hooking up with friend's Ex just for Sex

BoyFromAus

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sup brothers.

This afternoon I was just flicking through facebook and I came across one of my friends' Ex.

Firstly, me and him were best friends 2 years ago but now we don't talk. His ex had a lot of mental issues and a slut background (according to him) and that's why they broke up. It's been over 18 months since they broke up and he's found a new girl.

Anyway, on facebook, I was looking at her pics and she's damn hot (blonde,brown eyes, slim) and Single. I haven't had sex for a few months now .

Question really is, if you were in my position, what would you do? would you hook up with her or would you refrain?...

Cheers,
 
mindgame

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well it depends...if me and my friend left on bad terms then yea go ahead...but if you too just dont talk kuz it been awhile then no or i would ask for his permission...but thats me. its all up to you bro..i could live with it lol
 
e5cmb

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His ex had a lot of mental issues and a slut background
Maybe she's on prozac now and the syphilis has cleared up!! :nono:

Seriously though Bro......I would stay away from it unless you know she's clean (good luck) and your just looking to hit it and not get serious.
 

BoyFromAus

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well it depends...if me and my friend left on bad terms then yea go ahead...but if you too just dont talk kuz it been awhile then no or i would ask for his permission...but thats me. its all up to you bro..i could live with it lol
yea thing is, we didn't leave on bad terms. It just happened because of our lifestyle. I went to uni, became more serious with my study and then got a job while he went off and became a local DJ. Plus we both now live on the opposite sides of town.

Thanks man, I'm not sure about asking him for permission. May just be awkward ringing up and doing that since we haven't spoken so long.
 

BoyFromAus

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Maybe she's on prozac now and the syphilis has cleared up!! :nono:

Seriously though Bro......I would stay away from it unless you know she's clean (good luck) and your just looking to hit it and not get serious.
haha, mate, I'm not gonna get serious with her. She's just gonna be used for saturday night fever. As far as her being clean, that'll be tough to determine but i'm quite confident that she's no dirtier than some of the other girls i've had. Reckon i should go for it?
 

brownstown89

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hmm tough decision deff get a bj though.
 
jakellpet

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I would give head cases like that a wide berth - the type of **** they would pull would include getting themselves pregnant.

It looks like you have a high-speed net connection - stick to wacking off. You're hand will never argue. :bandit:
 
holyintellect

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Well, you guys dont even speak anymore so that basically means you arent friends as far as Im concerned. And if you arent friends, then hey, shes fair game!

holy
 
e5cmb

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I would give head cases like that a wide berth - the type of **** they would pull would include getting themselves pregnant.

It looks like you have a high-speed net connection - stick to wacking off. You're hand will never argue. :bandit:
So true Brother!! Regarding "wacking off".......I used to tell my Marines to do the same while we were on missions and away from home. Some of them probably listened to my advice and others didn't and got themselves into trouble.

Good luck in your decision Bro!
 
jminis

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Plenty of girls out there who just want to have fun why deal with a friends ex even if you don't talk to him anymore. Possible drama here so why bother. Girls are a dime a dozen
 
EasyEJL

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Well, you guys dont even speak anymore so that basically means you arent friends as far as Im concerned. And if you arent friends, then hey, shes fair game!

holy
him being friends or not doesnt matter, its not like you are going after his current girlfriend right?

why would he mind if you banged some chick he used to do?
 
dsade

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Douchy move, IMO, especially if there isn't anything that caused bad blood.

I haven't spoken to some of the people I would call good friends in 5 years or so. I still consider them friends, as in not enemies and not strangers.
 
Jayhawkk

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Friend's ex's are an off limits thing for most guys but for various reasons. I personally think you have to weigh in on the whole situation

Some things to think about:

1. How long did they date
2. Who broke up with whom?
3. Have you spoke to him about it?
4. Is any possible fallout worth casual sex?
5. Is it a sex thing or are there real feelings?

