My wife's family trying to cause problems

[kingk0ng]

.....

 

[rugger48]

Move.

 

[kingk0ng]

Move.

Why would I let them determine where I live? They never come around anyway. Most of their BS comes over the phone or over the internet, or through the people that we talk to mutually. On the contrary, they live 30-40 miles from us. They moved to Tennessee after we moved and her dad claimed it was so he could be closer to his work.

 

[Rodja]

It's obnoxious, but that is exactly the kind of behavior that would fuel me to keep doing what you're doing. There's a lot of envy, jealousy, and overall immaturity coming from all of them and it's rather sad. Personally, I would just laugh it off and continue with my life, but I can see how it can cause a good amount of tension. Have you talked to your wife about this?

 

[kingk0ng]

It's obnoxious, but that is exactly the kind of behavior that would fuel me to keep doing what you're doing. There's a lot of envy, jealousy, and overall immaturity coming from all of them and it's rather sad. Personally, I would just laugh it off and continue with my life, but I can see how it can cause a good amount of tension. Have you talked to your wife about this?

Thanks. I kind of had your logic when it started, but here recently it's gotten so out of hand that it's just driving both of us nuts. What's making it worst is I've been off the past few days and I still have 4 days left before I go back to work, so I've been having to deal with it and listen to it for a while. I'm apparently lazy for being a nurse, and because of me working my current schedule and having a lot of off days, I am not dedicated to my job.

I've spoken to my wife about it and it's really starting to irritate her. What made it worse, is she got into the labor and delivery section of the hospital, which has been her dream her entire life. On top of that she got a $3.75 raise and is considering going back to school to get her NP, she told her family about it and their response was "well your cousin is doing really good, she's working part-time at Wal-Mart now and is making excellent money and is doing fabulous, we are so proud of her". And literally won't say a thing to my wife when she mentions her career as a nurse.

This is another getting making my wife upset. Her aunt considers my mom an "unfit babysitter" and tells my wife and I (and we are both nurses) medical things about our baby. She'll examine him and say "now if he does this, you should do that" or "this doesn't look right on him, it could be caused by blah blah" and we work in hospitals. As a matter of a fact, my wife helps deliver babies now and takes care of them until their discharge, and they blow it off like we just have pretend jobs.

It's bothering my wife bad too, but she says it's her family and she still wants a relationship with them, but she's slacking down on talking to them, but if she goes more than 3 days without talking to them they call the house and yell at her accusing her of not caring about them, being a failure at life, etc.

 

[smohk]

Similar thing was happening with my mom and her family. She finally had enough and wrote them all letters saying (I'm paraphrasing here) fck off don't contact me anymore (she was more eloquent than that lol) She hasn't dealt with them since. Her mother (my grandmother) tried sending her money to cover a vacation that was ruined and said she would accept an apology because she (my mom) was obvioulsy off her meds. Since then she has cut all contact with her family is is happoer than ever. She ignores calls, emails, Facebook stuffs etc. She will read letters and reply to them but that is it. Kinda sounds like you need to do the same thing...but I have a feeling your wife wiould feel guilty about doing something similar. Just my opinion.

 

[rugger48]

Why would I let them determine where I live? They never come around anyway. Most of their BS comes over the phone or over the internet, or through the people that we talk to mutually. On the contrary, they live 30-40 miles from us. They moved to Tennessee after we moved and her dad claimed it was so he could be closer to his work.

piece of mind, its your family you guys can decide how you want it to work. If he beat his ex-wife and is a nut job along with the rest of the family, the situation will eventually escalate. You have a kid am I correct?

If thats not an option, cut all ties.

 

[Rodja]

Thanks. I kind of had your logic when it started, but here recently it's gotten so out of hand that it's just driving both of us nuts. What's making it worst is I've been off the past few days and I still have 4 days left before I go back to work, so I've been having to deal with it and listen to it for a while. I'm apparently lazy for being a nurse, and because of me working my current schedule and having a lot of off days, I am not dedicated to my job.

I've spoken to my wife about it and it's really starting to irritate her. What made it worse, is she got into the labor and delivery section of the hospital, which has been her dream her entire life. On top of that she got a $3.75 raise and is considering going back to school to get her NP, she told her family about it and their response was "well your cousin is doing really good, she's working part-time at Wal-Mart now and is making excellent money and is doing fabulous, we are so proud of her". And literally won't say a thing to my wife when she mentions her career as a nurse.

This is another getting making my wife upset. Her aunt considers my mom an "unfit babysitter" and tells my wife and I (and we are both nurses) medical things about our baby. She'll examine him and say "now if he does this, you should do that" or "this doesn't look right on him, it could be caused by blah blah" and we work in hospitals. As a matter of a fact, my wife helps deliver babies now and takes care of them until their discharge, and they blow it off like we just have pretend jobs.

