Gym Jerkoffs

[Longdog]

I'd like to start a thread about the biggest jerkoffs we see in the gym. Tell your gym jerkoff stories. here's mine:

I have seen plenty of jerkoffs in my day, but this guy I currently see a few times a week is tops on my list. He's about 6', 160-170lbs, mid 30s, and not muscular whatsoever, pretty frail. The guy comes in about twice a week, & every time its the exact same workout.

He first goes to the BB bench press, wearing construction gloves. I have seen him bench 135, he stalled after about 5-6 reps. He normally will not even warm up, but load up 225 on the bar. Now I know from seeing him that 225 is waaay over 1RM. He will lift the bar up & hold it with arms fully extended while sort of raising his shoulder blades off the bench so bar the moves about 2", but his elbows never bend. He'll grunt & do 6-8 reps like that. Then he will put 275 on & get a few reps in the same way. I am not exaggerating, the guys elbows are locked the whole time for 3-4 sets.

Not done yet, he heads to the smith machine. He sets the bar to the highest level & loads up 2 plates per side. No warmup again, he gets under it & holds it over his head like he's gonna shoulder press it. He will then use the exact same range of motion he did on the bench, with elbows locked. he uses his hips & legs to get a little 1" thrust going too. A few more sets like this follow. On to his 3rd & final exercise, preacher curls. Of course no warmup, he loads 35s on the EZ bar. He keeps the bar on the ground as it would be too heavy to lift up from the preacher. He will use all his might & momentum to heave the bar over the preacher & set his elbows on top. Then he will allow the weight to drop maybe 3 inches. The guy will grunt & trun red in the face while he pumps 8-10 reps while going from 12:00 to not even 10:00. Now all the weight on a preacher is inthe bottom half of the movement. The top half is only about 1/3 of the weight. 3-4 sets like that & he's done until the next time. He will then strut around with imaginary lat syndrome a bit on his way out. Whenever I can, I like to do whatever exercise he's doing with much more weight & lift it slow & correctly just to make him look like the buttfuck he is.

The dipshit asked me for a spot with 275 on the bench once, & I told him " no way, I know for a fact you can't lift that & you're gonna hurt yourself". He gave me a look & did it anyway w/o a spot. He must just want to appear strong, I can think of no other reason for this nonsense. I doubt anyone is impressed as I hear people laughing every time. I will only laugh when he gets hurt. I always tell young guys that lift with bad form, "would you rather look strong or be strong?, then lift correctly."

 

[NPursuit]

LOL that's one of the worst gym stories I've heard.

 

[shadow_manifest]

Hey don't knock my secret weight exercises. How do think Ronnie got to be so big.

 

[candle25]

At the gym I go to there is this strange old guy that walks around the free weight area and gawks at everyone. Tues I was working legs and he came over to the cable machine and acted like he was working out so he could watch all of us. I noticed that he only had 1 plate (5lbs) on the thing and he was going to town with it....lol. Anyhow, when I finished up I told some bro's bye and headed for the locker room. Our locker room has a front door and a back door. Aparently he came in through the back door and seemed to be waiting on me. I say that because as soon as I came in he walked around the corner to a locker right in front of me. He had no reason to be around the corner because there is nothing there. I started changing (I had on shorts with compression shorts under them) and he started changing too. My gaydar was going off the hook so I didn't bother changing the compression shorts. I just put my pants on right over them...lol.

So I leave the locker room and go to the rest room to wash my hands and the guy follows me in there with just a pair of shorts on. As I'm washing my hands, he gets a handfull of lotion and goes in one of the stalls. The last thing I heard before I hit the door was his shorts hit the floor! I don't want to think about what he was doing with that handfull of lotion.

 

[RaulJimenez]

ohh grosss , what a gay guy

 

[lvtrojan]

damn....

I think I would switch gyms ASAP candle!!!!!!!!!!! That is f'ed up.

On the flip side of this subject....i remember one time when i got a bar stuck on my chest when doing incline bench press. i was a lot more fatigued than i thought and went for "one last set" and on the last rep i failed and couldnt get the bar back onto the rack. I had to set it on my chest and kinda do a little limbo-like move to roll it down toward my waist and then push it onto the floor. Thank god there werent many people around...but i'm sure i made the "jerk-off" list on a message board somewhere.

