How do you find balance in Bodybuilding?

[Dirty Dan]

As we all know in the lifestyle of bodybuilding and physical fitness those who succeed are those who give it their all, they make sacrifices to better their progress and more then often end up walking down a lonely road to achieve great success. I have been lifting weights for about three years now, became very serious going on a little over a year and I have made some great gains in my size and overall health. I quit drinking (for the most part) and eating unhealthy, I spent my time reading various forums to educate myself as best as I can on this lifestyle and its many challenges, and most importantly I have been putting in the dedicated work to achieve my goals.

For most people this lifestyle of bodybuilding is exactly that, a life style. You have your die hard pros and everyone in between to your weekend warriors, I find myself somewhere in the middle, it seems that bodybuilding and weight lifting has taking up most of my free time and energy. If I am not at work I am either at the gym or at home stuffing my face with food. I enjoy doing that, I find weight lifting has changed me as a person it has slowly progressed me from an overly stressed unhealthy person to a now mild mannered down to earth healthy person.

As I have gotten quite serious over the past few months weight lifting has seem to consume all of my time, I have in the past been invited to social events and have declined due to fear of not being able to consume enough of my daily calories or being able to fit in my daily work out. I often passed up opportunities of entering possible relationships with girls due to the commitment of a relationship and the fear of it interfering in my ultimate goal of reaching a certain size. There are hobbies and activities I once partook in and enjoyed but have giving them up due to spending my time on crafting my nutrition or improving on my weight lifting form. I am now at the point where I am wondering if I want to cross that line and walk down that lonely road to be considered one of the greats, or if I am going to fall victim to the demanding lifestyle of bodybuilding and end up failing at it.

I was wondering if anyone else shares similar struggles as myself and how they find balance in bodybuilding? I have already tried to make some changes like cutting my time down in the gym and trying to become a little more social so I do not drive myself crazy, I am looking for advice and input on what others do in their free time out side of bodybuilding whether it be sports, music, fishing, and any possible tips of making bodybuilding a little so to speak easier whether it be ways to make sure I get my daily calories in when I out my normal element to ways of feeling like I am not chained to the gym.

With great thanks -Dirty Dan-

[EatMoar]

Wow... I'm slowly turning into you. My friends have told me I spend to much time in the gym, reading studies and formulating my diet.

I didn't listen to em.

Now I'm making huge strides with my mind and body. I too find it hard to find a balance. For me the gym was just a means to lose weight and he skinny. Then I dipped into lifting and the gym has been my sanctuary ever since. If I'm pissed I hit the gym, girl troubles hit the gym, it's just my solution for everything, and a great one too!

I've ignored girls, parties, and plans with everyone around me just to make sure I could finish my lifts or wake up early so I know I have time to get a good lift in that day . I've recently have gotten countless of compliments from girls and even some from my past who wouldn't even look at me before. This is where lifting meets your personality. You show your robustness and strut like the ****ing man because you are the man, everyone notices, especially women. But you're blinded by what body part you're going to tear up tomorrow that you can't even notice anyone else.

I've thought about what you have though about, going that lonely path and just taking it to the next level but never could come to a conclusion .

The only thing I know for sure is if the world ended tomorrow and I didn't get my gym/lift time in, if die a pissed off soul.

[JudoJosh]

This is just nonsense. Your creating the situation and making it appear the way it is.

Training take about an hour and some change at the most. There's no reason why you can't go on dates or out with friends.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S™II using Tapatalk 2

[Dirty Dan]

Wow... I'm slowly turning into you. My friends have told me I spend to much time in the gym, reading studies and formulating my diet.

I didn't listen to em.

Now I'm making huge strides with my mind and body. I too find it hard to find a balance. For me the gym was just a means to lose weight and he skinny. Then I dipped into lifting and the gym has been my sanctuary ever since. If I'm pissed I hit the gym, girl troubles hit the gym, it's just my solution for everything, and a great one too!

I've ignored girls, parties, and plans with everyone around me just to make sure I could finish my lifts or wake up early so I know I have time to get a good lift in that day . I've recently have gotten countless of compliments from girls and even some from my past who wouldn't even look at me before. This is where lifting meets your personality. You show your robustness and strut like the ****ing man because you are the man, everyone notices, especially women. But you're blinded by what body part you're going to tear up tomorrow that you can't even notice anyone else.

I've thought about what you have though about, going that lonely path and just taking it to the next level but never could come to a conclusion .

The only thing I know for sure is if the world ended tomorrow and I didn't get my gym/lift time in, if die a pissed off soul.

Thanks EatMoar I appreciate you sharing your story and I certainly can relate to you. I started lifting to help with my stress levels and depression and it has now become my sanctuary. What I have been starting to realize is that physical fitness and bodybuilding is very much a mental challenge as much as it is physical and if you get to the point where you become overly obsessed and then stressed out because you are sacrificing other aspects of your life it's going to affect your lifts in a negative manor. I now try to get out and be social with others, if I go out for the day and under eat or miss a meal I don't worry about it because as long as what I did that day was positive and made me happy then it will only help out in the gym. I have taken on the attitude that lifting and life in general is a marathon and not a sprint.