It's bothering my wife bad too, but she says it's her family and she still wants a relationship with them, but she's slacking down on talking to them, but if she goes more than 3 days without talking to them they call the house and yell at her accusing her of not caring about them, being a failure at life, etc.

Sounds like there's a lot of BSC in that family. They're doing a great job of alienating themselves from her and your child. What is it that her dad does for a living that makes him think he can be so condescending to you and her?

 

[kingk0ng]

piece of mind, its your family you guys can decide how you want it to work. If he beat his ex-wife and is a nut job along with the rest of the family, the situation will eventually escalate. You have a kid am I correct?

Yeah we have a son that is still an infant, but they won't let my wife talk about him. They claim they are too sick to come see him, but yet her other grandma that they despise had a stroke last year and still comes to see him. They hate her moms side of the family, but her moms mom comes to see him at least once a month and she just had a stroke, but they claim the other one is too sick to come and there's basically nothing wrong with her. It's kind of like spitting in the face of people who are actually ill.

 

[rugger48]

Yeah we have a son that is still an infant, but they won't let my wife talk about him. They claim they are too sick to come see him, but yet her other grandma that they despise had a stroke last year and still comes to see him. They hate her moms side of the family, but her moms mom comes to see him at least once a month and she just had a stroke, but they claim the other one is too sick to come and there's basically nothing wrong with her. It's kind of like spitting in the face of people who are actually ill.

I would basically ask your wife to cut all ties to them.

 

[kingk0ng]

Sounds like there's a lot of BSC in that family. They're doing a great job of alienating themselves from her and your child. What is it that her dad does for a living that makes him think he can be so condescending to you and her?

He works on an oil rig. Like 3 years ago he told us he made $73,000 a year, but now he moved up to some type of supervisor he now says he makes almost $200,000 a year. He says his hourly pay is $57.95 but he lives with his mom and dad, has no bills and he really doesn't buy much stuff at all. I haven't heard anyone nearly triple their salary in 2 years by just making a promotion. Even if it's true though that's cool I'm happy for him, but I remember hearing him yell in the background on the phone one day "ain't no d*** nurse makes no $35 an hour, all the nurses I've talked to makes $21 at the most" and the idiot is talking about LPN's and not RN's especially an RN with a BSN.

By the way, he also puts me down for being in the Marines. His brother was in the Army, and he acts like the Army is so much better than the USMC and acts like I didn't do any fighting, my training was a joke, etc. just anything he can find to put me down.

Edit: She went about 5 months before without talking to him. After about a month of them not talking, he "moved" near us in Tennessee. He claimed it was because that's the state he works in, but he's worked in in Tennessee for years and never moved there before, and we heard from my wife's cousin that he was asking around about what apartment complex we live in.

 

[kokobeware2]

Kong I hope you wife is a smoke show for dealing with all her family's crap. Props to you man.
Don't let that POS get to you. He's obviously jealous man. He can't afford all this stuff you just bought so he's insecure now. He wants to be the one providing for his daughter now that he got a "promotion". He's pissed he can't get tht stuff for his daughter or he's mad cuz he can't buy her those things first. How long have you been married? I think it's time you have a man to man Convo with him and ask him why he acts the way he does. There is no need for that crap. One time I dated a girl and the old man told me he has a bat with all her ex bfs names on it. I told him "thats nice but my 30 aut 6 with your name etched into the bullet will do more damage" although I was a piss pot 18 year old he never gave me sh1t again.

And with the grandma. Just hope she croaks. If you can, next time she pulls her sh1t, get a doctor at your hospital to do tests on her and be straight up with her family. Have him show the family the blood work. Bloodwork doesn't lie, well, sometimes it can be inaccurate but that's besides the point.

The family is jealous you are better to her than they are. Good luck boss

 

[kingk0ng]

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[smohk]

How was life for those 5 months?

 

[kokobeware2]

Thanks man. She really is a beautiful girl. I'm kind of seeing things the same way you are. When she lived with him, he bought her a Mustang, but it was a used one that we think was wrecked. She said on the carlot, she asked for a different color and her dad immediately said no because he didn't want to buy any other color, but she said she found out later on that it was because the rest of them were full price. She said that when he would get mad at her, he'd say "you can't make it on your own, you need me, your car costed $51,000 and your payment is $1,100 a month, so if you can pay that on your own go for it". And she said that he always told her she'd be a failure at life like her mom was, would hit her, etc.

When my wife tries to mention something about me, her family blows it off. When she mentions anything she does at work, they blow it off and act like it's not a big deal. Her family basically puts us down the entire time they are on the phone with her and builds up her cousin who hasn't worked in 3 years, doesn't make her kid mind, all because she is one of the ones that goes along with the pretend illnesses her grandmother claims to have.