 

[dito]

There was this one guy that used to go to my gym with pink spandex and a flower sports bra.

 

[supersoldier]

I've been waiting for this thread forever! I was doing OVT training, it was leg day. I was doing squats supersetted with lunges, with 120 second rest intervals. A guy was doing smith squats next to me with like half the weight, and I can see him eyeballing me out of the corner of my eye. Now when I work out, I have System of a Down blasting through earbuds, so I'm in my own world. This guy signals for me to take my earbuds out, "Hey man, what's in the bottle", as he points to my drink. I reply "Biotest Surge and some creatine." He then says, "Did you ever try NITRO TECH!!!???", like his fucking eyes were gonna pop out of his head. I say, "It's just whey protein." And he goes, "Nah, man, it's WAAAYYYY better than whey protein." I just gave him a dirty look and put my earbuds back in and added a little intensity to my squat. I always catch this guy watching me workout too.

 

[good_guye28]

i was in the gym one day a few years ago and this little guy walks in, he was about 5'6 and maybe about 140lbs. his hair was all desheveld, coke bottle glasses like youd wear in a shop. anyway he comes walking in and im already thinking oh boy here we go. he goes to the locker room and changes, he is the funny part. he walks out in a power lifting suit that the front goes all the way down past his belly button. not to mention wearing shop boots. well he walks over to the lat pulldown and i can see him lowering the pin way too far being that he is too short to even reach the dam thing.
he stands up on the bench and grabs the bar and jumps off of the bench to try and get the thing down. all he did was hang there swinging in the air. everyone in the place was like what the F__K!!!!!!!!!!

trust me at my gym there are plenty more where that came from..........

 

[candle25]

Sounds like we need to get him and the guy from my gym together supersoldier...lol. F**kin homos!

 

[canadian champ]

this guy is a tool

there is a guy at my gym that actually wears thick 'thinsulate' snow gloves while he is working out. on top of that, he wears two monster 'blinging' watches on one arm that go almost up his wrist. I have to leave the workout room when he shows up because the sight is just too ridiculous.

 

[supersoldier]

Almost forgot. My gym has basketball courts. So naturally there's two groups of people that go there, the people there to lift weights, and the people there to play basketball. One day I look up and see these two skinny ass beanpole basketball player looking dudes with their shirts off, staring at their arms in the mirror as they do tricep pressdowns. And they were screaming and **** too, as they pressed minimal weight with their toothpick arms. As if they were saying "Hey, look at me". I was pissed. I wanted to go over there and rip their heads off. Don't get me wrong, I would be all for lifting with my shirt off, if that was allowed and other people did too. But these assholes that don't even lift come into my gym, and totally disrespect the rules, and everyone in there. I definitely wasn't the only one pissed off.

 

[Bean]

We have a guy I call captain dumbass... he's a mid 40 something grey-haired man with little glasses... always where scrubs in green to work out; and some powerlifting shirt...
guy is my height and weighs all of 180 at the most; his bone structure is larger than mine but he doesnt have the musclar build of me (and i'm not a very big guy, so i hope you can get the picture here)...

he does the same workout everyday
he warms up with 135 on the bench which he presses just fine... then he loads on two more 45s to make it 225... and starts his work sets...
he does 3 reps of 225 with the worst form i've ever seen...

i've seen people bounce the weight off their chest; this guy does that; but he also thrusts his legs and stomach into it to and basically shoves the bar off using his legs... and he BARELY gets 3 reps...
then he goes up to 245 and 250 with 1 or 2 reps a piece...
and after each set he walks around the gym for no apparent reason; acts like he owns the gym or something...

after that he pretty much leaves... he's been doing the same routine for 3 months

 

[Longdog]

I had hoped this thread would bring some good stories, keep em coming.

I actually have many jerk-offs in my gym, as its a Ballys. It sucks to be a serious lifter & go there, but it only costs me $9 a month. I had been going to real gyms but got an offer in the mail for that deal since I joined when I was like 16. The place is near where I work, so I can go at lunch too.