[vidapreta]

This is just nonsense. Your creating the situation and making it appear the way it is.

Training take about an hour and some change at the most. There's no reason why you can't go on dates or out with friends.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S™II using Tapatalk 2

I agree with Josh. Weightlifting is a great part of my life that I really enjoy... But there is plenty of time for the rest of life..I'm in the gym for an hour or 2... Then enjoy the rest of your day whatever that may be..

[Dirty Dan]

This is just nonsense. Your creating the situation and making it appear the way it is.

Training take about an hour and some change at the most. There's no reason why you can't go on dates or out with friends.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S(TM)II using Tapatalk 2

I agree Josh, I use to be one of those people who would spend hours in the gym but now I spend an hour to an hour and a half tops at the gym. I think what was stressing me out the most was that other 26 year olds want to go out and get drunk and then go hit up McDonald's at 2 in the morning and I don't want to fall into that life style. I'm just trying to find balance in staying healthy and dedicated to the gym while maintaining an adequate social life that doesn't revolve around the bar and poor eating habits.

[peter01]

Everything in life requires balance.

This is no different than the workaholic perfectionist that puts work over family, friends, and the overall pursuit of happiness. These individuals "seem" to have reached the levels of success that they worked all their lives towards. But at what cost.

Each and every person i know that fits that mold is either divorced (spouse got tired of the lack of attention), never married (and are older and lonely) and have children who they are completely disconnected with. All because they focused 100% on one thing for too long.

The gains and success will come with whatever goals you set. But there has to be a balance.

[Dirty Dan]

I agree with Josh. Weightlifting is a great part of my life that I really enjoy... But there is plenty of time for the rest of life..I'm in the gym for an hour or 2... Then enjoy the rest of your day whatever that may be..

Thanks Vida, to be honest it was just tough balancing work, the gym, trying to fit in all my macros, getting enough sleep, and trying to stay social without feeling pressured into anything that would affect my gains in the gym. But I realize life is all about balance and I am making time for all of them.

[Dirty Dan]

Everything in life requires balance.

This is no different than the workaholic perfectionist that puts work over family, friends, and the overall pursuit of happiness. These individuals "seem" to have reached the levels of success that they worked all their lives towards. But at what cost.

Each and every person i know that fits that mold is either divorced (spouse got tired of the lack of attention), never married (and are older and lonely) and have children who they are completely disconnected with. All because they focused 100% on one thing for too long.

The gains and success will come with whatever goals you set. But there has to be a balance.

Thanks Peter that was great advice and I'm now slowly starting to see that and it is in return making me happier.

[EatMoar]

I agree Josh, I use to be one of those people who would spend hours in the gym but now I spend an hour to an hour and a half tops at the gym. I think what was stressing me out the most was that other 26 year olds want to go out and get drunk and then go hit up McDonald's at 2 in the morning and I don't want to fall into that life style. I'm just trying to find balance in staying healthy and dedicated to the gym while maintaining an adequate social life that doesn't revolve around the bar and poor eating habits.

That's where I'm coming from. All my friends drink, eat ****ty food and aren't really healthy. I didn't want to fall prey to that, that's why I make the gym and health a priority. I like going out of course but all my friends , including me, have jobs or go to school. Lifting is just as much a stress reliever as going out to the bar, except healthier.

It is what it is. Train the way you want to. And it's your life do what you want. Women and drinking on steer me away from my ultimate goal... Well the Internet does too but you get that point

[vidapreta]

Thanks Vida, to be honest it was just tough balancing work, the gym, trying to fit in all my macros, getting enough sleep, and trying to stay social without feeling pressured into anything that would affect my gains in the gym. But I realize life is all about balance and I am making time for all of them.

As you get older you don't have a social life...just a wife and kids..lol
But yeah making sure you eat right throughout your day can be difficult..More difficult that the actual weightlifting...IMO

[Sean1332]

Agreed with Josh. I used to be upset when I missed a workout, and even more upset when I missed a meal. I wouldn't work out with my wife when she was willing to go to the gym at the same time as me and I ignored my company at dinner because I was busy entering different menu items into myfitnesspal to decide what would fit my macros the best.

I realize now that I'm not a bodybuilder and my purpose for lifting is for pure strength and to compete. No one is paying me to get big and strong. I'm going to enjoy my family and friends, succeed at my job, and then lift weight. I don't beat myself for eating bad food at times and I don't workout 7 days a week. Since I've made that realization I've made all the gains in the world, both in the gym and outside of the gym.

I like how Wendler puts it. You spend all day with your family and at work. Your left with an hour or so for your own time and you should use that to better yourself.

