Stripper Stories

[Tomahawk88]

Alright Im sure all of here have atleast one stripper story.

 

[kanakafarian]

I've seen one shooting ping pong balls across the stage out of her thingy! I kid you not! lol

 

[StangBanger]

they used to have cooter ball at cheetah's here... yeah cooter ball..

crumble up your bill and hit her in the cooter with it.... winner got a dance.

 

[Tomahawk88]

Lol I want to thank CM for giving me this idea.

 

[chocolatemilk]

lol just saw this...

Well, I've had friends get paddled on stage, get atomic wedgies where their underwear is literally on their head, and of course, the ping pong balls!!!! lololol

We used to love going when we were under age... I can't say that I've gone once since being of age.

 

[Tomahawk88]

Man I have only gone to the run truck stop place strip clubs lol. As you can imagine my experience with strippers has been less than pleasant lol. Probably seen the nastiest looking females(excluding Wal-Mart because lets be honest that just isnt fair) in my life at the strip club. I went with some friends for a bachelor party and I was the sober DD. They were like flies on shit. One kept asking if I wanted a lap dance so I finally said "I dont have any money." They got me some space lol.

 

[lukehayd]

Back when I was in my twenties and doing things like that, we went to this skank fest called a strip club. The nastiest thing I ever saw was there! It was an overweight gutter whore that had just had a baby and was doing the "shower scene"! I about puked (not from being intoxicated but thankful I was) when she bent over and rubbed it against the glass! Looked like road kill that had been there for a while on a hot summer's day (probably smelt like it too!) UGHHHHH!

 

[Oldnsweaty]

I've only been to a stripper club one time and it'll be the last time. I went with a buddy of mine who was celebrating getting a big bonus where he worked (he decided to blow all 6k at the strip joint but I was able to stop him when the following happened).

After an hour and $500 later, I was trying to get him to leave but he said he wasn't going anywhere until he bought me a lap dance. He waved the biggest, fattest, hairiest dancer over to us and paid her to give me a dance. The music was thumping so loud that I couldn't hear him shouting and laughing at all. She stuck her huge, pimple covered ass up in my face and although I could not hear it, I smelled it. I swear to God she cut a fart on my face! Jumping to my feet, knocking her and my chair over I yelled "LET'S GO FRANK!!" Grabbed my buddy as bouncers surrounded us and drug him to the door. Even the bouncers smelled her air biscuit and let us go without any problems.

 

[Tomahawk88]

Now this would just be crazy and I would RUN if I saw this getting set up.

 

[StangBanger]

I've only been to a stripper club one time and it'll be the last time. I went with a buddy of mine who was celebrating getting a big bonus where he worked (he decided to blow all 6k at the strip joint but I was able to stop him when the following happened).

After an hour and $500 later, I was trying to get him to leave but he said he wasn't going anywhere until he bought me a lap dance. He waved the biggest, fattest, hairiest dancer over to us and paid her to give me a dance. The music was thumping so loud that I couldn't hear him shouting and laughing at all. She stuck her huge, pimple covered ass up in my face and although I could not hear it, I smelled it. I swear to God she cut a fart on my face! Jumping to my feet, knocking her and my chair over I yelled "LET'S GO FRANK!!" Grabbed my buddy as bouncers surrounded us and drug him to the door. Even the bouncers smelled her air biscuit and let us go without any problems.

Whoa.... :jaw:

 

[prld2gr8ns]

Now this would just be crazy and I would RUN if I saw this getting set up.

LOL, man that was funny. So many hidden talents the body has....

 

[T-AD]

LOL, man that was funny. So many hidden talents the body has....

I don't necessarily know if that's a talent. I'm pretty sure I could manage the same thing after a night of drinking crappy beer. (pun intended...maybe...)

 

[2k1s]

A girl I was seeing ended up being a stripper. I met her at one of my classes, started hanging out. I asked her to go out one night and she said no I'm working. I replied, what are you a stripper? She was. It was cool until her ghetto pimp started hitting me up for money. I made the girl pay for my meals using one dollar bills. Never actually been to a club.