Anyway, here's another jerk-off I saw today & see often. This guy is probably mid 40s, I see him a few times a week. He never lifts, he just does this every time for 30 minutes or more:
He will stand on the mats where people do sit-ups & stuff & turn on his walkman. He will then face the chainlink fence that separates the weight room from the machine area so everyone in there can see him. He closes his eyes, holds both hands in the air open with palms forward (like he's playing patty-cake) & starts doing what I can only describe as an Indian Rain Dance type of thing. He sort of skips in place while keeping his hands up & never opens his eyes. I've seen this 20+ times & every time I see people stop & watch him with blank stares. I guess it is cardio, but why pay for a gym to do that, & why look like a fool in public?

 

[jminis]

I have a gym jerk in my gym. He's about 20 years old I say and his stats are somewhere around 6'1 240 25%bf. He comes in only ever does arms and he wears a regular Tshirt but he just gotta role up the sleeves. Now let me tell you he walks around the gym staring in every mirror flexing his fat and flabby arms and seems to love them because they have some size. Whenever I work out near him (which is god awful because he smells like a fuc$ing dumpster) he tries to compare his arm size which is probably around the same size. This fat stinky tub of horse shi# thinks he's got it. I'm so tempted to say "pal take it easy your a fat load, pull the sleeves down because ya got nothin, your arms are that size because 80% of them are fat not muscle.

It just bothers the hell out of me that he struts around the gym like he owns the joint, his form on all the exercises is terrible, momentum is this kids only hope in getting the weight lifted. My bro's and I just shake our heads everytime we see him in there, I'm tempted to talk to him and set him straight and tell him how if he got down to a healthy bf% he would be a skinny bitch. I'm sure he wants to look good but the attitude just gotta go.

 

[bioman]

Try working out in Sedona some time..Oi!

My gym is really a foo foo racket club with some wieghts and machines. There is a small cadre of lifters but the majority of people there are old tourists, old tennis players or rich young brats.

Most of the time I play some angry music through my headphones to block out the ambient stupidity that permeates the gym.

The one time I forgot to replace the batteries on my walkman I get an ear full of "The hiiiillls are alive with the sound of Mussssiiiiicc!!" coming from some old broad on the treadmill. She had HER headphones on and was singing to the music as loud as she could.

OK. I tried to stay focused because I was on cycle and had no spotter so concentration was key. I decided the smith press was going to have to do. The room got quiet for awhile and I forgot about the singing until in the middle of my second heavy set.."ooooff Muuuusiiiiiccc!!"

Ack!! Sh?t! Faaaak! Concentration gone. Bar nearly on chest before I could lockout.

Then I got mad.

The bar bounced back up fast with me cursing it upwards. The singer continued to croon away, oblivious as always, to the people around her.

Anger rising to a focused fury I pounded out the last of that set while growling, snorting and generally sounding pretty scarey for my 180 pounds.

Call it anger management if you will. Use the annoying negative stimulus to power your workouts. It works for me. lol

 

[corteztk1982]

damn, I'm kinda worried....you guys arent located in ohio are you??? lol I do some of this stuff every once in a while lol

 

[WiNgS]

good thread...when i have a few hours to spare ill add my own

 

[kmac6225]

I have two sets of gym jerkoffs

The first set is the Under Armour guys....these tools come in EVERYDAY with the same exact UA shirst on...size XXXXS, no joke, these kids are like 145-150 lbs soaking wet. They do have a real spilt but LOVE to check themselves out in the mirrors and flex through their extremely tight shirts...I dunno, it just pisses me off. One of them has been lifting for like a month and tries to lift like his partner who is a lot bigger than him. So all I see is this tool squirming around under these weights for like 3 reps every set then he gets up and checks himself out

Next are these two guys who come in, one who is actually in decent shape and the other is just his friend who's starting out it looks like...anyway, these are the guys who wear the weight belts for anything and everything they do...squats to freaking lateral raises to dips. Anyway, the kids are going for the Animal Pack look with the goddamn winter hats and taped up wrists for no reason...They proceed to perform excercises with HORRIBLE form, the kind of form that has person trainers and serious lifters turning in their graves-with waaay too much weight as well...I dont know why but I just want to go ask they what they hell they think they are doing when I see them, cuz for some reason it bothers the hell outta me seeing these kids. Example - they load up a bar for shrugs with like 45s and bang out a warmup set. THEN proceed to bump the weight up to 315 for working sets, now their range of motion is about an inch, inch and a half tops, but they sure do grunt loud enough to make it effective

On the other hand my training parter knows this pisses so when I need to get fired up he just calls me the under armour kid or something about them to piss me off....so I guess it works out

 

[Longdog]

I saw some idiot last week doing dumbell decline bench press, not only with the belt as tight as humanly possible, the guy also had lifting straps on. Not just hanging there, actually wrapped on the 50lb or so dumbells. Must have a pretty weak grip if you have difficulty holding weight for a bench press....

