Tired of your man’s soft package? Think outside the box and read this…

Zero Tolerance

Registered User
Awards
1
  • Established
Humorous yet true in many ways... What do you think?

Ladies.. If you'd rather look the other way - if you'd rather confuse your own wishes and personal beliefs with actual reality - and if you'd rather assume that what I'm about to tell you is nonsense - than go away. Don't read this article and continue on with either one of two things:

1. Your man's soft package
2. The infidelity of your temporary marriage (or relationship) because you WILL eventually get caught cheating on him with the guy who thinks you're beautiful because you're "new" and "different" (which won't last forever either)...

Read on...
 
bigmoe65

bigmoe65

Banned
Awards
1
  • Established
I really want to foward that to my wife but something tells me I wont be getting any sex.:laugh2:
 

keeper

Guest
THAT's the truth (for the most part) told as simply as possible.
 

Irish Cannon

Legend
Awards
2
  • Legend!
  • Established
I liked most of it, except where it said that fat girls still have a chance. That's BS. Why would I want to watch a fat chick acting like a stripper? That's stupid.
 
DGSky

DGSky

Member
Awards
0
Funny stuff. I recall Tom Leykis saying this exact same thing on his radio show.
 
bigmoe65

bigmoe65

Banned
Awards
1
  • Established
I liked most of it, except where it said that fat girls still have a chance. That's BS. Why would I want to watch a fat chick acting like a stripper? That's stupid.
Remember her husband might not be a prize himself.
 

Irish Cannon

Legend
Awards
2
  • Legend!
  • Established
Funny stuff. I recall Tom Leykis saying this exact same thing on his radio show.
I've pretty much always said this same thing about ED meds. I guarantee at least 75% of the guys that are on the stuff don't have a real problem other than their wife just doesn't really do it for them anymore.

I've said it before, just because you love someone doesn't mean you'll want to have sex with them.

And heck, it's often a vicious circle. Often the men feel it's ONLY the women's job to look hot, so they let themselves go, which turns the women off, so they stop caring, and then it goes back to the guy not being turned on by his wife simply because HE is a selfish prick.

People make it way more difficult than it is.
 

Zero Tolerance

Registered User
Awards
1
  • Established
Remember her husband might not be a prize himself.
That may be true but I think that as long as the man is not hideous, women can use their emotional attachment to make something of the sex. At least a lot easier than WE can. As men we're (generally) not sexually emotional at all. We're visual. VERY visual.
 

Irish Cannon

Legend
Awards
2
  • Legend!
  • Established
That may be true but I think that as long as they man is not hideous, women can use their emotional attachment to make something of the sex. At least a lot easier than WE can. As men we're (generally) not sexually emotional at all. We're visual. VERY visual.
Yes and no. If you want to be turned on by your wife physically, you should do your part as well. I mean, ya, you can't change your face, but both of you knew this going into it. It's the body you need to keep up with. They've already accepted everything else.
 
Zero V

Zero V

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
Wow even in faith I agree 100% LOL

A girl who gets upset because I dont like her, and thinks I am shallow. Honestly, is is not shallow to not desire to mate with a hippo for life...really thats not shallow, thats just self respect LOL.

If I spend 2 hours a day working out after working 10-12 hours...she can at least spend 30 mins a day keeping in decent shape.

Men and Women today both try to expend as little energy as possible instead of pushing themselves so that next week their bodies are in better shape and they can expend MORE energy more easily...wtf its quiet simple...

I want a wife that in 20 years, will still be dedicated to both me, and her health and body. Not some chick who men think is hot because she can down 4 corn dogs, a bowl of nachos and shoot 10 shots of jose without blinking...but in 20 years looks like a diseased pumpkin...



I liked most of it, except where it said that fat girls still have a chance. That's BS. Why would I want to watch a fat chick acting like a stripper? That's stupid.
Oh....dear.....god....

