When did you realise it was time to settle down (girlfriend)
- 10-31-2008, 04:25 AM
When did you realise it was time to settle down (girlfriend)
Ok im looking for advice and other peoples experience here.
I feel like im never going to be able to settle down, I go from girl to girl like they were protein shakes.
Sometimes I find a great one and hook up with her for a good several months. Shell be the greatest thing ever and I feel like shes someone I could settle down with.
But theres always a nagging feeling in the back of my head saying shes not the one. So I move on (even though it hurts me to leave them but I do and get over the pain and just keep playing the game)
What I want to know, how many people were like this? did you use to go out and pick up flat stick then one day just meet someone that made you want to settle down, or did you force yourself once you got to a certain age?
I feel like the male mentality in me is never going to let me settle because I want to **** the **** out of as many chicks as I can.
- 10-31-2008, 04:33 AM
Marriage IMO is sexual enslavement to someone else, f**k getting married, what makes you think you need marriage or a steady gf to be happy?
I will never get married or have a steady gf.......that sh*t is not natural.
10-31-2008, 04:51 AM
Im very similar. Even when i find someone i like i always think, nah, she cant be the one. But im sure like everyone says one day you will meet someone that will be worth making sacrifices for and settling down. Everyone can be taimed at some point.
10-31-2008, 04:52 AM
10-31-2008, 04:55 AM
Yeah one day I want to have kids and a wife, house etc all that crap. But I always feel like there is someone better out there.
Im curious, is this the normal male feeling because we want to **** everything or is there really someone out there who is going to make me really say wow and want to settle down.
10-31-2008, 04:58 AM
I think you will always strive for someone better, but when you do find the right person, you will realize it. The thoughts of trying to find someone else will fade, it doesn't matter how many girls you have been with, you also have to take into consideration what type of girl they are, your not going to "find the right one" when the girl is a whore.
10-31-2008, 05:07 AM
10-31-2008, 05:16 AM
Allstar that goes without saying, Ive hooked up with a couple of whores when im drunk and u really care bout is getting ur socks off. But not being able to hold a decent convo with them is the biggest turn off.
But the thing is, ive found girls who are my type. They have a uni education like me, a successful job, own investment houses/properties. Are really just well setup and smart. Some have had there own business. Beautiful yada yada yada. These are the girls I end up hooking up with for say 6 months but then just end up moving on.
I want to hear people who are in a serious relationship who know its the one, or who are married.
Did you go through heaps of girls and then found "the one"
As the only people I know who are truly happy like this are the ones who are still with there first bf/gf. Because they have never had anyone else and dont have the urge for it.
10-31-2008, 05:54 AM
If you were buying a house to live in for a few years.. how many houses would you look at before you bought?
Now when considering girlfriends i think the more you shop around the better, youve got your whole life to get stuck with one vag.
Enjoy being single and know that when you find the right one you will like her more and more instead of less as the novelty of fresh vag wears off and you actually have to like who they are.
Hope this isnt too vulgar.
10-31-2008, 12:15 PM
hyper24, I'm assuming you're fairly young (<30). I was just like you....girl, to girl, to girl, etc. Never wanted to get married, never wanted a hardcore g/f, no kids (nooooo!) etc, etc. Then, after a while, as you AGE (heh), mature, get a career rolling, get your education taken care of, experience life more, evolve your religion (Christianity here), your "real life" and desires begins to materialize.
I was at a club (in these parts I'd call it a bar w/a dance floor) here about 6 months ago and I met this horribly cute tiny girl there. She is my g/f now and I'm not interested in other girls. She's just a hoot to be around, a very good girl (religious and sweet as can be), funny and so adorable you seriously just want to squeeze her to pieces (my type of girl). So we have been going strong for 6 months and I look forward to seeing her everyday even though we live together (yep, it's like that). Is she future wifey? Don't know, but so far it looks promising. I don't wish for marriage or work toward it, it just has to happen (spares you the religious component).
Hope that helps a bit. Good luck with finding Ms. Right.
10-31-2008, 12:28 PM
10-31-2008, 12:29 PM
ah something I can agree with....(I wont add in the religious extremism some people know me for) so except for a few things i completely agree. Though I have become much more...relaxed about everything. Slowly falling victim to being 22 lol.
But I believe its not a sacrifice to be married to someone because of the loss of a bunch of sex toys. the sacrifice comes from dedication, commitment, and giving and taking. I dont believe for 1 second man was meant to walk around like a savage animal looking for whatever he can mount.....
A great relationship, someone who you trust with your life, you know will be there for your kids if something happens to you, and who you could tell your worst secrets too and never worry about their opinion of you changing....that beats random girls and short term g/f's every time.
First things first, you most likely have a mentality that is actually afraid. I have seen many people with that mindset end up lonely, older, and stuck in bars looking for their fix. The longer you wait to find someone for a long term/permanent attachment the less you can actually be attached, psychologically speaking.
Psychologically, sex creates a bond. And that is why a husband and wife can grow so strong together. The reason we have so much cheating, and bad marriages today is because people have sex with so many people, their ability to form those chemically induced bonds are gone. its like a stim, you overuse them and they dont work no more. Man was not meant to run around like such. we were meant for 1 partner for life, though i can see if people had 1 or two before its no big deal(i am no virgin and I am not with her no more).
But if you find a girl, who has been with 24 diff guys, what can she do with you that is special, intimate, and new.....yeah.... so how can you form intimate bonds, which is a major part of a relationship? I mean it can happen, but its alot harder, and its alot easier for things to fall apart.