Also recently saw some rail-thin foreign guy who didn't have a clue trying to squat with like 25s on each side. He had straps on for some dumb reason too, wrapped on the bar. Now he had much difficulty doing even 1 half-ass rep. If he had to dump the bar, his hands would be stuck to it & he'd go down with it. Now that would be a story.

 

[Jcc]

The strangest thing I ever saw in my gym... I used to work at 5:00 am, and there weren't all that many people. So this old man stands in the middle of the cable crossover area.

Now this is kinda hard to explain so bear with me. He removed ALL weight from the stack. He then grabbed the handle and faced away from it, and then proceeded to move the handle in a kind of overhead throwing motion. I couldn't help but stop and stare as this guy did easily over a hundred reps, the whole time with a blank stare on his face. What the hell?

 

[MarcusG]

Not jerkoffs but I did see one or two odd people in gyms I go to. One of them walks with a limp and is skinny and probably has a leg problem because he sometimes uses a cane to walk. He hangs his cane on the smith machine when he does shoulder presses and it was a little odd to me when I was new to see a cane hooked on the smith machine.

 

[supersoldier]

One of the gyms I go to keeps all of the cable attachments in the office, and you have to go ask to use them. I ask this one guy "Hey man, can I have the single handle for the cable?" And he looks at me like I'm retarded, points to every other attachment, first the rope, then the srtaight bar, then a v-shaped attachment. Finally he points to the one I want, and I tell him "That's the one." He looks at me and says "Oh, you mean the 'D-RING'???", like I'm fucking stupid. Skinny motherfvcker that's never touched a weight in his life, too. Asshole.

 

[Bean]

lots of gym jerkoffs right now...
its the new years resolutioners... kinda makes me wish i owned a gym; because the money is GOOD right now... fuckin packed out; get people to sign a 1 year contract in all their zeal; then when they cancel in the 2nd month get your $300 early-end contract fee

 

[Longdog]

lots of gym jerkoffs right now...
its the new years resolutioners... kinda makes me wish i owned a gym; because the money is GOOD right now... fuckin packed out; get people to sign a 1 year contract in all their zeal; then when they cancel in the 2nd month get your $300 early-end contract fee

Ah yes, the New Year's resolutioners. A classic group of jerk-offs. This is my least favorite time of year for that reason. The 1st week of January, my gym was mobbed with new faces. This week, it's already back to normal. It usually takes a few weeks for them to fade away, but hey, I'm not complaining. The less people in there, the better- for me at least.

Stay tuned for the pre Spring Break crowd coming soon...

 

[bellicose]

the one that pisses me off the most is the guy who has a pretty good build and is in the gym just about all day. He's always talking really loudly about steroids. Asking guys where to get them, asking guys if they're taking them, talking really loudly so almost everyone can hear him. Then i come in the locker room to weigh in, i can hear him talking as i come in, he sees me and shuts up really quickly and turns away to the lockers.
AS IF I HADN'T HEARD HIM TALKING ABOUT IT ON THE GYM FLOOR FOR MONTHS!!!!!

The other one that bothers me is the guy that gives me the evil glare of jealousy after i get done with a set of heavy shrugs or squats and he spots the hottest girl in the gym giving me the, "i want you!" look. Actually now that i think about it, he motivates me to get more of those looks

 

[Bean]

saw a snow-white white boy best can be described today... all of 17 or 18 with 140lbs sopping wet walk through the weight room... with his shirt off!!!

me and several other guys (and girls) started chuckling at him... pretty damn funny; his frat-boy bushy hair set it off tho; this big head of hair and this little skinny pasty white body LOL

 

[GangstaJDog]

I don't know so much about them being jerks, but I work out at the most popular gym in town and there's some pretty fucked up people who go there.

This one guy, "Sheen", shaves his entire body to a mirror shine, including his legs as far up as you can see when he wears his daisy dukes.

Then there's "Stinkfuck", this guy who refuses do wear deodorant, and not to be racist at all but black people for some reason have worse B.O. than white people and this guy reeks up a 20ft radius around himself. I always have to wait an extra 15 minutes after he is done on what I want to use before the smell has gone away.