 

[prld2gr8ns]

I don't necessarily know if that's a talent. I'm pretty sure I could manage the same thing after a night of drinking crappy beer. (pun intended...maybe...)

and you just know it would be waaaaaay sexier too.

 

[T-AD]

A girl I was seeing ended up being a stripper. I met her at one of my classes, started hanging out. I asked her to go out one night and she said no I'm working. I replied, what are you a stripper? She was. It was cool until her ghetto pimp started hitting me up for money. I made the girl pay for my meals using one dollar bills. Never actually been to a club.

I'm thinking that if she had a pimp, she was more than just a stripper, man....

 

[2k1s]

worked house parties. there wasn't a club within 100 miles of where I initially went to college.

 

[sapentia]

Back in the day I went to a strip club just for the hell of it. This wasn't the skank type club as mentioned in some of the above posts but a relatively nice club with fairly attractive girls. Well, there was this chick in her 30s, sort of looked like Catherine Zeta Jones, who used to strip in NYC who I chatted with a bit. She mentioned the stuff at the club I was at was nothing compared to what she used to do; she didn't elaborate and I didn't ask as I didn't really care. To tell the truth she had small breasts and since this was my first strip club experience I wanted something a bit more substantial so I wasn't that into her. Well, this particular club didn't have an elevated stage so you could walk up to where the public stripper was doing her thing and give her a tip or whatever. So later on this chick gets up there as its her turn to dance. After a bit I walk up in front of her to give her a tip, nothing big mind you. She comes up close and sort of glides her hands down the side of my body and then squats down and starts running her hands up the insides of my thighs (I had on khakis) in order to harness my junk so to speak. She then proceeds to place her mouth over said collected junk through my pants. To tell you the truth it took me back so much I stumbled backwards which f@cked it up and ended the moment. Her hotness scale went way up after that though.

Aside from that though the whole strip club thing just didn't do it for me. Felt way to contrived and just didn't get my blood pumping. In all honesty it sort of bored me with the exception of the above.

 

[Tomahawk88]

Ya this thread is just basically random stripper stories. Either good or bad. Just something entertaining is all I ask. So far so good :lol:

 

[CoorsLight126]

I used to have the best luck with strippers

story #1- approached stripper in club and asked her if her name was "Sara" because I got confused and thought she might have been someone else. Ended up getting a dance and giving her my #. Fast forward, its 4am and my phone rings, she wants me to come over to the hotel. Tired as hell, but something I had to do, drove there. I walk in the room and think "**** this" some other guy was laying in bed with her friend sleeping. I'm thinking "great, now WTF" dude gets up to leave at 5:30 to go to work, as soon as the door shut that **** was on, bang her into oblivion, her friend who "claimed to be asleep the entire time" rolled over facing our bed. I know she was peaking. The chick I'm nailing screams out "Tonya if your hearing this I'm really sorry!!" You know those times you wish you could go back and do things differently? This was one of them, I would have went straight to the next bed and said "Wake your ass up, your getting it too!!"

Story #2- girl named Wendy, I'm getting a lap dance and she starts talking about "I'm sick of guys only wanting sex" I respond back, "yea I'm one of those guys, I'd luv to nail ya sometime" I think my response was so forward and out of left field she got off on it, she gives me her # and I call the next day and I **** you guys not here is how my voice mail went "Hey, this is "Coors" from the club last night, ahhhhh....just wanna know if you'd like to come by my apartment and f**k!!" girl calls me back, absolutely gets off on that message and comes over. Gets to my place and tells me "yea I played that message for my friend and she got all jelous and said "See, now why can't I find a guy like that!!" bang her ass into oblivion, girl leaves and left her slutty little outfit on my bedroom floor.

