What's Your Motivation?

mountainman33

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Hi Everyone,

Starting this thread because sometimes we need reminders as to why we're chasing a goal. I know we all have goals here, adding mass, losing weight, getting strong, shredding up, but what is really driving you? A bad break up? A childhood dream? Trying to show those people from high school they were wrong? What is that laser focus that got you started and keeps you in the iron game?

I'll start (obviously):

I initially started because I was the skinny kid in school, I graduated from high school at 5' 11", 135 lbs. I made it my mission through college to change that. 2 years and 50 lbs. later I was 6', 185 lbs. By senior year I was 6' 1", 196 lbs. Worked my tale off for volleyball to be one of the best outsides on the east coast.

My latest motivaion however is for a much different reason. About 2-1/2 years ago my step-son was molested by a family member, but we only found out about it last spring. There was law enforcement involved, investigations, and court appearances and such. When all was said and done the perpetrator got off scott free because he had a TBI (traumatic brain injury) and was found incompetent to stand trial due to the fact that he "can't distinguish between right and wrong". And because Vermont doesn't have a law on the books to address that, he walked. The worst part is that his family feels THEY got justice and THEY were the victims. I forgot to mention, this person also coerced a 12 year old girl to have sex with him, among other things. His family, especially his father, see us as the bad guys and have made threats towards us, and generally tried to intimidate my family.

My goal/motivation:

Get as strong as humanly possible in order to protect my family. If things escalate, and I need to get physical, I want to make sure that it's a concise and brutal decision in my favor. I want to make sure that I can incapacitate anyone who poses a threat to my family and make sure that one else will make the mistake of messing with me and my family ever again.

Alright, now you know my story, who's next?
 

gokix811

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I'm very sorry to hear that happened to your step son. Really blows my mind that kind of thing is still happening and people are still getting away with it.

You ever take part in Yankee League BTW?

I'm not going to get too deep into my story. The gist is, I was on the fast track to being really unhealthy and was sick for almost all of 2011. Wanted to change and lose weight but wasn't sure how. Heck, I started with p90. I scoured the Interwebs; reading, learning, and building upon that foundation. I still learn new things every day.

My biggest challenge is myself, each and every day. Not doing this for anyone else, and quite honestly, I don't think anyone else cares about my goals as much as I do. My motivation varies. Sometimes I'm fearful I'll get sick again if I don't keep up this lifestyle. I recently lost my aunt to a rare cancer about a month ago, and sometimes use her memory as motivation.
 
mountainman33

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You ever take part in Yankee League BTW?
We used to field a VT team for Yankee league, but travel was becoming a problem. Being that most ball is played in Burlington traveling to NY made it a little easier. We play in IREVA league. We almost won open regionals last year.
 
Lukef2000

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Man that's awful to hear about your stepson. I won't voice my views on that type of thing as I'm extremely brutal and it might be frowned upon but I'm sure you could guess quite easily lol.

My motivation is similar to yours I was 5'10 and 130-135. I also drank like a fish and did drugs regularly ( nothing too heavy just pills etc) . I had a high potential incident at work (almost lost my $150k a year job) and realized something had to change. I look back on my unhealthy lifestyle and use that for motivation, to Never be like that again.

These days I strive to be better than I was yesterday.
 
mountainman33

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when I'm feeling a lack of motivation, i watch a little youtube right before the gym...typically Ronnie Coleman doing something ridiculous like leg pressing 2000lbs.


YEAHHHH BUDDAY.
ain't nothin to it but to do it
 
mtinsideout

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Lol my motivation is simple, I have a desk job so if I don't hit the gym I'll become unhealthy and probably fat... Also the gym helps me get out all of my days stresses, it is one of the few places where I can take mental break.
 
dds

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sorry to hear about your son......but that "family member" will get his/hers some day.

mine was to live longer, my wife is 7 yrs younger then me and since most men die 7yrs earlier then their mate (of the same age) ive got to try and beat those odds, plus I like being big and jacked that's no lie :thumbsup:
 
mountainman33

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sorry to hear about your son......but that "family member" will get his/hers some day.