10-31-2008, 12:37 PM
You eventually will get tired of all of it all,.. well I did. I mean, hittin' the bars and clubs and takin' a chick home does get boring after awhile.
I'll be honest with you,... I tried online dating to meet a quality person, and it worked. Been together over a year,... can't say for sure if she's the ONE,... but it feels so right!!!
Think training's hard,. try losing!
10-31-2008, 12:50 PM
I think you need to stop "looking" and just let it happen naturally. I stopped looking and one day, believe it or not, I was online on one of those social sites (Black Planet), and found my lady. we have been together for 4 yrs now, getting married next year. Now this might be out of the norm, but my point is, when you stop looking, you tend find just what you want. Take some time to get to know YOU, and what YOU really want out of life, and love. A lot of us, and I say us, because I used to do it, don't really know what we want, and end up hurting others as well as ourselves in the process of that search. If YOU don't really know what YOU want, then YOU can't expect the someone else to know. Find YOU, and SHE will find YOU.
10-31-2008, 01:08 PM
And don't think eating pu.ssy is safe either. Jimmy hats don't do sh!t...don't let them fool you. No joke.
10-31-2008, 01:09 PM
10-31-2008, 01:10 PM
10-31-2008, 01:11 PM
10-31-2008, 07:52 PM
I swear to you my friend I pictured a hot slim but curvy redhead (never ever dated a redhead) with curly hair (love that) and i met this girl at an awards show for rugby and she doesnt drink so it was total chance she would ever encounter me. We have been dating for 8 months, she is all that i asked for and does accept me for me and if i wish to make changes she supports them instead of expecting me to fit her predetermined mould.
So think, re think then just ask, think about what you want and act from a position that allows you to be able to recieve it. If you want a girl unlike any other youve met, look in a place youve never looked before. And by look i mean be open to it (even if at first you think its unlikely) and present yourself as dateable. enjoy.
10-31-2008, 10:05 PM
Thanks guys it helps alot to know it is possible. I guess im just scared of wanting to fck around my whole life and ending up alone. (fck these elevated estrogen levels, *me* grabs for the arimidex)
If I could write down on paper eveyrthing I wanted in a girl, the girl im with now is exactly that. But still for some reason I want to fck around. Maybe i'm just too young or maybe if i have to think this hard about her she just isnt right.
10-31-2008, 10:13 PM
Then if you still feel that I want to fu..ck around feeling, you are NOT ready to settle down, and she may not be the ONE. Trust your heart, not your head or your d1ck. When the ONE comes along, you will know. You won't even have to wonder or question.
10-31-2008, 10:28 PM
10-31-2008, 10:40 PM
11-01-2008, 09:15 AM
I debated on whether I should respond to this post.
I married a Filipina and actually flew over there to meet her for the first time. Previously we have written letters as pen pals then I got online and we emailed. It was only after 3 years of this did any fire of love kindle and it started with me and it shocked the crap out of me.
I was always scared of marriage and never could see myself getting married at all. I would frown on it when someone asked me about it. With this girl I found several things. She had a genuine love in her which was vastly different from what I found in many American girls. It was strange really. I also saw the way she watched out for me and was very detail orientated in all manner of life. I thought, take all of this with the combination of what I felt in my heart I had better make a move otherwise a good fish will get away from me. So we married in Dec 2001 and been going strong ever since. I was 32 and she was 25. I am now 39 and she is 32
When she came here even my mom and brother told me that I really picked a good one. The girl is smart as a whip to.....makes me feel like a chump sometimes because of it.
11-01-2008, 09:37 AM
As humans are the definition of social creatures, absolute promiscuity is antithetical to survival, and so, we are instinctually monogamous at certain points. For example, in an early tribal society promiscuity may have upset the fragile social balance of power, and led to exile; such actions would be a veritable death sentence, as human's dominance stems from deliberate, cohesive, rational, and emotional thought. As well, the emotional intelligence of human plays a large role in our development and the maintenance of social bonds - new research actually suggests that emotional intelligence is more highly involved in success than intellectual intelligence, due to the ability to interpret and react to social cues. Such skills would have been paramount to the early successful human, and complete promiscuity is tantamount to that success. We instinctually bred monogamously because monogamous pair-bonding was an evolutionary necessity: After the fall of Dinosaurs, Mammals emerged as niche creatures, primarily nocturnal, and developed an intense sociality as a means through which to survive. Over millennia of evolution, this certain propensity for monogamy became engrained as a survival mechanism, and later was infused with psychological, emotional, social and cultural contexts. As I said previously, this psychological development most likely allowed us to prevail over other Homo Species, as our emotional capacities allowed our social bonds to be more cohesive - i.e., the ability to read and react to pack members in the most beneficial manner for all in the pack.
Obviously, variations within the genetic code permit non-monogamously tuned individuals, or even periods in which the same individual varies his/her or her preference; however, the concept that humans procreated like other mammalian species (low investment in offspring, lack of parenting past gestation and early-birth, multiple simultaneous partners and so forth) is outdated. It is precisely the lack of this behavior which made us so dominant.
Similar Forum Threads
- By ChocolateClen in forum General ChatReplies: 24Last Post: 10-14-2016, 11:42 AM
- By TheYogurtMan in forum AnabolicsReplies: 4Last Post: 12-27-2011, 07:50 PM
- By 2k1s in forum AnabolicsReplies: 2Last Post: 06-20-2010, 07:07 PM
- By LakeMountD in forum Training ForumReplies: 5Last Post: 03-04-2005, 11:22 AM
- By comrade in forum General ChatReplies: 2Last Post: 02-17-2004, 05:18 PM