Want my roommate OUT! Advice please?
- 10-20-2011, 11:20 PM
Want my roommate OUT! Advice please?
First off, let me draw you all in with a tale of friendship turned foul.
A good friend of mine ran out on his lease where he was living back in July. We got along great all the time, had lots of fun together, everything was good, so I thought hey what the hell, I could use a roommate. This way, we both get to save money and eventually I can buy a house. So he moved into the spare room. And with him came more crap than I've ever seen anyone ever needing in their entire life, as well as his dog.
This friend of mine is not the bodybuilding type like I am. In fact, he is the exact opposite, he is the button mashing, beer drinking, couch warrior type. I'm not exactly sure why we clicked so well but we just did. The first month went great, we hung out a lot, ate wings, talked about boobs, caught some sports on tv, tossed a few back every now and then, typical guy stuff. Then for some reason he just turned into Animal House! Here I was with a nice mostly clean spacious apartment, free to do whatever I please, and now suddenly I feel I would rather hide in my room or spend as little time as possible at home than be around him. He always manages to get me his half of the rent (if that) two weeks late, he lets his friends crash on my couch, watches my $1500 55" LED tv nonstop, plays my Xbox, browses porn on his laptop with my internet that I pay for, etc etc, and leaves dirty dishes, empty bottles, clothes, random SH!T all over the place, never contributes to anything at all basically, and is completely oblivious to the fact that I have a job which requires me to get sleep. I rarely get 6 hours of sleep with him here because he feels the need to talk loudly to whom ever, laugh HYSTERICALLy and loudly at 2 am to Family Guy repeats, leave every f#cking light in the apartment on, and basically just make me think there's weird sh!t going on all the time. He only has people over if he knows I'm going to either A) already be in bed when they get there or B) be gone for the night. He is not the type to bag a decent looking chick, and I feel like he is getting skank all over my apartment, and doing weird things when I'm gone. His friends look through all my supplements all the freaking time. He peeks into my room when I'm hanging out with my girlfriend. He is probably the most immature 27 year old I've ever met, and his current best bud is 20 years old and uses him to get booze.
On top of all of this, he just recently got his car repossessed because he spent all his money (rent included) on multiple concerts with girls way out of his league, meaning he now has to hike half a mile (not freaking bad at all, right?) to work. So now of course he is twice as lazy as he was before, cuz that combined total of half an hour of walking is just so draining? After my half hour drive to work, 12 hours of manual labor, hour gym session, and half hour drive back home, leaving me just enough time to make dinner and choose between either kicking back for a few minutes or cleaning, I still have the energy to do something with the place, where with him, after his 8 hour shift he only has enough energy to drink beer and play video games all night while waking me up at least once, while neglecting his dog which I will end up taking out in the morning for fear of it making a mess all over my carpet.
Why does he do this to ME, big tall muscular scary dude with known anger issues and multiple witnessed full blown andro-rages, some leading to self hospitalization lol...yet he never dared to even leave a crumb on the ground longer than ten minutes when he lived with his last roommate, who was much smaller and just screamed pushover?
The point I'm trying to make here is yeah this guy SUCKS to live with but he used to be my close friend and I am trying to find a way to go about asking him/telling him to leave. If he does move out, I doubt he will have good enough credit for his own place, let alone the bankroll to pay for it, but he will also probably lose his job seeing how he doesn't have transportation.
I want him out within a month. My relationship with my beautiful awesome girlfriend can't take this much longer, and she would like to move in, but not if he's here. There are no compromises to be made, I want him out regardless of any changes he could promise to make.
How should I go about getting rid of him? Should I sit down and talk to him and tell him I want to live alone with my girlfriend? Should I have her there with me when I do this? What the hell do I do?????? I'm going to go INSANE if I have to live with him much longer.
Also, just to make this clear, he is not on the lease, only I am.Use code "fl3x10" to get a free shirt with your purchase at Mind and Muscle
- 10-20-2011, 11:34 PM
Pull the the are getting serious with your gf and she's going to move in and there is no "guy on the couch" in that picture.