I've tried. He won't look me in the eye when he's around, he leaves the room when I come around, and all he does is catch me gone and call and yell and scream at my wife while I'm gone.

We did. Her grandma was faking hallucinations one time and we ran a brain scan on her and hadn't given her any medication. The Doctor told my wife's aunt and her dad "it seems like she's just wanting attention. We haven't given her anything and there's nothing wrong with her brain." They cussed the Doctor and got her out of the hospital and won't bring her back now. The Doctor said he ran an EKG on her and her heart was fine. She doesn't ever have "Doctors appointments" and you would think that someone with all the illnesses she claims to have would go to them. I was standing right there when the Doctor told her family, and he also told me personally to tell my wife not to worry about her, because she's fine.

Yeah, that's another thing. They always told her she'd never go anywhere with life, and she's already accomplished more than they have.

Man they are just pissed you are the provider now. That's all. They are definitely old school because if they are still against dudes being nurses or still give us crap for it, that isn't cool. Now the only solution is to take a swing at the dad. But seriously, try telling the dad, do you got a problem with me? And mention how he walks out of the room and all that crap. Call him out

 

[mich29]

cut'em off. if they aren't providing anything tangible to the relationship there is no reason to have one at all.you don't want your kids having to grown up and see that type of dysfunctional behavior and think its ok

 

[kingk0ng]

You guys are all right about this. I'm just going to avoid them from now on. When her aunt who thinks she's a Doctor comes up to our house, I'm just going to leave the room and go do something else and not talk to her. When she talks to her family, I'll just leave the area. If she insists on still talking to them, then that's all her. I on the other hand don't have to.

 

[youngandfree]

It is real simple. Change your phone numbers, or block all of theirs you don't want to talk to. The bible says when you marry, you LEAVE your mother and father and CLEAVE to your wife or husband. You are now number 1. If she is miserable dealing with them, then she should realize it is too toxic and detrimental to her family, you and your child. No one should have to put up with crap like that from anyone, especially your family. Being a relative doesn't give you a free pass to be a jerk and put down other family members. 30-40 miles is far enough away you shouldn't have to run into them just because. If they want to see or talk to your wife, they can get in the car and make an effort. For the family members that still do keep in touch and visit, don't shut them out. But let them know you aren't going to deal with the others. Just like the others said, cut off everyone that doesn't have a GENUINE interest in having a healthy relationship. Your wife is an adult and is committed to you, which should be priority number 1. Your household comes first. Don't call them to talk about things you are excited about, or complain to them about other things. One main rule in my household is our problems stay in house, or go to close godly counsel. Not to our parents. Period.

 

[kingk0ng]

.....

 

[T-Bone]

This sounds familiar to me. Not exactly the same situation but related.

 

[mitch109]

**** em. My wife's family are dicks too. I have nothing to do with their fake asses if I can help it. She has two sisters and a brother and her parents treat them like gold but to them my wife is a dissappointment. When our first son was born we weren't together because those preganancy hormones made her a raging bitch to me and she admits that for some reason she hated me when she was pregannt with Sawyer. Her parents tricked her into going to an attorney and brow beat and harrassed her to sending me papers to sign over my rightst so they could have him adopted by her cousin (who was the doctor at her birth). Now there thing is they are starting **** about me taking a civialian deployment and having a "vacation" away from my wife and 4 kids. They say **** on the phone about how they hope our marriage wont fall apart with me gone and they hope I dont cheat on her while I am gone. i think a huge part of it now is just jealousy and she didnt marry a pastor like her sister and her brother is a deacon. OP its jealousy on their part. I make a good living ( I aint rich but I support a family of 6) and we dont ask them for nothing. They take the other brothers and sisters on vacation and probably pay for most of it. Do what I do. Rub it in their face that you can take care of your family. When I got moved to Ft Bragg I took all our friends and her family to a Brazilian steakhouse and paid the bill. They want her to move back to GA while I am gone so they can support her. Really?? You drove by our house every other weekend to go see her sister in the next town over and never stopped. Only reason we knew you were down here was her sister said they were at the house. Oh yea, weren't you teh same fmaily that was going to help her find a shelter because she was unemployed and 8 montsh pregnant. face it OP inlaws suck and live your life for you and your family. You and your wife's happiness is the best revenge and their words dont mean ****. Sorry to rast and hijack but reading your story got me into beast vent mode. Good luck bro.

 

[demolition]

Off topic you referred to yourself as an "ex marine" there is no such thing you know that, you are a former marine, as am I.

 

[kokobeware2]

Kong how is this working out for you? Did you lay the dad out yet?

 

[kingk0ng]

Off topic you referred to yourself as an "ex marine" there is no such thing you know that, you are a former marine, as am I.

You're totally correct, it's former marine. I wasn't thinking when I typed that post. Solute to you for being in the USMC yourself.