I don't think it's a simple black and white issue in all cases but the rule of thumb is "don't do it"
 
freqfly

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If you don't talk anymore, you're not exactly friends. In that case, go for it.
 

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Thanks man, I'm not sure about asking him for permission. May just be awkward ringing up and doing that since we haven't spoken so long.
i was just about to mention this...

i can see it now:

you: "hey, bro whats up?! how have things been??"
(small talk)
you: "so uh, hey...i been meaning to ask you..i came across [girl's name] on facebook and uhh, we started talking and stuff and things are going pretty well but i just wanted to run it by your first because you know...didn't want to disrespect..the recession..aliens..err."
your friend: "dude, it's cool."
you: "oh, alright man! cool. cause i already hit it.":biglaugh:

honestly, i don't like hassles. and if i'm there's going to be a war between my "head" and heart, i'll scrap the entire situation altogether. there's so many other women in the world, why stress (like this) over one that you know your boy already hit it anyway? it's just cooch like you said, right? you do what you want (cause you're going to anyway) but that's just the way my mind works.
 
ABNRanger

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People (me included) usually know the answers to the questions we ask. Sometimes we just need to hear someone else say it before we "believe" it ourselves. With that being said, there are principles and morals to consider, and of course, your conscience. What you are asking is almost like saying "out of sight out of mind". Just because you and the guy have not spoken for a while, does not eliminate the implied friend rule. How high do you vaule your friendship? Bottom line, no matter how wrong or right we say it is, YOU will do what you want anyway. Question is: Can you live with yourself? and, can you look him in the face if you run into him again, and feel comfortable? Do what you want, but I say be respectful, and let sleeping dogs lie. But, I will give you credit for asking the question, shows you at least have some concerns, and some good morals. Otherwise you would have done it with out seeking advice. :thumbsup:
 
jakellpet

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some good POVs here, but if you take in only one piece of advice: headcases are never worth the pussy - never!

Look at it this way: I have been down that road to save you the pain
 
jay21

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GOLDEN RULE OF JAY - PUT UR SELF IN UR FRIENDS POSITION HOW WOULD U FEEL IF SOMETHING LIKE THAT HAPPENED TO YOU AND UR BFRIEND F'D UR GIRL...
 
EasyEJL

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GOLDEN RULE OF JAY - PUT UR SELF IN UR FRIENDS POSITION HOW WOULD U FEEL IF SOMETHING LIKE THAT HAPPENED TO YOU AND UR BFRIEND F'D UR GIRL...
see but she isn't his girl anymore, and hasn't been for a while.
 
Jayhawkk

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The funny thing is that yesterday I found out my co-worker and friend is dating my ex lol. My feelings on this situation are that i've moved on to another woman and should not have the ability to interrupt a otential good relationship between two people as if i have ownership rights on her. Some of the facts on this particualr situation are that we broke it off together and remain friends. He did ask a couple months back if it was okay because he found her attractive.

I'm glad she's in another relationship...
 
Red Dog

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ask him -- everybody is different.. i have a friend who couldn't give a **** less who touches his leftovers, while i would be ****ing furious with anyone who touched mine.. just the way i am; i'm sure it varies from person to person so it's hard to judge without knowing his personality.
 

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ask him -- everybody is different.. i have a friend who couldn't give a **** less who touches his leftovers, while i would be ****ing furious with anyone who touched mine.. just the way i am; i'm sure it varies from person to person so it's hard to judge without knowing his personality.
+1 everyone's entitled to be an individual (within reason) and everyone's entitled to have their mind respected.
 
Minus83

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I wouldnt, but it really depends on the situation, if the guy is a decent guy, and their relationship was pretty shitty when they broke up, i cant say i would, just because id respect him enough that down the line i wouldnt want her to hold it over his head that she banged a bunch of his friends, i wouldnt want to be that guy.