10-20-2011, 11:38 PM
10-20-2011, 11:43 PM
Find a new apartment, move all your stuff there a day when he is not around and lock up. Of course notify the landlord you are leaving, just don't tell the guy. Or just tell him to get out.
10-20-2011, 11:47 PM
Just tell him straight out that he has to 1, contribute to keeping the house clean, 2, pay for some of the internet/other bills, 3, no friends after what ever time u think is appropriate. And if he doesnt like it let him know hes over stayed his welcome and he can find a new place.
10-20-2011, 11:48 PM
Call the police on "an intruder"
lol But seriously. Just tell him that girlfriend is moving in and she wants to set up the apartment right because you guys are thinking of having a baby. Of course, you can hold on to the baby part, but just make sure you can handle the lie until you actually do have a child together..... if it is that serious...?
10-21-2011, 12:52 AM
I think its a simple as saying...
"hey bro, can I talk to you for a second I'm on my way out but... I know the situation was ideal when you first moved in, you needed a place and I benefited a financial relief by having a roommate but my girlfriend and I are progressing in such a way that we would like to have our own place together. I appreciate that you'd respect this fact regardless but here is a 30 day notice (hand him a printed paper saying 30 day notice of termination of verbal agreement for tenancy with the exact date on it and the date to be out, have him sign it right there so he's "committing to the action") I need you to vacate all your belongings by noon this day, that may mean you need to start moving stuff a couple days ahead even. I appreciate this may place a burden on you but that's why I'm allowing you 30 days to establish a new living situation but my terms are absolute and I will be in the process of moving her stuff in the very same day so please be expeditious in your move so we have the necessary room. I hope you realize this isn't personal (even though it obviously is) and we can still interact socially but my girlfriend, being a woman, needs certain liberties in her own home and that's just not possible for us with others living here. Thanks again I've got to get to work/sleep/gym etc." (take signed paper with you leave him a copy, better yet have him sign both so he can stare at his own sig after)
I'm a salesman by trait, talking people into things is my forte.
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10-21-2011, 01:26 AM
Blame it on your chic, god knows she'll return the favor in the near future
All joking aside, previous post was pretty good
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10-21-2011, 02:06 AM
Just reading everything pisses me off how much your getting **** on, if it was me he would have been out the first week lol. I say tell him straight up your done taking his crap, your sick of it and want your girlfriend to move in and he has to find a place and your nice enough to give him 24 hours to gtfo lol
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10-21-2011, 02:13 AM
thats much more clear cut!!! prob what id wind up saying in the heat of stepping in one of his left on the ground cereal dishes and wish I said the other response later (hasnt ever happened to me before )... results are still the same..
10-21-2011, 01:04 PM
It's not that hard man. Any friend would understand that(unless he was milking you). Just tell him somethings have changed, your girlfriend is moving in and that you need the place alone. Any guy friend would completely understand that.
~ Nothing can kill the Grimace!!
10-21-2011, 01:18 PM
You guys have all had some great (and funny) suggestions. I'm going to put them all together and see what I come up with.
The other question is, if anyone has experienced moving out or kicking a roommate out before, should I have my girl there with me when I talk to him? Unless I pull the salesman pitch approach like suggested and just drop it all on him on my way out the door lol.
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10-21-2011, 01:27 PM
Grab him by the back band of his underwear and give him a super-wedgy! Drag his ass out the front door and toss him to the curb yo! Dude, I had a similar problem about 10 years ago when my best friend got kicked out and needed a place to stay. I used to be a neat freak and this dude was a slob! After 2 weeks, I was about to kick his ass but decided to be nice and sat him down. I laid down MY rules because it was MY place and I was helping him out. He totally understood and quite frankly, didn't even realize what he was doing was bad because he was never independant up till that point. Anyways, long story short is that we ended up living together for 3 years, partied together, hung out all the time, and till this day, we're still best friends.
