First off, let me draw you all in with a tale of friendship turned foul.
A good friend of mine ran out on his lease where he was living back in July. We got along great all the time, had lots of fun together, everything was good, so I thought hey what the hell, I could use a roommate. This way, we both get to save money and eventually I can buy a house. So he moved into the spare room. And with him came more crap than I've ever seen anyone ever needing in their entire life, as well as his dog.
This friend of mine is not the bodybuilding type like I am. In fact, he is the exact opposite, he is the button mashing, beer drinking, couch warrior type. I'm not exactly sure why we clicked so well but we just did. The first month went great, we hung out a lot, ate wings, talked about boobs, caught some sports on tv, tossed a few back every now and then, typical guy stuff. Then for some reason he just turned into Animal House! Here I was with a nice mostly clean spacious apartment, free to do whatever I please, and now suddenly I feel I would rather hide in my room or spend as little time as possible at home than be around him. He always manages to get me his half of the rent (if that) two weeks late, he lets his friends crash on my couch, watches my $1500 55" LED tv nonstop, plays my Xbox, browses porn on his laptop with my internet that I pay for, etc etc, and leaves dirty dishes, empty bottles, clothes, random SH!T all over the place, never contributes to anything at all basically, and is completely oblivious to the fact that I have a job which requires me to get sleep. I rarely get 6 hours of sleep with him here because he feels the need to talk loudly to whom ever, laugh HYSTERICALLy and loudly at 2 am to Family Guy repeats, leave every f#cking light in the apartment on, and basically just make me think there's weird sh!t going on all the time. He only has people over if he knows I'm going to either A) already be in bed when they get there or B) be gone for the night. He is not the type to bag a decent looking chick, and I feel like he is getting skank all over my apartment, and doing weird things when I'm gone. His friends look through all my supplements all the freaking time. He peeks into my room when I'm hanging out with my girlfriend. He is probably the most immature 27 year old I've ever met, and his current best bud is 20 years old and uses him to get booze.
On top of all of this, he just recently got his car repossessed because he spent all his money (rent included) on multiple concerts with girls way out of his league, meaning he now has to hike half a mile (not freaking bad at all, right?) to work. So now of course he is twice as lazy as he was before, cuz that combined total of half an hour of walking is just so draining? After my half hour drive to work, 12 hours of manual labor, hour gym session, and half hour drive back home, leaving me just enough time to make dinner and choose between either kicking back for a few minutes or cleaning, I still have the energy to do something with the place, where with him, after his 8 hour shift he only has enough energy to drink beer and play video games all night while waking me up at least once, while neglecting his dog which I will end up taking out in the morning for fear of it making a mess all over my carpet.
Why does he do this to ME, big tall muscular scary dude with known anger issues and multiple witnessed full blown andro-rages, some leading to self hospitalization lol...yet he never dared to even leave a crumb on the ground longer than ten minutes when he lived with his last roommate, who was much smaller and just screamed pushover?
The point I'm trying to make here is yeah this guy SUCKS to live with but he used to be my close friend and I am trying to find a way to go about asking him/telling him to leave. If he does move out, I doubt he will have good enough credit for his own place, let alone the bankroll to pay for it, but he will also probably lose his job seeing how he doesn't have transportation.
I want him out within a month. My relationship with my beautiful awesome girlfriend can't take this much longer, and she would like to move in, but not if he's here. There are no compromises to be made, I want him out regardless of any changes he could promise to make.
How should I go about getting rid of him? Should I sit down and talk to him and tell him I want to live alone with my girlfriend? Should I have her there with me when I do this? What the hell do I do?????? I'm going to go INSANE if I have to live with him much longer.
Also, just to make this clear, he is not on the lease, only I am.