Another guy, we call him Legs, is the biggest idiot you will ever meet in your life. No matter what you say to him when you first see him in the gym, he will reply with the body part that he is working that day. For example (and why we call him Legs): He is working calves one day and we overhear his buddy say something like "Hey man, how's the family?". "Legs!" the guy replies. I've seen this happen numerous times..
As if it weren't fucking obvious he was doing legs when he's on the donkey raise machine?

Then there's my favorite, "Sagat". This guy looks just like Bob Sagat, I swear I thought it was him when I first saw him. He always works out in construction boots with VERY sort shorts, and an 80's style shirt cut midway up his stomach, it looks haggard as hell. He was on his way out of the gym while I was on my way in once and he held the door for me and I grunted "Thanks Sagat..", and he just made a confused face.

Then there's the idiot who likes to use every machine for an exercise it's not meant for. What's that? Working traps you say? He'll go lay down on the cable row bench and use the tricep rope to do laying down shrugs. That son of a bitch has the nerve to come over while I'm working lats and say "Hurry up, I need to work shoulders". One time I was like "then grab some fucking dumbells" and finished my sets. This idiot does this on every machine.

 

[Longdog]

You guys aren't going to believe this, but I once again saw the original jerk-off I started this thread about. He walked in & went straight to the bench as usual. But this time, he put 35s on each side of the bar & benched with a full range of motion, nice tempo, & good form. I couldn't believe it. He was able to get about 8-10 reps, & did a few sets like this. Now I have been watching this guy use 275 lbs & a 2-inch range of motion for several months. It's nice to see somebody finally figure it out.
I wonder if he saw this thread...

 

[nostawk]

ok this is a funny thread My gym is at a college rec center so we have quite a few characters. The best/worst has to be this one guy who is maybe around 30 or so and he is a fucking psycho. the only real lifting he does is on the machines and he only uses the ones where he will be able to directly see himself in hte mirror. Its not that he weak or anything I mean hell stick a fair amount of weight on there but while working out hell smile at himself and make the gayest faces. Between stes i swear he talks to himself. Its fucking hilarious when hes on a machine two feet away from the mirror and hes just sitting there smiling and talking to himself. On top of this if there is any decent looking girl (theres usually quite a few) he will hit on them and hes actually kinda good at it. I mean sometimes half the girls there are whores looking to get hit on but he actually has some game. Ok the last thing about him is when he does bench or squat he will do one half assed set with more weight he can handle and if he benching hell have a rubber elbow brace and when he squats i swear he uses the same braces for his knees.

 

[nostawk]

You guys aren't going to believe this, but I once again saw the original jerk-off I started this thread about. He walked in & went straight to the bench as usual. But this time, he put 35s on each side of the bar & benched with a full range of motion, nice tempo, & good form. I couldn't believe it. He was able to get about 8-10 reps, & did a few sets like this. Now I have been watching this guy use 275 lbs & a 2-inch range of motion for several months. It's nice to see somebody finally figure it out.
I wonder if he saw this thread...

umm hehe thats wierd. yeah i figured it out.....wait i mean he figured it out. j/k

 

[nostawk]

ok i know yall have some of these ppl at your gyms the whores who will eye every damn guy in the place and give out there number more times than they will do sets. and then there is the ppl the teachers/faculty who play raquetball and are insanely good. Iv'e had my ass kicked in racquetball by old proffesors more times than i can count. lol

 

[zloy]

Yea there are tons of jackoffs in my gym and I treat them as much. It just adds to list. I have a very short temper so when some jerkoffs decide to move into my private space while I am doing a lift they will know better then to do it again. I just drop the weights in their direction hoping that it will hit em. MUAHAHAHHA Thats right when you see me lifting stay the **** away. (I also hate people talking to me while I am on the machines but in that case I can only throw a dirty look.)

The funniest morons are the ones who try to lift as much as me because I make it look to easy.(I dont lift alot but and I dont try the weights that I have never got within 10pounds of) Like a week ago after doing a warmup, I set myself up with 135 on the incline and this skinny mofo comes up and asks if he can work in. So I say sure thing. So I do my set of 12 and ask him if he wants to start up lighter. He is like na I got it. So I get in my spoting position but before I know it the bar is burrowed in his chest. So I say: u ok? He said he is and did like 8 reps with the shitiest form and maybe half way of range of motion and my hands guiding the bar.