I had a fat chick hounding me for like 2 weeks wanting it, I simple follow the rules "I find bestiality a sin, and cows fall under that classification"
 

keeper

Guest
It seems many women don't realize how critically important visual stimulation is for guys.
Help her out. Take her pic just before bed and ask "is this supposed to do it for me?"
 

Irish Cannon

Legend
Awards
2
  • Legend!
  • Established
It seems many women don't realize how critically important visual stimulation is for guys.
Help her out. Take her pic just before bed and ask "is this supposed to do it for me?"
lol. :18:
 
DGSky

DGSky

Member
Awards
0
BS, they know. That's why when they go out withgirlfriends they dress sexy and when they are single again they get their lard asses into the gym and all of the sudden they are more sexual and want to appear sexy again. It's a tool some use. Not all, but most
 

Zero Tolerance

Registered User
Awards
1
  • Established
Yes and no. If you want to be turned on by your wife physically, you should do your part as well. I mean, ya, you can't change your face, but both of you knew this going into it. It's the body you need to keep up with. They've already accepted everything else.
Of course everyone should do their job and stay in shape. What I'm saying is if a woman had to "perform" to save her marriage, she can do it with a little lube. A man cannot. Products like Viagra don't do a damned thing if you can't get aroused..
 
bigmoe65

bigmoe65

Banned
Awards
1
  • Established
Of course everyone should do their job and stay in shape. What I'm saying is if a woman had to "perform" to save her marriage, she can do it with a little lube. A man cannot. Products like Viagra don't do a damned thing if you can't get aroused..
I disagree. Duct tape and popsicle sticks.
 

Irish Cannon

Legend
Awards
2
  • Legend!
  • Established
Of course everyone should do their job and stay in shape. What I'm saying is if a woman had to "perform" to save her marriage, she can do it with a little lube. A man cannot. Products like Viagra don't do a damned thing if you can't get aroused..
I thought that was the downside to Viagra; that you get hard even if you're not interested. I know Cialis you have to be somewhat aroused.
 

Zero Tolerance

Registered User
Awards
1
  • Established
I thought that was the downside to Viagra; that you get hard even if you're not interested. I know Cialis you have to be somewhat aroused.
I don't think so but I'd be curious to see what other people say...
 
Jayhawkk

Jayhawkk

Legend
Awards
2
  • Legend!
  • Established
Don't really agree with the article completely. Seems like this guy just found himself in that situation and is pissed he can't get hard... It isn't just a woman's job but a couple's job to spice sex up.
 

Irish Cannon

Legend
Awards
2
  • Legend!
  • Established
Don't really agree with the article completely. Seems like this guy just found himself in that situation and is pissed he can't get hard... It isn't just a woman's job but a couple's job to spice sex up.
It takes two to tango. You can't do your part if she doesn't do hers.

I don't agree with it completely either, but I believe there is more truth to it than anything else.
 
WarcraftJJS

WarcraftJJS

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
I had a fat chick hounding me for like 2 weeks wanting it, I simple follow the rules "I find bestiality a sin, and cows fall under that classification"
Word of the Wise! LOL
 

Zero Tolerance

Registered User
Awards
1
  • Established
Don't really agree with the article completely. Seems like this guy just found himself in that situation and is pissed he can't get hard... It isn't just a woman's job but a couple's job to spice sex up.
Absolutely. Both parties need to keep in shape to at least some respect.
 

Irish Cannon

Legend
Awards
2
  • Legend!
  • Established
Absolutely. Both parties need to keep in shape to at least some respect.
Don't you hate seeing those super skinny, tall, hillbilly guys in Tazmanian Devil T's walking around holding hands with some obese woman? I never understood it.
 
B5150

B5150

Legend
Awards
3
  • RockStar
  • Legend!
  • Established
What has always confused me about this topic of your penis is so many young men and their soft ****s and your libido. It's understandable to a degree with middle aged men with ED and andropause.

