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factsmachine
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Mods feel free to move this where it needs to go.
I'm 19 years old, huge history of drug use, rehabs, whatever. Started working out when I was about 14 really serious. I gained 20 lbs naturally without much fat, about 10% body fat 150lbs. I was using scripted opiates recreationally. Hydros, oxy, tramadol, anything to maintain my mind state to stop it from going to depressed and anxious mode.
I was still using all these drugs when I decided to do a steroid cycle. I read up on everything really well, and I knew what I was doing. But I didn't do it right. I screwed up. I did a 4 week test 200mg/wk and epistane 40mg/day and gained a few good pounds. But I couldnt get my opiates anymore and would definitely go into withdrawl if I stopped, I wanted to change. After 2 failed detoxes, Here I am right here right in the middle of my cycle unable to workout and detoxing, withdrawing hard. I can't go to the gym yet. I've lost a few pounds from not being able to eat much during these detoxes. This time I am 36 hours into opiate withdrawl, and I am going to do this. Finish this withdrawl and get my life together.
So I had about 100mg of test left and thought what the heck, it would go to waste. So i did that about 5 days ago. I'm no doubt going to lose much of my progress and be shutdown for a while because the drugs distracted me from my weight training and my life, and getting started at college. I accept that now. So where do I start? I have another 5 days till I'm up to about 90% physically. Mentally, I will have a long ways to go. It will take a long time to get rid of the depression and anxiety that comes from getting off of these opiates. Plus being shutdown from my cycle that was a bad decision on my part, yes I realize that.
So what should I expect? Obviously I will be shutdown, have ED for a while, feel bad mentally and physically. How can I get through this? I know all of the work will come from me. But any advice will help me do this work. I've had severe insomnia since I was a kid, it makes everything much harder to deal with when I can't go to sleep and start again tomorrow. I am going to do this though.
Any flaming is understood of course because I am responsible for this mess I got into. I can't change the world before I change myself.
I'm 19 years old, huge history of drug use, rehabs, whatever. Started working out when I was about 14 really serious. I gained 20 lbs naturally without much fat, about 10% body fat 150lbs. I was using scripted opiates recreationally. Hydros, oxy, tramadol, anything to maintain my mind state to stop it from going to depressed and anxious mode.
I was still using all these drugs when I decided to do a steroid cycle. I read up on everything really well, and I knew what I was doing. But I didn't do it right. I screwed up. I did a 4 week test 200mg/wk and epistane 40mg/day and gained a few good pounds. But I couldnt get my opiates anymore and would definitely go into withdrawl if I stopped, I wanted to change. After 2 failed detoxes, Here I am right here right in the middle of my cycle unable to workout and detoxing, withdrawing hard. I can't go to the gym yet. I've lost a few pounds from not being able to eat much during these detoxes. This time I am 36 hours into opiate withdrawl, and I am going to do this. Finish this withdrawl and get my life together.
So I had about 100mg of test left and thought what the heck, it would go to waste. So i did that about 5 days ago. I'm no doubt going to lose much of my progress and be shutdown for a while because the drugs distracted me from my weight training and my life, and getting started at college. I accept that now. So where do I start? I have another 5 days till I'm up to about 90% physically. Mentally, I will have a long ways to go. It will take a long time to get rid of the depression and anxiety that comes from getting off of these opiates. Plus being shutdown from my cycle that was a bad decision on my part, yes I realize that.
So what should I expect? Obviously I will be shutdown, have ED for a while, feel bad mentally and physically. How can I get through this? I know all of the work will come from me. But any advice will help me do this work. I've had severe insomnia since I was a kid, it makes everything much harder to deal with when I can't go to sleep and start again tomorrow. I am going to do this though.
Any flaming is understood of course because I am responsible for this mess I got into. I can't change the world before I change myself.