**** em. My wife's family are dicks too. I have nothing to do with their fake asses if I can help it. She has two sisters and a brother and her parents treat them like gold but to them my wife is a dissappointment. When our first son was born we weren't together because those preganancy hormones made her a raging bitch to me and she admits that for some reason she hated me when she was pregannt with Sawyer. Her parents tricked her into going to an attorney and brow beat and harrassed her to sending me papers to sign over my rightst so they could have him adopted by her cousin (who was the doctor at her birth). Now there thing is they are starting **** about me taking a civialian deployment and having a "vacation" away from my wife and 4 kids. They say **** on the phone about how they hope our marriage wont fall apart with me gone and they hope I dont cheat on her while I am gone. i think a huge part of it now is just jealousy and she didnt marry a pastor like her sister and her brother is a deacon. OP its jealousy on their part. I make a good living ( I aint rich but I support a family of 6) and we dont ask them for nothing. They take the other brothers and sisters on vacation and probably pay for most of it. Do what I do. Rub it in their face that you can take care of your family. When I got moved to Ft Bragg I took all our friends and her family to a Brazilian steakhouse and paid the bill. They want her to move back to GA while I am gone so they can support her. Really?? You drove by our house every other weekend to go see her sister in the next town over and never stopped. Only reason we knew you were down here was her sister said they were at the house. Oh yea, weren't you teh same fmaily that was going to help her find a shelter because she was unemployed and 8 montsh pregnant. face it OP inlaws suck and live your life for you and your family. You and your wife's happiness is the best revenge and their words dont mean ****. Sorry to rast and hijack but reading your story got me into beast vent mode. Good luck bro.

Your situation is very similar to mine. My wife has a cousin that acts mentally retarded and thinks it's cute. She claims it's "ditzy" but I'm sorry it's not ditzy it's just plain mentally imcompotent. It's the same cousin that likes to talk about my wife's ex so much. Well, my wife's family considers that cousin of hers nothing but gold and thinks my wife is a disappointment. My wife is a nurse, she makes good money, takes good care of our son, is in great shape. Want to know about her cousin? Her cousin is overweight, hasn't had a job in 2 years, lets her kid do whatever it wants and stays home while her husband works. Her husband is also a controlling knitwit.

To beat it all, my wife's dad has never one time in the 8 months my son has been around called to check on him, has came to visit him once (and that was only because he was picking my wife's sister up), has never held him, has never bought him anything, never even questioned to ask about how he was. Our son was admitted in the hospital and sent to a specialist about a month ago because they were afraid he may have respiratory disease, guess who never showed up? NONE of her family. Guess who never called? NONE of her family. When I called to tell my wife's family our son was being admitted and tested for illnesses and was on IV's, they said "well James is asleep and when he wakes up, we will tell him". On his fxcking off day they didn't have the decensy to wake him up to tell him his only grandson was being admitted in the hospital.

Anyway, to answer the response above ^. Yes, I confronted them about it...I'll make another post shortly given all the information. It's a long story, but I'll fill you guys in. Thanks for keeping up with the thread. Sometimes the internet is the only secure place to vent.

 

[kokobeware2]

You're totally correct, it's former marine. I wasn't thinking when I typed that post. Solute to you for being in the USMC yourself.

Your situation is very similar to mine. My wife has a cousin that acts mentally retarded and thinks it's cute. She claims it's "ditzy" but I'm sorry it's not ditzy it's just plain mentally imcompotent. It's the same cousin that likes to talk about my wife's ex so much. Well, my wife's family considers that cousin of hers nothing but gold and thinks my wife is a disappointment. My wife is a nurse, she makes good money, takes good care of our son, is in great shape. Want to know about her cousin? Her cousin is overweight, hasn't had a job in 2 years, lets her kid do whatever it wants and stays home while her husband works. Her husband is also a controlling knitwit.

To beat it all, my wife's dad has never one time in the 8 months my son has been around called to check on him, has came to visit him once (and that was only because he was picking my wife's sister up), has never held him, has never bought him anything, never even questioned to ask about how he was. Our son was admitted in the hospital and sent to a specialist about a month ago because they were afraid he may have respiratory disease, guess who never showed up? NONE of her family. Guess who never called? NONE of her family. When I called to tell my wife's family our son was being admitted and tested for illnesses and was on IV's, they said "well James is asleep and when he wakes up, we will tell him". On his fxcking off day they didn't have the decensy to wake him up to tell him his only grandson was being admitted in the hospital.

Anyway, to answer the response above ^. Yes, I confronted them about it...I'll make another post shortly given all the information. It's a long story, but I'll fill you guys in. Thanks for keeping up with the thread. Sometimes the internet is the only secure place to vent.

Kong delete some of your inbox so I can respond back to you lol