SOme other fuckers who come into my gym are completly retarded. They never do a rep by themselves, Instead they put on more weight then 1rm and have their partner help em lift it. And it seems to be a trend in my gym so when I ask for a spot people put their hands on the bar right away. Until I set em straight with "Only when U see the bar go down, help me out"


BTW that really loud guy who always talks about steroids whats his name or what does he look like?
Could be my last workout partner. A rather cool dude. He put pheer into to all the mofo's in the gym. He would scream "JUICE" during every rep of his squat. He would definetly qualify as a jackoff! He would try his best to piss off everybody in the gym but most of the guys his size or larger would become his friends so there was little hope for the little ones. He got chased out of the gym several by a jacked older loko guy with an axe! The older guys was as big as the loud guy but was much stronger judging by his ~500 pound squats. Ofcorse alot of people poured outside to watch this spectacle and this is what we saw. The older guy got rid of the axe and got himslef a rope, that rope was tied to his truck and he was trying to get the loud guy head with the rope! Everybody just stared and laughed. Funny thing is the loud guy was not scared and was toying with the older guy making him believe that he will submit and the rope will tie around his head.
Fucking funny but everybody at that gym was fucking SHOT! I used to love that gym too bad I had to go away for college.

Face it, anybody who squats over 300 pounds 2wice a week is not completly there and therefore SHOT.

 

[zloy]

ok i know yall have some of these ppl at your and then there is the ppl the teachers/faculty who play raquetball and are insanely good. Iv'e had my ass kicked in racquetball by old proffesors more times than i can count. lol

Lesson of the story do not play old man sports instead ask him do do a powerlifting session with you

 

[kmac6225]

Face it, anybody who squats over 300 pounds 2wice a week is not completly there and therefore SHOT.

OK first of all that story was just rediculous. second - why is squatting over 300 lbs the basis for making someone SHOT? its not that crazy

 

[nostawk]

what do you mean by SHOT zloy? and that is one crazy fucking story

 

[zloy]

kmac6225 - dont pick on numbers so if I said 500 would it make you feel better?
The fact is I am 165 and 300 is pretty heavy for reps, If I do it twice a week every week I need to be fucking SHOT to endure the the pain and keep on doing it.
Sure anybody can do some 300 pound squat with a wack form and rom.

Why is my story rediculous? It was not a YMCA gym it was a powerlifter gym...crazier **** happened there. The same loko old guy was jumping on top of the new members car who pissed him off a week before he chased my friend out with an ax.

Yea btw in the forum we all can bench 5000+ and so on.. so if you dont belive me just stfu and move on

 

[COLOSSUS]

i think everyone has described the members of my gym...........

 

[lvtrojan]

I need to be fucking SHOT to endure the the pain and keep on doing it.

I'm assuming "SHOT" means "crazy" or something to that effect???

 

[michael]

The case of the clueless trainer..

first off, great thread! Was visiiting my sis in Michigan last summer and she belongs to this mega gym complex the size of a friggin city, the kind with tennis courts, pools, daycare, resturant,etc.. Anyway they have a pretty decent free weight area and one morning I was there there was maybe 5 people in this huge area. They have two cages way in the back corner and I was doing heavy squats. Now this trainer decides to train a client on a swiss ball right next to cage. I knda ignored it as I was in a major zone and on my heaviest set which I racked very hard and shook the cage and caused a 5 lb plate to fall off the holder on the side which just missed this womans head. The trainer made some snide comment which I didn't hear and I layed into him whereupon he gets the manager but the best part is this woman sided with me and agreed the trainer had put her in harms way and left the session then thanked me.

 

[maxhawk]

BO Soup

Two guys come in every night and have terrible BO & just a general greasy smell. After they workout it is straight to the hot tub for a soak.....without showering. Just sick as hell. My dad works out at the same gym as me but at 5AM. Last weekend he was telling me how he likes to get in the hot tub after he lifts. I didn't have the heart to tell him.

 

[zloy]

I'm assuming "SHOT" means "crazy" or something to that effect???

Yep, thats what me and my friends call people who got "screws loose" and lift. It is kind of hard to formulate but it is a term of used with respect.