 

[CoorsLight126]

story #3- met this chick at club, got a lap dance. Started talking, grabbing on her, we exchange #'s. This was a Fri, the following tues this chick drives an hr to my place. Girl tells me on the phone when we spoke earlier that day "I'm just at Victorias Secret, buying something hot to wear for you" JACKPOT!! This chick was HHOOOTTT, I got off twice before she came over, I had to or I wasnt gonna last 2 min with this girl. I cook this chicken parmesan for dinner, we get to messing around in the kitchen, the ****ing sauce is exploding all over b/ I practically forget about the stove, kitchens a damn mess!! Starts on the couch, goes to the bedroom. Now it gets interesting...this chick is loud man, I mean real loud. And nasty, wants me to talk to her. I'm banging her and she says "C'mon talk to me" I was never good at this ****, but in the heat of the moment this is what I say..."Yea, you've been a bad little slut havent you? And you know what bad little sluts get when they come over to apartment 214B dont ya?" This chick screams out "Your big ****ing ****!!" hahahhaha This chick was off the chain, she liked to be slapped around and choked and ****, and I dug it bros, honestly. As God as my witness, I went 5x throughout the night with this girl, and thats on top of the 2x I got off beforehand. My pecker was so sore the next day I thought it was gonna fall off. I got it a couple more times after that, but the chick was a head case. She just ended a 7 yr relationship and was all mentally screwed. But to this day, best **** I've ever had, and I've been with prolly 80 women or so

 

[CoorsLight126]

story #4- prostitute

I nailed a hooker one time, call girl, whatever they are called. I met this chick on a phone dating line. I was 21 yrs old, and going through a 6 month long dry spell with no ass. Stupidly, I drive 90 minutes to where this bitch was located at 11:00 at night. Oh yeah, I stopped at a gas station and bought some teens standing outside some Schlitz malt liquor too, on the way there. Now, this chick wasnt asking for $$, she just tells me she is a call girl on the phone to be honest with me b4 I go there. Now I'm in the elvator going to the 3rd floor, I'm sweating bullets. I dont know what will come to the door when i get there. knock knock, door opens. Body was ok looking, face was terrible!! She looked like one of those chicks who wasn't a seasoned whore, like she still had time to turn it around if she wanted to, but still looked like ur typical hooker. So I get in the room and she looks at me and is like "damn, ur hot as ****!!" Well, WTF I thought, I'm here anyways... Now, this is where it gets ****ed up. I at least wanna screw her, but I dont wanna kiss her. So I start massaging this nasty whores back, she turns around to me and says "Whats the matter, you dont wanna kiss me?" So I close my eyes and kiss this nasty, meth tooth looking hooker. It didnt last long though, I try sucking her breasts, which looked like they were so played with and wrinkled she had nursed ****ing puppies, I then throw the rubber on and get to it. Man, I was falling in!! No friction what so frikken ever!! And then throughout the midst of this god awful experience, this random hooker screams out MY NAME!! Let me tell you what, when a hooker screams out your name its pretty disturbing. I couldnt finish, screw it I thought. I went and jumped in the shower, although it should have been a kerosene bath. Then I'm laying there next to her and asking her **** about the hookin' business. "Well, I do anywhere between 8-12 appointments a day" she says. But dont worry, its mostly old men who cant even get it up. "WTF did I just do? I thought to myself. She leaves and says "you can stay here, dont worry the room is paid for" I'm trying to fall asleep and its like 3am, I cannot sleep for ****!! I have all these things going through my head, old men sucking on boobs, a pimp breaking the door down and putting a revolver to my head...and that same line over an dover in my head "I do anywhere between 8-12 appointments a day...I do anywhere between 8-12 appointments a day" So I leave, drive 30 min down the road, almost fall asleep at the wheel, and pull off and pay for another hotel to lseep in for about 4 hrs. Worst damn experience I ever had

 

[chocolatemilk]

nasty lol

 

[StangBanger]

we have a winner "Coorslight"

I cringed just reading that.

 

[chocolatemilk]

You gotta put on your beer goggles during those times bro...

 

[StangBanger]

You gotta put on your beer goggles during those times bro...

not sure beer goggles are strong enough for that story...

 

[Tomahawk88]

Coors has definitely raised the bar lol.

 

[TheChosen1]

I used to date one back in 1998-99. The sex was great, especially since she was 12 years younger than me, but I didn't trust her enough to stay in a relationship with.

