monstermash
Well-known member
- Awards
- 1
DIFFERENT LEVELS OF EXERCISE
It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise,
but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric
content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and
proprietary" research they are proud to present the results.
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent............................12 Calories
Without her consent..................2,187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.........................8 Calories
With one hand..........................12 Calories
With your teeth.......................485 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection......................6 Calories
Without an erection...........3,315 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary................................12 Calories
69 lying down..................... ......78 Calories
69 standing up.........................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow............... ...... ....216 Calories
Doggy Style.............................326 Calories
Italian chandelier....................2,912 Calories
ORGASMS:
Real.............................112 Calories
Fake.................................1,315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging..........................................18 Calories
Getting up immediately......................................36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately......816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years.........................36 Calories
30-39 years.........................80 Calories
40-49 years.......................124 Calories
50-59 years....................1,972 Calories
60-69 years....................7,916 Calories
70 and over............................... A Miracle
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.............................................................32 Calories
In a hurry.................................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door............5,218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door..........13,521 Calories
It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise,
but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric
content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and
proprietary" research they are proud to present the results.
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent............................12 Calories
Without her consent..................2,187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.........................8 Calories
With one hand..........................12 Calories
With your teeth.......................485 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection......................6 Calories
Without an erection...........3,315 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary................................12 Calories
69 lying down..................... ......78 Calories
69 standing up.........................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow............... ...... ....216 Calories
Doggy Style.............................326 Calories
Italian chandelier....................2,912 Calories
ORGASMS:
Real.............................112 Calories
Fake.................................1,315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging..........................................18 Calories
Getting up immediately......................................36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately......816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years.........................36 Calories
30-39 years.........................80 Calories
40-49 years.......................124 Calories
50-59 years....................1,972 Calories
60-69 years....................7,916 Calories
70 and over............................... A Miracle
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.............................................................32 Calories
In a hurry.................................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door............5,218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door..........13,521 Calories