 

[BingeAndPurge]

I have belonged and/or worked at so many different gyms over the years that I don't even know where to begin, but I have always loved stories like these.

I guess I'll just start with the most recent one. This guy broke so many rules, both unwritten and written, it was driving me crazy. I was doing military presses and I always get up in between my sets and get a drink of water. A habit I picked up a few years ago. I come back from the fountain and leaning against my bench is some guy about 40, obviously stopping by on his lunch break, gabbing away on his cell phone and making a point to be loud about it like it's 1990 again and he's the only guy with a mobile phone. His attire was another thing that strikes interest here: black sweatter, jeans, and those black dressy tennis shoes. No bag with a change of clothes. Nope, this clown was there to workout in his dress casual gear.

Anyway, he's leaning against the bench when I return and I approach and stand there staring at Joe Cool. He doesn't flynch. I'm just staring at him trying to telepathicly say "the weights are on the bar for a reason, jackass". He's looking right at me so I assume he wants a verbal commitment out of me and I give him the "excuse me" and he moves on to his . . . . whatever the hell he thought he was doing. You see, I finish my set on the MP and have to get my sip from the water fountain in before moving on to the dumbells. On the way to the fountain I walk by Joe Cool, still on his phone, in the seated calf raise machine (why do people always pick this machine to bullshit on?) doing something, but it sure wasn't calf raises. He had plates on there, but his heels were down almost touching the ground and didn't really go much higher than that as he did his little bounce. Seriously, he was just bouncing the weight with his toes and I was just waiting for something to give out on his stupid ass. I wanted to scream at him as I walked back by for taking up space, for being on the verge of breaking himself, and for pissing me off on a good day. Why do we all let these fools get to us like we do?

 

[GangstaJDog]

I was doing lat pulldowns the other day and finished my set and stood aside while I rested for the next. As I'm standing there, facing the cable machine 3ft away, this moron walks over and throws his towel down on it and his keys and cell phone and walks off. If this happened anywhere aside from my crowded trendy ass gym I would have thrown the bastard's phone at the back of his head when he turned to walk away, but since I was there I decided to be patient and wait. I mean, he must have just been going to get a drink of water, no idiot would just do that and walk off. So I waited a good 3 or 4 minutes, and was about to get pissed, then some lady walks up and asks if I'm using the lat pulldown machine. So I reply, "Well I was, but some fucking moron who looks like Bob Saget just set hit **** down on the seat and walked off". So she looks at the seat and goes "Oh...hmm.." and walks off and around the corner. Who do you think she walked back with? The piece of **** who set his things on my machine, he was her husband, I kind of smirked. He walked over and moved his **** off the seat and I started my next set when afterwards his idiot wife decides she wants to work in, and when she was resting, ask me questions while I was lifting. On my last set I lost it and said "Shut the **** up and get out of my face, and tell Bob Saget I should have kicked his ass for setting his **** down on the seat". It resulted in a pretty pleasing look on her face.

 

[zloy]

I was doing lat pulldowns the other day and finished my set and stood aside while I rested for the next. As I'm standing there, facing the cable machine 3ft away, this moron walks over and throws his towel down on it and his keys and cell phone and walks off. If this happened anywhere aside from my crowded trendy ass gym I would have thrown the bastard's phone at the back of his head when he turned to walk away, but since I was there I decided to be patient and wait. I mean, he must have just been going to get a drink of water, no idiot would just do that and walk off. So I waited a good 3 or 4 minutes, and was about to get pissed, then some lady walks up and asks if I'm using the lat pulldown machine. So I reply, "Well I was, but some fucking moron who looks like Bob Saget just set hit **** down on the seat and walked off". So she looks at the seat and goes "Oh...hmm.." and walks off and around the corner. Who do you think she walked back with? The piece of **** who set his things on my machine, he was her husband, I kind of smirked. He walked over and moved his **** off the seat and I started my next set when afterwards his idiot wife decides she wants to work in, and when she was resting, ask me questions while I was lifting. On my last set I lost it and said "Shut the **** up and get out of my face, and tell Bob Saget I should have kicked his ass for setting his **** down on the seat". It resulted in a pretty pleasing look on her face.

When people start talking to you while you are lifting :saw:

 

[BingeAndPurge]

This thread nearly ruined my workout today. In between every set I spent my time people watching and thinking of snappy things to comment on about people which I feel like an ass for doing because I am anything but a pro.