 

[methusaleh]

Not exactly a stripper story, but I once dated a smoking hot and very intelligent girl. She was a broke college student at the time. My friend's uncle owned a few strip clubs that he and I frequented. We took her to one for her birthday (she was bi and had never been to a club before) and she was amazed. She looked at me with her eyes popping out of her head, and said, "all I have to do is go up there and take my clothes off and these people will throw money at me?" To which I replied, yes, and she then said, "well bring Tim's uncle over here right now then, and sign me up to work here fulltime!" She ended up being an instant crowd favorite and the only new girl allowed to work Friday and Saturday nights (when the big cash came in). Her goal was to pay off her car and her student loans, and then quit. She did that within just under a year, and stuck with her word and quit the job and never went back. That was 12 years ago, and she's still a friend of mine, and went on to get a Master's in music production and works in NYC for one of the major record labels. Not your stereotypical stripper at all.

 

[Conagher]

Got a $10 blowjob once.Got a lot more crazy stripper stories but they would take too long to tell.

 

[Mr.Sinister]

Place about 30 miles from me called The Rhododendron had for years a one armed stripper. That's actually what we called her, "The one armed stripper". Word was her old man came home and found her in bed with another guy and shot her with a shotgun, but only winged her and took her arm off. Not sure if that is the true story, but she definitely only had one arm. Sad thing she Was the best dancer they had.

 

[OrganicShadow]

OK, I have no cool stripper stories but my friends do. They get wild.
1) My brother called me late one night asking for money to be transferred to his account so he can get it from the ATM at the strip club. His friend had a little too much fun with one girl and didn't have the money to pay her. Dumbass.
2) My old roommate was pledging our fraternity at the time when he was the driver to a strip club down by Seaside heights, NJ. He slept with one of the strippers named Roxanne.
3) While we were pledging we had to do a scavanger hunt in AC. One item was a picture with a stripper. Well we found a couple friendly looking hispanic "ladies" who wanted to party. One was clearly female, the other was clearly not. Well, one of our pledge brothers at the time decided to take a backroom with her. She massaged him, blew him, anal, but no vaginal. One night our other pledge brother, who strives to be the worlds most annoying individual, starts questioning him on why she would only let him do anal - slowly insinuating he had sex with a man. This kid starts stressing out while driving and gets a gushing bloody nose and swerving the car on the highway. Thought i was gonna die. He dropped.
4) I have one friend who frequently sees one girl he met at this place Smiles near Roxbury,NJ. The first time all the guys got piss dunk and he was the least blacked out to drive. Prior to leaving he spent a good amount of time getting to know this one girl. He rolls up to his friends house to switch cars, she followed him home and convinces him to hang out. He leaves his friends passed out in their car, his car still there and drives 45m south to her apartment. Rails her and stays the night. Wakes up real early hung over to remember he doesnt have his car and hes just outside of Newark. So he hangs out, the mother comes home and the girl wakes up. The girl sparks a blunt and tells the mother about all the things he did to her that night while he sits across the room. She leaves. They start goin at it in the kitchen, then the brother comes home - huge crackhead. He starts free basing and cheering him on from the other room. Wild.

 

[MidwestBeast]

not sure beer goggles are strong enough for that story...

Grain alcohol goggles

:laugh:

 

[Iron Warrior]

I had this stupid stripper who thought it would be a great idea to unbutton my shirt and bite off a chunk of my chest hair cus I gave her $5. That fuggin hurt like beeeotch and wasn't what I wanted for $5.

 

[MidwestBeast]

This thread is genius.

I've never been to a strip club, nor do I ever intend to. The whole experience is one I don't want.

I did, however, stumble into a stripper story without trying...

About 2 and a half years ago, we had to drive up to my buddy's hometown for a class project in an MBA seminar. We were supposed to do some videotaping, interviews, etc. at AE, where he used to work (corporate sustainability and benefits, project, just fyi). Well, we got to the mall (3+ hour drive from college) and the manager he spoke with wasn't there and didn't tell anyone else, so we were boned. We were pissed, more so me and my other buddy, AG, who rode up with Bill (at least he had the consolation of seeing family and stuff).

