..... Intelligence and kindness beyond your assumptions that you allow for normal human females......

I've been dating THAT girl for 2 weeks, with promises of plenty more. Seeing and hearing all the signs that she will not be super serious but "somewhat" serious. I can't say I've fallen for her, but I've never been with anything even remotely like her.... And I have incredibly high standards. Over the past two nights I've had evidence of different thoughts on "seriousness" from my mind and hers. Then imagine after a bit of drinking, that she admits that she doesnt want a "boyfriend"at all because she's in love with somene still in her hometown 1000 miles away. It all hit me at once over two nights (if that makes any sense). Of course the BIG one hit me tonight telling me she doesnt want a boyfriend at all. She's not interested in anyone else at the moment, but that still doesnt make me feel any better compared to her ex-bf that she's "still" in love with. (after 1.5 years) Admittance she refrains from, but I know the truth. Heartache like this only breeds more hate, more killer instinct in the gym. I feel so used. I'm so angry.

I feel that I've been had. All the preaching, all the talk that I make about trusting someone too much and I fall into the same FUCKING TRITE category that I labeled so many others under. I am such a creature of my own creation.

Oh she still wants to "be the same way as it was" but she keeps having headaches or not feeling well (only over two nights)...... but still I just don't find any comfort in that AT ALL. I'll probably fall under the same false pretense, but I'll be destroyed again with lies lies lies...

Tonight, while I was talking to her friends, she hit me with that bomb. That she didnt want to be that "serious". Which I didnt even call "serious". Dating eclusively, but not super serious.... Anyone understand that? I did.... She didnt... she exclaims that she doesnt have anyone else that she's interested in....

I'm under extreme pain and I want to just explode. I'm not even logical right now I don't think. I had this feeling a few days ago and it came to a head and hit me with its full brunt tonight. From now on I'm trusting my gut instinct. It has always been right, though my heart has never trusted it.

I always try to give advice to others about their relationships and help them. But my own are so FUCKED UP. I just don't care anymore. I hurt so bad. Its hard to explain such a hit to my ego, even the little bit of ego that I still had.... My confidence is completely shot, I have nothing left. I've never ever ever been able to even have a normal relationship with a girl, something always has to be FUCKED UP BEYOND BELIEF....

Forgive my complete exposure of my soul. But I cant stand it anymore. I'm a magnetic attraction for klingons or "users"...
I just don't care anymore...... I just want to stop and take a rest for a couple centuries.

I quit. I fucking quit. Any girl, of my high standards, lets me down hardcore, some way or another. I've just gotta get my brain into the actual "believe none of what you hear and half of what you see" attitude. School is so important, and I'm going places that I just can't get my head into that game. I've got to completely seperate myself from that BS. What's the point of wasting my time with that half-assed ****?

ah man, dont beat yourself up, relationships are tough things, people these days seem to focus on 'working on' the realtionship, the thing is nothing functional needs 'work' in terms of people getting along, do you have to 'work on' the relationships (speaking non sexual here of course) you have with family members, friends, co workers, etc ? nope, and those usually last or at least remain amicable. My advice to any/all is basically to let it ride, find someone who you dont need to work on keeping the peace with and it'll rock. sorry if the above is off topic, but I'm of the opinon the only time ya need to 'work' on the non tangible and often ephermal thing called a relationship is if your trying to get laid in the immediate sense, any other 'work' is just bailing out a sinking ship and its gonna suck in the end.

 

[Bean]

That sounds very plausible. Real work shouldnt be needed in a relationship at all I guess... little work like remembering things and listening (which can be hard once in a while with anyone), etc needs to be done I think...

thx man

 

[wranglergirl]

I emailed you chin up!!!!!!!!! and remember the right girl will come along.......it takes time and lots of frogs.............than you will find your princess.....( i cant belive i just said that).......anyway................