I will say this, though, if your heterosexuality is already in question DO NOT show up to the gym dosed in calogne. I swear, that guy at the gym you always wonder about showed up today reeking, I mean freshly dosed, in some CK or some ****. That's just uncalled for.

 

[hamper19]

I will post some stories later, but for now there are two "kinds" of people I hate at my gym

1.) thugged out dudes that come to the gym in jeans and workboots and do the same ****..like lifting heavy weights with absolutely no form which of course if they had some they would so not be able to lift that much

2.) 19-21 year olds that are bloated out and on roids with like one leader kid who is the biggest out of them all...and I have seen some of the dudes b4 and they were like skinny as hell 1 yr ago...again no form..no actual knowledge just a good source i guess...

3.) fat/real skinny out of shape trainers that do nothing but count reps for people

h19

 

[zloy]

I will post some stories later, but for now there are two "kinds" of people I hate at my gym

1.) thugged out dudes that come to the gym in jeans and workboots and do the same ****..like lifting heavy weights with absolutely no form which of course if they had some they would so not be able to lift that much

2.) 19-21 year olds that are bloated out and on roids with like one leader kid who is the biggest out of them all...and I have seen some of the dudes b4 and they were like skinny as hell 1 yr ago...again no form..no actual knowledge just a good source i guess...

3.) fat/real skinny out of shape trainers that do nothing but count reps for people

h19

You are hard to please, give #2 a break at least they are trying. I went from a toothpic of 120 to 160 in one year without any roids. And yea I used shitty form many time to shock my body into growth. Some moron with 12" came told me to use less weight when I was doing cheat curls in the end of my bi workout. I looked dead in his eyes with hate and rage, while curling that bar so he shut the **** up and walks around me for a mile now.

He also must think I am a jerk off well I dont give a ****, my **** works and ill do **** the way I want to. The FAT, pathetic fucks can comment on my form all they want and they ussualy do except they aint got **** to show for it. MUAHHAHAH

Lesson of the story: if people are not intefering with your lifting directly (like talking to you while you lift) shut the **** up and worry about your self.

 

[zloy]

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/par10.htm

I love the wanderer

 

[hamper19]

You are hard to please, give #2 a break at least they are trying. I went from a toothpic of 120 to 160 in one year without any roids. And yea I used shitty form many time to shock my body into growth. Some moron with 12" came told me to use less weight when I was doing cheat curls in the end of my bi workout. I looked dead in his eyes with hate and rage, while curling that bar so he shut the **** up and walks around me for a mile now.

He also must think I am a jerk off well I dont give a ****, my **** works and ill do **** the way I want to. The FAT, pathetic fucks can comment on my form all they want and they ussualy do except they aint got **** to show for it. MUAHHAHAH

Lesson of the story: if people are not intefering with your lifting directly (like talking to you while you lift) shut the **** up and worry about your self.

its good you did that in a year with no help....I know these kids since they are mostly from my town, and I know what they are like...smoking weed, drinking a lot, doing some coke..who knows...not to judge or anything, cause ive been there myself...i mean im only 24 as it is..but I just know there is no way these dudes got there with just diet and determination..that is why it pisses me off......

another thing, cheating on some lifts helps certain things, you are right..but don't act like you (not you directly, whoever) can actually lift that much weight is all Im saying. I mean I can bench 350 if I want to bounce it off my chest and/or have someone holding each end..

and these people do interfere with me directly....when im trying to do say a hammerstrength machine and theres like 4 of them on the one next to me..(3 spotting 1 lifting) its fucking annoying...how about move the **** over and put on some weights you can lift so I don't have to hear your stupid conversation about how you got in some kids face at this club on ...wait ok your cell is ringing now..must be important that you have to pick it up mid set to talk to someone......

that my friend is affecting me

just like yesterday Im on the precor machine and these 2 dudes were in the corner yelling and acting tough with eachother.about these "kids" that started with them..probably in a mall or something..talking on cells ....i look over and it was annoying..then the biatch on the machine right next to me (250 pounds easy..why they wear purple who knows) gets on her phone

THIS IS A FUCKING GYM you can deal without the cell phones for an hour..if not stay the **** home..


anyway..congrats on the 40pound gain..impressive

h19