I've hit a huge wall
- 10-31-2008, 10:39 PM
I've hit a huge wall
This has been my home board for several years now and I have found that I can always rely on my AM brethren for support in times of need.
The past few months have been nothing short of a huge disappointment for me, both personally and professionally. Grad school has been one of the most boring experiences of my life, I lost the girl that I was so smitten with, and I can't seem to find something that I truly find to be edifying. I have ZERO motivation to train or do well in my grad courses. As a result, i have been drinking a lot...like 4-5x/wk to excess each time. Not coincidentally, my best friend in the world has been going through a traumatic segment of his life as well. I wake up every morning telling myself that I cannot continue to do this, but, when night rolls around, Ifind myself toiling within Jager and Keystone. As you might imagine, my physique, strength, and cardio have gone to hell over the past 6 weeks or so.
I am truly hoping that something will come along very soon and smack me out of this funk that I find myself within. If I have offended anyone within this timeframe, then I probably did it while I was inebriated and I apologize.M.Ed. Ex Phys
- 10-31-2008, 11:01 PM
I can totally understand where you're coming from, rod. I myself recently have dealt with some issues that were bringing me down. Thankfully, my wife brought reality back to my attention. I can't tell you how much i needed that to refocus on my goals in life.
The support of others can definitely assist in getting over the funk stage. I know it's hard to break bad habits, especially when life has thrown you a curve ball, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Your AM brethren are here to support and help you through this time buddy. Keep your head up, and take it oneday at a time. I know i am.
My new goals are to gain entrance into a Nurse Practitoner/Physician Assistant progam by fall of next year, and to achieve my best fitness physique by the end of 2009.
Evolutionary Muse - Inspire to Evolve
- 10-31-2008, 11:09 PM
M.Ed. Ex Phys
10-31-2008, 11:32 PM
I would try to surround yourself with positive people at this point. Do things/activites that you enjoy doing, and take every day one at a time. With each day that you make progress, it becomes that much easier. I know that's easier said then done, especially since the first few days are the worst, but i believe you have the inner strength to regain your focus/composure, rod.
Be there for your mom buddy, and she'll be there for you. Together you can help each other overcome these hard times. In the end, family is the greatest support system.
Evolutionary Muse - Inspire to Evolve
10-31-2008, 11:47 PM
hang in there rodja. if you need to talk, feel free to PM me anytime. my life has been a series of problems as well, though i find it now makes me stronger in the long run when other problems show up.
there is NOTHING that will shock me, there is no moment i will not be there for you brotha. if you ever need to talk, PM me, call me (i'll give my number through PM), whatever you need brotha.
hang in there. you are the MMA go to guy on this forum. your knowledge of MMA + weight training is unparalleled. we are here for you.
11-01-2008, 12:14 AM
11-01-2008, 12:23 AM
Maybe you need to try something new, different, peace inducing. Maybe its time to try going to a good church service or two and maybe reading a few chapters from the Bible(new testament).... Hey, its a life changing thing. Doesnt make all your problems go away, and Christians are far from perfect. But we also have peace even when were walking through hell.
Other than that, I have a theory.
"When you fall and hit rock bottom, smile, grab a shovel, and see how far you can dig just for the heck of it". Life is life, it things are going to go screwy on you, just find ways to exploit the crapiness....if that makes sense.
11-01-2008, 05:19 AM
Rodja, I'm gonna give you some inspiration that I saw on a t-shirt. It said, "Tough times don't last, Tough people do." No fuggin' $h1t! That little tidbit has gotten me through more rough times than I can tell you. Another one was by George Bernard Shaw: "Nevermind likes and dislikes. They are of no consequence. Just do what needs to be done. It may not be happiness but it is greatness."
Ok. Enough of that. Both of the things that are troubling you (boring-a$$ school and binge-drinking) will have HUGE impacts on yours and your family's future. Weigh the pros and cons of both and I'm confident that you'll make the right decision. Tuck in your chin, protect yourself at all times and come out fighting, brother. Ha! See what I did there?! I also think I should mention that I hope you don't dismiss the suggestion to learn about Christ. It's not for everyone but you may be pleasantly surprised. Now snap the fvk out of it!