I have never ever, I repeat - ever had an issue with erection strength in all of my life. This is under excessive amounts of alcohol, chemicals and or various androgens. Period.

I do not need to be turned on to have an erection. It happens. Period.

Consider for a moment that you may actually have a problem with your need for visual stimulation and all the extra curricular activity require for you to achieve an erection. I am 44 yo and it is still as if I were 12.

Now I am entirely in support of all of the extra curricular activities...whole heartedly. But to place blame on a woman for your limp **** is unfair.

"...my **** gets hard when the wind blows."
 

Zero Tolerance

Registered User
Awards
1
  • Established
Don't you hate seeing those super skinny, tall, hillbilly guys in Tazmanian Devil T's walking around holding hands with some obese woman? I never understood it.
I don't get it either but I know it takes all kinds.. A friend of mine showed me a porno mag of all fat women once.. We called it, "the fat book".. There are people out there that like that kind of thing..
 

Irish Cannon

Legend
Awards
2
  • Legend!
  • Established
I think a lot of it is more than the physical aspect. I'm sure the guys are often just disgusted by their partners, in more ways than physicality. Like if I married a woman and then she turned into some hippie liberal douche 10 years later, I doubt I could get it up for her anymore.
 

keeper

Guest
I heard someone say it takes a really skinny dude to manage the logistics... as in getting to the goods.

A little, skinny dude could fall into this crack and never be seen or heard from again.

 

AE14

Board Sponsor
Awards
3
  • RockStar
  • Legend!
  • Established
"...my **** gets hard when the wind blows."
its funny you put it this way as my wife makes comments about me in the same fashion. She said she originally thought it was just her, now she realizes a strong gust of wind comes by,and it stands up to say hello
 
B5150

B5150

Legend
Awards
3
  • RockStar
  • Legend!
  • Established
Yeah, my wife often times in the past, when we would be undressing for bed or the likes, would try and take credit for being on my mind or having strirred some deep desire for her brewing within me.

It does, simply because it can...no reason :D
 
Jayhawkk

Jayhawkk

Legend
Awards
2
  • Legend!
  • Established
I had an issue for a few months when I went from a married lifestyle of never using a condom to being in one where I would have to time everything and it threw me off on several occasions. After that it wasn't a big deal but it definately was a psychological issue.
 

Irish Cannon

Legend
Awards
2
  • Legend!
  • Established
I had an issue for a few months when I went from a married lifestyle of never using a condom to being in one where I would have to time everything and it threw me off on several occasions. After that it wasn't a big deal but it definately was a psychological issue.
You've gotta open it like a bag of potato chips!

 

Imnotascoolas

Member
Awards
0
What has always confused me about this topic of your penis is so many young men and their soft ****s and your libido. It's understandable to a degree with middle aged men with ED and andropause.

I have never ever, I repeat - ever had an issue with erection strength in all of my life. This is under excessive amounts of alcohol, chemicals and or various androgens. Period.

I do not need to be turned on to have an erection. It happens. Period.

Consider for a moment that you may actually have a problem with your need for visual stimulation and all the extra curricular activity require for you to achieve an erection. I am 44 yo and it is still as if I were 12.

Now I am entirely in support of all of the extra curricular activities...whole heartedly. But to place blame on a woman for your limp **** is unfair.

"...my **** gets hard when the wind blows."
Hey man! Once you jack off to Japanese girls puking in each other's mouths you can't exactly go back to Playboy!
 
Iron Lungz

Iron Lungz

Banned
Awards
1
  • Established
No, you're right... you probably need to go to a Psychologist.
*Not directed at you.
Hey man! Once you jack off to Japanese girls puking in each other's mouths you can't exactly go back to Playboy!
 

Imnotascoolas

Member
Awards
0
No, you're right... you probably need to go to a Psychologist.
*Not directed at you.
You're probably right! I could really go for some of that Brazilian fart porn right now! (BTW I can't be the only one who looked that up after watching that episode and found that Brazilian fart porn actually exists!... and it's absolutely retarded lol)
 

Irish Cannon

Legend
Awards
2
  • Legend!
  • Established
How much internet you think they got out there? And even if they gots it, its gon run real slow like. I knows cus Is seen it.
 