mine was to live longer, my wife is 7 yrs younger then me and since most men die 7yrs earlier then their mate (of the same age) ive got to try and beat those odds, plus I like being big and jacked that's no lie :thumbsup:
Are you her sugar daddy?
 

kisaj

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I've been lifting and training for various sports and activities I have enjoyed for the last 22 years. Typically my motivation was/is to get the edge in that sport (DH mtn biking, endurance events, rugby, MMA) and be better than the next guy. I am just shy of 40 and have a beautiful family, so my motivation changed about 6 years ago. Now first and foremost is about staying healthy and active so I can enjoy all the energy my little girls and wife have. Secondly, it is simply part of my DNA at this point. My dad bashed it in my head as a teenager and working out and staying strong is just part of me. Third is straight vanity. I love being asked all the time what I do, how I do it, etc because guys my age are all falling apart and I hear that I look and have the energy of someone 10-15 years younger.
 
mountainman33

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I've been lifting and training for various sports and activities I have enjoyed for the last 22 years. Typically my motivation was/is to get the edge in that sport (DH mtn biking, endurance events, rugby, MMA) and be better than the next guy. I am just shy of 40 and have a beautiful family, so my motivation changed about 6 years ago. Now first and foremost is about staying healthy and active so I can enjoy all the energy my little girls and wife have. Secondly, it is simply part of my DNA at this point. My dad bashed it in my head as a teenager and working out and staying strong is just part of me. Third is straight vanity. I love being asked all the time what I do, how I do it, etc because guys my age are all falling apart and I hear that I look and have the energy of someone 10-15 years younger.
That's awesome. Definitely very good reasons. Thank you for sharing.
 
Billy R

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My motivations have remained pretty constant for about 25 years now. I see far too many people in atrocious shape and I never want to be that way. I want to feel as good as possible for as long as I possibly can. In my experience, the hour I exercise every day makes me feel great for the other 23 hours.
 
Billy R

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I've been lifting and training for various sports and activities I have enjoyed for the last 22 years. Typically my motivation was/is to get the edge in that sport (DH mtn biking, endurance events, rugby, MMA) and be better than the next guy. I am just shy of 40 and have a beautiful family, so my motivation changed about 6 years ago. Now first and foremost is about staying healthy and active so I can enjoy all the energy my little girls and wife have. Secondly, it is simply part of my DNA at this point. My dad bashed it in my head as a teenager and working out and staying strong is just part of me. Third is straight vanity. I love being asked all the time what I do, how I do it, etc because guys my age are all falling apart and I hear that I look and have the energy of someone 10-15 years younger.
I hear you my friend. I am 51 years old, but I look and feel better than most men I see that are in their early 30's. Ponce DeLeon came to Florida looking for the fountain of youth. In my opinion, if he had picked up some weights he would have found it.
 

kisaj

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Yes sir. My father is is going to be 74 next month and I still go up to my parents house 1-2 times a month and we jump on the bikes and ride 10 miles to gym and then back. He is still benching 245 for 10-15 reps and will squat 300 when his knees are in good shape. He survived prostate cancer and the docs all agreed that it was partially due to his strength to begin with. He is one tough SOB and while I thought he was insane in my teens and 20's I sure am glad he was now that I am older.

To this day, the very first thing out of his mouth every time I see him is, "you still lifting hard?"
 
Billy R

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Yes sir. My father is is going to be 74 next month and I still go up to my parents house 1-2 times a month and we jump on the bikes and ride 10 miles to gym and then back. He is still benching 245 for 10-15 reps and will squat 300 when his knees are in good shape. He survived prostate cancer and the docs all agreed that it was partially due to his strength to begin with. He is one tough SOB and while I thought he was insane in my teens and 20's I sure am glad he was now that I am older.