11-01-2008, 05:51 AM
You need to quit drinking cold turkey and get your sh*t together.....and have fun so you don't burn out........
You don't need to feel suffering or pain, you think you have to as a consequence of events in your life.....just brush it off like you would a hit, it happens.
I was in a rut for a few months and did nothing productive, "I'll change tomorrow" is the worst f**king thing I kept saying myself, instead, I'll say "Why not change/finish this now?"
Dealing with some of these problems in our lives can be a challenge sometimes, delaying facing the problem only makes it worse when you finally do.
You know what your problems are and I bet you know the solution, do it, don't procrastinate.
11-01-2008, 07:13 AM
The important thing is you realize you are not being productive, and you need to change....the only thing left to do is act on that....Remember that everyone has gone through what you are now....we've all had our hearts broken, and felt like there was nothing inspirational in our lives....you are not alone in that regard.
This quote simply sums up what I try to feel about life....I dont often live mine this way, but I do try to....
That it will never come again Is what makes life so sweet
Dont ruin the one chance you have for a truly great life.....
11-01-2008, 09:06 AM
As the saying goes :"This too shall pass". I have followed your threads and posts since joining AM, and your knowledge of this workout stuff has always impressed me. Now you nor I know each other from Adam, but I will say this, consider me, and all the other AM members as your other "family", and we are always here to offer a shoulder, sh1t our whole damn body for you to lean on. I applaud all you guys for your input in trying to get Rod up. I live and die by these two quotes: People will olny do to you, what YOU let them do to you.", This is my fav: "Never let anyone hold YOUR happiness in their hands". Enough mushy stuff, get your MMA a$$ out there and conquer and whup some a$$ out of what ever the problem is. Now come let ABNRanger give you a hug (no a$$ grabbing now, lol). It will be alright man.
11-01-2008, 09:22 AM
I know I'm a a bit younger than anyone else in here, but I used to feel like crap, and think nothing is going to get better and always see the bad in things.
My parents got divorced 11 months ago, dad has 100% VA benefits, and mom and I got screwed over and have a crapload of bills. So I need to work a lot, do well in school so my car insurance is lower, and drive a half hour to school every frikkin morning.(High school) I then got hooked onto my GF, and she was everything to me for about 9 1/2 months, until we broke up, I once again stopped any form of exercise, ate crap, and stayed up late, sometimes with buds, sometimes without.
I don't know what it was, but something clicked a few weeks ago. If you keep thinking about all that is going bad, and hating it all, then you will do nothing but go down, because that is the direction you're looking. Just keep your head up, and make some goals for yourself. Don't just think "Ah well, hopefully something is going to go well today/soon" but make some real goals. If you stare at your goal, you'll eventually get to it, be it 1 week later, or 5 years.
Keep your chin up and although I don't really know you, you seem to have some pretty good buds on AM
11-01-2008, 11:32 AM
11-01-2008, 09:54 PM
Yesterday, I spoke with my ex for the first time since we split about a month ago. We got together and had some coffee and talked for about an hour or so. We were really just catching up with each other since we both knew it would take a little time before we could be around each other (our break-up was on the best terms possible; we never once had an argument). At the time, I was fine and really enjoyed being around her again (I seriously have never been around someone I find more attractive). However, later in the night, I realized that I am still struggling with it, but in a different sense. Something in the back of my head is still not sold on the whole situation with us because of the chemistry we have. Maybe it's just bad timing, but the only way to know for sure is to give it time. I am going to basically lock myself in my room tomorrow, finish all of my homework, and go to the gym in the evening. It won't solve everything, but it's a step in the right direction.
Truth be told, I know that the best solution for me would be to climb back into the cage because it gives me the greatest outlet imaginable and provides me with a singular focus.
M.Ed. Ex Phys
11-01-2008, 09:59 PM
11-01-2008, 10:01 PM
11-01-2008, 10:09 PM
I sure feel sorry for the lucky or rather unlucky person who ends up in the cage with you. Glad to see you coming around.