GuyverX

GuyverX

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
personally its more my interest than my anatomy.
as other posters have said the wind will have the soldier standing at attention.
never had a problem with small brain reacting, but big brain in many cases did not agree.

several times I'd run to the bathroom and get some cold water to lose my erection because I enjoyed conversation and the night out, but she wanted to sleep with me and I just wasnt into her.
the I'd apologize for my inability to be aroused. lolz
 
Mulletsoldier

Mulletsoldier

Binging on Pure ****ing Rage
Awards
2
  • Legend!
  • Established
The only sentiment that I disagree with is the whole, "A woman just needs to lube up and she's ready to go!" Mechanically that may be true, but I think it rests on the faulty logic that (1) the gross, fat man is not the cause of the dryness in the first place, and (2) that you have no responsibility to make "it" naturally, uh, accommodating. You should be doing enough that your partner wants to have sex with you, and vice versa. The article honestly sounds like it was written by a disgruntled chump with a limp penis.
 

keeper

Guest
But doesn't she have the power to get the ball rolling in the right direction? Some flirtation over dinner, maybe a little um... brush under the table and such to get things warmed up. It's about each one feeling that the other is into them. Not taken for granted, not overlooked, not a fixture, not a habit, but a sensual, sexually attractive partner. That power of feeling do-or-die desirable is huge.
 
suncloud

suncloud

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
man rules :

1 - if you expect a woman to shave, you should probably think about keeping yourself trimmed.
2 - if you expect a woman to stay in shape, realize she expects the same from you.
3 - if you expect a woman to go down there, you better return the favor. hijack a pillow to take with you - since women think you won't stay there long enough, this physical proof of staying till completion is sometimes the only thing you need to do to allow her release.
4 - 35% of women have never experienced release. i've dated 12 women, and all of them released. if you can't do this, PM me and i'll give you info as to how (i doubt the mods will let me get graphic on open forum). the pillow trick sometimes is all you need.
5 - lingerie is a present for you, not for her. if you want her to wear it for you, set the stage with something romantic.
6 - women crave sex as much as you do. half of the responsibility is hers, and if its not working, guess who needs to step up.... as keeper said, sometimes just a small gesture can have amazing results.

* i'm sure there are other rules that apply. that's all i got off the top of my head.
 
Mulletsoldier

Mulletsoldier

Binging on Pure ****ing Rage
Awards
2
  • Legend!
  • Established
But doesn't she have the power to get the ball rolling in the right direction? Some flirtation over dinner, maybe a little um... brush under the table and such to get things warmed up. It's about each one feeling that the other is into them. Not taken for granted, not overlooked, not a fixture, not a habit, but a sensual, sexually attractive partner. That power of feeling do-or-die desirable is huge.
Never said she doesn't. I just disagree with the sentiment that you can throw some lube on a woman's vagina like it's a creaky wheel and slam it in there.
 
bioman

bioman

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
I agree with the overall theme of the post only in that when sexual desire goes south, women tend to just roll with it. They seldom take the initiative but that's kinda what society teaches them..ie a guy will come along, make everything better, make everything work and live happily ever after.

Other than that, monogamy is just kinda silly.
 
Mulletsoldier

Mulletsoldier

Binging on Pure ****ing Rage
Awards
2
  • Legend!
  • Established
I prefer Pine, myself.

Oh? What?

Oh, monogamy...oh...
 
SilentBob187

SilentBob187

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
Did anyone happen to save this gem? Wordpress doesn't have it hosted anymore and I can't find a full text anywhere.
 
roids1

roids1

Banned
Awards
1
  • Established
+1. I just noticed this and would like to read it if anyone saved it.
 

Similar threads


Top