To this day, the very first thing out of his mouth every time I see him is, "you still lifting hard?"
Your father is an inspiration to us all, and a guide to how life should be lived........My daughter was born when I was fairly old(I was 38), so I am about 15 years older than most of her friends fathers are. But at any school functions or parties, if they need something heavy lifted or moved, they always come to the oldest guy in the room. My daughter gets a kick out of her friends reactions to me. Most of their fathers are taller and heavier than me, but she tells me their most common reaction is "Your dad looks so....powerful". The hour a day I spend exercising is one of the greatest investments I've ever made.
 
mountainman33

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Your father is an inspiration to us all, and a guide to how life should be lived.........
I concur. I wish my dad was more of a roll model for me like that. Sounds like you've got your hands full with that guy. :)
 

kisaj

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Ha, yeah, he is very rough around the edges. He is like Forest Gump with all of his life stories that nobody can believe actually happened. Oh, and how he loves to tell them. lol

Thanks for the words everyone.
 
Billy R

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I concur. I wish my dad was more of a roll model for me like that. Sounds like you've got your hands full with that guy. :)
Most parents underestimate the influence their lifestyle has on their kids. I believe my example is what caused my daughter to take up karate, because she has always seen me exercising i think she just naturally assumed she should too. She is a second degree blackbelt at age 13, the thought of quitting has never even occurred to her.
 

kisaj

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That is so cool and hits close to home. My dad boxed and taught me at an early age, which led to martial arts. My 6 yo daughter started Tang Soo Do last January and is now a green belt and on the competition team because she saw me in my training. It has been an absolute amazing experience and I think the discipline and respect level that is taught is so crucial. Plus, her and I go into the garage and hit the heavy bag and spar together.

Again, this is all coming from the parents influence whether intentional or not. They are sponges and pick up everything.
 
Billy R

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That is so cool and hits close to home. My dad boxed and taught me at an early age, which led to martial arts. My 6 yo daughter started Tang Soo Do last January and is now a green belt and on the competition team because she saw me in my training. It has been an absolute amazing experience and I think the discipline and respect level that is taught is so crucial. Plus, her and I go into the garage and hit the heavy bag and spar together.

Again, this is all coming from the parents influence whether intentional or not. They are sponges and pick up everything.
Our lives sound like theyre a lot alike. I love working out with my daughter and sparring with her, its one of my greatest pleasures in the world.Trust me, you'll never regret the time you spend spend exercising with her. It creates an amazing bond that will last forever.
 
mountainman33

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Most parents underestimate the influence their lifestyle has on their kids. I believe my example is what caused my daughter to take up karate, because she has always seen me exercising i think she just naturally assumed she should too. She is a second degree blackbelt at age 13, the thought of quitting has never even occurred to her.
My daughter already copies me with exercising and she's only four. She asks me if she's squatting right. It's really funny. Going to get her into martial arts this coming school year. Not much to choose from around here though. Anyone have any suggestions that have done more than one discipline? I practiced tae kwon do for about 8 years, but don't have any experience with others.
 

kisaj

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It really is about the school and their philosophy. There are so many bad schools that just hand out belts and don't require discipline and earning it. Especially for little ones, a good school is going to focus on attitude, confidence, fitness, family, teamwork, respect, and fundamental life skills outside of just the skill. They all relate and set the ground work for what martial arts are about. We went to 6 schools before finding ours because encompassing all of that was crucial.

If you find that, then the particular art is secondary.
 
mountainman33

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It really is about the school and their philosophy. There are so many bad schools that just hand out belts and don't require discipline and earning it. Especially for little ones, a good school is going to focus on attitude, confidence, fitness, family, teamwork, respect, and fundamental life skills outside of just the skill. They all relate and set the ground work for what martial arts are about. We went to 6 schools before finding ours because encompassing all of that was crucial.

If you find that, then the particular art is secondary.
Awesome! Thank you sir.
 
Dulce

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Sorry to hear about your son. :(. It's a good thing that he has you and your family to help him during these times.

I want to be healthy and fit so that I can enjoy my retirement (one day). What's the use of retiring with a stash of money if I can't physically move around without a walker or go on a vacation without my briefcase of pills? I work in the health care field and I consistently see 80 yr olds that look 60 and also 60 year olds that look 80. Also, I'm that unfortunate type of person where when I gain weight, 80% of it seems to go to my face o_O.
 