10-21-2011, 01:33 PM
Yeah I'm kinda thinking he might not realize he's doing it even, you might be right there. But still I think this experience has made me realize that I don't think I could ever have a guy roommate again lol. I am somewhat territorial and I think it's showing.Originally Posted by kanakafarian
I wouldn't mind to continue partying with him down the road but after I get him out I think I need at least a month long break from him haha.
Funny thing I did last night. When I got home from work I noticed he had left my tv on before he left for work, so it had sat there with a glowing blue feedback screen for around 6 hours. This made me irate and I texted him saying DUDE you left my tv on! No response, so before I went to bed I hid the remotes. No tv for you! Lol
Kanaka I still gotta email u back! Don't think I'm ignoring you. I just don't want to get in trouble at work
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10-21-2011, 02:25 PM
i honestly think you should do it (han) Solo... it will seem much more direct, especially if your tone is serious and absolute, I think having the lil lady there will just be a crutch, leave you open to not fully controlling the situation (he can redirect to her and you not have the best opportunity to combat any rebuttals) and also make him feel ganged up on and likely to get more defensive then acquiesce to your terms...
personally I regret every business transaction i perform with my fiance there, shes strong willed, which i like, except in situations where i want to have full control of the conversation and the ability to return fire without her piping up and accidentally contridicting the tone i want to convey... might be just me but its something that you should just handle as the man too, not callin you girly or a purse holder or anything LOL.
10-21-2011, 04:14 PM
If your really getting serious with your girl tell them that. Give him 6wks to get out of your place. If your not really moving in with your GF than just tell him things have to change. let him know what he needs to do.
Make sure you start up with saying you took him in when he didnt really have anywhere else to go. Did him a huge favor, etc.
10-21-2011, 05:10 PM
Had kinda the same situation happen to me. He was one of those guys that use baby powder on his junk. Once when I got really pissed, I went and bought a really cheap blender. Got some fiberglass insulation and powdered it up in the blender. I then put the powdered fiberglass in his baby powder. Did it ever make me laugh to see him in such pain after he used mixture? YOU BETCHA!!! I also got pissed another time and picked him up and threw him off my 9' high front porch. He moved out the next day. Yeah, I used to have a bad temper.
I would say to talk rationally to him before it gets to where it got for me. If he won't listen, put your size 12 in the crack of his a$$. I wouldn't give him too long, maybe only a couple weeks, to get out. Otherwise he might try to linger a long time. Some guys you just gotta put your foot down (and HARD) for them to get the point.
10-21-2011, 05:16 PM
You could also just make him WANT to move out by walking around naked all the time. Lol!
10-21-2011, 08:34 PM
10-22-2011, 08:51 AM
10-23-2011, 06:12 AM
I'm not too sure about the direct approach guys. I remember affording this courtesy to flat-mates back in my uni days and all I ever got was "yeah, you 're right, it will never happen again" bull and then the very same weekend, things would be just as bad if not even worse.
If you do confront him, keep in mind that eh might be resentful and start to purposefully try and sabotage your day.
I'd go with the "gf wants to move in" suggestion. That way there's no confrontation and when he moves out you could still end up staying pals and hanging out at.
I find that if you have to sit someone down and explain these so basic and fundamental rules of sharing and respecting someone else's space, then it's very unlikely the offending party will oblige you.
I honestly believe that having respect for others is a behaviour that is learned very early on in life and not something you ca be conditioned to do very easily after a certain age. Especially not as old as 27!
Either way mate, good luck, and let us know how it turns out.
10-23-2011, 06:33 AM
If he wants to move out himself then there will be no bad blood towards you.
"Hey man, my girlfriend is moving in soon. The three of us can finally be in an official relationship, I can't wait, I have been waiting so long".
Then hold your gaze at him and lick your lips.
10-24-2011, 07:17 PM
Just tell that guy he's gotta change. He might be pretty upset but it's definitely better in the future.
10-24-2011, 07:35 PM
Athletic Xtreme Rep
10-24-2011, 08:58 PM
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