[OnionKnight]

I agree Josh, I use to be one of those people who would spend hours in the gym but now I spend an hour to an hour and a half tops at the gym. I think what was stressing me out the most was that other 26 year olds want to go out and get drunk and then go hit up McDonald's at 2 in the morning and I don't want to fall into that life style. I'm just trying to find balance in staying healthy and dedicated to the gym while maintaining an adequate social life that doesn't revolve around the bar and poor eating habits.

i see where youre comin from with this man. im 23 and all everyone our age wants to do is get drunk/high and party. ill tell you man, finding a girl thats worth it makes the biggest difference. ive been with my high school gf for 5+ years. blowing off parties and what not is not a problem for me because they no longer interest me at all

[Dirty Dan]

As you get older you don't have a social life...just a wife and kids..lol
But yeah making sure you eat right throughout your day can be difficult..More difficult that the actual weightlifting...IMO

Man you got that right, my job limits the amount of food I can eat along with the time I have to eat it so some days it's really tough to fit in all my macros. I can't even imagine when I have a wife and kids how hard it's going to be, but that's the beauty of life you find joy and happiness in all the craziness.

[Sean1332]

As you get older you don't have a social life...just a wife and kids..lol
But yeah making sure you eat right throughout your day can be difficult..More difficult that the actual weightlifting...IMO

lol right? When I'm home from work I do absolutely everything since i work 2 days on 2 days off..change diaper, feed him, give him the bath, vacuum, clean, while my wife sits on the couch and chills. Makes things easier when I tell her I'll be back in 2 hours from the gym

Agreed on the eating..It's hard when you're in a rush. I accept that I'm not perfect and my meals don't have to be either

[Dirty Dan]

Agreed with Josh. I used to be upset when I missed a workout, and even more upset when I missed a meal. I wouldn't work out with my wife when she was willing to go to the gym at the same time as me and I ignored my company at dinner because I was busy entering different menu items into myfitnesspal to decide what would fit my macros the best.

I realize now that I'm not a bodybuilder and my purpose for lifting is for pure strength and to compete. No one is paying me to get big and strong. I'm king to enjoy my family and friends, succeed at my job, and then lift weight. I don't beat myself for eating bad food at times and I don't workout 7 days a week. Since I've made that realization I've made all the gains in the world, both in the gym and outside of the gym.

I like how Wendler puts it. You spend all day with your family and at work. Your left with an hour or so for your own time and you should use that to better yourself.

I agree with you on that Sean. My mindset has changed quite a bit, I use to only concern my self with bodybuilding and would plan my meals and lifting around that. There is an art to bodybuilding but what impresses me now instead of size is shear numbers I am impressed by the guys who can bench, squat, and dead lift ridiculous numbers and are half the size of "the big dudes" or I'm even impressed by the guy who can run 15 miles straight on the treadmill. I think now that I have come to that realization my mind is clear and I have my goals of strength gain set it will allow me a bit more freedom without having to sacrifice my personal life either.

[Dirty Dan]

i see where youre comin from with this man. im 23 and all everyone our age wants to do is get drunk/high and party. ill tell you man, finding a girl thats worth it makes the biggest difference. ive been with my high school gf for 5+ years. blowing off parties and what not is not a problem for me because they no longer interest me at all

It is tough when people our age are wrapped up in that lifestyle and I once was too but as I started to get serious my times going out became fewer and fewer and I would make sure I was in bed at an appropriate time. And that's awesome man I'm happy you found that person in life who has brought you balance and hopefully I will be that lucky as well and it will only add to my drive to succeed and become a better person.

[herderdude]

On paper, it's very simple. Be honest with yourself, find out what you're willing to sacrifice and what you're not, and be ready to accept the consequences. If you aren't willing to stuff your face, don't feel bad when you can't grow. I can't get lean, because I eat microwaveable foods and don't measure or track. I'm okay with it.

Be okay with your results. If you're not, make a change. This thing we do is a part of life, but it's not the whole thing.

[Dirty Dan]

On paper, it's very simple. Be honest with yourself, find out what you're willing to sacrifice and what you're not, and be ready to accept the consequences. If you aren't willing to stuff your face, don't feel bad when you can't grow. I can't get lean, because I eat microwaveable foods and don't measure or track. I'm okay with it.

Be okay with your results. If you're not, make a change. This thing we do is a part of life, but it's not the whole thing.

Thanks for your insight herderdude. I agree and as long I keep obtainable goals that I know I can achieve and don't expect outrageous goals then I'm sure I can remain happy and find the balance I need.

[herderdude]

Thanks for your insight herderdude. I agree and as long I keep obtainable goals that I know I can achieve and don't expect outrageous goals then I'm sure I can remain happy and find the balance I need.

They're your goals. Don't put a limit on yourself. Keep evaluating where you are and where you want to be. Lots of guys have gone way past their wildest dreams in terms of results. I thought I was badass when I was 14 benching 175. Now I want 405, and on down the road I'd like 500. Just enjoy the ride.

If you REALLY want something, you'll do what it takes. If you don't really want it, don't bitch about why you can't get it. Accept it. That philosophy is why the gym is my heaven.

PS I'm so ****ing Zen right now.