Anyway, it's a Sunday night and after that mess we go have dinner at his parents'. Then one of his friends up there, John, shows up and wants to go out. Mind you, AG and Bill had Monday off til our night class at like 6, but I had to teach 2 classes starting at 11. Well, we go out to 2 different bars before we end up at this 3rd one. I'm amazed that these places are open so late on a Sunday. We go into this back room at the last place (got there at like 10, or 10:30 probably and it was dead) that has dart boards and a pool table. We were playing darts the whole night. We end up heading out around 1 or so and this place is jam-packed, like crazy. We stood there for a few minutes and I catch this girl eying us. She even walks past us to another spot on our other side and I still see her staring. Well, Bill goes up to close out his tab with John and me and AG are standing about 20 feet away and sure enough, she goes up and starts talking to the 2 of them. I thought "okay, that makes sense, a friend from home." After a few minutes, Bill comes up to me and AG and says "That's ____ and she's having a party!" (I honestly forgot her name lol). I asked if it was someone they went to school with and he said no, so i asked how he knew her and he says they don't; they've never seen her before. I was like, uh, no, Bill, we're going home. We have to drive back at like 7 AM so I can get back in time to teach.

Well, they'd all been drinking and I hadn't at all (again, had to teach), so John (who I'd never met before today) comes up and asks if I'll drive his car to follow her. Bill says he'll ride with her. We start driving and I see her getting off on an interstate exit. I'm thinking...okay...must just be a quicker way than driving in town. No. This chick lives in a different town 20 minutes away. I'm getting more and more angry. We roll up at her house and I see no other cars besides our two. Angrier...I ask where everyone is and she says "oh, they'll be here." We walk in and let me explain the layout of this "house"....

It's like a long rectangle. We come in through the kitchen. If you look left, you see a wall, the kitchen extends to the right and a bathroom is at that end. If you go straight, you go through a doorway to the living room. If you look right, you see a bed in the far end (where the bathroom is on the other side of the wall).

This chick also bought a 12 pack...AT THE BAR lol. Well, she sits it down on the counter and her, Bill and John all go into the living room (this is as soon as we get in, btw, just wanted to explain the layout so you'd know). Me and AG grab a beer. I decided screw it at this point. I'm pissed and want to get drunk, now. AG grabs my arm and points. There's a babyseat in the corner. AG, then, takes a candle in a glass jar that was sitting there and opens her stove and places it in the very back lol.

We walk into the living room and this is what we see: a ~50" plasma, a coffee table and 1 couch. That's it. All the way to the right, we see a dresser and a bed. She's sitting in the middle and Bill and John are on her sides. Me and AG just kind of look around and are like "okayyyy" so, we go sit on the edge of her bed. I'm not gonna just stand around. This chick turns on the TV and it's on Fresh Prince or something and then she changes it to a music station...R&B...It's getting weird. We asked where her friends were and she says she has to make some calls...she never does. Well, Bill was plastered when we got there, but me and AG are slamming beers and end up polishing off the whole 12 pack (I had 7 or 8 because I was so pissed) and John was trying to hit on this chick.

In the middle of all this, AG is tellin me a story while we're over on the other side of the room on her bed and he spills some beer on accident on the floor and is like "oops" (genuinely). Then he gets that look where you can tell he's thinking about it, and then just starts dumping more out on purpose. He poured some into her shoes that were next to the bed. When the other 3 were in the kitchen, he goes and start pouring beer into her dresser drawers. I'm keeping look out at the kitchen doorway so they don't walk back in. Then he gets to the underwear drawer and is like "whoa!" I look and he picks something up and says "this is the type of sh*t a stripper would wear" and she walks back in, hearing that, and just blankly looks at us...then we figure it out.

It gets a bit blurred together for me, but amongst this time, AG and I had gone into the kitchen and were going through her fridge and cupboards and there is NOTHING. Like nothing at all. We take some eggs and he starts throwing them into the corners of the room on the floor. I poured a bunch of shampoo and conditioner into the toilet, peed on the wall (that one was an accident...slamming those beers hit me hard), and we threw a couple glass jars of jelly and stuff across the road against a brick wall. We also took her salt and pepper and shook them out all over the kitchen. At some point, the other guys, later on, put cheese slices on the top of her ceiling fan blades, too.