((((HUGZ))))))))

 

[Bean]

omg I can't believe you just said that either lol

Ok now, *looks around like nothing at all happened*

 

[wranglergirl]

Yeah yeah, its the cold thats it.......( blame it on the winter weather )

 

[Funny Monkey]

been there before bro! Time heals all wounds. I actually tried to remain a virgin until I got married. I did pretty good too made it almost to my 20 birthday. Then this chick came along and acted like she loved me blah blah blah. we dated for about 6 months and then I finally gave it up we had talked about marriage one day and I figured I woudl marry her so I gave her my virginity. I kid you not less than 48 hours after I had sex with her she broke up with me then I found out she had been fucking and fooling around with other people turns out it was all really just a game to see if she could get what I had. Fucked me up for many years and I still deal with weird emotions from time to time. She writes me all the time telling me how stupid she was and I tell her to **** off nicely of course.

I am getting married in 4 months. When I started dating my fiance I told her srait up any bull **** and your out. I told her that if I even had a bad dream about her that she was gone. I was just so tired of all the bull **** that college girls bring. But to my my surprise she turned out to be a very great girl. She has her head on strait and she puts forth 110% efort to suppost me and make me comfortable. She has small faults but other than that she is the perfect girl.

My point is is that this kind of stuff will happen pretty much until you tell yourself that you'd rather be lonely than to be drug through the mud of a stupid bitch in a relationship. Then when you get in a relationship and it starts to stink you say later bee-atch I'd rather be lonely then be with a game playin hoe as yourself. Just my 2cc's bro

 

[Bean]

man I know how you feel... because i feel the same way... i get so sick of being walked over and its just time that i realized whats going on and do something about it... so i did!

monday night before mardi gras i took two random chicks and one other girl from work to the beach to watch the sunrise lol... nothing really happened; but the girl in question found out about it; and the girl from work that went with me doesnt remember much because she slept the whole way lol... just all fun really... nothing even happened

 

[wranglergirl]

Good advice funny monkey i am single myself and the BS i have dealt with in the past.......forget it i am better than that and although i am lonely at times......I would rather be single and alone than with someone who is an ass ......... JUst my 2 cents....

 

[jeep69]

Bean, I feel your pain bro, Same **** has happenned to me over and over again, It has definately changed me for the worse, you said "you feel like you have nothing left", I feel that exact same way, and I thinkI always will. Those people that impact us the most will always have that part of us that will love them forever no matter what they do. I met someone my Frosh year of high school, Girl of my dreams. the 1st day of class I walked in and saw her, I was just like O ****, we had a great relationship until our senior year when I found out she was banging 1 of my best friends and another guy and all this time talking **** behind my back, making fun of me and all kinds of stuff, but to this day I still love her. NEVER SAW IT COMING. I still have not recovered to this day and I dont know if I ever will. It happened again and again with different girls but to a lesser extent. recently, I was really into this girl becuase she was different, she was a good girl. went to church every sunday and promised she would never cheat on me. All was good for about 5 months- then one weekend she invites me to lunch-I show up and she is wearing a wedding ring and introduces me to the guy that she is going to marry- They had been together the WHOLE time she was with me, she was just using me to make him jelious- needless to say that confrontation didnt go so well.
You will eventually get to a point where stuff like this dosent even make you mad anymore, IT will just leave you empty- I have reached it and it is a horrible feeling when a person has no emotion over something like that. When the high school girl broke the old hart into pieces I was angry and punched everything I could get my hands on- but nowadays I dont even get upset when it happens- I have nothing left as well- as you stated. **** like this has definately made me a much colder and pretty much an emotionless person at heart- so just dont let this happen to you bro. It is a HORRIBLE FEELING and I dont think I will ever get any better but if you spin it the right way you wont fall into this cycle.

Sorry to ramble on but I just wanted you to know that you arnt alone in this probelm, I definately feel your pain. Go HIT THE GYM and take it out there, and next time dont put all your eggs in one basket so to speak, I know it is hard to do but it is just not safe.