11-03-2008, 12:01 PM
11-03-2008, 12:13 PM
I begin my new split today with my roommate, who is a huge beast. I have never had a training partner before because I tend to train at a level that most do not like, but I hope he will be able to keep up. I am also going to go to practice to continue with my refocus. I had something very similar happen to me about 2 years ago, which is about the time I starting training MMA, and the only way I was able to pull through that patch was because of that. Hopefully, lightning will strike twice.
M.Ed. Ex Phys
11-03-2008, 12:14 PM
man i was there 2 years ago... finishing up school, working, had just lost my gf (back with her now) and i just wasnt grounded. I kept drinking and partying until i had the worst insomnia and just was losing all control. It was just stress and a childish mindset.
Ended up breaking my elbow in the stupidest way which threw my dreams of military aviation out the window, but things happen for a reason, got back with the gf, got my priorities straight, and learned how to stay grounded. Sometimes it takes a major wrench in the spokes to stop your movement and change direction.
Listen to this word for word... i listen to it once a week or so... keeps me grounded. It helps to put things in prospective.
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI&feature=re lated"]YouTube - Baz Luhrmann - Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)[/ame]
Just remember... the first step is always admitting that you have a problem. Once you can come to terms with that, you can truly move forward.
11-03-2008, 12:32 PM
The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety.-Psalm 18:2
11-04-2008, 04:01 PM
I think I am starting to turn the corner, even though I went out and had some drinks on Saturday and Sunday. I am caught up on my grading for my Ex Phys labs and hit the gym with a furious Chest/Bicep session (I hit 3 PRs throughout the session). Went home, ate a post-WO meal, took a shower, and then started to wind down. However, I received a pleasant surprise while I was in the shower: I got a dinner invite from a gal that I took out on Saturday night (I always seem to meet people during the October/November stretch). Naturally, I accepted and I went to her place to eat. We chilled for a bit and watched a movie before I went home. Then I took some 1-C, ate, and crashed the F out.
M.Ed. Ex Phys
11-04-2008, 04:08 PM
11-04-2008, 04:11 PM
11-04-2008, 04:14 PM
It is through our greatest defeats, our most punishing pain, that we make room to grow, build and then be better for it.
Loose example, To be wrong is a gift for it allows you to be better.
This expecience has taught you alot, you will move on, you will be happy again but my friend you do not truly know the wonderful sweetness until you have tasted sour for awhile.
11-04-2008, 04:31 PM
11-04-2008, 05:02 PM
Choose happiness friend, there arent two seperate streets, rather your path as determineed by you, self love keeps you moving over the innevitable hurdles of life.
Charge ahead, if you fall dont lie on the groud, get up and when you get back on your feet you are able to build momentum.
Set a course for success, learn from your pain and by doing so you will be greater than otherwise possible had you not learned from your life experiences.
11-05-2008, 08:33 PM
11-05-2008, 08:39 PM
good job picking yourself back up rodja. it gets easier from here. this will make you stronger in the long run, trust me on that. i won't delve into what i have experienced in my life, but pain makes you stronger for future battles - in life, at the gym, and in the cage.
again, if you ever need me, send me a PM.
11-05-2008, 11:45 PM
11-06-2008, 08:19 AM
Things will look up. I got teh puffy nips and sometimes ed. So hey it could be worse. I went through a lot of **** last year. Problems with the wife, miscarriage, being beaten during a robbery. Still with the dam puffy nips and occasional ed, but my attitude lately is fu*k it fight back. Live standing, avoid the knees, punch between the eyes and all that.
11-06-2008, 10:54 AM
I personnaly am the kind who tends to be prone to sliping into depressed states, over drink/eat etc. There are days when I wake up I just WISHED that I could make it through the day without saying a single word to anyone at all. A lot of the time it's because I become burnt out or too overwhelmed. What usually helps me is to take a break. Could be a true vacation or even a weekend backpacking/climbing trip. Usually by myself or with only a few certain friend or two. Something I find relaxing and peacefull. Then when I come back I feel a bit more rejuvinated, enough to kick start my recovery and tackle any issues that need to be.
Hope all goes well man.
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