Anyway, it's getting even later and me and AG are getting tired of this and John comes up and says "let's get ready for bed." I stare at him and say "what?" He tries to convince us that we're gonna sleep there. I go off on this kid and lay into him a bit over this, telling him all my stuff is at Bill's parents' (namely contact case and glasses, shorts to sleep in, etc.). Bill was passed out drunk across the whole couch at this point and remember the only other furniture is the bed. Finally I just say whatever and I take my shorts and shirt off right there and say "well I refuse to sleep on the floor" and go get into this chick's bed.

She gets an air mattress out and says someone can use it, so AG takes it. She puts it at the foot of the bed. She says real cute-like "I'll sleep between you two" in reference to me and John. I look at her and say "I don't care what the two of you do, but so help me, God, if I feel anything, I will kick you both out of this bed!" Verbatim. AG gets up and drags the air mattress into this little closet next to the bed (just an open doorway with a curtain across) and we hear all this rustling. Then there's like thuds and other stuff. She starts asking "what is he doing in there? I don't want him in there." I'm turned to the outside of the bed and laughing really hard, silently. So, John, trying to act hard says really timidly "hey...hey, she doesn't want you in there." It's even funnier because John seems fairly nerdy and he's white and AG is super jacked and black; not to mention today was the first day he met him, too. AG told me later that he was laughing his @ss off in there. He also said his reasoning for going in there was in case stuff happened in the bed that he didn't want to be at the foot of the bed to see it. He also said that there was not one single toy in there; just shoes and stuff. And yes, she did have a picture of her baby on her dresser and told us about him; yet no toys or baby food at all...

I got up a time or two to go get water so i wouldn't be hung over in the morning, completely forgetting about the salt and pepper since I wasn't wearing shoes and was barefoot, now -- felt like a freakin beach.

So, I finally fall asleep. Next thing I know, John is hovering over me, standing there, shaking my shoulders saying "wake up, we need to go." I look at my watch and see I'd been asleep for like half an hour and snap on him again, but ultimately end up leaving.

On the way out, AG threw a bunch of her underwear into the front bushes, too.



Summary: stripper invites 4 random guys to her home and then doesn't try to do anything, either. I assume she was on drugs based on observations from the night and a lack of her observation.

Fast forward to Monday night. Bill realizes he left his glasses at his parents' house and then after calling them, realizes they were actually left at the stripper's house. He texts John and he had been talking to her since and he tells Bill "by the way, she's not that mad."

LOL are you serious?! Did she not notice all the things that we did to her house?!

So, that's my stripper story

 

[StangBanger]

I was sure that was going to end with.... "then we gang banged the hell outta this hooker..."

 

[MidwestBeast]

I was sure that was going to end with.... "then we gang banged the hell outta this hooker..."

lol well to be honest, I was waiting for something along those lines to occur or at least be suggested at some point. Like I said, I'm pretty sure she was on some meds, because she wasn't drinking at the house and just seemed reallly out of it. My 2 friends I went up with were both in relationships and I had just started dating a girl, so John was the only one who was trying to get with her. When AG found the underwear drawer, though, we of course did egg her on a bit asking for a show and she didn't show any inkling of wanting to do that.

Funny additional detail; Bill found out the name of the club she worked at and realized a girl in our grad cohort (only like 9 of us) had stripped at the same club.

 

[southpaw23]

Jesus and I thought Magic Johnson was bad (Coors). I like to ask strippers serious questions about life, simply because I'm immature and it amuses me. "So tell me, have you ever heard of vaginal reconstructive surgery?"

 

[DAdams91982]

Not exactly about life there squidward.

Now is you ask something like "How is your 401K doing these days?"

 

[southpaw23]

Not exactly about life there squidward.

Now is you ask something like "How is your 401K doing these days?"

Ok first of all, it was about life, it was "vaginal reconstructive awareness day", which is on the Turkish calendar and was also spray painted on the side of the bangbus. Two very reputable sources.

We also discussed junk bonds and how to properly setup a Roth IRA.