But, if you are going to do it, you should probably degrade her as much as possible, have fun with it, that way if she starts telling people and your buddy is like "wtf?" you can be like "man, she took it in the butt, then i popped in her eye, ive got pics"

Its not something id put any effort into anyway, if shes coming after you, and begging for it, fine, but if youre the one sending her messages and calling her trying to get with her, i wouldnt give the dumb broad the satisfaction.
 
strategicmove

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Jayhawkk

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But, if you are going to do it, you should probably degrade her as much as possible, have fun with it, that way if she starts telling people and your buddy is like "wtf?" you can be like "man, she took it in the butt, then i popped in her eye, ive got pics"
Regardless of the situation I feel this is a poor approach in treating another individual. If this is someone you don't plan to respect at least in the beginning then just turn your attentions elsewhere.
 
ABNRanger

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ask him -- everybody is different.. i have a friend who couldn't give a **** less who touches his leftovers, while i would be ****ing furious with anyone who touched mine.. just the way i am; i'm sure it varies from person to person so it's hard to judge without knowing his personality.
That is like saying if you are not with her, then no one else should be with her. If you mean your friends, then that is a different story. If you are with someone new that you love, and if have issues with other guys (whether friend or not), then you have not moved on. It is not fair for the new lady in your life. Even if I was attracted to my friends ex, out of respect and principle, I won't venture into anything with her. I think even if you ask, and you are given permission, there is still the possibility of some wierdness. One might wonder in the back of their mind if the friend possibly had this interest while you were together, and was just waiting for the break up to make a move. Let me digress and ask this question: Would any of you mind if your friend dated your sister?
 
Jayhawkk

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Well, a sister is a different issue. Only because if things were to break up or something come about it then you have a real strong possiblity to lose a friend. it would also depend on the friend. I have friends that I would not let within ten feet of my sister if i had one.
 

purebred

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Well, a sister is a different issue. Only because if things were to break up or something come about it then you have a real strong possiblity to lose a friend. it would also depend on the friend. I have friends that I would not let within ten feet of my sister if i had one.
i'm the guy my friend's want their sisters to date:beerchug:
 
Red Dog

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That is like saying if you are not with her, then no one else should be with her. If you mean your friends, then that is a different story.

If you are with someone new that you love, and if have issues with other guys (whether friend or not), then you have not moved on. It is not fair for the new lady in your life.

Let me digress and ask this question: Would any of you mind if your friend dated your sister?
yes, I meant my friends.. and yes, if i'm not with her, then i don't want my friends to be with her (that's just my personality) and i view that as ****ed up -- like several people have already said, from my viewpoint, friends ex's are off limits -- at least for legitimate friends.. I would never date a friend's ex 1) out of simple respect, 2) cause, for me, friends > puss, 3) I value the friendship we share and don't want to potentially destroy it because of a girl, and so many other reasons.

and are you saying that if you don't like the fact that your friend is dating your ex, you shouldn't date anyone else until you somehow don't care about it anymore (because it's unfair to any new girls if you still care)? or did I not understand what you meant? and about moving on; I don't want my friends dating my ex because it's a ****ed up thing to do to a friend -- not because I still want to be with my ex.. it's your friend declaring he values a date/****/relationship/whatever with your ex more than your friendship.. fine with me -- but i'm not your friend anymore.

I don't have a sister so I don't think I can really comment on how I'd feel about it without having one.. but again it's completely subjective and based so much on personal values and individual personality.
 
WhatsaRoid?

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sup brothers.

This afternoon I was just flicking through facebook and I came across one of my friends' Ex.

Firstly, me and him were best friends 2 years ago but now we don't talk. His ex had a lot of mental issues and a slut background (according to him) and that's why they broke up. It's been over 18 months since they broke up and he's found a new girl.

Anyway, on facebook, I was looking at her pics and she's damn hot (blonde,brown eyes, slim) and Single. I haven't had sex for a few months now .

Question really is, if you were in my position, what would you do? would you hook up with her or would you refrain?...

