I have to say that I enjoy this thread tremendously.
I also would like Mullet's input on this, as I think that this thread could also be named:
"The Unintended Consequences of Feminism"
As you have said in so many words "Why buy the cow when the milk is free". And I have to agree with you here, why would you?
For the better part of the history of Western Civilization women who had indiscriminate sex with men were frowned upon by other members of the community. Marriage was essentially the only way that a man could reliably get laid and still act in accordance with social norms. Essentially marriage was the agreement that a man would give a woman children, security, and companionship for the exchange of sex. This is obviously the most simple explanation, but I am trying to type this while holding an infant. (I will get to that in a second)
Now we live in an age where this is not the case at all. Women were told that it is perfectly acceptable to be as promiscuous as they want, and you know what, they can, they just do so at the peril of settling down with a partner. Why would any single man tie himself to a single woman, get married, and take the chance of getting sodomized in divorce court?Why do that when the world is full of an endless supply of 18-24 year olds who are more than willing to fulfill your sexual desires? Hell, why did I do it?
I did it for love, and for a family.
I am a married man, happily at that, for closing in on 8 years now.
As crazy as it sounds I wanted a relationship and children from a very young age. I could deconstruct myself and go into how my lack of a functional and stable family unit could have contributed to this, but it doesn't really matter. I wanted to find a woman who I could love, and to have children. Well, I found that woman, and have the children to boot.
I wanted it, and you don't, this is probably why you haven't found the woman that you could settle down with yet. When you really want it, you will find it. That being said the only way I could possibly see the advantage of getting married is for the purpose of having children. If you don't want them, then why settle? The best women will stay the same age, and when you get too old for 18-24 year olds, you can be assured that there will be countless divorced and single women your age who are so afraid of dying alone and/or childless they will settle for almost anything (not disparaging you here, the point is you should have no trouble finding a mate).
Check out this article if you don't believe me:
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200803/single-marry
If my wife died, or if by some chance we got a divorce I most certainly would not remarry. In fact once I was over my grief enough to walk, I would walk right into a doctors office and get a vasectomy. I have my family, I don't want another one, and I most certainly don't want to get married again. It isn't that I don't like being married, it is just that I have my family, and don't want another one, and would require the same in a mate. I don't want to put a woman in the position of being with me and hoping to change my mind, or worse trying to get pregnant to force me to do anything.
The other reason that I wouldn't want to be married is the expense of it. Marriage is expensive, I could go eat at nice restaurants and pay someone to clean my house twice a week, and still come off cheaper than being married.
Getting back to my original point, it doesn't really benefit a man to marry at this point in time. The incentive has been stripped away by easy sex, and the cost of divorce (financial and loss of family) has proven to be quite the deterrent.
I don't believe in the idea of "the perfect husband/wife", I seriously doubt the idea anyone is perfect for anyone else. Everyone has their own baggage, and as such there will be friction in every relationship. So I seriously doubt that it is just a matter of a man in your position finding the woman who will make you realize the error of having sex with as many women as possible. It is much more likely that you are just not ready to settle down with one woman. I think the more important question is whether or not you will ever want a wife or family.