Billy R

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My daughter already copies me with exercising and she's only four. She asks me if she's squatting right. It's really funny. Going to get her into martial arts this coming school year. Not much to choose from around here though. Anyone have any suggestions that have done more than one discipline? I practiced tae kwon do for about 8 years, but don't have any experience with others.
That is fantastic. Children are like little bitty sponges, they constantly soak up whatever they see, good or bad. As parents it is our responsibility to give them good stuff to emulate. For instance, how many times do you see really fat parents with healthy, motivated kids? In my experience thats extremely rare.
 
Billy R

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It really is about the school and their philosophy. There are so many bad schools that just hand out belts and don't require discipline and earning it. Especially for little ones, a good school is going to focus on attitude, confidence, fitness, family, teamwork, respect, and fundamental life skills outside of just the skill. They all relate and set the ground work for what martial arts are about. We went to 6 schools before finding ours because encompassing all of that was crucial.

If you find that, then the particular art is secondary.
I totally agree with you. Too many schools pass out belts on a strict time schedule- if you've been there for a certain amount of time you get promoted. That sends entirely the wrong message, it teaches the kids that hard work doesn't matter just showing up is enough. A good school realizes that martial arts is a life tool, a means to an end. Just being a black belt means nothing if it doesn't teach the kid valuable life lessons like hard work, dedication and respect.
 
mountainman33

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I totally agree with you. Too many schools pass out belts on a strict time schedule- if you've been there for a certain amount of time you get promoted. That sends entirely the wrong message, it teaches the kids that hard work doesn't matter just showing up is enough. A good school realizes that martial arts is a life tool, a means to an end. Just being a black belt means nothing if it doesn't teach the kid valuable life lessons like hard work, dedication and respect.
My wife is a former Marine and I used to teach preschool while going to college and I saw all the things parents SHOULDN'T do. We're both of the mindset that children should be respectful all the time. I want to get them involved in martial arts to help reinforce that.
 
Billy R

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My wife is a former Marine and I used to teach preschool while going to college and I saw all the things parents SHOULDN'T do. We're both of the mindset that children should be respectful all the time. I want to get them involved in martial arts to help reinforce that.
My daughters martial arts school is very traditional. Respect is a huge thing there, so much so that the teachers won't even call the parents by their first name, as a sign of respect. They are always referred to as Mr (or Mrs) so and so.
 

kisaj

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My daughters martial arts school is very traditional. Respect is a huge thing there, so much so that the teachers won't even call the parents by their first name, as a sign of respect. They are always referred to as Mr (or Mrs) so and so.
Same- that is how it should be. Last Saturday in competition class, they didn't do any sparring, defense, nothing. They spent 90 min on walking into the ring correctly and with confidence, addressing the judges, and talking. I've gone to competitions and it is so apparent the schools that don't place emphasis on this portion. It is all about detail.

The nice thing is that it is a hybrid when it comes to actual training. She does traditional forms, defense, and basics 2 times a week. Then she has Edge training, where they learn spinning kicks, flips, complex patterns, etc. Then there is sparring and weapons training. It keeps the kids really into it because admittedly, the traditional can become bland for a 6yo day after day.
 
mountainman33

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Same- that is how it should be. Last Saturday in competition class, they didn't do any sparring, defense, nothing. They spent 90 min on walking into the ring correctly and with confidence, addressing the judges, and talking. I've gone to competitions and it is so apparent the schools that don't place emphasis on this portion. It is all about detail.

The nice thing is that it is a hybrid when it comes to actual training. She does traditional forms, defense, and basics 2 times a week. Then she has Edge training, where they learn spinning kicks, flips, complex patterns, etc. Then there is sparring and weapons training. It keeps the kids really into it because admittedly, the traditional can become bland for a 6yo day after day.
That's the kind of place I want to find around here.
 
Billy R

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Same- that is how it should be. Last Saturday in competition class, they didn't do any sparring, defense, nothing. They spent 90 min on walking into the ring correctly and with confidence, addressing the judges, and talking. I've gone to competitions and it is so apparent the schools that don't place emphasis on this portion. It is all about detail.
I once told the head master that everyone always called me Billy, he looked at me and explained that they can't expect the children to show proper respect if they don't do it too. The children are expected to show the higher ranking members respect by referring to them by their proper titles, and so the masters do the same with the parents. Once he explained it to me it all made sense.
 

kisaj

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That's the kind of place I want to find around here.
We went to 6 places and tried them out and I knew it wasn't what I wanted for my kids. Then as luck would have it, the place right by my house that I never knew about is where we ended up and they have been ranked #1 school in Colorado for the last 3 years. We have recruited about a dozen people there already.