Cheers,
I'd beat it up weekly if I were you
 

BoyFromAus

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wow, some really good and diverse points of view here, along with some very funny ones. Interesting how we all vary in character. A lot different to what i was expecting.

I'm thinking now, I should probably contact my friend and just see how he feels about it. Probably ask him indirectly though and explain to him my situation. If he's the same old good friend, I'll respect his decision. If he's changed for the much worse, then I'll have to proceed with using his Ex. After reading everyone's posts on this, I think that should be a good way to go about it.

The fact of the matter is i've been celibate for over a couple months now and this girl is literally an email away.
 
ABNRanger

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Hey Red Dog, my apologies if I offended you in any way. I was making the point that if you had an issue with anyone else (not friends) dating your ex, then that is messed up. It would be unfair for the one you are with. After your last response, I understand what you meant in your first post. Once again, my apologies.
OP, I am glad we were\are able to help you.
 
RenegadeRows

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Plenty of girls out there who just want to have fun why deal with a friends ex even if you don't talk to him anymore. Possible drama here so why bother. Girls are a dime a dozen
Agreed
 

manny1010

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Man you're pretty confident that you will have sex with this girl huh? If so, I think she might be a little sluty.... my .02 cents
 
toughchick401

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Like someone said, girls are a dime a dozen, MOVE ON!!!! even you questioning her being clean, is just nasty...why??!!! because she is "hot".....LAME!!! find another hot girl who wasen't doing your ex friend......

Just my 2 cents

TC
 
FincaChick

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OK look. If you are even considering it then that person is not really your friend. If he was your friend then it wouldn't have crossed your mind in the first place and it just sounds like you're trying to validate a decision that you have already made so you know what you are going to do... Just report back later with tales from the hunt. Or you could say f*&k it and get yourself some fresh meat. After all, if it's as easy as I think it is for guys to pull you shouldn't have a problem bagging something drama free. Unless you like the games- which it sounds like- because you are entertaining this not so smart, and a bit lazy of a decision.
 
Caferacer

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It depends on the circumstances.

If one of my friends has a short fling and thats it, then it usually isn't a problem. It's best not to tread down trails others have walked but oh well.

If it was longer than a week or two, it's off limits. Doesn't matter if he is no longer your friend; unless the dude is across the country and cut ties then don't do it.

Besides, she has emotional issues, right? Are you really willing to put up with that for a warm hole?
 
soseg

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depends how close of a friend and whether you can / want to keep it hush hush
depends on the guy as well.. some people will lose their minds if their mate ****s their ex others just dont care....
 
jakellpet

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Like someone said, girls are a dime a dozen, MOVE ON!!!! even you questioning her being clean, is just nasty...why??!!! because she is "hot".....LAME!!! find another hot girl who wasen't doing your ex friend......

Just my 2 cents

TC
OK look. If you are even considering it then that person is not really your friend. If he was your friend then it wouldn't have crossed your mind in the first place and it just sounds like you're trying to validate a decision that you have already made so you know what you are going to do... Just report back later with tales from the hunt. Or you could say f*&k it and get yourself some fresh meat. After all, if it's as easy as I think it is for guys to pull you shouldn't have a problem bagging something drama free. Unless you like the games- which it sounds like- because you are entertaining this not so smart, and a bit lazy of a decision.
yeah buddy, you're being lazy because it's there on a slutty plate - ignoring all the potential issues that could come with it.

Stick to masterbating until you can think clearly :bandit: , or masterbate until the proposition is no longer attractive.. . .
 
aries70

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If you don't talk anymore, you're not exactly friends. In that case, go for it.

Man I haven't talked to my best friend in two months. So being that it's been a while since they last talked does not end the friendship. We made a pact 25years ago that we would never touch eachothers ex. or more important the current one. But like Ranger previously said you have to be able to look your friend in the face one day. It would be best if you had a clear concious. But hey to each his own.