 

[DAdams91982]

Ok first of all, it was about life, it was "vaginal reconstructive awareness day", which is on the Turkish calendar and was also spray painted on the side of the bangbus. Two very reputable sources.

We also discussed junk bonds and how to properly setup a Roth IRA.

That was not turkish reconstruction day... that was Genital Mutilation day! You make baby Buddha cry!

 

[southpaw23]

That was not turkish reconstruction day... that was Genital Mutilation day! You make baby Buddha cry!

DA as always...you're my exception. I friend requested Buddha on facebook; unfortunately, he declined me.

 

[Tomahawk88]

I laughed so hard thank you HS.

 

[MidwestBeast]

I laughed so hard thank you HS.

I aim to please.

One of the weirdest nights of my life.

 

[Tomahawk88]

I aim to please.

One of the weirdest nights of my life.

Lol I might add one of my funny stories later. Doesnt involve a stripper but it did involve strip poker lol.

 

[Tomahawk88]

Ok here goes my strip story. Keep in mind this was a while back. Feels like a lifetime ago to be honest.

I was over at a friends house. It ends up being him, 2 girls(I didnt know), and me. I had about half a bottle(750ml size) of tequila in the freezer. We were sitting around about to play strip poker. For some reason I thought it was a good idea to chug the bottle. It took me 2 tries but the bottle was killed. I think that was an important part of this night.

Ok fast forward a little bit. We are playing strip poker. Pretty sure they are basically sober. I know Im getting drunker by the second and my friend Corey has probably been nonstop drinking for a few days. So we start losing. Not exactly happy about that. I dont even think we got them down to bra or panties. They easily could have cheated and I doubt we would have noticed. So lose and I figure what the hell. One of the girls is sitting on the bed. I drop my boxers and put one foot on the bed and start swinging my junk in her face lol. Pretty sure I was laughing. As I said I had never met these girls before that night.

Then we end up going to a party I guess you could call it. It was a bunch of girls. None of them were that attractive. Pretty sure I let them know my feelings. But for some reason they show me one of their friends on myspace(ya it was the times of myspace lol). She is actually pretty hot, but I met her later that summer and she wasnt all that. But that is another story. By then Im drunk as shit and just punch a hole in the wall. My friend Corey decides to take one for the team and distract the girl whose house we are at while the 2 girls drive me back to Corey's. Im trying to apologize but the chick is pissed lol. The girls were nice enough to get me out of there. My friend Corey ends up walking back and it is a good walk especially while drunk.

Ok another time we rent a hotel room and these same group of girls from the house show up. Not the nice ones who drove me after I put my junk in their faces, but the blah chicks and the one they thought I should meet. They jack our super cheap bottle of vodka. I end up going back to the house I punched a hole in the wall. I was that damn drunk and horny. Tried to get with that girl but that didnt work out. I think her friend had something against me after I put my fist through her wall lol.

Ok another time there was supposed to be a party.This is where the other half of the bottle of tequila went. It ends up being like 4 of us guys sitting around bored as hell. I had already started drinking so I was stuck there so I kept drinking. Corey had a plastic trash bag filled with beer cans. My drunk ass walks outside and starts throwing it at passing cars. This is going on at like 2 am. Im shirtless and one of the other guys is outside cheering me on. I swear I hit a number of cars but only one even slowed down. Honestly I cant believe nothing bad happened from that situation.

 

[MidwestBeast]

For some reason I thought it was a good idea to chug the bottle. It took me 2 tries but the bottle was killed. I think that was an important part of this night.

lol ya think?

 

[Tomahawk88]

lol ya think?

It seems like it might have affected the outcome of the night lol.

 

[TheChosen1]

I was sure that was going to end with.... "then we gang banged the hell outta this hooker..."

Or worst.........I'm glad it didn't end with: "We all drank too much, got $hitfaced to the max, and decided to gangbang the snut out of this hooker as we listened to DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY on the surround sound. Then suddenly, my boy yank her skirt off and found a penis on that beeyouch instead of a coochie. And the scary point to that is that he/she was hung more than we were." LOL