The main instructor/owner has a lot of youtube videos out there. Kevin Kowalczik
 
Billy R

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We went to 6 places and tried them out and I knew it wasn't what I wanted for my kids. Then as luck would have it, the place right by my house that I never knew about is where we ended up and they have been ranked #1 school in Colorado for the last 3 years. We have recruited about a dozen people there already.

The main instructor/owner has a lot of youtube videos out there. Kevin Kowalczik
You're lucky, my daughters school is a pretty fair distance from both my house and my office. But its well worth the drive.
 
theOCdude

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Mine is not as exciting as the rest if you, I just don't want to be in a situation where I wish I had more strength or endurance ext. it's kind of scares me so that helps to push me.
 
puccah8808

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I'm sorry about your son. :(

I'm losing weight for myself, but it's also a big F.U to all the people, who never gave me a chance because I was FAT...
 
mountainman33

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I'm sorry about your son. :(

I'm losing weight for myself, but it's also a big F.U to all the people, who never gave me a chance because I was FAT...
I always like being able to tell people F.U. :)
 
puccah8808

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I always like being able to tell people F.U. :)
You know what's amazing?

Seeing the looks on your crappy exes, after a few years, and being able to say, "F.U!!"
 
mountainman33

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You know what's amazing?

Seeing the looks on your crappy exes, after a few years, and being able to say, "F.U!!"
Sounds like you've had the chance to do so.
 
tjbruno

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I was a chubby butthead pretty much all through my teen years. After I graduated HS I was a fat ****, doin drugs, no girlfriend, etc. n decided to change that. Been great ever since...
 
mountainman33

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I was a chubby butthead pretty much all through my teen years. After I graduated HS I was a fat ****, doin drugs, no girlfriend, etc. n decided to change that. Been great ever since...
That's awesome. Those are the kinds of stories I love hearing from the fitness world. Good for you.
 
puccah8808

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Sounds like you've had the chance to do so.
Oh, yesssss!!!! :D One told me that I turned out better than he thought I would. Then he had the audacity to ask me to cosign on a car loan! Gtfo here!!! :D
 
mountainman33

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Oh, yesssss!!!! :D One told me that I turned out better than he thought I would. Then he had the audacity to ask me to cosign on a car loan! Gtfo here!!! :D
What a D-bag!
 
Mikeyjd

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I tend to be an obsessive person by nature. I find that "thing" that captures my interest for a while and I go for it all out. Well, fitness and body aesthetics has taken that role for this season of my life. My goal is to be the strongest, sexiest version of myself I can become in 1 year. We'll see where it goes from there:)
 

kisaj

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Mine is not as exciting as the rest if you, I just don't want to be in a situation where I wish I had more strength or endurance ext. it's kind of scares me so that helps to push me.
In reality, that is always in the back of my head. It is about situational awareness and preparation. Or as some like to call it- functional strength. My mind set is that I never want to be in some situation where I could have fixed it or avoided it by being in better shape physically or mentally. It has grown since being a father, but it was there before that.
 
twistedwillow

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As a child I was in the same situation as the OP's son. I never told anyone about it.
Weight gain was, for me, a form of protection. If I am fat then I am unattractive therefor I am safe. That logic didn't work, and didn't save me from an ... experience ... as and adult.
But now, finally, after just shy of 39 years I have worked out my emotional walls and I also have an amazing partner that I met last year.
I am the biggest girl he has ever been with. ( He, himself, is rather fit, not to mention 8 years younger than me.)
So, my motivation is twofold. To be at a weight that is healthy and makes ME happy and not let the demons of my past rule my future.
And to be as attractive as possible for my partner.
He says he fell in love with me as a bigger girl but he is excited for me to lose weight so he can throw me around the bedroom easier ;) And that works for me!
 

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