:chairshot:
 

BoyFromAus

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i spoke to my mate today, n i wanted to bring this up but chickened out.. n then he was like "It's been forever... ...we gotta catch up for a beer some time... ...thanks for calling man, good to hear from ya" etc.. So yea, kinda feel a bit messed up or awkward if i'm gonna go screw his ex. None the less, next time we meet, i'll try to bring this up again.. just one last time and then i'll stop, n Move on to something else... because yea, u guys are right.. there could be a lot of drama with a nutjob girl like that.. i only ever knew her briefly, and she seemed a bit lost in the head, but my friend told me a lot worse stories


anyway, masterbating...good temporary solution, tried it.. But it has its limits.
 
jarhead

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In my opinion you don't mess with a friends ex UNLESS he gives you very clear permission and even then it can be messy. I always thought of this as an unwritten rule. It's good that you at least intend to ask him and it also shows that you value his friendship by your comments.. Remember , even just asking can make things awkward as well. It sounds like she might be more of a hassle than she's worth anyway. There are plenty of girls out there but real friends are hard to come by especially as we get older.
 
tlee05

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make sure you wear a johnny you don't want her getting pregnant now do we otherwise this could get very messy.
 
BodyWizard

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see but she isn't his girl anymore, and hasn't been for a while.
That does not matter at all to some men - I had a mostly-ex-friend offer to kill me, just because I stayed friends w/ his ex AFTER he had moved on to impregnate half the strippers in town....

Moral: it's not just the girls who can be crazy & wreck your stuff!
 
BodyWizard

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i spoke to my mate today, n i wanted to bring this up but chickened out.. n then he was like "It's been forever... ...we gotta catch up for a beer some time... ...thanks for calling man, good to hear from ya" etc.. So yea, kinda feel a bit messed up or awkward if i'm gonna go screw his ex. None the less, next time we meet, i'll try to bring this up again.. just one last time and then i'll stop, n Move on to something else... because yea, u guys are right.. there could be a lot of drama with a nutjob girl like that.. i only ever knew her briefly, and she seemed a bit lost in the head, but my friend told me a lot worse stories


anyway, masterbating...good temporary solution, tried it.. But it has its limits.
Dunno Aussie culture so well, but if he was glad to hear from you, I very strongly suggest that you do not discuss your boner for his ex the next time you guys get together - sounds like your friendship might still be alive & you risk insulting him if all you're interested in is getting past him to her.

The more you go around about this, the more likely it seems that you should just meet a girl on your own, y'know?
 

Matt6969

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bro that is a low blow i wouldnt ever do it to a past or preasent friend
 
searl12

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If your sure you wont ever be friends with him again then its your call. But man Ive been there before with an oppurtunity like that and Im thankful I didnt, all be it the guy and I still talked, its just not that classy a move. just make sure that hes never gonna be a friend again and if he might be one day Id say no. just my.02
 
jbradley1981

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my opinion is this, and I am very strict with this sort of thing. If you and him are never gonna be friends again then go for it. I did this to my friend one time and it wasnt good, My buddy was with this girl for like 2 years and they broke up, I saw her at a party once and to be honest she was a clevend brown (nice uniform, ugly helmet), she was thin with these huge rounds floppy cans. I was at this party with a few beers in me and we started talking, and one thing led to another and so on.......well we hooked up (and those funbags were awesome, like something from a porn). The people who were at the party took notice and even though i couldve beat the piss out of everyone there someone opened there mouth 2 months later and told my friend. I was ashamed and felt like a huge d*ck. He forgave me which i didnt expect because i know if the tables were turned i would of ripped his balls off and fed them to his mother. All i am saying is if you plan on ever becoming friends with him again dont do it, or be a beast and say "f*ck it" either way its on you. I was a scumbag for doing it and i admitt it.
 
searl12

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well put, especially ripping his balls off, I like I like. But honestly good point
 

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